Apt [Running to Love 6] (Siren Publishing Classic) (2 page)

“I guess we’re going clothes shopping, fella. I’m kind of into collars these days, so maybe I’ll get you one. One with spikes and shit.”

Beau’s tail thumped, and he nuzzled Dave’s hand. Jackie had rescued him, so the animal’s first loyalty was to her, but he’d accepted all the people Jackie loved without reservation. Dave patted his shoulder and then headed off to shower and get dressed to brave the stores with his little sis.

He dumped the bags onto his bed and sank down beside them, easing the shoes off his aching, tired feet. Jackie could talk the hind end off a donkey and even in her advancing state of pregnancy could walk it off, too. But he appeared to have obtained a completely new wardrobe, although he doubted he’d go anywhere often enough to wear out the several pairs of jeans and dress pants. The crisp shirts would wear well with his leathers, though, and he definitely needed the socks. The new leather boots were excellent. Jackie had an exacting eye and a nose for value. She hadn’t wasted a penny of his money. The silk boxers that seemed extravagant in the store probably weren’t, in retrospect. Dave pushed up and stowed all his purchases before heading off to shower again and don his working duds. He still needed to do the bar inventory and ensure a couple of the correction rooms were ready for tonight. At least
his
ass wasn’t being hung this time around.

* * * *

“How’s it going?” Alistair looked every inch the Dom in his own leathers and snowy white shirt, despite the fact that he wasn’t a big guy. Dave well remembered how ’Stair moved and how deadly he’d been in the field.

“Everything’s set, ’Stair. Although I’m worn out from shopping with your wife.”

“She wears me out, period, Dave. And shopping with her is the worst kind of torture.”

“Worse than Afghanistan.” The words fell from his mouth before Dave could consider them.

Alistair locked eyes with him and stared him down. Dave withstood it and rejoiced that he could even joke a little about it now. His friend relaxed, and his eyes filled with nothing less than relief and pleasure. “Probably a fair comparison.”

They walked in companionable silence to the office and looked over the night’s schedule.

“Meredith says you’re pretty much trained.”

“Well, the good doctor knows her stuff, and her off-site therapy ain’t bad either.”

“You back to normal?”

“I’ve never been normal, ’Stair, but I’m good. No nightmares, no shakes, no compulsions. I’m in control. I owe you, buddy, you and Dr. Massey.”

“You owe me squat, Dave. You’re family. But I think you might owe somebody else for starting you on the journey back.”

Dave stepped back and shook his head. “Nope. I guess it’s time to open up.”

Alistair narrowed his eyes and gave him a “you’re full of shit” look, raising an eyebrow to invite a confidence.

Dave ignored him and strode out of the office, making his way to the front entrance to pull back the dead bolt. The members had the code of the week, and the cop who pulled door duty would soon be there to play bouncer to doubly ensure privacy. This Club catered to cops and ex-military and the like, and those with sexual interests not prevalent in the general public. They appreciated a safe, secure place to enact them. Yet another cop would man the bar, and that would free Dave up to work one of the correction rooms. Alysha and Jorge were up tonight, and he’d gladly monitor Jorge’s action. Alysha was kind of a pain slut, and Dave thought it might help him get past his slight squeamishness of raising even temporary welts on a woman’s sensitive skin. He tried not to think about her, but Fiona’s skin was really fair, despite her fall of ebony hair. His family hailed from the north of Italy, hence the predominance of fair skin and blond hair. Fiona was Scottish with a healthy helping of black Irish. Her blue eyes were like the surface of the lochs her father recounted with such wistfulness. The dark blue of depth shifted to gray to reflect her changing moods. Alysha was model gorgeous, but Fiona was the epitome of everything Dave ever wanted in a woman.

No good could come from it, but he thought of her. And Dr. Massey was pushing him harder, harder toward disclosing his final secret. Fiona. ’Stair had picked up on it, too, and Dave knew exactly when that happened.

