Awakenings (A Witch's Coven Novel Book 1) (16 page)

I leaned back and nodded. “Yes, I did. I didn’t know any better back then. I grabbed whatever magic I could, and dark magic came first to my aid.” I remembered the night as though it were yesterday. “And I sent that fire at the Southern to burn him. I wanted him to suffer and die.” I glanced up at her and let her see another side of me. “And he did, and I enjoyed it.”

“But you always teach us in class to not give in to that part of ourselves. That the hate and anger will fuel us with darkness, and it will consume us.” She stopped and listened to the howling wind outside. “Why did you let the darkness take you?”

“Because it’s the only thing I knew back then. I had no teacher or mentor to help me. I didn’t know anyone who practiced magic. My magic came to me that first time because those men nearly raped me, and the second time I almost died. I just dug deep inside, and the magic came out raw, wild and dark. It came from a place of fear and anger.” I unfolded my hands and placed them on my legs and looked up at her. “And I paid the price for that. It led me down a deep and dark path that I don’t ever talk about these days. There’s much about me that I’m ashamed of, but that is the past, and now I’m here in the present with you. But the question that you haven’t answered is …”

She glanced back to the library. “Why is the Moonstone calling to me as well?”

I closed myself off to her and shifted uncomfortably in my chair. I turned away from her, afraid.

“Do you not trust me to tell me? Please, I will help you. You have done so much to help me over the last few years. Without you, I would not be one of your students.” Alessia leaned close and touched my hand. “Please.”

There would be only one way, and I had to take the risk. I turned back to her and held her hand and looked directly at her and said, “I am your birth mother.”

Alessia pulled away from me. “I don’t understand. My mother died when I was young …”

“That is what the woman who you call aunt was paid to tell you. She and your cousin are of no relation to you.” I said it and hoped the truth would set me free. I expected the worst to happen now and deserved whatever came back at me.

A dark look of anger came over Alessia’s face. She remained silent for a while, and I could see her struggle against conflicting emotions. “But why? Why would you do this to me? I don’t understand. None of this is making sense.” Alessia stood up and started pacing past the window like a caged animal.

“I made a mistake …” I changed my words immediately to something else. “I didn’t know what else to do. I am not asking you to forgive me. What I have done is unforgivable. I have treated you horribly and have lied to you your entire life.”

“Yes, you are right. I will not forgive you.” She stopped pacing and pointed a finger in anger at me. “I will leave here, and you will never see me again. All this time I have listened to you with your advice for what I should do with John. What a joke this all is!” She stomped her foot on the floor. “You have taken me in and trained me as an initiate, but if I’m your daughter, why would you do this all to me? Why?”

I kept my head down and shook my head. “Once I started to lie, it became easier over the years, but I kept a watch over you from afar and learned that you also had magical talent. After I had established myself and this coven, when you were old enough, I decided to bring you back and, if you could pass the tests, I would let you in, but I would not treat you different than any other initiate.”

“Is that true? Do you have late fireside chats with all your other initiates, teaching them about your sexual conquests and sharing personal stories with them?” She walked passed me with both fists clenched in anger. “You are sick, demented, and diseased in the head. For you to carry on such a lie for so many years and then to bring me in under your fold is just wrong.” She was at a loss for words and gathered her anger and threw it back at me. “I hate you!”

She rushed to the door, and I watched my past and future fade with her. All the choices I had made that had scarred me and damned me now all came back. I could not outrun what I had done. “Please, before you go. I need to explain to you the danger that you are in.”

She spun back and threw an angry glance at me. “Every word you say is a lie. How am I to believe anything from you?”

“You don’t. But the Moonstone calls you for a reason, and I need for you to understand so that you can protect yourself and leave and do whatever you choose.” I walked out of the room and back to the library. “Please, listen to what the Moonstone has to say to you, and then decide what you will do.”

She hesitated and then followed me into the library. When we entered, the gem pulsed in a brilliant bluish glow. I stood back with my hands behind me and said, “Grab the stone and it will tell you the truth. You will know then what you need and then can go. The gem calls to you. It wishes to pass itself on to my heir—to you.”

