China Lake (24 page)

I didn’t know about that.

‘‘She goes to homeless shelters and even out on the streets talking to these girls. And it
works
. She gets these street kids to come to church, offering hot food and a warm place to sleep, and promising not to contact the police—’’

‘‘Or their pimp,’’ Kevin said.

‘‘Or that. Ever. She lets these girls know they’ll be safe. It’s wonderful. Course, lots of them drift away, you know, not liking the discipline, but some stay. Like Glory Moffett.’’

‘‘Chenille’s pound puppy.’’

Alicia said, ‘‘Kev, that isn’t nice.’’

I sat back, taking this in.

‘‘But after a while,’’ Alicia said, ‘‘things got weird.’’

They looked at each other, deciding where to start. After a moment Kevin said, ‘‘Pastor Pete had problems with dirt.’’ Sour smile. ‘‘He thought the whole world was filthy.’’

‘‘He had a germ phobia,’’ Alicia said. ‘‘You ever notice his hands, how they were all red and sore? That’s because he couldn’t leave the house if he didn’t wash them twelve times. And his sermons—it was always germs, germs, germs. They were the devil’s handiwork, or else God’s vengeance. That’s why he made everybody protest at these AIDS funerals. He was obsessed.’’

Kevin said, ‘‘Tell her about the gifts.’’

‘‘Oh. People in the church were expected to manifest a gift of the Holy Spirit. Parents were supposed to watch for it in their children.’’

‘‘What sort of gifts?’’ I said.

Kevin crossed his arms. ‘‘Like singing, or marksmanship. ’’ I raised an eyebrow, and he said, ‘‘Yeah. Pastor Pete liked the showbiz gifts, but Chenille and Ice Paxton, they favored kids that showed a knack for survival skills.’’ His loose smile was gone. ‘‘At church one week, this ten-year-old gets up and fieldstrips an M-sixteen. I’m thinking, ‘Whoa, this ain’t kosher.’ ’’

Alicia’s hands were turning white, clenching each other. ‘‘But Karina, you know, with her cerebral palsy, she . . .’’ She stopped, looking strained.

I said, ‘‘You found out how Pastor Pete felt about people with disabilities.’’

‘‘No,’’ Alicia said, ‘‘not then, or we would have gotten out right away. No, people were really being caring toward Karina. Like Curt Smollek used to joke around with her, and Chenille, she called Karina her ‘little lamb.’ ’’

Kevin said, ‘‘What happened, I got stupid and asked Paxton about this kid showing off with the M-sixteen. I tell him I believe in self-defense, but where does the Bible talk about riflery skills being a gift of the Spirit? Oh, man. Did he ever give me what-for. He says, ‘If you’re having doubts it means Satan has invaded your mind.’ ’’

He took out a pack of cigarettes, asking if it bothered me. I shook my head.

‘‘Then Chenille comes by in her big red choir robe, looking like
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
, and Paxton gets her in on the act. Kevin’s having qualms, he says. And she says I better stop listening to the devil, and start watching for my own daughter’s gift to manifest. And zoom, we’re off to the Twilight Zone.’’

He lit up. ‘‘She tells me to watch close, ’cause Karina’s gift won’t be flashy. Well, big duh, flashy is the Brueghel triplets with their gift of baton twirling, and Karina drives a power wheelchair. So Chenille gives some examples, herself the biggie, gift of prophecy, but there’s also Glory—she has the gift of submission, a humble gift but still very valuable. And Paxton says, ‘Hold on, submission isn’t a gift; it’s a product of discipline. ’ He’s talking
gifts
, and he’s thinking Karina may be given the power of discerning spirits, or the interpretation of tongues; those would be useful to him as head of church security. Like she could spot demons in a crowd, or decipher secret codes.’’

He flicked ashes into his empty soda can. ‘‘They scared me into shutting up.’’ Shaking his head, he said, ‘‘Head of security. I mean, come on, when did you ever hear of a church had a security department, outside of maybe the Vatican?’’

He stared at his hands. ‘‘Plus, if he was head of security, where was he the night Pastor Pete got killed?’’

It was a good question. I said, ‘‘What do you think?’’

‘‘Honestly? I think he got sloppy. I think he was tired of Pastor Pete and his antics, and maybe let down his guard. He didn’t like these protests the pastor planned, said publicity only drew the attention of the feds.’’

‘‘He talked about that? Openly?’’

‘‘I overheard it doing some carpentry work at the church. I hear Paxton complaining to Chenille, saying, ‘It’s time to take the active hand and get down to business.’ ’’

I heard a clock ticking. ‘‘What business?’’

