A Husband for All Seasons (9 page)

“You told me this a few weeks ago, but it really didn't sink in until today.
We walk by faith not by sight
. I'm ready to do that.”

Perry chuckled and Chad knew he had pleased Perry by confiding in him. “I warn you that's a risky way to live. God might lead you places you don't want to go. I've been there, done that.”

“I know I'll be frustrated because I can't see the end from the beginning, but I know that's the only direction I can go to fulfill what God wants to do in my life. I'm going back to Columbus tonight and see what happens.”

“Now that you're committed to God's will in your life, you'll be surprised what He can do through you.
When we offer all we have, the rest is up to God. You'll never be sorry.”

“I'm looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks. We can have a longer talk then.”

After he severed the connection, Chad realized that his conversation with Perry hadn't been strained at all.

Thank You, God, for restoring our friendship. Soon I'll have to deal with my lack of forgiveness over the circumstances of my birth.

Chad held the phone in his hand for several minutes wondering if he was ready to contact his friends and former teammates. With hands that trembled slightly, he dialed Tommy's number, almost hoping he would get the answering machine. But Tommy answered.

“Hi buddy. This is Chad.”

A moment of silence indicated Tommy's surprise. “Man!” he finally shouted. “Am I glad to hear your voice! I pestered your father for a number where I could reach you, but he wouldn't tell me.”

“I'm sorry, but I've gone through a rough time.”

“I'm sure of that. Your dad said the surgery turned out good. Are you still healing?”

“Oh, I'm great physically. But I was a little slow accepting the fact that I can never play pro ball again. I didn't want to talk to anyone—especially not anyone connected with football.”

A moment of silence passed before Tommy said quietly, “When I wrote you a letter and you didn't answer, I figured you blamed me for your injury.”

“Not even for one minute, buddy! You know that I've never been a letter writer. I waited until I could talk to
you, but that took longer than I expected. Please don't feel any guilt. I can understand how you feel because if I thought I'd caused you to be injured I'd have felt the same. The surgeon thinks that the goalpost is what caused my injury and it was the combined weight of both of us that caused it to collapse, so you aren't any more to blame than I am. Injuries are part of the risk we take when we play football—I've been hearing that ever since I started playing in Middle School.”

“It just makes me feel better to talk to you and to have you sound so upbeat. What's next for you?”

“I'm not sure,” Chad answered, not yet ready to talk to his friends about the renewal of his faith.

“The other guys want to hear from you.”

“And I want to talk with them, but I need to get my life back on track. But tell them this—I will be at the first game of next season, so be sure you reserve the best seat in the stadium for me.” He gave Tommy his phone number. “Keep in touch. Okay?”

“Of course. I feel better than I have for weeks.”

After he finished speaking with Tommy, Chad hummed the tune of a gospel hymn that infiltrated his mind. Suddenly he thought of a few of the lyrics, and sang them joyfully as he made arrangements to return to Columbus and Vicky.

“One day at a time is all I'm asking from You.”

 

Vicky was tired from her long day at the hospital and the bookstore, and her feet lagged as she walked to answer the phone that was ringing when she entered the apartment after seven o'clock.

“Hi, Vicky. It's Chad. I'm home,” he said.

“Home, as at the apartment on Neil Avenue?”

“Yep. I came back today, turned in my motor home and caught a taxi to the apartment. How about going out with me for a dinner, lunch or whatever? I haven't eaten much today and I'm hungry. Maybe we could even go somewhere a little special?”

She wondered at the excitement, or was it happiness, in his voice. “Actually, I'd intended to have a boiled egg and some toast, but you've talked me into it. Give me time for a shower. You can pick me up in a half hour.”

Vicky was curious about Chad's obvious change of attitude and his impulsive return to Columbus, but she didn't ask for she was convinced he would tell her tonight. She didn't think she had time to shower
and
style her hair, so she pulled on a shower cap, wondering what to wear. On her limited income, Vicky seldom bought new clothes and those were only casual garments suitable for work and church. For once she would like for Chad to see her in something besides slacks.

She stepped out of the shower and rubbed a towel over her body while she glanced in the clothes closet. She made a face at the meager selection of clothes. There wasn't much choice—or much time! She grabbed a long black knit skirt and chose a gold crushed velour tunic to wear with it. She took a long gold chain and matching earrings from her jewelry box.

Vicky was pleased with the finished result as she surveyed her appearance in the mirror. “But what if Chad is dressed casually?” she muttered aloud. “Special” could mean anything. Had she overdressed? Over-expected?

Figuring she had made another mistake, the pleasure in her appearance dissipated arousing old fears and uncertainties. Couldn't she ever do anything right? Her misgivings increased by the minute and when Chad knocked on the door, her breath caught in her throat and her heart pounded as she opened the door.

Her fears were premature! Chad wore a dark suit, white shirt and tie.

