Becoming Forever (Waking Forever Series) (3 page)

A few years ago, when
Ash was still a patrol officer, her partner at the time had to pull her off of an ER doctor. The man had taken the opportunity to inform a distraught mother that her daughter might have survived the hit and run had she been wearing a bicycle helmet. The inference that the dead child had paid proportionally for her failure to adhere to bicycle safety rules had been too much for Ash. Luckily the doctor didn’t press charges.

Ash looked over at her father, and then her brothers. They were nodding as Dr
. Freeman continued to explain the process. Ash’s mind wandered to her last conversation with her mother. They had argued over whether to have pork or beef ribs at the bar-b-que.

“Ma, we’re in Texas, and a pork rib is an appetizer here.” Ash had insisted.

“Ashley, you of all people should know size doesn’t matter. Besides, I prefer the taste of pork ribs.” Elizabeth had countered.

“
First - eww to the size reference, and second why not do both?” Ash suggested.

There had been a long pause on the other end of the phone. “Well, all right then.”

Ash nodded. “Good. Gotta go. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Ash? Ash?” Jason’s voice broke into his sister’s reminiscing.

Ash shook her head
. She realized Dr. Freeman had left, and her family was standing staring at her. “Sorry.”

“Mom had everything taken care of, so we really just need to get the
obituary out and ensure people know.” Jason was always the one to lay everything out and organize the group. As the oldest, he tended to take charge of most family gatherings. Plus his chosen profession as an architect made planning and organizing second nature to him.

“Can you go through her email contacts? I’ll go through her phone list, and Michael will get on her Facebook account.” Glancing at his father
, who had sat back down once the doctor left, Jason continued. “We can compare lists and then get the word out.” Ash and Michael nodded.

Funerals are for the living.
Ash remembered her mother’s words as she left the hospital and walked back to her Jeep. Elizabeth had made the comment in passing when they were seeing to the arrangements for her great aunt. That was nearly ten years ago, and the chaos of that funeral had been what triggered both Elizabeth and James to pre-pay for their services and burials. In addition, the couple had taken the time to create a list of do’s and don’ts for their services.

“I don’t understand this open mic trend that seems to be going around, but Ashley
, under no circumstances are you to let anyone - especially your Aunt Jean - get up and speak off the cuff.”

Ash chuckled at the memory as she sat in her apartment’s parking garage. She didn’t remember how she had arrived home, but sitting in the silence of her car, she laid her head bac
k against the leather headrest.

A shudder began deep in Ash’s chest, and rumbled out to the edges of her body as the only plausible and right choice unfolded from her. Clutching the steering wheel, she sobbed until she was numb from it.

***

Ash walked through the metal detector at the main entrance of the Bexar County Medical Examiner’s
Office. She intended to stay away while her mother’s autopsy was being performed, but she couldn’t resist.

Entering the non-descript two story beige building, Ash showed the African American security guard her badge and photo ID. “How are you doing this morning
, Albert?”

Albert had worked at the examiner’s site for nearly fifteen years, and
Ash had gotten to know him since she was promoted to detective a year ago. “I’m on this side of those glass doors; so pretty good.” Henry nodded toward the automated sliding doors marking the entrance to the Medical Examiner’s wing of the building.

Ash felt a lump form in her throat. “That’s the best any of us can hope
for, Albert.” She managed a smile as she walked through the security checkpoint and the automated doors.

Angela Hernandez, a heavy set Hispanic woman in her mid-fifties
, rose from behind a gray metal desk and rushed toward Ash. “Ash, I’m so sorry to hear about your mama.” Angela wrapped her full arms around Ash and gently rocked back and forth. “When I saw the exam list, I prayed it wasn’t true.”

Ash took a step back, and reached for Angela’s hand. She wanted to hold her emotions in check since this was an extension of her workplace, and Angela’s genuine outpouring of concern was tugging at the walls Ash had been working to maintain. “Thank you
, Angela.”

Angela nodded, and looked sympathetically at Ash for several seconds. “Dr
. Atman is the Deputy M.E. assigned to your mama.”

Ash
shook her head. “I don’t know her.”

Angela stepped back around the desk, and thumbed through a stack of papers. “She’s only been with us for a few months. She’s friendly enough, but -” Angela bit her lower lip nervously.

“But what, Angela?” Ash sat on the corner of the desk.

Angela looked down the hall to ensure no one else was
within earshot. “She’s a little hard to follow sometimes. Very proper and polite.”

Ash chuckled. “Good manners
aren’t a crime, Angela.”

Angela nodded.
“Oh, I know. I tell my grandbabies to make sure they say thank you and yes ma’am.” Angela frowned. “Also, she’s cold.”

Ash shrugged. “Well, doctors have to maintain emotional distance, and I’m sure as a medical exa -”

Angela shook her head. “No, no. She’s actually cold. When she started here they threw her a welcome party, and I shook her hand and -” Angela rubbed her forearms and shivered. “Her hand was ice cold.”

Ash shook her hand. “
I’m sure it’s all the hand washing she has to do in her line of work.” Ash stood, and patted Angela’s shoulder. “Be grateful. It means she’s fastidious.” Ash winked. She liked Angela, but the older woman didn’t have much to do since the county’s record keeping had been transferred to a vendor database. She was only a few years from retirement, and the county had decided to keep her on so she would get the entirety of her pension. “I’ll see you later, Angela.”

Angela hugged Ash again. “You take care
, mija. You and your family are in my prayers.”

Ash smiled.  She left Angela and
walked down the hall toward the medical examiners’ office. She came to a closed door with a brass name plate that read in black block lettering ‘Emma W. Atman, M.D., D.M.E., Ph.D.’. Ash muttered to herself as she looked at the name plate. “Jesus. It’s a damn alphabet after her name.” Taking a deep breath, Ash knocked on the door.

