Bittersweet Love (9 page)

“How fucking dare you.” She says, venom spitting from her mouth. She reaches her hand back ready to lay a smack on him, only this time Corey sees it coming and grabs her wrist before her well-manicured hand can make contact with his cheek.

“Oh come on Mimi. Maybe pull out a new box of tricks or something. All this same shit is getting old.” He has her wrist in a tight hold as she struggles to get out of his grip but ends up pushing herself up against him. He wraps his arm around her and holds her in place.

“Guys stop. This is dumb.” I say standing ready to break up their fight. Mimi stops moving and glares at him. I look at them both as if I’m mother hen, begging them to stop this childish fighting.

“Never and I mean, NEVER compare me to Marie again. Next time you want a good time, think about breaking up with your fucking girlfriend before you call me. You piece of fucking shit cumsucking-bastard.” Her eyes look black as Corey’s hold on her diminishes. She takes a couple steps backwards before spinning around. The last thing anyone sees is her dark, mahogany colored hair flowing behind her.

“I… I’m pretty sure that you should leave.” I mumble pointing towards the door, thankful that my house wasn’t demolished when hurricane Mimi came through.

Corey throws his hands in his hair pulling at the ends. “You see that, how the hell can I talk to her when all we ever do is fight. I just want to…” He lets out a loud roar that startles me. “All I want to do is try… But at the same time… I just want to take her against the wall and teach her… Teach her.”

        “Okay, enough, enough. I don’t want to hear it.” I say closing my eyes and putting my hands over my ears.
Lalalala. No way did I need the picture in my mind of the two of them rolling around in the sack.

        “Just, have her call me whenever she calms down.” He growls, clearly frustrated. The door slamming tells me he’s left. I stare at the wood floor wondering how I got to this point. How I went from being the slutty bullied girl, to being loved once again; to knowing that my ex, my tormentor loves my best friend. This is some shit out of the Real World.

        “MIMI JONES.” I bellow out, praying that she listens and comes out here to talk.

        “NO.” She yells back.      
             

        Maybe I should just give her some time. I cross my legs and sit on the couch looking at the time on my phone. I still have a lot of time before I get to see Rex, and honestly my business presentation is the last thing I feel like doing. I decide to stretch out and grab one of the blankets behind the couch. I grab a pillow, and shove it under my head and lay on my stomach. I tell myself I won’t fall asleep, but soon my thoughts of Rex are mixing with the darkness of my mind and before you know it I’m falling into the deep abyss.

***

        A feather light touch runs along the inseam of my shorts. The delicate touch of lips on my shoulder makes me groan out. This dream feels too real. His tongue glides against the curve of my neck. Teeth nip at my earlobe, and cause my eyes to pop open. I roll over and come face to face with Rex, and he’s smiling like the cat who ate the canary. He knows what he does to me. There’s a possessive look in his eyes.

        “About time you woke up pretty girl.” He whispers in my hair, his breath causing my hair to tickle my face. Yup, and what a way to wake up.

        “What time is it?” I ask, attempting to hide the fact that I would jump him at any moment in time. He smiles down on me again, and my breath hitches. We may have messed up somewhere along the way, but I would never trade the man in front of me for another.

        “It doesn’t matter what time it is…” He says clearly distracted by me. His fingers run along my thigh and skim against the frayed pieces of my shorts. He burrows his face into the side of my neck. Just his breath causes my blood pressure to rise, and my intake of breath to come in shallow. I want him to kiss me so bad.

        He works his lips over my neck, making sure he lands on every single sensitive spot. By the time he makes it to my lips I can’t take it anymore. I roll over and grab his face bringing his lips onto mine, and his body over mine. The kiss is anything but gentle, there’s need and possession as he nips at my lips to open wider.

        Our tongues collide with one another’s. A growl emits from his chest, as he pushes me harder into the couch. With his legs separating mine, I arch my body into his wanting every single part of us to be touching; for our clothes to fall to the floor, for the most intimate parts of us to become one. His hand delves into my hair as he uses the other one to hold himself off of me.