“You look great,” he said admiringly as he sauntered through the door and closed it behind him.

Laughing in relief that she had made the right choice, Vicky said, “I can return the compliment! After I put on these clothes, I decided that you might be thinking about going to a fast-food restaurant.”

“Absolutely not! Only the finest tonight. We're celebrating!” Chad lifted her hand to his cheek. “A lot of things have happened to me in the past few days, but let's find a restaurant first.”

He held her coat for her and followed her downstairs.

As he drove away from the apartment complex, he said, “What have you been doing?”

“Just the daily routine. This is a busy time at the bookstore. Some students are buying their books for new courses they'll be taking after Christmas. Others are shopping for gifts. And, I've had quite a few calls to sit with people at the hospital.”

“I asked Grace to recommend a good restaurant, and she gave me directions to what she said was one of the best restaurants in town. We'll see.”

Oh, God, don't let him take me to a restaurant I visited with Damon!

Damon's family had money, because he only took her to dinner in elegant restaurants. But he'd never taken her to the one that Chad chose. Instead of being overdressed, Vicky now wondered if her garments would be acceptable in this restaurant known as one of Columbus's most exclusive. Reservations were required but Chad had called ahead.

While the maître d'escorted them to a secluded corner of the room, Vicky concluded that it didn't matter what she was wearing because the interior was swathed in mysterious duskiness. Sconce lamps along the walls provided enough illumination to light their way but little more.

Electric candelabra on their table provided enough light for them to read the menu. They ordered lamb chops covered with citrus sauce, asparagus spears, red potatoes and Caesar salads.

Chad's eyes seemed dark and unfathomable, and it was as if a stranger shared the table with her. His black hair gleamed in the muted light. He was different tonight. His restlessness of the past few months had disappeared. She sensed a firm strength in him. For the first time Vicky felt shy in his company, questioning how much longer she would share his life.

“I've finally ended my rebellion against God,” Chad said as they waited for the waiter to bring their beverages. He related the experiences with Oliver and how he had found God's will for his life as revealed in the Book of Jonah.

“I've turned the corner on my depression and doubts. I have peace in my heart that has never been there before. I'm not certain where God will take from me
from this point, but I'm willing to go where He leads. I have so many decisions to make, and I don't know what to tackle first.”

“Now that you're committed to let God lead the way, the next step will be easy.”

“Yes, the
next
step,” Chad said with a touching half smile, “but I wonder if I'll ever be sure about the ones that follow.”

“Sure you will. Once you've proven that you can handle a large block of the future, God will open up His plans for you.”

“It's an awesome feeling to know that God is that interested in
me.
”

Their dinner was served and since both of them were hungry, they didn't talk much while they ate, though they chatted over dessert. When their dessert plates were removed, they asked for more coffee.

“That will be all for now,” Chad told the waiter, for he had decided it was time for him to be the kind of friend to Vicky that she had been to him. Vicky's left arm was stretched across the table, and Chad covered her hand with his. A look of tenderness, tempered by determination, spread across his face.

“Now that I have my life turned in the right direction, isn't it time for you to tell me what happened to get you off track with God?”

V
icky stiffened at Chad's question. How could she talk to anyone about a situation she had secreted in her heart for so long? But noting the resolute determination on Chad's face, she knew he wouldn't take no for an answer.

She wanted to plead, “Not now. Don't spoil the evening.”

Instead she dropped her eyes before his steady gaze and said in a voice barely above a whisper, “I guess I do owe you that.”

Still she hesitated. If she told Chad the truth, he might decide he would be better off to find other companionship, and she knew that even if they were just friends it would be a blow to lose him.

But she had gnawed on her painful experience long enough, and in the few weeks she had known Chad, she had sometimes wondered if, because of her young age, she hadn't magnified the experience. Compared to what had happened to him, perhaps her mistake wasn't as bad as she remembered.

Taking a grip on her courage, she started, “For the past three years, I've been fretting over an incident that changed my outlook on the future, but it certainly doesn't compare with the trouble you've had.”

“Tell me about it. Friends don't need to keep secrets from each other.”

Still she hesitated to resurrect an incident she longed to forget, but was that also necessary before she renewed her vow to serve God.

“I've mentioned that I'd gone to the southern part of West Virginia as a Red Cross volunteer to clean up after a terrible flood. God had called me to be an overseas missionary, and this seemed a good opportunity to learn if I was missionary material. It was a humbling experience.”

“I can understand that. My experience with the Boy Scouts in Alabama quickly changed my outlook concerning people who were having trouble.”

“We worked out of a church, and even though the pastor, Allen Chambers, was several years older than I was, I fell in love with him. We were together every day. He was so kind to me I thought he shared the same feelings I did. I didn't tell him I loved him, but I'm sure I got the message across. When I learned that he was already engaged to someone else, I was shattered. It was such an embarrassing situation that I lost interest in everything, even my plans to prepare for full-time Christian service.”

