Chase the Stars (Lang Downs 2 ) (13 page)

J
ESSE
paced the confines of the tractor shed nervously. It wasn’t dark outside yet, but without the lights on in the shed, the space was dim, closer to twilight than day, and it would only get darker as time passed. He took a deep breath, the smell of machine oil comforting him. Maybe it wasn’t the most romantic smell in the world, but it represented safety for Jesse. Even at the lowest points in his life, going to a shop somewhere and working on engines had given him comfort, and usually enough income to keep a roof over his head and food in his belly.

The door creaked softly on its hinges as it opened and closed. Even in the shadows, Jesse had no problem following Chris’s progress across the dusty floor. “Over here,” he called when he realized Chris had not seen him as easily.

Chris turned in his direction and came over to the straw bale where Jesse was sitting. He sat down next to Jesse, staring straight ahead in silence for so long that Jesse wondered if he’d changed his mind.

“I missed you today,” Jesse said finally, sliding an arm around Chris’s waist, glad the cast was on Chris’s other side so he could pull Chris close without the weight of the plaster between them. “I’m glad you worked with Neil and are learning about the station, but it made me realize how used I’d got to having you around.”

That took care of what remained of Chris’s reserve. He tipped his head up for a kiss. Jesse gave it gladly, relaxing into the contact. He’d fucked and been fucked during the winter in Melbourne, but it had been a long time since anyone had been interested in kissing him. He tugged on Chris’s leg, urging him to straddle Jesse’s lap so they could kiss more easily.

“Caine is onto us,” Jesse said between kisses. “I don’t know how much he knows, but he made some pointed comments before dinner.”

“Besides telling you not to be late?”
“Yeah, about not being jealous of Neil.”
“All Neil can think about is Molly.”
“I know,” Jesse said, “but he got to spend the

“Good,” Jesse said, refusing to acknowledge the satisfaction he got from Chris’s statement. “I couldn’t decide if Caine approved or not.”

“I signed on to work at the station because it was a job and a safe place for my brother,” Chris said. “I didn’t sign over control of my life. I’m not saying we should flaunt it. I’m not stupid, and even if I were, getting the shite beaten out of me for being gay cured me of that. It feels good to have someone else’s hands on me tonight instead of my own, not that I’m getting a lot of action at the moment with my arm in this stupid cast. I haven’t got laid since Tony kicked us out.”

“You aren’t getting laid tonight either,” Jesse said with a laugh. “I don’t carry condoms in my jeans when I’m at work.”

“I’m sure we could think of something,” Chris said, his hand moving between them to cup Jesse’s cock through his jeans. “We can’t let this go to waste.”

“Be my guest.” Jesse leaned back on his elbows, giving Chris space to decide how he wanted the rest of their encounter to go. He might say he wasn’t an inexperienced kid, but Jesse would still let him set the pace.

Chris had no such hesitations, following Jesse back to kiss him far more aggressively than he’d done before. The change of mood surprised Jesse slightly, but yesterday had been romance. This was sex. Jesse was pragmatic enough to accept the difference even if he missed the sweet tenderness of their first kisses. They’d find it again when the mood was right.

When Chris fumbled one-handed with the buckle of his belt, Jesse pushed up again to help, opening his belt and pants but leaving it up to Chris what to do next. “I could have done that,” Chris said.

Chris grinned and slid down between Jesse’s knees, pushing them apart. He buried his face against Jesse’s groin and inhaled deeply. “You do want me.”

Chris didn’t reply, instead slipping his hand into Jesse’s pants to stroke him with more enthusiasm than finesse, adding to Jesse’s sense that Chris wasn’t as experienced as he claimed. He wasn’t going to argue now, though, not with Chris’s hand circling him eagerly, drawing him out of the open placket of his pants.

Chris’s mouth more than made up for his hand’s awkwardness. Maybe the problem was the left hand, not Chris’s overall experience, because Chris sucked Jesse like someone who knew what to do with a hard dick and the guy it was attached to, lingering over the tip before diving deep and then backing off to tease the slit again.

Jesse groaned and collapsed back on his elbows. It felt damn good to be touched so eagerly, and not by a random stranger but by someone who knew him, someone who cared about him at least as friends. He tugged at Chris’s hair, bringing him off the floor and up where Jesse could kiss him again and touch him as well. Chris’s hand continued the work his mouth had begun, and Jesse didn’t even mind the occasional fumble, because Chris wanted to be there with him, wanted
him
. He popped the button on Chris’s jeans, getting his hand inside so he could reciprocate some of the pleasure Chris was giving him.

Chris groaned into Jesse’s mouth, his hips jerking on the straw bale as Jesse stroked him urgently. “Shhh,” Jesse whispered in his ear. “We don’t want anyone coming to investigate any strange noises.”

Chris nodded, clearly making an effort to stifle his sounds, but as soon as Jesse touched him again, the groans started back up. Jesse smiled at the thought of making Chris feel that good. Chris’s hand stilled as Jesse worked him faster, but Jesse found he didn’t even care. He was high on the little sounds pouring from Chris’s mouth into his own. He’d get Chris off and then see to himself if Chris was too far gone to reciprocate. It just felt too good to have a hand other than his own on his body.

