Choose Wisely (7 page)

             
“Fuck you Darius! Go get my kids!”

She tried to get pass me and go up the stairs. I grabbed both of her
wrists.

             
“Get off me! You’re hurting me!” She yelled.

I let go before I did something I would
regret later. I had never felt so vexed in all my life. This woman really wanted me to hurt her. I stepped back and tightly squeezed my banister to release my frustration. I gritted my teeth as I said my next statement;

             
“You need to go now. The girls are sleep and I’m not waking them up. I think its best you go now before things get out of hand,”

She fixed her clothes and snatched her purse off the couch.

              “You can say what you want. But I will be back for my girls,”

I closed door behind her and said a quick prayer.

“Thank you God! I know if it wasn’t for you. I would have really hurt that girl!”

I was
tired; I checked on the girls one last time and headed for bed. Something had to be done about Trina and soon I thought.

             
I woke up feeling sick to my stomach. I guess my body wasn’t use to drinking such strong alcohol. I made a mental note never to let Tyrone order my drinks for me. I dragged my tired body out of bed. I looked in the mirror my eyes were red and puffy. I lugged myself down the hall to David’s room. He was still asleep. He was my pride and joy. I had him two years after I started community college. I knew my father was disappointed when I told him I was pregnant and not married. He wanted me to finish college. I explained to him I could still go to school and raise my son. I actually planned on going back to school in the fall for communications.

             
I kissed David on the forehead. We had a few hours before church, so I decided to let him sleep. My son was so handsome. I had to admit he looked a lot like his father David senior. His father was in the army and married. We started dating our senior year in high school. He claimed he’d always had a crush on me but he never approached me until Darius got locked up. For some reason a lot of guys stayed away from me back then. I guess they assumed me and Darius had more going on back then, than we actually had.

             
I dated David’s father for a little over two years. We broke up right after my son was born. His father wanted to get married, but I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to be with someone just because I had a baby. I loved him but I was never really in love with him. I remember our last fight like it was yesterday. We had just come home from a nice dinner. He got down on one knee and asked for my hand in marriage

             
I was so shocked, I couldn’t speak. I remember balling like a baby. He asked me what was wrong. That’s when I broke his heart. I told him I wasn’t ready to make such a big commitment. He said we didn’t have to get married right away. I knew I had to be truthful. I didn’t love him the way he loved me. I told him he deserved to be with someone who not only loved him but was in love with him. Right after those words, he lost it. He pulled an envelope out of his back pocket, and started waving it in my face.

             
“Is this why you won’t marry me? I’ve been nothing but good to you! We have a son together! I guess that doesn’t matter huh?”

I was confused. I tried to snatch the envelope. But he held it high in the air so I couldn’t reach it. I had never seen him like
that he was scaring me. I ran in Little David’s room to check on him. He was still sleeping. I went back in the living room to try to talk some sense into his father.

             
“David you need to calm down, before you wake the baby,”

He started pacing around the living room without saying a word. When he fin
ally spoke; his words would change my life forever. He looked at me with such hurt in his eyes.

             
“You know what, you’re right. I deserve someone who wants to be with me. Not a woman who doesn’t appreciate a good man when she has one. He grabbed his keys and headed towards our son’s room. I followed him, to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid like try to take the baby. Instead he picked him up and rubbed his head. I will never forget his words.

             
“Hey son, I want you to know I will always love you. But I have to go for a while. I will always be a part of your life. I just need time to find me,” he took a deep sigh.

             
“This is not easy for me. I wanted us to be a family. But I don’t think that’s possible. I love you Junior always and forever. He kissed him on the cheek and placed him back in his crib. I hurried and sat on the couch. I didn’t want him to know I was listening to him. At this point he couldn’t even look me in the face.

             
“I will have someone come for my things. You really need to be honest with yourself. You will never love anyone until you admit your true feelings for him,”

He
threw the envelope at me and walked out the door. It was a letter from Darius in prison. Back then I thought David’s father was crazy. But now I wondered if I subconsciously had feelings for Darius back then that I wasn’t even aware of. Well it didn’t matter now I thought. Whatever romantic feelings I had for him were gone. We were strictly friends and it was going to stay that way.

             
I smiled as I wiped the dust off the picture of David, his father, and his new wife. It was sitting in a wooden frame on his nightstand next to his bed. I was happy with the decision I had made not marrying my son’s father. Looking at the picture, I could tell David Senior was happy too. I strongly believed God would one day; send me the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.

             
I observed my son’s Sesame Street Elmo Alarm Clock. He still had about an hour before he needed to get up. He was such a good boy. I decided to make his favorite breakfast, pancakes and beef bacon. The smell of the food must have awakened him. Because the bacon was only frying in the pan for five minutes before I saw his beautiful face staring at me.

             
“Good morning mommy!”

             
“Good morning son. How did you sleep?”

He rubbed his eyes with his tiny hands.

              “I slept good, I dreamed I was fishing with daddy and Darius!”

He always got so excited when he talked about his father and Darius. I wasn’t surprised they both p
layed a major role in his life. I fixed his plate and placed it on the table.