        “I want to take you so bad…” He grunts out. I run my hands through his hair and over the muscles in his back pulling his lips back onto mine. Yeah we might be moving too fast, but no one said we had to have sex.

        “I love you…” I say breathlessly against his mouth. I push him up softly, and he pulls himself off of me hesitantly. It’s time for a position switch up. I may be inexperienced with sex, but I do know how to kiss. I push him into a sitting position and straddle him.

        “You’re such a bad girl, pretty girl.” He says mischievously, his voice is deep and dangerous. If this was anyone else I would be scared, but I’m not. The fact that I can make him feel this way thrills me. It sets a fire to my insides, liquefying them.

        I take hold of him the way he does me, breathing life back into him one slow, torturous kiss at a time. I swivel my hips into his groin, and I’m rewarded with a deep growl that sends a satisfied smile onto to my face. His hands stop any further advancement though as I look down at him. His pupils are dilated and he’s taking deep breaths through his nose.

        “I would love for you to continue what you’re doing, but if you don’t stop I won’t be liable for taking you right here, right now.” His tone is serious even though there is a tiny smile pulling at his lips. I pull myself off of his lap, disappointed that we couldn’t go further. I know that waiting right now is the right thing to do, but it doesn’t make it any easier to peel myself off of him.

        He must see the disappointment written all over my face because he grips my chin in his hand bringing my eyes up to meet his. “Never, think that I don’t want you Jenna. I will always want you. This…” he says bringing my hand down to his bulging erection, my eyes growing wide. “That is from you and you alone. You feel that? That’s what you do to me.” He moves my hand ever so slowly over his length, his eyes closing as he leans his head back.

        “This Jenna, this is how you make me feel. It’s never enough with you. I want you every minute of every day for the rest of my life.” His breaths are coming out shallow, and his voice is raspy and deep. I move my hand faster, upping the pace. He pulls his hand off of mine, and I’m feeling confident. I pull the front of his drawstring shorts down exposing the muscles of his stomach. With my other hand I trace the planes of his abs, wanting to lick every indentation. I work my way back down to his very large erection. Where I should feel timid I don’t, he’s put the power and control in my hands and I love it.

        I pull his length out of his underwear, my eyes bulge and I gasp as I take him in. In this moment he looks beautiful, he looks strong, and as if he’s in a frenzy.

        “Fuck.” He mutters between clenched teeth. I bite my lip, and smile. Fuck yeah.

        I run my finger tip over the head. I hear his breath intake and I look up to gauge his expression, adoration is clear to me as his eyes turn to slits. I grip him gently, and glide my hand up and down slowly. The air around us crackles dangerously. I watch closely as I go a little faster, squeezing him tightly. His tongue slips out of his mouth and across his lips, moistening them. His teeth bite down on his lip hard as I continue to go faster. He grunts, and lets out a growl as he makes a fist gripping at the couch cushions.

        “Fuck yeah, just a little…” He whispers, before making one final grunt as he
cums in my hand. I get up, biting my lip in extreme satisfaction and make my way to the bathroom to wash my hand off. Most people like receiving but I love giving. I love knowing that when he goes home tonight he has something to think about, that whenever I pass that couch I won’t be able to not think about what we did. I think about how I made him feel; and how I brought the love and passion to the surface.

        When I come out of the bathroom, I see Rex has put himself away.

        “Get over here right now.” He demands, his voice soft. My face grows red, slightly embarrassed now that the light of the day has dawned on me. I walk over to him, his arms wrap around me as he pulls me across his lap.

        “I love you. You didn’t have to do that. I just wanted you to know that you and only you Jenna cause me to feel that way.”

        “I know, and I did it because I wanted to.” I mumble while leaning my head on his shoulder.

        “Well that was an excellent way to start a date, can’t say that’s ever happened.” He lets out a deep laugh that causes my body to shake with his.

        “Neither can I. Never have I been woken up like that.” I smile against his neck.

        “You stay with me baby, and you’ll wake up like that every day.” I can’t help but smile. It’s as if it’s a permanent fixture on my face.