He’d told his buddy when he’d come back to the Club all those months ago that he was trying not to curse like he was still in the military, that he wasn’t supposed to. Fiona winced every time he said the “f” word, and he’d have done anything for her. Anything except stay with her and let her see the piece of shit he really was, the monster he’d become in his chosen career, something even the best intentions couldn’t always hide. Dave shook his head hard. The memory tattered and he tucked the pieces away. Maybe it was time to confide in Dr. Massey and see if he could put it behind him forever. This wasn’t the place to be thinking about Fiona anyhow. She was special, and although now, because of his training, Dave knew she was a born submissive, this place would send her screaming into the street. His cock twitched its disagreement, but he ignored it with the ease that came from long practice. She wasn’t cut out for this kind of life.

The cop for the door came in and nodded to him, although they didn’t speak. Dave didn’t know him very well because he rarely attended the Club and was pretty taciturn. Dave respected that. Jeff Staples didn’t attend the Club anymore for sexual interests after his wife, well, he and his partner Devon Rust’s wife Alex got fucked over here, but he still helped out. Maybe he hoped Alex would come back here someday. Dave could understand the pride and pleasure these Dominants got from showing off their subs. The intensity of the relationships really pulled at him, and he let himself flirt with the idea even if he’d never commit to one. It was a sweet kind of self-torture and well suited for self-punishment.

This was probably one of those nights where Alex and Devon hoped their kid slept through the night so they could have some one-on-one time. Dave marveled at how well that seemed to work. Jeff and Devon were partners at work and shared Alex with no apparent jealousy. Odds were they hadn’t known who fathered the baby out of the pair of them until after it was born. He knew he was too possessive, and he could never share Fiona. Not that he’d ever have the opportunity, not even to possess her on his own. He briefly wished he could stop thinking about her, but she permeated his thoughts more frequently of late. It seemed now he was in control of his life, his emotional guard had come down. Maybe it was indeed time to talk with the good doctor in his therapy session tomorrow and find a way to purge Fiona from his thoughts.

Max Brewster came in next and gave him a huge, sunny smile. Dave couldn’t help but smile back and wanted to tousle Max’s hair like he did his kid brothers’ overly long strands. Max belonged to Dr. Massey and had developed into a solid guy. He’d apparently always been one who’d have your back at work, but now he was someone who wouldn’t piss you off by ogling all the women in your life. He had eyes for nobody but his Domme.

“I drew bar duty tonight, Dave. Meredith’s got group, so it all worked out. But I guess you and I get a session together tomorrow night.”

Shit, he’d forgotten about the training session, being so focused on the one alone with Dr. Massey in the late morning in her office. She used Max as her “volunteer” to walk Dave through the variations of his new profession, and then did the same things to him. His ambivalence must have shown on his face because Max gave a little evil laugh that made Dave want to punch him in the face and forget all about how he liked the other man.

“You’re almost done, buddy. And then you get to torture subs.” Max’s smile grew wider as his eyes drifted away on some memory. “I wouldn’t trade places with you for anything, but you have to admit it. My Meredith knows her stuff.”

Dave sighed. Yup, indeed she did, and his asshole wouldn’t be as tender by tomorrow night, although that would change because she’d be sure to plug him again. It indeed served to ensure a Dom treated his sub right. He’d never have appreciated the sub experience unless he’d experienced it himself in training. Power exchange wasn’t for pussies of either sex. “Can’t say I’m looking forward to it, Max, but I’ll get it done.”

“Shit, Dave. I’m gonna miss you. It’s been like having a brother or something.”

“I felt pretty strange being naked with you in that context, Max, I won’t lie. But nothing like being fully immersed in the action. I gotta get to the back. The bar’s prepped. I’ll see you later or tomorrow, depending upon how things go.”

Max smiled widely again and obediently took his place behind the bar as Dave made his way through the green door and into the Club proper.

The room was ready, and ’Stair was set up with a different scene in the next one, also as a monitor. Jackie frowned on her husband touching subs, and Alistair had told Dave just how good his timing had been when he’d turned up on his doorstep. Jackie and Alistair had just connected again, and being in a ménage with Ashley took a lot of his buddy’s attention. Rightfully so. He could step into ’Stair’s role, and his buddy could handle the paperwork, interview people and the like, as well as monitor scenes. He got his control needs met at home, apparently, although Jackie would be back on display here once the baby came, of that Dave was certain. Alistair and Ashley were too proud of their girl not to show her off. Dave had decided to be elsewhere when that happened, just as he’d avoided their play before Jackie became pregnant. They were all a bunch of righteous perverts, but everyone had their boundaries, and his was not seeing his sister dominated and fucked by his best friend and a beautiful redheaded woman with eyes that could slice you into pieces. And who also carried a pistol, incidentally, being a cop.

