Daddy's Boy (8 page)

“
Thanks!” Allen headed
straight for the kitchen. I chuckled. I wasn’t really surprised
he’d headed there since it was his favorite place. So I closed the
door and followed him. Stepping into the room, my gaze took in the
gleaming surfaces of my stainless steel appliances. I loved walking
into my kitchen. While I didn’t do a lot of cooking, there were
many times when I would walk into the kitchen and just stand there
reminding myself if I wanted to, I
could
spend hours cooking and
creating new dishes.

“
So what do you want to
eat?” I asked.

Allen shrugged. “I don’t know.
Spaghetti?”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Why do
I even ask you? You always choose spaghetti.” I shook my head and
turned away from Allen toward my refrigerator. I opened the door to
the freezer and swallowed against the lump that suddenly rose up in
my throat. Usually I could spend hours with Allen, before I felt as
if I needed to get the boy home and away from the filth that was no
doubt contagious, but for some reason on this night, I found myself
hoping Allen’s parents would come home shortly.

“
I really like your
spaghetti,” Allen said. “My mom tried to make it like you do once,
and it was really bad.”

I shoved away the grief clawing its
way up my throat, snorting as I pulled out the plate that held the
thawed pound of ground beef I’d been saving for dinner, and turned
around to face Allen. I handed the plate to the young boy with a
smile. “Well, I’ll try to teach her again, and maybe she’ll get it
this time.” I doubted it, though. It was hard to learn from a
teacher when you spent the entire lesson either glaring at them or
asking them personal sexual questions guaranteed to make anyone
nervous.

“
I don’t think it will do
any good. My dad says she’s good at making phone calls to have
dinner ordered but not good at making it herself.”

I shook my head as I started making
the spaghetti, pausing every so often to have Allen help me. In no
time at all we were both sitting at the small table in the kitchen
eating the spaghetti we’d made. Allen was talking about some a new
video game he was really into when he stopped and stared at
me.

I froze with my fork halfway to my
mouth and looked back. “What?”

Allen shrugged. “My dad said your
friend Jack died. I’m sorry, Tyler.”

My eyes slid closed for a brief
moment. Was I so fucking transparent, then? While Allen thought I
was sad because of Jack, instead of the fact my past was literally
starting to choke the life from me, just the fact that my guard was
down and he could see my grief was enough to make me feel intensely
vulnerable. That was not acceptable. I didn’t do vulnerable. I
couldn’t. Not even with a kid as sweet as Allen.

“
Thank you, Allen. He was a
good guy.” Allen didn’t need to know that wasn’t completely true—he
was just a kid, after all. He would learn life was full of hell,
disappointment, and bad people. It was a lesson we all had to learn
at some point, but I didn’t want to be the one to ruin his view of
the world.

I’d let life teach him that particular
lesson and hope it didn’t happen with him the same way it did for
me.

We ate in silence after that, both of
us lost in our own thoughts, and I felt badly that I wasn’t my
usual charming self. I made a vow to myself that I’d make it up to
Allen soon. When we were finished, we put the dirty plates and
silverware in the dishwasher and headed to the living room. I
handed Allen the various remotes he needed and watched as he
excitedly got comfortable and turned on the 72-inch flat screen
television, one of my clients had purchased for me, and put on a
movie to watch. I stood at the edge of the room observing him and
for a moment, just a brief one, a pang of longing shot through me.
I wished I could have Stella with me. Just as quickly as that
thought passed across my mind it was gone, buried beneath the
reality of my life. Stella wouldn’t have a place in my world, and I
wasn’t in a position to give it up. Not now, especially not with
KuJoe still around.

I turned to head upstairs to get
dressed, when there was another knock on the door, this one
frantic. I sighed, knowing exactly who it was. I headed toward the
door and smirked at Allen’s groan.

“
God, Mom, can you not
freak out?” he muttered.

I opened the door and stepped back as
Madison Charles stepped into the room, dressed in a beautiful,
pale-pink confection of silk and lace. Her blonde hair was pulled
up into an elegant updo, and she barely spared me a passing glance
as she headed straight for the living room.

“
Allen? What are you doing
here? Let’s go,” she demanded, and I winced as her soprano-screech
voice battered my eardrums.

Aiden Charles, Jr. stepped into the
room behind her and smiled at me sheepishly. He was wearing a
tuxedo on his slim frame; his brown hair was brushed away from his
face; and his brown eyes twinkled with amusement. He shrugged, as
he leaned against the opposite wall from me, as Madison collected
Allen from my living room to protests from the little
boy.

“
Hey, Tyler,” Aiden’s voice
was soft, shy as it always was, and I smiled back at
him.

“
Hello, Aiden. How are
you?”

Aiden shrugged again and looked over
at Madison. “I’m good. Had another dinner to try and get some
investors for the children’s library.”

I nodded. Working with The Inner-City
Children’s Library of Los Angeles to ensure that inner-city kids
obtained homework centers, had after-school programs, recreational
facilities, and free school physicals was Aiden’s pet project, and
when he’d been a steady client of mine, he’d spent hours talking to
me about it. At first, I’d listened only because it was a part of
my job. I wasn’t just a willing body to my clients—sometimes I was
a friend, a confidante, a therapist, or a sounding board. I’d been
all of those things for Aiden. After a while, however, I’d gotten
really interested in Aiden’s desire to see children who came from
impoverished homes have the opportunity to read and grow beyond
their environments. I’d been so interested in the Children’s
Library project, I mentioned it to every client I’d had after
Aiden, in an effort to get them to donate to the cause. Most of
them had.

Especially Jack.

