Cherry (33 page)

But that's not how life worked.

Life had to be lived forward. And it all had to happen exactly the way that it did or she may not have found herself here, in this moment, with her best friends and a brand-new frozen yogurt flavor. After the girls finished, Zoe threw the Austin shoe box in the trash can in the parking lot of The Bigg Chill, but she made sure to hold on to the red carnation. She put it on the passenger seat next to her and drove toward Dylan's house. She blasted his mix CD as loud as she could and turned what might've been a twenty minute ride across the city of Los Angeles and into the valley into a two hour drive. There was still so much that Zoe didn't
know, but right now she knew she needed this time and this space and most of all she needed this music.

She pulled up in front of Dylan's house and turned off the car's engine, but she left the key in the ignition so she could listen to the end of the last song on the mix: Jimmy Eat World's “Sweetness.” It was Dylan's all-time favorite song, and one of Zoe's, too. Even after the song ended, the last lyric—“with a little sweet and simple numbing me”—still continued to ring in her head as she sat in the front seat, trying to build up the courage to get out and go talk to Dylan . . .

And then . . .

After two minutes of sitting in silence.

After two full minutes of getting lost in her thoughts and her feelings and holding out hope that Dylan might just telepathically realize she was sitting outside and come open the front door.

. . . another song started to play.

Zoe had been listening to Dylan's mix CD on repeat for weeks. She had heard every song on it
at least
a hundred times. But, up until this moment, she'd always started the CD over again immediately once it ended. She'd never thought to wait for something more—why would she? There was no way she could've known there was a secret song,
but
then again, maybe she didn't need to know about this song until this very moment. It was a “God Bless the Broken Road” cover by Rascal Flatts. Zoe had heard the song so many times before but never quite like this.

Now it all made sense.

And now, as the song ended, Zoe knew that the timing was finally right.

She'd had feelings for Dylan since that first day they got paired up in Chem class. But those original emotions—that first crush or attraction or whatever it was—couldn't even begin to compete with the layered and complex love she felt for him now. Her feelings were real . . . but she needed the whole entire broken road to get here.

Now all Zoe had to do was get out of the car. And ring Dylan's doorbell.

So she did.

And he answered and invited her inside. He wasn't expecting her, but he wasn't all that surprised to see her either. They made their way down the hallway into his room. It was all dark blue and plaid. Lots of trophies and sports memorabilia on the walls. She looked at Dylan's bed and tried to count how many times she might've heard his voice from it.

“Why didn't you tell me about the carnation?” Zoe asked.

“Why did you pick up the phone that night?” Dylan smirked.

“Ohmigod . . .” Zoe rolled her eyes. “‘God bless the broken road,' I guess,” she added with a bit of a laugh, which felt like it answered both of their questions at the same time.

“You found it.”

“Took me long enough.”

“I wanted to tell you, but then that ruins the secret.”

“It's not really a secret anymore,” Zoe said, talking about so much more than the song.

And then finally—
finally
—after all their phonefalls, after all the thousands or maybe even millions of words they'd exchanged . . . there were only four more that Zoe wanted to say:

“I love you, too.”

Dylan pulled Zoe in close for the kind of first kiss she'd (literally) been dreaming about for oh-so-long. Then they moved to Dylan's bed and kept kissing and kissing and
kissing
until Dylan finally found the courage to move his hands from Zoe's back . . . and onto her boobs.

Zoe laughed.

It wasn't a nervous giggle.

It was a big, rich, full body kind of laugh that made her boobs jiggle in Dylan's hands.

“Ohmigod,” he said through kisses, the way Zoe always did. “I've wanted to do that for-
ever
.”

“Okay, but I've only had them for like four months,” she teased.

“What. Ever. Feels like forever,” he teased back.

For the first time, their “for real” in person conversation felt like it did when they spoke on the phone. Zoe kissed Dylan again. And again and again. And even though they'd only been doing that for about four
minutes
it felt like forever, too, but in the best possible way. They spent the next couple of hours rolling around on his bed, laughing and teasing and talking and kissing some more. . . until Zoe had to leave so she wouldn't be late for curfew.

She sang along to “Sweetness,” on repeat, all the way home.

She got ready for bed as quickly as she could and then called Dylan like he made her promise she would before she left his house. And he picked up on the first ring. And they talked for another hour or two—or tonight it might've even been
three
—until they both managed to fall asleep . . . together.

EMMA
had taken more pictures in her lifetime than she could count.

She couldn't even count how many she'd taken in the last five months, which was proving to be a bit of a problem, as she'd gotten the idea in her head that it was time to develop all of them. She needed them. But right now, staring at the filmstrips in the darkroom, it seemed like an overwhelming task.

Thankfully, there was a knock on the door.

“Em?” Nick asked. “You in there?”

Emma's lips curled into a smile as she was transported back to the memory of the last time she had heard Nick knock on the door of the darkroom . . . and all the fireworks that followed. She opened the door, still smiling. She knew she didn't have to explain why. She could tell by the look on his face that he remembered too.

“
Thank you for agreeing to help me . . .”

“You. Are. Welcome.” Nick laughed. “Last time you asked me for help, I offered you my penis, so I figured it couldn't be any more awkward than that.”

“Hopefully this won't be awkward at all,” Emma said as Nick walked across the small room and slid up next to her. “But I have the strongest sense of déjà vu.”

“My mom says that having a feeling of déjà vu means you're exactly where you're supposed to be,” Nick explained.