Alessia was no fool. As angry as she was at me, any initiate of the lowest order knew that a gem of power would unlock magic for her beyond her imagining. She would gain power and influence that would shape the rest of her life. She reached out to touch the gem and hesitated for a moment to look at me. Her anger masked her pain well, and she bit back her fear and touched the gem, but did not take it. When her fingers brushed the gem’s surface, a wave of light emanated from the Moonstone. Its power knocked me back against a shelf of books, and I covered my eyes from the brightness. The gem pulsed and hummed, alive in its way, and I relinquished my claim to it and fell back, falling into the magic, caught up in its light and truth.

We fell together in its light, through the floor and into the past. The gem would show her what I could not.

***

In the morning, I left my room and rushed down the hall to see Denise. The events of the night before had clouded my vision with fear mixed with hate. Stephen had told me that he would be back in the evening after his watch. What few men were left in the city took guard around the city’s walls, and several women also joined them to ensure that no additional Southerns climbed over the defenses.

When I entered Denise’s room, I was surprised to see her sitting up and having breakfast. I had imagined the worst with her. Her coloring looked pale, but she was in good spirits. She ate some oatmeal in a bowl and placed it down on her lap when she saw me enter. “You came to see me!”

I rushed over to her and gave her a gentle hug, fearful that I might hurt her. The bandages covered up her right shoulder and she only moved her left arm. “I’m so happy that you are well.” I kissed her on the forehead and smiled. I could not hold back my tears. They streamed down my face, and I wiped them on my sleeve.

“Who knew that our singing would cause people to shoot at us? I expected a few thrown tomatoes but not arrows.” Her joking lifted my spirits.

“I expected them to throw things at me with how horrible my voice is compared to yours.” I let her go and pulled a chair closer to her bed so that I could sit by her.

“They’ve told me that all the Southerns were killed but one, and he’s being questioned.” She handed her bowl to me and I placed it on the table by her bed.

“Our house lord told us earlier that the captured Southern revealed the plan of how they entered the city. They hid themselves in barrels and were brought in yesterday when supplies were coming in.”

Denise pointed over to the table. “Can you pass me my water?”

I placed the mug in her hands and let her take it from me before I let go. “How are you feeling?”

“My shoulder stings and hurts horribly, but the rest of me feels fine.” She took a sip of water and then put it down quickly on remembering something. “They told me that your Stephen was there and helped fight off the Southerns. Seems that he hadn’t run off like you had thought.”

I laughed. “Stephen is many things, but he’s no coward.”

“If I had my choice, I’d go after Stephen and not Charles. Charles is the pretty boy, but Stephen looks to have some ruggedness about him, and I rather like that.” She took another sip from her mug and added afterward, “I’m happy that he came back to see you. I know how much he means to you.”

There were certain things that I had never even told Denise, and it would be best for Stephen if I kept it that way. “Thank you. I was so happy to see him last night. He is a dear friend, but my heart belongs to Charles.”

Mary from the kitchen came in to disturb us. “Time for you to go.” She brandished a wooden spoon and pretended to swat me with it. “You need to get to work, and Denise needs her rest.”

“Can’t she stay for a bit longer? I nearly had my head taken off last night.” Denise went to reach for me and winced at the movement.

I hugged her again and kissed her. “I’ll be back tonight. You get your rest and I’ll see you later. There are people to feed and wounded soldiers to clean. I should go help.” I let go of her and then went to do my work.

The day passed quickly with chores and more work than I had expected. Three women and two older men had been injured in last night’s attack. I learned that there were many more, but that the injured had been sent to the other great houses for care. Medicine and resources were scarce, and even in our house we had cut drastically on the luxuries that normally filled the house. I worked hard, did my chores and more, and at the end of the day, my house lord wanted to see me. I expected him to come to me as he often did, but I had been summoned to his private room.