‘‘Don’t know.’’

‘‘Do you have any ideas?’’

‘‘Chenille, I think she had it in her mind to change the way the church was run.’’ He shrugged, indicating this was conjecture. ‘‘She told Paxton to cool his jets. Went, ‘let Pete be the public face of the Remnant.’ The way she said it, it sounded like other stuff was going on behind the scenes.’’

‘‘What stuff?’’

We sat, listening to the clock tick.

Kevin said, ‘‘Well, Pastor Pete and his missus wasn’t getting along so hot.’’

His face was heating up, and Alicia’s eyes were shimmering. I sensed that they felt a desperate urge to talk about the Remnant, even to a stranger. I let him roll.

‘‘Chenille and Pete was having differences. Marital and theological. See, Pete, he was a fire-breather, but Chenille, she thinks she’s a prophet.’’

Alicia said, ‘‘She has dreams. And visions.’’

Kevin crossed his legs. His foot started jittering. ‘‘What do you know about Chenille’s background?’’

‘‘Nothing.’’

‘‘Hold on to your butt,’’ he said. ‘‘She was a hooker.’’

My lips parted in surprise.

‘‘And a junkie.’’

I said, ‘‘This is for real?’’

‘‘Oh, yeah,’’ he said. ‘‘She used to work out of this club downtown, supposedly being an exotic dancer, but you know. Guy from work remembered her; she had this act where she sprayed whipped cream on herself, like a bikini, and the customers would lick it off.’’

That, I knew, was an image I’d be seeing in my bad dreams.

Alicia said, ‘‘She never hid it. Pastor Pete mentioned it in his sermons—about Jesus bringing Chenille to the Remnant to be cleansed in the blood of the lamb.’’

‘‘Except I don’t think he believed it. I think he still thought she was
filthy
,’’ Kevin said. ‘‘He and the wife would act chilly toward each other, and then, wham. Sex rules.’’

Alicia blushed.

‘‘He’d go on a tear and order married couples to abstain from sex.’’ He snorted. ‘‘Right. I hear that, I’m thinking ‘
hello
—we know you ain’t gettin’ any, buster.’ ’’ He turned to Alicia. ‘‘Tell her about the women’s weekend.’’

‘‘Oh. We had a retreat out at this place in the desert.’’

I said, ‘‘Angels’ Landing.’’

‘‘Yeah. A real dump. Chenille held this ‘deep teaching’ session one night around the campfire. And let me tell you, it was spooky stuff.’’ She exhaled. ‘‘She talked about motherhood during the Tribulation, when the Antichrist ascends to power and believers are persecuted. She said Christians were going to have to go on the run, and we’d need to travel light ’cause we’d be carrying out hit-and-run raids. She was talking about the Remnant being a guerrilla army.’’

I said, ‘‘Lock and load.’’

‘‘Exactly. She quoted from scripture, about the end—how when it starts you have to get out on the double, and how Jesus said, ‘And alas for those who are with child and for those who give suck in those days!’ And she said that’s why her humiliation was really a blessing from God.’’

‘‘Humiliation?’’

‘‘She can’t have children. Back when she was unsaved she got chlamydia, and it made her sterile. She thought it was her punishment for being a prostitute.’’

She started fiddling with her wedding ring. ‘‘For a long time she prayed to be healed—she was desperate for a child—but finally she saw that being barren was a gift. Her shame was her strength. ‘Alas for those who are with child.’ But see, she would never be with child, so she could devote herself totally to the fight.’’

She looked at me. ‘‘Chenille said it was destiny. She was prophesied to lead the resistance against the Antichrist. That’s when I saw that her ego was out of whack, when she thought the Bible was talking about her, personally.’’

I started to speak. Kevin said, ‘‘Wait, it gets better.’’

Alicia twirled her wedding ring. Her pupils were large. ‘‘By now I had goose bumps. We’re around this fire, it’s pitch-black, we can hear animals squeaking and slithering out there in the dark, and Chenille tells us the time is near, signs are everywhere, the storm’s coming. She gets real intense and says it’s up to us. Jesus can’t do it alone; we have got to take the active hand.’’

Active hand. I felt itchy again, didn’t speak, didn’t want Alicia to say what she was going to say.

She leaned forward. ‘‘She was telling us we were going to kick it off.’’

I said, ‘‘The end.’’

She nodded. ‘‘She said the Lord was growing impatient. He was tired of waiting. We were going to have to get biblical, and soon.’’

Kevin said, ‘‘I’ll tell you who’s tired of waiting; it’s Chenille, and Ice Paxton, all them people in the Remnant with their pitiful little lives, crazy to feel like somebody.’’