“Didn't you talk to anyone about this?”

“Only to my roommate, Amelia Stone. She's married now, to Chase Rause, and lives in Worthington, a few miles from here. We have lunch together occasionally,
but we never discuss my crush on Allen. She knew how I felt, but perhaps she thinks I got over it.” She sighed. “Maybe to some people it seems silly, but to me it was very real. The love…and the pain. After that, somehow, everything just lost meaning.”

She avoided telling him of her second and worst romantic entanglement by saying, “I've been doing some soul searching, too, while you've been gone.” Briefly she recounted the days she had spent driving through the country trying to make some sense of her shallow life. “I know now that God hasn't released me from the commitment I made years ago.”

Chad's fingers tightened around Vicky's hand which he was still holding.

“Don't be too hard on yourself. It seems to me that every Christian is called to full-time service. Jesus doesn't save us to warm a church pew on Sunday. The New Testament makes it plain that every believer has a service to perform—it might be on the mission field, in a flood-ravaged region, or in a hospital room at OSU Medical Center. I'm not sure I would have made it this far if you hadn't gone out of your way to encourage my rehabilitation. You've helped me heal in a way I wouldn't have dreamed possible when I first learned that I'd had a kidney transplant.”

Vicky experienced a profound pleasure and contentment at his words. “Thank you for confirming what I felt God wanted me to do. I thought He had given me the privilege of helping you as a way to deal with my own messed-up life. When I compared my problems to yours, they didn't amount to much.”

“I'm not sure about that. I've not had the experience, but I'd imagine that a shattered romance could be very demoralizing.”

Chad saw the faint smile on her face fade to a brooding expression.

“To say the least,” she admitted wryly, wondering if she should go ahead right now and tell him about the situation with Damon. But his face held a hint of wonder and admiration as he looked at her, and still hurting from her mother's cutting words, Vicky couldn't destroy his trust in her.

“I'm considering returning to the actual place where I dedicated myself to Christian service and take up my cross there. I also need to apologize to my Mom and Dad for disregarding their wishes and causing them so much worry the past three years. But God hasn't yet given me the grace to humble myself that much,” she said with some bitterness.

“You'll have the strength to do what you know God wants you to do,” he encouraged. “Now that I've surrendered my future to God, I'm not sure what my next step will be. So let's grow in faith together.”

Because she thought that a good way to end an almost-perfect evening, Vicky put aside the thought of telling Chad more than she had already told him. Perhaps she never would.

Chad left Vicky at her apartment, but instead of going home, he drove slowly through the quiet streets of the residential section of Columbus's Victorian Village. He was puzzled by the strange feeling that came over him when Vicky had been talking about being in love. Was
he jealous of the memory she still carried of Allen Chambers? Or did he resent the man for making her unhappy? He discarded that as an unreasonable thought, when the minister probably hadn't had any idea that Vicky had a crush on him. But he didn't like to see Vicky so distressed.

And he had a strange feeling that it was up to him to protect Vicky from being hurt again. How could he best do that? As her confidant and friend? Or as her husband? He knew that marrying someone to protect them was a poor reason for matrimony. Did he love her? And did she love him? Chad was still troubled when he parked his car and climbed the steps to his apartment.

 

Chad relaxed in Grace's four-poster bed that was more comfortable than the one in the motor home—so short he had never been able to fully stretch out his long frame. He slept later than usual, showered and dressed. He hadn't left any food in the refrigerator, and he'd forgotten to get groceries the night before. He made a cup of instant coffee, unlocked the door into the hallway and went downstairs, marveling at how much easier it was to negotiate the steps than when he had first rented the apartment.

He knocked on one of the doors. His landlady opened the door and the smell of fresh-baked bread floated into the hall. He hadn't realized how hungry he was.

“Good morning, Grace. I'm back.”

She nodded. “I saw you come in yesterday afternoon. Come on in. I've got your breakfast ready. I was just going to call you.”

“Maybe I've already had breakfast,” he said, lifting his eyebrows inquiringly.

She answered his grin with a frown. “Humph! Have you?”

“No.”

“Just as I expected,” she said, smothering a smile as he followed her into the kitchen. Despite the fact that the room was large, it was one of the most cheerful places Chad had ever been.

A round table, covered with a blue-plaid tablecloth was in the center of the room. In one corner a lounge chair with a white afghan over the back faced a television. A sewing basket stood beside the chair, and a Bible was on the end table that held a reading lamp. Grace must spend most of her time in this room.

She placed a bowl of fresh fruit on the table and motioned for him to sit.

“I'll boil a couple of eggs to go with the biscuits. I take it you watch your diet.”

“That's right. Biscuits are only an occasional treat. But I don't have to watch my diet this morning.”