I was led up by his most trusted guard, and as we made our way to the third floor, I tried to take in all that I could see. I had never been to this particular private room before, and the tapestries and paintings amazed me. When I entered his room, he sat at his desk writing in a scroll. He wore glasses and scribbled quickly with the quill, using his left hand. When he finished his line, he took his time to put the quill down and then looked up over his glasses. “Come before me.”

I did as asked but did not sit down in one of the two upholstered chairs and kept my eyes down on the thick and luxuriant rug on which I stood.

My house lord waved off his guard. “Leave us.” Without a word, the guard bowed and left the room. Thaddeus took his glasses off and dangled them from his right hand and said, “Look at me.”

I folded my hands behind my back and glanced up, afraid of what I might see. Thus far, he had proven himself to be a fair house lord, but there were a few stories I had heard from the older staff that frightened me.

“Do you remember my taking you in three years ago?” He did not take his eyes off of me.

“Yes, thank you, my lord.” I bowed my head but quickly looked back up. I knew him well.

“I took you in because I saw something in you. Something that you did not see in yourself, and I wanted to save you from the harshness of the streets and of the brothel.” He put his glasses down on the desk and watched me with a fierce intelligence. “There’s a spark in you that I saw. Am I right?”

I did not know how to answer. “Yes, Denise often jokes with me that I have a sharp tongue. I will work on being more in line with the rest of the help.” I finished and then added, “My lord.”

He shook his head and laughed. “Do you think me an ass? I have run this household since my mother passed and run it like a general. I know the comings and goings of everyone, and I know even the most intimate of secrets. I need to know because knowledge is the true power.” He folded his hands together and then quickly broke his calm and scratched the back of his bald head. “But you have more secrets than others.”

A bolt of fear struck through me. I lowered my head and thought it best to confess. “I apologize, my lord, for taking your carriage and leaving the main city late at night a few weeks ago. I will accept whatever punishment that you bestow on me. Please.” I dropped down to my knees. “Do not put me out on the street.”

He waved me up. “You’re such a fool. I don’t care so much about you stealing a few bottles of my best whiskey and borrowing my carriage. We will keep that between us if you tell me about what truly happened after the Southerns attacked you and Denise on stage during the show.”

I was in worse trouble than I had imagined. “My lord, Denise and I sung on stage, and I heard a loud bang from the back right of the theater. People pushed forward and then archers from the balcony fired arrows and started killing people in the audience. Denise was hit in the shoulder, and I pulled her back off the stage. It was chaos.” I tried hard to fight back the tears. “I dragged Denise back, and no one helped us. A fight had started in the front, and I pulled Denise out through a side door onto the street. I learned later that men and women of the city took up arms and fought off the Southerns.” I turned my head to spit on the floor but remembered where I was and held back.

“Hold it. Hold it right there.” He pointed at me and focused on a point on my body that I could not see. “Tell me more about the fire.”

“It was roaring and fierce and I pulled Denise to safety. Everything happened so sudden.” I held my gaze with him and did not look away. I needed him to believe me.

He smiled. “You are a good liar. I like that about you.” He stood up and came around the desk and walked around me in a circle. “You keep your secrets close and do not boast or try to take advantage of others. That’s rare in a person like you. Extremely rare, and that’s of use to me. I need someone like you.”

“I don’t understand.” I went to say more, but he cut me off.

“It is of no use lying to me now. It is just the two of us here. I was there after the attack. I saw the fire put out and saw how it resisted the water. The entire theater burned to the ground. The only reason why it didn’t spread is that the theater wasn’t connected to any other building. The fire reached stone and finally died. But I’ve inspected the stone and saw the marks that no one else could see or know to look for, and I know your secret.” He stopped in front of me and leaned in close and whispered, “Tell me with your own words what your secret is. I want to hear it from your own lips.”

My heart beat fast and my mouth became dry. I did not know what to say and was caught off guard. I did not turn to him but stood facing straight and stared at a painting he had on the back of his wall. Seconds passed, and I needed to decide. Tell the truth or lie. Either option had dire consequences.