“I love that,” Emma said, feeling the truth in Nick's words. They were so simple and also so profound. Emma's thoughts drifted back to the very first time she met Savannah in the yearbook room, and she remembered the sense of déjà vu that had washed over her then. Of course, at the time, things were just starting to fall into place, but they were clearly already aligning themselves in the right direction. Now Emma was more clearly rooted in this time and place—but all of it just felt right. Weirdly right. Emma was so present and so in the moment. Thankfully the “right now” was all she could think about . . . but she did her best not to
over
think it for once.

She was just in it.

Emma had learned that moments like this one were fleeting. But she'd also learned that every once in a while, if you trusted the process and let things develop, everything would fall into place.

It wouldn't
stay
in place—not for very long anyway—but at least it would balance for a moment. And then the
next moment of balance required more movement.

And so on.

And so forth.

Emma and Nick spent the rest of the afternoon in the darkroom, developing pictures. For the first time in the longest time, Emma felt like she was really truly getting somewhere—and it was exactly where she wanted to be.

ALEX
was still in the same place she'd been many times before . . .

In a galaxy far, far away, watching
The Empire Strikes Back
with Max.

Her phone buzzed. It was a text from Joey, unsurprisingly.

What are you doing?

Alex was relieved he didn't ask what she was wearing this time. Being with her girls was one thing, but she would not have humored him like that while she was sitting on the couch with her brother watching her favorite Star Wars movie.

Joey said
The Empire Strikes Back
was his favorite Star Wars movie too.

I love it
, he texted.

The word “love” jumped out at her.

There had been
endless
text messages sent between
them, but no one had dropped an actual “love” bomb yet. Normally, Alex would've waited and played some sort of game to make sure that Joey was the one who said—or typed—it first. But Alex was tired of playing. This—­whatever this was exactly with Joey—felt so much more real than that.

I love YOU,
she typed.

She watched as the message was delivered.

She knew he had seen it.

She waited for a response.

And waited.

And waited . . .

. . . until she felt so incredibly stupid that she decided she might never send Joey Reed a text message ever again. Honestly, she might never send
anyone
a text message ever again in her entire life.
In fact
, just as she was about to decide to give up her cell phone altogether and become a monk and live by herself on the top of a mountain, out of the middle of nowhere, Joey texted back . . .

I know
.

Five letters. Two words. One period.

THAT'S
HIS RESPONSE?! she thought. I say
I love you
and he says
I know?
Alex was about to lose it and throw her phone across the room . . . when, as if on cue, Max pointed to the TV screen and said, “I know.”

“What?” Alex asked as she looked up from her phone.

Max's words had sounded like an echo of the thoughts in her head, but they weren't about her at all. Max's eyes were glued to the screen. To the movie. To his favorite scene.

“I love this part,” he
said. And Alex watched along with Max as Princess Leia turned to Han Solo to tell him that she loved him, and then—then!—Han Solo responded with his perfectly infuriating, incredibly classic line: “
I know
.”

Alex's heart burst inside her chest, filling her entire body with an incredible amount of warmth. It was as if she could feel Joey winking at her through the phone.

Thank you, Han Solo
, she texted back as quickly as she could.

Ugh!
Joey responded, including that well placed exclamation point.

You're perfect
, he added, this time without any punctuation.

And then he added:
I love you too.

Alex noted the period at the end of that last text.

Joey Reed and his stupid periods, she thought.

Right now, she even loved those, too.

  *  *  *  

ZOE
picked up the phone on the first ring. “What's wrong?” she asked.

“Well hello,” Joey laughed.

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn't I be okay?”

“'Cause you never
just
call me. Only if something's wrong or you're trying to find me in a crowd.”

“Okay, well, I'm not
just
calling, but . . . don't be mad.”

“Uh-oh . . .”

“No, no. It's fine. It's
good
actually—”

“Joey. You are killing me right now—”

“
I kissed Alex when I was home for spring break.”

“Excuse me?” Zoe asked, her voice squeaking.

“I kissed her in my bedroom the night of your sleepover, and then I kissed her all night, the next night, in her bedroom.”

“I don't even understand what you're saying right now,” Zoe said.

Joey explained that there had been a lot of kissing between them. And now, ever since then, there'd also been a lot of texting. And Alex wanted to tell Zoe what had happened right away so as to avoid lying or anything, but they had both decided it was better to wait and not say anything official until they were sure that the whole thing was worth talking about.

“We wanted to make sure it was real.”

“Okay . . . ,” Zoe said, still trying to put all the pieces together. “So. Is this your way of telling me that it's real?”

“Very real,” Joey said after a bit of a pause.

“Oh my God, wow,” Zoe said. But not in her usual freak-out kind of way. The words were slow and deliberate. “You're in love with my best friend.”

“I am . . . ,” he said with a happy exhale. “She's in love with me too.” Zoe could hear the smile in Joey's voice, but then her mind started to wander—back through the last few weeks, replaying all of her moments with Alex in her head—and all of a sudden her thoughts found their way to The Bigg Chill and the group sext message conversation three weeks ago and all she could say was . . .

“Wow.”

“
Uh oh. You sound like you're about three seconds away from freaking out on me . . .”

“No. I'm . . .
ohmigod
 . . .” Zoe started to laugh.

“I knew it . . . ,” Joey said, mistaking Zoe's laughter for a meltdown.

Really, it was just the realization that her brother—
OHMIGOD
HER BROTHER—was the J they had all been texting with on Alex's phone that afternoon.

Despite the awkwardness Zoe had a feeling they would all laugh about this together one day, but she said she'd let Alex fill him in on the details.