“Let’s get ready to go I have somewhere I want to take you.”

“Really?” I ask excitement taking hold. I practically bounce off his lap, and get up to get dressed. A real date, and then it dawns on me. I’m falling deeper and deeper into this hole of love with Rex, but what if he’s not. I wasn’t immune to his moves last time and I ended up nursing a broken heart. It’s strange how doubts can remove all happiness from your mind.

        Doubts

My date with Rex was amazing; however I couldn’t push the doubts and worry from my mind. I sat, wondering the whole time. Though we moved forward and got to know a lot more about each other I still felt myself holding back. Being with him was like having food after starving for days, like taking that first drink of water after a long run.

It was exhilarating, powerful and raw, and if I didn’t stop myself soon it would consume me. I needed to jump on or off the boat, because I couldn’t be with someone I couldn’t fully trust. Then again, I couldn’t be without someone I already loved. When I said I forgave him I meant it and the more I worry about him doing something wrong the more I know I should let it go. If you say you’re going to forgive someone then you should do just that, otherwise doing what I’m doing now, it just seems as if I haven’t forgiven him at all.

I rack my brain even more trying to find a way to ease the anxiety. I could just text him? Or maybe I could just go down to his apartment. Yeah, we live in the same building yet act like we live miles away from one another. Then again it’s nice for us to be close but away from one another at the same time. I slip on my flip flops and take the stairs down to his apartment. I’m nervous because I’ve never been over there and showing up uninvited might not be okay.

I knock on the door, but get no response. Hmmm. Where could he be? He doesn’t have classes right now. I knock again maybe thinking that no one heard me. Just as I pull my hand away from the door, it opens. Ryder’s dark green eyes sparkling into mine, his hair is dripping water, and all he has on for clothes is a towel wrapped around his midsection.

“Uhh. Umm. Is Rex here?” I stutter, but manage to get out. He eyes me curiously, a grin forms on his face, and I have to hide the rage. Sometimes I think Ryder lives to piss people off.

“What if I said he wasn’t would you still come in?” He tries to make his voice as seductive as possible, and though I like Ryder for who he is lately he has been anything but a real person.

“Yeah. We’re friends, or at least I thought we were? Is he here or not?” I ask again, hating that I have to repeat myself.

“No, he’s not. He ran over to the Chinese restaurant to get dinner. If you would like to stay you're more than welcome to come in.” He says opening the door wider, gesturing for me to come in. He seems more annoyed than anything. I weigh my options. I could come in and wait a short
time for Rex to come or I could go back upstairs and wallow in my fears and sorrows. Insecurities are meant to be talked about, and I’m going to do just that.

“I’ll come in.” I say stepping over the threshold. I can’t help the way I peer around the room, looking at every inch of the walls.

“You look like you’ve never been in a guy’s apartment.” Ryder says closing the door behind us. I feel my face heating, is it really that obvious.

“I haven’t actually. I didn’t realize that they could actually be this clean.” For three guys living here the place looks excellent; like better than mine and Mimi’s house.

“Just because were assholes doesn’t mean were slobs. We like nice things; therefore we take care of them.” There’s a lace of anger to his voice and I don’t know what it could be that I’ve done to make him mad. I didn’t actually accuse them of being slobs did I?

“I didn’t mean it…”

“I know you didn’t mean it like that.” He says cutting me off. I quietly walk over to the couch, hoping that Rex shows up soon. These mood swings that Ryder keeps throwing out are giving me whiplash.

“You want a water?” He asks from somewhere over to my left. I turn around trying to find him.

“Uh yeah, sure.” Wow, this is awkward. When I spot him, I see that he hasn’t put any clothes on yet. So much for being modest, I snort to myself, like I should expect anything modest from a Winchester.

“Here.” He says handing the water bottle over. I try my hardest to avert my eyes anywhere else but at his sleek, abs, the ripples and the V. The V!!!! Must not look at your boyfriend’s brother.

I gaze back up deciding that if I have to look at him, the safest area would be to look at his face. A smug smile sits there, the same one he had on his face when I met him. The one I punched off his face.

