Believing Lies (28 page)

“Wait up to three minutes! How did we miss that?” My voice was so shrill that I almost didn’t recognize it as my own.

I crumpled up the directions and threw them at the wall. In a fast flurry of emotions, I went from shock, to denial, to anger, and back to shock. A million questions raced through my brain. When the voices in my head got too loud, I broke down. Kaleidoscopes formed behind my eyelids, and I tried to blink back the tears that threatened to spill. My lungs were getting so thick that I couldn’t breathe. My body began to shake as I gasped for breath. Sophie put her arm around me and brought my head to her lap. The tears could no longer be contained, and they rained down the side of my face, landing on her legs.

Chapter Twenty-Two

I let Sophie comfort me while I had a brief crying jag, then I went to my room and crawled into bed. I screamed at her to leave me alone when she tried to follow me. It wasn’t one of my finer moments, but I just needed space. I even went as far as shutting off my phone. I lay there the rest of Thursday night, trying to convincing myself the test was wrong. There was no way I could be pregnant. My theories were: I’d bought a faulty test, I must’ve miscalculated when my last period was, or I had the stomach flu.

I woke up Friday at dawn, vomiting—again.
So much for the faulty test theory
. I went back to bed, feeling both physically and mentally deflated. As much as I wanted to avoid it, I had to make some hard decisions. My brain, my conscience, and my heart all got together for a meeting. In the end, the conclusion on the most important question was unanimous—I was keeping the baby. However, my brain and my conscience disagreed with my heart on what I considered the second most important question: When to tell Adam? My brain and conscience felt he should be told right away. My heart said to wait. And when in doubt, I always went with my heart. I didn’t want to lose him, and I worried that he would run.

I was going to be selfish. The way I figured it, I probably had about three months before I would start to show. I wasn’t going to ruin the only time I would have with Adam before our relationship permanently changed . . . or maybe even ended.

I got out of bed, showered, and had a glass of orange juice and two pieces of toast for breakfast. I had an eight o’clock class to get to, and I wasn’t going to miss it.

I made it on time, but I only lasted through half the class before I was running to the restroom. Luckily, no one else was in there to witness. There was no way I was going to make my next class feeling as crappy as I did, so I went home.

Sophie was pacing the living room and talking on her phone when I walked in. “She just walked in the door . . . I’ll have her call you . . . Geez, I promise . . . At least give her five minutes . . . Bye.” She flopped on the couch with a huff.

“Adam?”

“Yep. He called my phone last night when yours went straight to voicemail, and I told him you were tired and in bed. Since your phone is still off, he felt the need to call me again. That boy is seriously tripping.”

I plopped down next to her. “Thanks for covering for me.”

She shrugged. “You would do the same for me. How are you holding up?”

I grabbed a throw pillow to squeeze for comfort. “I’ve come to terms with it, and I’m going to keep the baby. As far as physically though, I had to run out of my class and vomit.”

“Good . . . On the first part I mean.” She scrunched her face. “I hope you don’t mind, but I made you a doctor’s appointment for noon today with Dr. Bradley.”

“I don’t mind. I’m actually glad you did, but how did you manage getting me in today? She normally has at least a month long waiting list.”

“I stressed that your last name is Trudeau.”

“Ah. I see.” One perk of having a dad and uncle who were top surgeons at the hospital.

She narrowed her eyes a fraction. “The bitch receptionist wasn’t having it, but I told her to go ask Dr. Bradley directly. She kept me on hold forever, but when she came back, she was singing a different tune.”

***

Sophie went with me to the appointment, and the more she talked about being excited to be an honorary aunt, the more I came around to seeing that, although the pregnancy was unplanned, I truly wanted the baby. Sophie didn’t agree with my decision to not tell Adam yet, but she understood and promised to keep my secret, even against her better judgment.

Dr. Bradley gave me a due date of May ninth. It seemed so far away and too soon all at once. She reassured me that the few times I drank alcohol these past few weeks wouldn’t have harmed the baby due to how early in the pregnancy I was. For that I was relieved. She also gave me a prescription for nausea medication. For that, I was extra relieved.