It was a great tax write-off for them
and made them look really good in polite society. For some of them,
I think they saw it as their way of making up for what they did
when they were with me. Which didn’t bother me in the least. I knew
a lot of my male clients felt bad when they gave into their
“addiction” and slept with me, and if it took them giving back to
charity to help ease their conscience, then so be it. As long as I
got paid when they came to see me, I didn’t care what they did with
the rest of their money.

“
Jack’s wife was there to
make a donation in his name. Apparently it was in his will that $10
million was supposed to be donated to the library,” Aiden said, his
eyes wide and amazement apparent in his words. “I can’t help but
feel as if I have you to thank for that.”

I shook my head. “I had
nothing to do with that, Aiden. You know that better than anyone. I
have no influence over what my…
friends
do. Jack was just very
charitable.”

Aiden nodded and looked back at
Madison and Allen. My gaze followed his, and I watched as Madison
and Allen spoke earnestly to each other. While I couldn’t hear
their quiet conversation, I was pretty sure Madison was asking
Allen to not come to my place any more. It was a common
conversation between the two of them, and Madison was never
successful. I knew I should probably tell Allen to stop coming
over, especially since I often had clients over, but I selfishly
didn’t want to give up my friendship with the young boy.

“
I miss you, Tyler,” Aiden
said softly, and I turned to look at him in surprise. The surprise
only lasted for a moment before I sighed and shook my
head.

“
Allen—” I
started.

“
Loves you and talks about
you all the time,” Aiden interrupted me.

I nodded. “He’s a good kid,
Aiden. That’s why I can’t. Why
we
can’t. There’s a reason I make sure I don’t meet
the families of my
friends
. Why I don’t want to see
pictures or anything like that if I can help it. I may be a
companion, or as your wife says, a “high-priced whore,” but I do
all I can to avoid being a homewrecker, and once I know the
children or feel as if I know them, then that’s how I feel.” I
shook my head. “I can’t do that to him. He’s my friend. My buddy.
Please don’t mention it again, Aiden. I like Allen way too much to
be able to see him when I know I’m sleeping with his father behind
his mother’s back.”

Aiden sighed. “Fine. But I
just wanted you to know.” He stared at me, and I could feel his
gaze like a caress on my skin. Usually it would have turned me on,
I loved being lusted after; it made my job very easy, but this
time, that caress felt so terribly
wrong.
I had the urge to get Aiden
and his beautiful family out of my home so I could scrub my skin
again. “I think about you all the time, and that’s not going to
stop because you have a conscience.”

Madison and Allen walked toward us
before I had a chance to respond, and this time I was happy Madison
didn’t trust me around her husband. She held firmly to Allen’s hand
as she offered me a tight smile.

“
Tyler.” She nodded at me.
I offered her a bright smile in return, refusing, for once, to make
any type of snarky remark about how constipated she looked every
time she saw me and how a good enema or colonoscopy would clear
that right up.

Okay, I wasn’t
snarky
to
her,
but I couldn’t help being snarky in my own head.

“
Madison. You look lovely
as always,” I responded, my hand wrapped around the edge of my
front door.

“
Thank you, Tyler. It’s the
glow of marriage to a loving, faithful man. Perhaps one day you
will have the same thing.” She gave me a smug grin and tilted her
nose up at me. “Or, perhaps not.” With a delicate sniff, she tugged
on Allen’s hand. “Come on, Allen and Aiden. We really need to get
home.”

“
Bye, Allen,” I said,
waving at the little boy who turned and waved back at me with a
smile.

“
See you later, Tyler!” he
said excitedly, rolling his eyes when Madison started another
tirade about staying away from “certain people.”

Aiden sighed and dragged his gaze away
from his wife’s retreating form to look back at me. “I’ll see you
around, Tyler?”

I nodded. “I’m sure we’ll
see each other in the hallway or the elevator or another event, but
those are the only places.” I was firm about that and could only
hope Aiden could hear it in my voice. When he nodded and his
shoulders drooped slightly, I knew he had. He turned to leave, and
my hand trailed down the side of the door to grab the knob. I
clenched it in my fist as I stopped myself from scheduling an
appointment with Aiden. It wasn’t that I
wanted
him, not at all like I wanted
Dodger, but Aiden was safe for me. He would never leave his wife
for me. I knew that, and I would never be tempted to fall in love
with him. Though I didn’t know Dodger beyond the two conversations
we’d had, I could already tell he presented quite the temptation
for the pieces of my heart that still beat with life inside of
me.

“
Aiden?” I called after him
when he stepped out the door and turned toward his place. He
stopped and looked at me expectantly. Why was I holding onto some
stupid ideal that if I didn’t know the children, I was less of a
bad person? I was what I was, and knowing Allen didn’t make Aiden
anything less or anything more than what he was to me… a
client.

I opened my mouth to tell him to come
by in a few days. Guilt and shame crawled up my spine to bury their
fangs in the base of my skull, making my head begin to pound with
the beginnings of a migraine, but instead, I smiled and gestured to
his door.

“
You might want to get a
different babysitter. That one sniffs cocaine, and this time Allen
saw her doing it.”

Aiden’s eyes widened, and he looked
back at his door before looking at me and smiling
softly.

“
Thanks, Tyler. You’re
really not as coldhearted as you think you are, which sucks for me
because it just makes me want you more.” He shook his head. “Good
night.”

I inclined my head. “Good night,
Aiden.”

I stepped back and closed the door. I
turned the lock and sighed when I heard the snick of it being
engaged. I was safe once again. Alone. In my tower, with no one
around to make me feel I needed to be charming or entertaining—or
to feel anything. I squared my shoulders and turned to the living
room. As I cleaned up downstairs, shutting off the television and
the Blu-ray disc player, Aiden’s words played on a loop in my head.
Not his desire to have me again, as those words were said to me so
often they never tended to stick around for too long. No, his words
about me not being coldhearted were the ones that haunted
me.