It didn’t take long before Chris shuddered against him with a long moan, his cock spilling all over Jesse’s hand. Jesse kept stroking through the aftershocks, stretching out Chris’s pleasure as long as he could. Eventually Chris flinched a little, letting Jesse know he’d grown overly sensitive in the aftermath of his orgasm, so Jesse let the sated organ slip from his grasp. Chris still panted against Jesse’s neck, little flutters of breath that sent shivers down Jesse’s back. He waited a moment longer, but Chris’s hand stayed still against his flesh. Jesse wanted to be patient, but the need for release was driving him hard. With a guy he’d picked up in a bar, he might have shoved the other man’s head back down to finish what he’d started, but Chris rested too trustingly in Jesse’s arms for him to do that, not this time anyway. Not when he wanted to be able to look Chris in the eye tomorrow.

Instead, he closed his hand around Chris’s, moving their fists over his shaft. Chris stirred immediately. “I’m sorry, that was selfish,” he said, his lips moving against

Chris grinned at him. “Not stopping,” he promised. Jesse let his hand drop to the side now that Chris was stroking him again. Chris’s hand felt far better than his own ever could. His release bubbled up in his balls, trying to explode out of him. He fought it back, not wanting the moment to end since he didn’t know when they’d get a chance for a repeat.

Chris wasn’t having any of that, though, biting along Jesse’s neck and jaw as he stroked faster.
“Don’t do too much of that,” Jesse moaned, “or everyone will know what we’ve been up to.”
“Do you think they’ll care?” Chris asked.
Jesse didn’t know, but he didn’t really want to find out when he didn’t know what “this” was. If they had committed to a real relationship, he’d stick to his guns and tell everyone to fuck off if they said anything, but he couldn’t risk his place at the station or the respect of the other hands for a casual fuck, and they hadn’t discussed anything more. “I’d rather not take that chance.”
Chris seemed to accept that, gentling the contact of his lips to soft kisses instead of the little nips from before, but it was still enough, combined with the increased rhythm of Chris’s stroking, to push Jesse over the edge. He grunted as he climaxed, his release splattering his T-shirt and Chris’s hand.
When the shudders eased, Jesse turned to look at Chris, only to realize darkness had fallen almost completely inside the shed and nearly as much outside. “We should probably get back,” he said, his voice laced with regret. “I don’t know if Macklin or Caine will look for you, but we don’t want to give anyone a reason to wonder what we were doing when everyone else is hanging out in the bunkhouse unwinding or already asleep. Besides, morning comes early.”
“Even earlier for me since I have to help Kami get breakfast ready,” Chris said, “and with the shearing starting, it’s extra early tomorrow.” He fumbled with his pants, his right arm at a weird angle as he worked around the cast to get his hand to the button.
“Here, let me,” Jesse said. “It’s not every day I button a guy back up. I’m usually trying to get his pants undone.”
“You can undo mine any time you like,” Chris said. “Well, any time it’s safe to do so, anyway.”
“Honestly, it’s probably safe here,” Jesse said, finishing with Chris’s pants. “Not that we want to flaunt it, necessarily, but we’re both adults, and Caine and Macklin wouldn’t keep people on who had a problem with them being together, so why should it be any different for us?”
“Because we aren’t really together?” Chris asked. “I mean, they’re the real thing. We’re just….”
“Seeing what happens,” Jesse finished, not willing to commit to more than he could give. He’d enjoyed the past half hour with Chris, but now they had to go their separate ways, each back to his own bunk, with no chance of a repeat during the night or even simply of a warm body to hold him close after a bad dream. He didn’t have nightmares like he used to, but they still surprised him occasionally, and waking up alone with cold sweat pouring off him in rivers was no fun. Having someone there to soothe the nightmare away was a rare luxury, but one he dreamed of someday enjoying. That would have to wait for another time and another man, though. Chris was fine with sex, but he wasn’t ready for the rest, and Jesse would have to respect that if he had any hope of having even the sex.
“Yeah, that,” Chris said. “I’ll see you at breakfast?”
“I’ll be there,” Jesse said, leaning in to give Chris one last kiss before they parted.

C
HRIS
walked slowly back to the station house. His arm hurt a little from leaning on it awkwardly, and his ribs ached a little from twisting to kiss Jesse, but the rest of his body felt incredible: loose, free, relaxed for the first time in months. Sex with Jesse was definitely an added bonus to life on Lang Downs. Happiness bubbled up inside him as he stepped onto the veranda. He could go inside, head upstairs, and hope he could get to his room in time to enjoy the moment in private, but Caine and Macklin often sat in the living room in the evenings, and Seth would want to talk about his schoolwork or about his afternoon with Jason or about whatever else popped into his head. Deciding to wait a little longer before facing them, he sat down on one of the rough-hewn wooden chairs on the veranda and rested his head against the headrest.