On the way home from the pharmacy, I remembered that I hadn’t called Adam.
Crap
. Sophie was driving, so I turned off the radio and dialed. He answered on the second ring.

“That was an extremely long five minutes.” His tone made it more than clear that he was irritated. It wasn’t the greeting I wanted, but it was the greeting I deserved.

“Sorry.” My voice was sheepish and low. I didn’t know what else to say. I couldn’t tell him where I really was, and I hadn’t thought up an excuse before dialing.

There was an uncomfortable silence. “It’s fine. Are you feeling better?” He still sounded a bit miffed, but at least he wasn’t asking me why I hadn’t called back until hours later.

“Yes. Much better.” Another uncomfortable silence passed. Needing to break the uneasiness, I asked, “What are you doing the rest of today?”

He sighed into the phone. “Depends.”

“On?”

“You. It depends on you, Princess.” I could hear a small smile in his voice.

I relaxed at the change in the flow of our conversation. “Can I come over?” I asked, hopeful he’d want me to.

“Hurry,” was the only word he said before he ended the call.

“He hung up on me,” I told Sophie, feeling befuddled as I stared at my phone.

“What an ass. You asked if you could come over, and he hung up on you?”

“Kind of. He said ‘hurry’ and then hung up.”

She giggled. “I’ll drop you off.” I didn’t get why she found this funny.

“You could stay too.”

“Oh no. Conner’s at work for another hour, and it sounds like you’ll be
busy
.” She winked.

***

Adam opened the front door before I even knocked. He stood in the doorway, blocking me from entering.

“Hi,” I said timidly. “Aren’t you going to let me in?” When he didn’t respond or move, I said, “Listen, I get that it was shitty of me to shut off my phone yesterday and then not call you back today, and I’d be mad if you did the same to me.”

“I’m not mad at you. I was worried about you, and I missed you,” he said pointedly. His eyes were filled with intensity, but there was also something else there, only it was too far beneath the surface for me to identify it.

“I’m sorry I worried you. If it’s any consolation, that wasn’t my intention, and I missed you too.”

His lips parted slightly, drawing my gaze in like a magnet. Without thought, I swept my finger affectionately across his bottom lip. His eyes closed, and I stood on my tiptoes and replaced my finger with my lips. What started out gentle and sweet, quickly turned almost desperate. He pulled me flush against him, and I climbed him like a tree. Holding me up, he pulled me in the door, shutting it behind us with his foot. His fingers were gripping into my butt to the point that I was sure there would be marks left behind.

I threaded my fingers through his silky, black hair. “I need to feel you right now.” And I did. I needed him to drown out everything else in my life—if only for a while.

“I need to feel you more.”

He carried me to his room in a hurry, but once I was on his bed, he took his sweet time. He teased and toyed with me to the point of delicious torture. Only when I was literally begging for relief, did he fulfill my need . . . Twice.

When we came back down to earth, he shifted us until we were lying next to each other, face-to-face. For just a flash of a moment, I saw it—vulnerability—and then it was gone, replaced with playfulness. He pecked my lips, slapped my butt, and got out of bed. As he pulled his underwear on, I took the opportunity to stare at his body greedily.

“Take a picture. It’ll last longer,” he teased.

“Oh my Lord. That was cheesy,” I said, softly laughing and rolling my eyes.

“Maybe, but it made you laugh regardless.”

“True.” I sighed when he stepped into his jeans, officially kyboshing any chance of him returning to bed.

“I skipped lunch. What do you say we go get something to eat?” he suggested, pulling a shirt over his head.

I stretched out my sated, slightly sore, and still very naked body before sitting up. “Yeah. I could eat.” I tried to downplay the fact that I was famished.

He was looking at me from my head all the way to the tips of my toes like a man possessed. “Fuck eating.”

He stripped off his clothing in record speed. I squealed when he jumped back into bed and tackled me.

An hour later, we ended up ordering a pizza for delivery instead of going out. While we waited, we watched some TV. He sat on the couch, and I laid my head on his lap. He was twirling his fingers around locks of my hair, and it felt absolutely wonderful. Thoughts of babies and futures were pushed out of mind.
If only things could stay just this way
.