“Do you think maybe you could, go put some clothes on. Please?” I ask frowning, because I know all too well he doesn’t give a shit what I have to say. I put myself in this situation, time to get myself out of it. He laughs, making his way around the couch taking a seat on the nearby recliner.

“Does this bother you dear Jenna?” Is he fucking stupid. Of course it bothers me. It’s like looking at a clone of the man I love. I can’t help but feel a tug towards him, though his shitty attitude really reminds me that he’s nothing like Rex. All that he and Rex share is DNA, which makes them twins. Otherwise they’re nothing alike. Rex is warm, inviting, and loving. Ryder is dark, and brooding. Somewhere along the way I know someone did something to him to make him the way he is.

“Yeah it bothers me. I don’t get you at all Ryder. Not at all. Every time I think I have you figured out, I end up somewhere in left field. What are
you hiding? What is your problem?” I want to bite my tongue so bad, but as a friend I feel the duty to ask, even beg.

A look of astonishment crosses his face. “What am I hiding? What’s my problem?” He grits out. “You
wanna know what my problem is?” He demands. I nod my head yes afraid that I won’t be able to form words. He’s unbelievably intimidating when he wants to be.

“You.” He says venom in his voice. I can’t hide the shock. Me? What have I done to him? All I ever tried to do was….

My thoughts are cut off as the air is pushed from my chest from Ryder’s body colliding with mine. His lips find mine, and I go ramrod straight against his touch. Who in the honest to god fuck does he think he is? I push on him as hard as I can, but before I can get him off of me, the door opens and all I can do is pray it’s not Rex.

“Get the fuck off my girlfriend.” Rex’s voice resonates through my mind. Ryder is pulled from me and thrown to the floor. That doesn’t mean I don’t catch the smile that marks his face. He wanted this; he wanted Rex to think something was going on. Rex
bends down, anger evident in the way he pulls his fist back to punch him. A distinct crunching sound pulls me from haze I was rooted in.

“Stop. Stop.” I beg, grabbing Rex by the shoulder. He shrugs my hand off, as if it’s nothing. I crawl in-between them protecting Ryder, even though
he doesn’t deserve it. Rex lowers his fist the second he takes notice of my body shielding Ryder’s.

“It’s not worth killing your brother over. I’m not worth it.” I mutter, out of breath. He glares at Ryder over my shoulder. Blood is on his fist, and I can’t believe that I caused such a problem. Rex walks into the kitchen and grabs a roll of paper towels, wiping the blood from his hands, and kneels on the ground near Ryder’s head.

“If you ever, touch her a-fucking-gain I will bury you in the ground. You might be my brother but you don’t touch what is mine. Ever. Are we clear?” There’s a sadness that seeps into the room, taking all the oxygen with it.

“Yeah, but it was worth it.” Ryder says smiling, his once white teeth covered in blood. I look away realizing that Ryder’s towel has now fallen off.

“Also put on some fucking clothes.” Rex stands, and looks down on me for a second longer than needed. I wonder if he thinks it’s my fault, if I caused this. Hell, I wonder if I caused it. Did I give Ryder the wrong idea?

A sing song voice I know too well sounds from the doorway. I look up toward the door, and see one person I
thought for sure I would never have to face again. Marie. Her hair is all over the place, and she’s carrying a bag similar to the one Rex brought in. My mind starts playing tricks on me as I look between the two of them. A smooth grin forms on her face.

“Wow Jenna. Can’t have just one,
gotta have em all?” Her voice is like pouring acid in my eyes. It makes blood boil. I sneer at her, ready to get up and hulk slam her through the concrete.

“Knock it off Marie.” Rex says, offering me a hand up off the floor. I look at it, and then back at her. A twinkle is in her eye as she stares at Rex while biting her lip. I right myself and push Rex’s hand away, not taking his offer to help me up.

“Awe baby, what happened?” She says walking up to Rex, pawing at his shirt. Apparently the bitch wants to die. Then again, maybe he’s been with her the whole time.