             
“That’s nice. Did you catch any fish in your dream?”

He sat and place
d his head down on the table.

             
“No I didn’t catch anything,” he sadly announced.

I gave him a pat on the back and told him it was okay. I reminded him it was only a dream, and he would catch
hundreds of fish the next time he went fishing. He smiled and waved for me to come closer. I bent down to see what he wanted.

             
He whispered in my ear and said, “I love you mommy!”

I kissed him on the cheek.

              “I love you too. Now eat your food before it gets cold,”

             
After eating breakfast with David I ran him some bath water and ironed our clothes. He got dressed and went in the living room to watch television until I was ready. We were about to head out the door when I heard my house phone ring. I was already running late so I didn’t answer. Whoever it was would have to leave a message. My father taught me early on, that no one was more important than the Lord.

             
I was relieved when I stepped into the church. I was happy I wasn’t too late. The praise and worship team were still standing in front of the congregation singing and the church was full of the spirit. One of the usher pointed for me and David to sit behind my father. I gave my dad a hug from behind and took my seat. Junior made his way around the pew to sit with is grandpa. I noticed Sandy sitting behind the praise team, with the choir smiling at me. I knew she was happy it was me late for once instead of her.

             
Pastor Harris was delivering a strong message. His discussion was about men needing a strong woman.

“
The mate a man picks will either lead him to his destiny or his downfall. Basically a man that does not have a woman pushing him to the top will have a chic driving him straight to the bottom. We sometimes as humans will manipulate a situation to fit our needs. We bend the rules to fit our will. The only problem is it’s not Gods will. So now we’re stuck asking God why? Genius chapter twenty-four Abraham prayed that God would send his son a wife. He didn’t want just any wife. He wanted the right one. He wanted someone who would push him to his destiny. He knew his son was special. In today’s world we need to pray for our sons and daughters. Pray that they find the right mate. Too many people are content with having a boyfriend or a girlfriend, instead of a husband or wife,”

             
Pastor Harris went onto say;

             
“It’s sad that in today’s society marriage is not a goal or principal that we live by. Today too many people are happy with just playing house. Ladies and gentlemen, this is not what God wants for us. We need to start making some changes here and now. I’m seeing parents who are coddling their sons and discipline their daughters. Girls our cleaning the house and the sons are sitting around playing video games. Little girls are playing with dolls thinking about one day getting married, and we’re too afraid to let our son’s play house, let alone play with dolls. We’re raising our boys and girls with two different set of principles. Folks we need to start making better choices. This message is not just for our future generation. We all need to start choosing wisely today!”

             
I felt like the message was specially delivered for me. I stood closed my eyes, and put my hands in the air to give glory to God! I felt something pulling on my dress. I opened my eyes to find David kneeling in the pew by my feet. He was mouthing the words he had to pee. I was happy I was sitting on the end. I took his hand and led him to the restroom.

             
“Mommy, can I please have something to drink?”

I searched through my bag and found a small juice box.
He smiled expecting me to hand him his drink.

             
“Not here in the bathroom. You can drink it in the lobby?”

He smiled and took my hand. I loved this little boy so much. Wh
ile we walked back to the lobby, I thought back to what Pastor Harris preached earlier. David was only three. But I was going to pray that he found a wife one day. One who would love and support him as much as I did. I was also thankful his father was a God fearing man. I had no doubt he would teach him what it meant to be a good husband when the time came.

             
We made it back to the lobby. I told David to have a seat and drink his juice. I peeked inside the chapel. Pastor Harris was giving his final prayer, before service was over. I sat next to my son and waited for Sandy and my dad in the lobby. It was our family tradition to have dinner after church every Sunday. It was Sandy’s turn to pick the restaurant; I hoped she’d pick a buffet because I was starving.

             
David ran to my sister, as soon as her and my father came through the doors.

“You sang good auntie!”

Sandy picked him up and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

             
“Thank you nephew, but it wasn’t just me singing,”

             
“I know but I liked you best!”

             
“Are you just saying that so I can pick
McDonald’s for dinner today?”

He laughed.

              “No auntie!”

She put him down and rubbed her hands together.

              ‘Ok good because I made my choice. I decided on
Fire Mountain
,”

I liked her choice but the drive was too far.

              “I hope you’re driving,” I stated.

Fire Mountain
was a buffet, but it was in another town at least twenty-five minutes away.

             
“Daddy said he would drive,” she informed.

Great I thought.

Now that would be an additional twenty minutes. Everyone knew a turtle walked; faster than my daddy drove. I put on my son’s coat and we headed out door. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Tyrone standing outside the church grinning at me.

             
“Wow you must’ve put it on him last night,” Sandy whispered.

             
“He done followed you to church!” She laughed.

             
“Shut up that’s not funny!” I frowned.

I couldn’t believe he was here! I didn’t even remember mentioning
to him, where my church was. I turned to my family and excused myself. I needed to see what he wanted and fast. I wasn’t ready to explain to my father or David who he was. I hurried over to the church parking lot, where he was parked.