“Now that you aren't playing football, you don't want to put on any fat. That's apt to happen,” she warned.

“But I won't,” he said, dipping into the fruit. “My father hasn't gained weight, but he does work out, as I intend to do regularly now that my wound has healed.”

“I've had people come to the door looking for you.”

“I hoped no one would know where I'm living.”

“I sensed that, so I told them nothing, but I thought you should know.”

“It's okay. I'm ready to come out of hiding anyway. My
popularity won't last very long. Soon people will transfer their interest to athletes who are still playing ball.”

Her eyes compassionate, she sat opposite him. “And you're resigned to that?”

He hesitated slightly. “Yes, I am. I never did enjoy being in the limelight. I lived to play football, but I didn't care for the notoriety. These two weeks I've been away have been good for me. I finally concluded that God has some other plan for my life rather than football. I've put my trust in the wisdom of God.”

She dipped a tea bag in a cup of hot water. “That's the only way to live,” she said, “but I lived a long time before I finally learned that.”

“You've had your struggles, too?”

Her mouth tightened as if her memories weren't pleasant. “Losing my husband nearly killed me. Even after my husband became bedridden, I absolutely would
not
let him die. I defied the doctor's diagnosis, and knowing how I felt, my husband hung on to life long after he wanted to die. I finally realized that keeping him alive was for
me
, not for him. I was being selfish. I tried to explain that I'd released him into God's hands. He died the next day.”

Grace swiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks and Chad was beside her in an instant. He knelt by her chair and put his arm around her trembling shoulders.

“And it's the same way with this house. I've lived here alone for ten years, determined to keep my memories alive. My daughter has begged me to sell the place and come live near her and the grandchildren, but I refused. I'm a stubborn old woman.”

“Of course, you aren't. Maybe God had you stay on here so you could give me a home when I needed a place to live.”

She patted his hand. “I wouldn't mind selling out if I knew who was buying it, but if I put the property in the hands of a Realtor, I won't have any control over what happens to it. I hate to think of the home I shared with my husband belonging to someone who didn't love and care for it as I do. I'd like to see it remain a home where people could live as a family.”

“I don't know how to say this, but if you're having a financial problem now, I'd be more than happy to help you.”

“You've already given me the boost I needed by leasing the apartment for six months.” She retrieved a handkerchief from her apron pocket and blew her nose. “I'm all right now. Go on and finish your breakfast.”

Chad stayed with Grace an hour or more, asking her questions about her husband and her family before he went to his apartment. In a further effort to deal with the present, he dialed his agent's number.

“Man! Am I glad to hear from you,” Howie shouted, and Chad held the receiver away from his ear. “People have been driving me crazy—wanting to talk to you, wanting commitments from you, wanting to know where to reach you. But first, before we talk business—how are
you
?”

“Physically, I'm great. I still have a few emotional and spiritual hang-ups, but I'm mending. Thanks for being patient with me. I'm ready to talk now. I've got tons of mail that you should check through.”

“Are you coming back to Pittsburgh?”

“Not now, if ever. When can you come to Columbus?”

“Tomorrow, if I can get a flight. Call you back?”

“I'll give you my new cell number. That's the only phone I have right now.”

 

Chad met Howie at the airport the next afternoon and took him to the apartment. After the agent looked through all the mail that Chad had laid aside as important, he said, “Most of this is the same as the offers I've had. I suppose when I told them I didn't know where you were, they tried to contact you directly.”

“I've already decided on things I definitely want to do, but I have questions about others. Let's hear what's number one on your list.

“You need to snap up in a hurry the offer to publish the story of your life. An athlete's public is fickle. You're still news now, but in a year you won't be. Once you're out of the limelight for a while, they'll turn to new heroes.”

“I've accepted that, but I'm not sure I want a biography written.”

Howie shook his head, perplexed. “I can't understand that! You have a great football record that started in high school. Why not publish a book about it? This company is also interested in movie rights on the book. They have a ghostwriter ready to hop on the project and they'll push it through to quick publication. It will make you more money than anything else offered.”

“I don't care anything about the money. I'm concerned about personal issues—things I'd prefer not to have aired to the public.”

“You know that unauthorized biographies can be published,” Howie warned.

“That's a risk we'll have to take. I won't agree on it yet. But there are some things I want you to start working on right away, all of which will have to be approved by my accountant and lawyer. I want to establish a football scholarship at my alma mater, Wallace University, to aid underprivileged students who can't afford tuition.”

He riffled through a pile of mail and pulled out an envelope. “I also want to invest a million dollars in this program designed to provide lifesaving vaccines to children in Third World countries. The information is included in this pamphlet.”

He handed the pamphlet to Howie and picked up two other letters. “And I will let my name be used to promote contributions to the Red Cross and Salvation Army. I'll speak on their commercials if they want me to. You can take these letters from the two organizations to get the facts.”