“Get your fucking hands off of me.” He yells, pushing her hands away. Anger floods me, but so does jealousy. I’m jealous and it hurts. I’m afraid, everything I taught myself not to believe I’m starting to revolt to. Rex reaches a hand out to me, his eyes urging to meet mine. I retreat taking a step back and running into the couch.

“Just… Don’t… Don’t I need some time?” I mutter afraid tears may fall if I don’t make it out of the room. It’s like high school all over again.

“Awe, trouble in paradise already? I’m here all weekend if you want a good time Rex.” Marie, the bitch, says as I head towards the door. Rex reaches out for me again and our eyes meet. He looks scared, and in pain as if the reason for him to breathe is walking out the door. I pull away, and get out the door just as I hear him let out a roar, his voice echoing my name
down the hall. I run to my apartment and lock the door just as the tears start to fall. I know he probably didn’t do anything wrong.  The last three months he’s shown me love and compassion and he’s gained my trust, but I couldn’t breathe back there, too many memories.

I walk over to the couch grabbing a pillow and screaming into it, draining every last ounce of anger and hate into it. I don’t want to carry this weight around. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with Rex.

The pounding on my door starts and I feel like running and crying. I feel the anger vibrating off of him on the other side of the door. I’m pretty slim on options here, I can let him continue to be a bull in a china shop and someone possibly call the police on him or I can open the door and try and make amends. This is it, we’ll either make it or break it.

I open the door and take notice of his heartbroken face. His arms wrap around me tightly, holding me as if trying to imprint me upon him. His heart beats erratically in rhythm with my own.

“I thought I lost you. I fucking thought I lost you.” He says kissing my hair, and every orifice of my face. His face upon mine makes me aware that there’s wetness on his face. He lets go of me, still holding me in place. His eyes delve into mine, digging into my heart making sure that I’m still with him, that my heart still beats for him.

“I swear I didn’t fucking touch her. I haven’t lied to you, she’s there for Ryder. Please say you believe me, please… just say something.” He begs, and pleads.

“I know you didn’t. I know it was just too much. It was suffocating. Being around her it reminded me too much of what I went through. Plus she hasn’t changed much. It was like reliving it.” I say into his chest, breathing in his sweet aroma.

“When I told you that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you I meant it Jenna. I meant it in here,” he says pointing at his heart. “When I met you I knew I had to be around you. I wanted to be wherever you were and I’d known you only a day.”

Have you ever just met someone and they affect your life in such a way that it makes your outlook on things change? Whether it was a good or bad affect, it still made some type of impact on you? It taught you the highs and lows, and eventually you that life has its valleys and peaks, and someday you’re not always going to be at the top. Well Rex taught me that, he taught me that we all make mistakes and go through highs and lows. Sometimes it takes seeing a bad decision and the effect it has on someone to change. We’re not perfect, and life is not perfect and I’m okay with that.

My eyes bleed into his. There’s uncertainty between us, but we both know it’s going to happen.

I take his hand and lead him down the hall to my room. I close the door behind us; the distance between us is too much. He looks around and I mean really looks, not just at me. I stand by the door as he makes his way over to my dresser, his finger running over the pictures of me and Mimi I have on it.

“You looked so happy then.” He faintly whispers and looks over at me. I nod my head.

“That’s probably because I was. That photo was taken my freshmen year of High School.” I walk the short distance between us and grab hold of the picture. Mimi and I were messing with the new camera her mom bought just taking random photos. This one we loved so much because we’re looking at each other with our noses pressed together. We both had cheesy grins on our faces.

“You don’t smile like that anymore.” He replies.

“Yeah I do.”

“No you don’t. In this picture your smile meets your eye
s
and you can tell you’re happy. I never see you like that.”

“Yeah you do. Because you make me that kind of happy. Being with you and having you back makes me that kind of happy.” I wrap my arms around him as best I can, just wanting to hold him. He picks me up and carries me over to my bed. Setting me down I roll over to my side and face him where he lays next to me.

His hand reaches over and he starts to rub small circles on the small of my back, relaxing me. You know you’re in love when the person that means the most to you touches you, and all your worries and pain melt away.