“Come in.” A w
oman’s voice responded in a light falsetto tone.

Ash opened the door. The office was relatively small, roughly the size of the average bedroom. A walnut writing
desk that by Ash’s estimates was Civil War era sat in the center of the room, with a high back leather chair behind it. Along the right wall of the office were wooden floor to ceiling bookcases.

Standing in front of the bookcases was a
beautiful blonde woman in her later thirties. She was around 5’5” tall, with a lean athletic build. Her skin was pale and flawless, complimenting her angular jaw and perfectly proportional pink lips.

Ash felt her heart rate rise as the most intense blue eyes looked at her. “Yes? Can I help you?” The doctor
was wearing a set of green surgical scrubs with a white lab coat, her thick blonde hair was pulled back in a loose pony tail, and she stood with a stack of books in her hand.

Ash managed to walk the rest of the way into the office,
leaving the door open behind her. “Hi. I’m Detective Ashley Haines.” The doctor smiled, revealing perfectly straight and remarkably white teeth. She put the books down on a small cherry wood end table near the only window in the room.

Emma extended her hand as she walked toward Ash. “Oh, hello. I’m Dr
. Emma Atman.” Ash took her hand and realized instantly what Angela had been saying about the coldness of the doctor’s touch. Emma released Ash’s hand and looked curiously at her. “Am I working one of your cases detective?”

Ash shook her head. “No, well -” Ash willed the words to form and exit her mouth. “You’re working on my mother. Elizabeth Haines.”

Emma frowned, her eyes flashing a brilliant blue as her brows furrowed. Against Ash’s will, tears filled her eyes. All the condolences and outpouring of concern she had experienced in the past few days paled in comparison to the pure and genuine concern this complete stranger had just conveyed in a single glance.

When Emma spoke, her tone was quiet and soothing.
“Detective Haines, I am so sorry.”

Ash wiped at the tears as they began to stream down her cheek. “Thank you. I shouldn’t have come, but -” Emma pulled several tissues from a box on the corner of her desk and handed them to Ash. “Thank you.”

Emma placed her hand lightly on Ash’s shoulder and guided her to the lone chair in front of her desk. “Please sit down. Can I get you a glass of water?”

Ash shook her head as she wiped her nose with the tissue. She hated that she was doing this in front of a co-worker
, even one she’d just met. “No, thank you. Just give me a minute.”

Emma nodded. “I need to go pull a file. I’ll be back shortly.”

Ash looked up as the doctor left the office, shutting the door behind her. Relief washed over Ash now that she was alone, and not feeling so exposed and vulnerable. Angela was right again. Emma Atman was very polite, and had done her a great service, allowing her time alone to recover and save what dignity she had left.

As the crying slowly receded, Ash began to look around the office. It was remarkably tidy in spite of its relatively small size, and given the amount of books and papers dispersed throughout the space. The walls were adorned with certificates, including Dr. Atman’s medical diploma from Vanderbilt University and her Certificate of Residency from the University of Missouri in Columbia for Pathology. Ash’s eyes scanned the remainder of the wall and found Emma’s Doctorate in English Literature from Princeton University.

Nothing like being an underachiever.
Standing up, Ash was drawn to a painting on the wall behind the doctor’s desk.

A woman wearing a long
light blue dress, with her hair blonde pulled up in a bun indicative of the antebellum period, was kneeling next to a young Union soldier. The man was prone on a thin hay stuffed mattress. As Ash looked closer, she realized the man was in fact only a boy of maybe thirteen. The woman was tending to his right arm, which had been amputated and was swollen with an angry looking incision. The look of concern on the woman’s face was reminiscent of the look Dr. Atman had just given her.

Ash was startled by the faint knock on the door. “Yes?”

The door opened and Emma peered around the door. Seeing Ash was more composed, she walked into the office. “Detective Haines, I pulled your mother’s file.” She walked around the desk and sat in the leather chair. “Please.” The doctor gestured for Ash to sit in the chair she had been crying in only moments before.

She’s not going to talk about the crying. Thank God.
Ash was relieved as she took a seat. “I know you aren’t allowed to disclose the autopsy results before the final report is filed, but I hoped -”

Emma flipped the manila file open. “Of course.” She smiled
professionally as she began to skim the contents of the folder.

“Your mother died from a ventricular aneurysm. Which -” Emma looked up at Ash. “
Is usually associated with complications from a heart attack, but looking at your mother’s medical history, I didn’t see any evidence she had suffered a myocardial infarction.”

Ash nodded. “If it
wasn’t caused by a heart attack, then what?”

Emma looked at the file again, and absently chewed at the inside of her lower lip. “
Genetic abnormality in the lining of the heart muscle caused the bleeding and the subsequent clot that killed her.”

Ash was having trouble focusing on what the doctor was tell
ing her. Her emotions were all over the place, and the fullness of Emma’s lips was distracting. “She never had any issues.”

Emma nodded, closed the folder and placed i
t on her desk. “Unfortunately, some irregularities are asymptomatic.”

Ash looked down at the brown
carpet that covered the office floor. “It was just waiting.”

“Pardon?” Emma leaned forward and put her elbows on the desk.

Ash shook her head. “I mean she had this thing inside her for probably years, and didn’t know it was just out there - waiting.”

Emma leaned back in her chair. “Please don’t think me insensitive
, detective, but there’s something waiting out there for all of us.”

Ash’s eyes widened as she looked at Emma. “Of course.” She stood up and walked to the door. “Dr
. Atman, thank you for the information, and -” Ash blushed and nodded toward the box of tissues. “And the other thing too.”

Emma walked around the desk and held the door open for Ash. “Call me Emma, and it was no trouble.”