I said, ‘‘She actually told you that the Remnant is going to flip the switch on Doomsday?’’

‘‘She didn’t use those words, but she laid a hand on my arm and said, ‘Alicia, it’s gonna be toughest for you, ’cause you know there is no way on God’s green earth Karina will be able to go where you got to go, or do what you got to do.’ I just sat there in shock. And she quotes scripture again—how the sun will be darkened and the stars will be falling from heaven. I’m thinking, ‘So?’ My God, did she think I’d walk away from my baby, go out and start blowing things up or whatever . . . ?’’

She pressed her fingers to her eyes. ‘‘By the time we got home I had hives. I was a total wreck.’’

I said, ‘‘Is that when you quit the church?’’

‘‘No.’’ She looked at the floor, and at Kevin, and finally at me. ‘‘I know it sounds crazy now. But Chenille had been so kind. She always prayed for Karina, and wanted to know if she was improving. She even asked if the doctors were up on the latest therapies, you know, saying some of these new drugs might help. . . . It warmed my heart. I thought she was truly compassionate. That with her past and all, she understood tough times.’’

She looked at me, desperate for empathy, clearly hoping I didn’t regard her as a total fool.

She said, ‘‘I went to Pastor Pete. I thought he could counsel me, explain what Chenille had said in some . . . logical light.’’

Kevin got up, went to stare out the window at the smoke-burnished sky.

‘‘But Pastor Pete confirmed everything Chenille had said, and more. He told me God had chosen me to make this sacrifice, to make up for my past sins.’’

‘‘Sacrifice,’’ Kevin said. ‘‘My little girl, he meant.’’

Alicia’s face was tight with anger. ‘‘He said it was obvious I had some big repenting to do. He told me in my past I must have been dirty. That’s the word he used,
dirty
. That’s why Karina was born ‘defective.’ ’’

Kevin turned around. ‘‘And that, you better believe, is when we got the hell out of there.’’

The smoke from his cigarette languished in the air, almost as thick as their hurt and unease. I didn’t know what to say. Then a small yellow school bus pulled up outside. Alicia’s face cleared and she hopped up, saying, ‘‘Good, you’ll get to meet Karina.’’ I stood up, too, and said I’d taken enough of their time. I walked outside with them to the bus.

The driver was working an electric lift, lowering Karina’s wheelchair to the curb. Karina wore jeans, Reeboks, and a bright pink knit top like her mother’s. In her brunette hair she had a dozen tiny hair clips that looked like gently roosting butterflies. She waved jerkily when she saw her parents.

Kevin said, ‘‘Hey, silly puss,’’ and Alicia kissed her, asking how school was. Karina rolled her head and worked her mouth to say, ‘‘Good.’’ They introduced me as a friend who was visiting. Karina eyed me brightly. After a minute Alicia told me good-bye, saying, ‘‘I hope this has been helpful,’’ and Kevin walked me to my car.

He watched them go inside. ‘‘Couple more things I wanted to tell you, out of Alicia’s earshot. She don’t need to get more upset than she already is. What she said about those people at the church who cared for Karina? By the end, I didn’t buy a bit of it. That guy Curt Smollek, he creeped me out in a major way.’’ He made a face. ‘‘You ever seen a kid who liked to pull the wings off bugs? That’s what Smollek reminded me of.’’

I grimaced.

‘‘Yeah, really. And Chenille Wyoming. Alicia liked her ’cause Chenille overcame so much, and always acted gentle with her. But let me tell you, Chenille was not so gentle with other people. I seen her smack the baton twirlers in the face for messing up their routine.’’ He crossed his arms. ‘‘She’s totally two-faced. That stuff about going on the run, traveling light—well, she’s a junk-food junkie. Tell me how she’s gonna conduct hit-and-run raids carting Cheetos and Reddi-Wip everywhere she goes. And’’—he looked toward the house—‘‘I think she’s still on drugs.’’

‘‘Seriously?’’

‘‘Just before we quit the church, she asked me to do her a favor. The next time I took Karina to the neurologist, could I get her some supplies.’’

‘‘Narcotics?’’

‘‘Yeah. I shut her down, said absolutely no way. She kept wheedling me, saying it’s not wrong if it’s for the greater good, that she couldn’t get them herself because she was being watched by the government. Total crap. Not only was she still doping, but she was fixing it so I’m the one who gets caught if anything goes wrong. Greater good—right. That whole church is a sick bunch of phonies.’’

‘‘I’m sorry it turned out so badly for you.’’