The door knock came too soon, and I reluctantly sat up. When he went to pay, I went to the kitchen for plates. I glanced at the ping pong table, and I couldn’t help it—I started to cry.
I’m going to have a baby with a guy whose kitchen is set up for beer pong
. I sank to the floor, and tears cascaded down my face.

I didn’t know how to control the wrecking ball of emotion that plowed into me. Trenton ended up being a cheater, but at least I would’ve been married and living in a nice place with a man who had his shit together . . . cheating excluded, of course. And I really did believe that Trenton had loved me. Adam had never told me that. Then again, I hadn’t confessed my true feelings. I was too afraid to tell him that I loved him because I was worried that he wouldn’t feel the same way or else think it was too fast.
Ha!
Talk about too fast, I was pretty sure that the words “you’re going to be a dad” would register on the Too Fast Radar.
Shit! I’m having a mental breakdown, aren’t I?
I silently counted to five and tried to calm down. It didn’t work.
Crap! A beer pong kitchen table! Gee, honey, can you move the red plastic cup so I can make the baby’s bottle?

“Are you hurt? Why are you crying?” Adam’s words were rushed.

I didn’t answer. I cried harder out of embarrassment at being caught in my little meltdown.
Damn pregnancy hormones!

“Princess?” He was kneeling in front of me with a look of helplessness, confusion, and worry on his face.

I wiped my eyes and stood up.
Get your crap together, Sienna
. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I stubbed my toe on the ping pong table and overreacted.” I grabbed the pizza from his hand and plastered on a smile. “I didn’t have a chance to grab anything. Would you mind?”

“Really? You really just stubbed your toe?” To say he looked skeptical would be an understatement.

“Yes. Why would I lie to you?” I all but accused.
Because I’m a horrible person that is going to be the mother of your child, but I’m too chicken shit to tell you
.

His dark brown eyes regarded me. “I don’t know . . . Never mind.” He kissed my cheek. “I’m going to have a beer. Want one?”

Yes
. “No thanks. I’ll go put this down and then grab a water.”

“I’ll bring it. Go sit down.” I was almost out of the kitchen when he asked, “You’d tell me if there was something wrong, wouldn’t you?”

I turned and smiled. “Of course.”
Yep, horrible person
.

I was halfway through my third piece of pizza when I heard Sophie’s voice. It was coming from my phone, and it was the voice she used when she imitated my mother. I burst out in laughter as my phone repeated over and over: “Sienna, this is your mother. Answer your phone, young lady. Right now!”

“Is that really your mom?”

“No! But it’s not too far off. Sophie must have recorded that after the last time my mother called me.”

The phone stopped, and Adam set down his plate. “Is she really that bad?”

“It depends on the day. She’s overbearing, snobby, and hard to please . . . but overall she’s okay.”

He looked a little worried. “Do you need to call her back?”

“I’ll call her tomorrow. She probably just wants to get brunch or something.”

Once again, Sophie’s mocking voice filled the room: “Sienna, this is your mother. Answer your phone, young lady. Right now!”

This time, I answered. “Hello, Mother.”

“Sienna. Get to the house right now, young lady,” she bit out harshly.

“You’re scaring me. Did something happen?”

“You could say that. We’ll talk when you get here.” Her tone remained icy.

“I’m not at home, and I don’t have my car.”

“Where are you?”

“Um.” I paused and looked at Adam. “I’m at a friend’s house.” I watched Adam’s jaw tighten.

“Have your friend or your cousin bring you. Actually, this is a family affair, so make it your cousin. We want her here too.”

“You’re not making sense. I’m not even with Sophie right now. Can we come tomorrow, or can you tell me over the phone?”

“You and Sophie get here, or I’m sending your father to pick you up. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Mother. I’ll see you soon. Goodbye.”

I stared at my phone, hoping it would explain the past couple minutes to me. I almost forgot Adam was there until he cleared his throat.

“What the hell was that about?” he prodded, his tone clipped.

Not liking his tone one bit, I coolly replied, “I don’t know, but I need to call Sophie. Excuse me.”

Without any further explanation, I walked into the kitchen, leaving Adam alone in the living room. When Sophie didn’t answer her phone, I tried a second time.

“Kind of busy, hose-beast. This better be good,” she said immediately upon answering.