* * * *

The evening went off without a hitch. Jorge enacted a poignant correction scene with Alysha, who submitted to her man with enviable grace, with Dave as the only witness. He’d even been comfortable with the multitude of welts and marks Jorge had left on Alysha’s back, buttocks, and thighs, seeing how quickly she slipped into subspace and hearing her moans of gratification. He also knew Jorge had taken great care not to leave anything that wouldn’t be gone by morning. Alysha’s job as a model necessitated it. Jorge fucked her from behind once they’d taken her down and stretched her over a perfectly positioned padded bench, and Dave was sucked off in their ritual of sharing. The blow job had been pretty damn good, for Alysha had a sweetly talented mouth and clearly craved the double penetration if her orgasm was anything to go by, but he felt curiously unmoved by the act. The physicality of it was fine. But the woman was wrong. He actually felt a little used, in fact, an altogether novel experience, and thought to share it with Dr. Massey. He’d never be done with therapy at this rate.

Alistair was the last to leave, once he read the countless texts on his phone. Jackie was ever present in his life, not nagging, not bugging, just sharing with him, and after the evening’s arousing events, Alistair visibly calmed and relaxed. Alistair never took his own pleasure at the Club. He absently nodded to Dave and hurried out the door, obviously trusting that Dave would close up and let him get home to his women without further ado. Dave wrote up a list for the cleaning crew and made his rounds before heading back to his lonely bed.

“So you found yourself in the barn.” Dr. Massey’s calm, neutral comment helped Dave to continue.

“I didn’t even know what town I got drunk in, let alone the bar. I picked a fight with the biggest locals, and it took five of them to beat me down. But not before I fucked, I mean, not before I messed them up good.”

“That was important to you.” Again, no inference, just reflection, but it made Dave think.

“It was important to me at the time. I was looking to punish myself, but I made people work for it. Maybe I secretly didn’t want to die. I don’t know.”

“So you ended up in a barn.” Shit, she’d come back to that. She always came back to the hints that were actually the crux of the matter. Time to man up.

“I guess I walked, or probably stumbled, into the night once I woke up in the alley. I had no idea where I was going, but I just kept walking. I actually walked into the side of the barn and knocked myself on my ass. I crawled around until I found the door and got inside and fell asleep in the straw. It was an empty barn.”

“That’s important?”

“Well, it didn’t smell bad, you know? Like cows or pigs or something.” Dave laughed. “I didn’t want to die in shit.”

Dr. Massey waited, and the silence stretched out until he thought he might snap.

“Next thing I knew this angel was wiping the blood off my face with a wet cloth. I opened my eyes and for sure knew I wasn’t in hell. All I could think of was how beautiful she was and how gentle her hands were.”

Dave abruptly stood. “That’s about it. I guess I’ll see you tonight. You and Max.”

“Your hour isn’t up, Dave. Please sit down.”

Dave felt his backside hit the chair cushion before he made any conscious thought. Damn it, the Domme was in the room with them. He knew he should walk out but somehow understood it was now or never. He had to deal.

“Her name is Fiona, and her folks owned the little farm I’d trespassed on. They took me in, kind Christian folk. And how did I repay them? I lusted after their only daughter, and damn near seduced her. I still don’t know how I didn’t fuck her senseless. And she would have let me do anything I wanted because the silly girl thought she was in love with me.”

“She thought she was in love with you.”

Dave ground his teeth so hard his jaw ached. “What would she know about love? She chose
me,
for fuck’s sake! A piece of shit, a poor excuse for a man. It was pity, and she confused it for love, and I took advantage of her.”

“And you left.”

“Fucking right I left. Before I did her. I packed up in the dead of night like the coward I am and lit out. And came here. That’s it. Are we done?”