The afternoon had gone a long way toward easing his concerns about what life might be like long term at Lang Downs. He and Kami had developed a functioning relationship, but Chris didn’t really see himself spending the rest of his life working in a kitchen. He managed under the circumstances, but it wasn’t something that interested him. He could do it well enough to help Kami out, but he wouldn’t want to be the one responsible for all the meals. If Caine and Macklin had him in mind as Kami’s successor for the day when the cook decided he was ready to retire, they’d need to think again.

The door opened behind him, interrupting his thoughts. He tensed a little when Macklin came out and sat down in the chair next to him. He didn’t want to share the lingering afterglow with anyone.

Macklin didn’t say anything beyond a simple greeting for a long time. Long enough for Chris to relax. “I like sitting out here in the evenings,” Macklin said finally. “It’s very relaxing.”

“It is,” Chris replied, not sure where the conversation was heading, but he saw no harm in agreeing.
“Sometimes Caine will join me, but tonight he’s fighting with a distributor over organic seed,” Macklin continued. “We’re going to grow our own hay as part of the organic certification process, and that requires an initial crop of organic seed. The distributor quoted one price, but now that it’s time for delivery, he’s quoting something else.”
“That must be frustrating.”
“He’ll deal with it,” Macklin said. “He’s amazing that way. People look at him, hear his American accent and his stutter, and they assume they know all there is to know about him. They have no idea how wrong they are.”
Chris nodded, hearing the affection in Macklin’s words. “He’s really special to you, isn’t he?”
“He’s it for me,” Macklin replied. “I’d given up on the idea of finding someone, anyone, out here in the outback, and then there he was, perfect and stubborn and shy and so determined to make a life here. It took me a while to believe it, to believe in him, but he’s a force of nature, even if he doesn’t see it.”
Chris wasn’t sure what to say, so he let the silence fall between them again, Macklin’s words echoing in his head, or maybe not the words so much as the way he spoke of Caine, the absolute assurance that Caine was his… his everything. He wasn’t sure he’d ever heard that confidence from any of the adults in his life before, even when he was younger, and to hear it now from, of all people, half of the one gay couple he knew left him reeling internally. By whatever miracle or twist of fate, Macklin had found his partner and had the courage to hold onto him. Chris could only hope he’d be so lucky someday.
“How are you settling in?” Macklin asked. “Has Kami got used to having you around yet?”
“I suppose,” Chris said with a shrug that didn’t hurt nearly as much as it would have a few weeks ago. “He hasn’t killed me yet.”
“That’s a good start,” Macklin said with a chuckle. “I heard you learned a bit about herding sheep today.”
“Yeah,” Chris said, trying not to think about why he’d spent the afternoon with Neil instead of Jesse and all that had transpired since. It was dark enough Macklin wouldn’t be able to see him blush, but the foreman had a knack for knowing everything, it seemed, and Chris would rather not give Macklin any hint of his personal business.
“You aren’t overdoing it, are you?”
“I’m not a kid,” Chris protested automatically.
“I wasn’t implying you were,” Macklin said, his voice as unruffled as ever. “I’m not your father, to tell you what to do, but I am your boss, and as such, your ability to do your job is my concern. If you set back your recovery by overdoing, it affects me. If you tell me you’re fine, I’m going to believe you unless you prove to me otherwise, but I expect you to tell me the truth, just like I expect all my jackaroos to tell me the truth where their jobs are concerned.”
“I’m doing better,” Chris replied, Macklin’s frank words settling him and allowing him to reply with the honesty Macklin had demanded. “My ribs still hurt if I reach for something too far away, but I can twist some now and bend as much as the wrapping lets me. I guess my broken arm is healing, although I don’t have any way to tell. It doesn’t hurt, so that’s something, although it itches like mad.”
“Put talcum powder inside the cast as much as you can,” Macklin suggested. “It won’t stop the itching completely, but it’s about the only thing that helps.”
“I don’t think I have any,” Chris said. “It’s not something I use very often.”
“You’ll want it this summer,” Macklin said. “Put it in your shoes to help the smell, in the seam of your pants to keep them from chafing in the heat. There’s some in the small kitchen. We can pick up more the next time we go to Boorowa for supplies.”
“When is the next trip?” Chris asked, thinking about what he and Jesse hadn’t done in the shed tonight. “I’ve thought of a few more things I should probably pick up now that I’m earning a little money again.”
“We go into town about once a month,” Macklin said. “If you give me a list, I can pick things up for you.”
Chris blushed furiously, his cheeks burning in the cool night air. “Um, it’s personal stuff. I should probably pick it up myself if I can tag along.”
Macklin chuckled and stood up, opening the door before turning back. “There’s nothing wrong with letting off a little steam now and then as long as both people are willing. Just make sure you both know what you’re doing.”
“We didn’t, I mean, it’s none, I mean….”
“I didn’t ask for an explanation,” Macklin reminded him. “You’re an adult and so is Jesse, if that’s who you were with, and if it’s not, as long as whoever it was is also an adult, it’s none of my business, as you said, but don’t turn my station into a war zone because you can’t keep it in your pants and aren’t mature enough to handle the consequences.”
“I can handle it.”
“Good. Make sure you keep it that way.”