Healing the Clan: Alaskan Tigers: Book Ten (9 page)

Frank was dead, but it brought her no comfort. There was a hole in her chest that didn’t seem like it would ever close. There was no one to go after, no one to kill, no means to find closure. Just like there was no one to stay strong for. She could fall apart, and David would be there to help her put the pieces together.

Her chest tightened, and each breath seemed to be a fight. Darkness closed in around her. Panic, fear, and guilt coursed through her. She fought, trying to find her way out, but she couldn’t, alone in the darkness that threatened to swallow her.
David!
She screamed through their bond, begging him to find her before her beast snapped her control and sprang forward. There would be no coming back from it if it got that far. The beast would be in control, and she’d be rogue.

Cool hands slid over hers.
Why are his hands cold?
Her tiger roared within her, sending another wave of despair through her. The beast clawed down the inside of her, trying to get out, sending agony through her. Part of her wanted to give in just so the pain would go away.

“Stay with me.” He squeezed her hands, digging his nails into her skin just enough to bring her back to him.

Her eyes widened, but she wasn’t looking through her own eyes. Instead, she saw through the eyes of her beast. The red haze to everything was new and screamed a warning to her. Rumor had it that rogues saw things with a red glow. No one really knew for sure but that was what the legends claimed. She was too close to the edge.
I don’t want to leave this behind.
She tried to focus on her mate, but it seemed to require more than she could give.

David’s beast essence pressed against hers and soothed the ruffled fur of her beast. He rubbed along her side, just as their kind did when both in their second form. Purrs of reassurance rumbled from his chest, vibrating through his body and down to her. “You’re stronger than this. Fight, Victoria.”

Fight for what? I’m alone.
The beast roared within her, in a mixture of anguish and remorse, and images of her parents passed through her thoughts. Her mother was so innocent in all of this. It wasn’t fair.

Life’s not fair, child. Some things you must accept and move on. You have to make a life with what you are given and not want for more. Otherwise, you’ll never find happiness.
Her mother had told her that when she didn’t want to mate with Frank.

“You have a chance at happiness, so don’t give up on it now.” David’s words cut through her thoughts as if he had experienced the memory with her. “Fight for us and the clan. We need you. Your mother wouldn’t want you to become
this
.”

Fight for him.
It sounded like her mother’s voice, but it couldn’t have been. Could it? Her beast was threatening to take control permanently, and now she was hearing things that weren’t there. That couldn’t be a good thing. She tried to focus, but her tigress didn’t want to give up its control.

She fought through the tangled web her beast had begun to twirl around her, each layer tighter and more complex than the last. There was no way she was going to give up. She had a mate who loved her, and somewhere along the way, she had fallen in love with him. What they had was worth the fight. She pushed forward, and with each inch she moved toward reclaiming her body and thoughts, she pushed the beast just a little further down. There would be a price to pay for this sudden denial and shoving her beast back into the box she kept it in, but she’d worry about that later. If she was going to pull herself out of this, she had to focus.

Soft moans mixed with the growls of her beast as she fought for control. Every second, she progressed a little further. As she fought free of her tigress, it became easier to breath and the red glaze over everything began to fade.

“Come on, mate. That’s it. Come back to me.”

His voice sounded soothing and so close. She wanted to reach out and wrap her arms around his neck, to bring him closer as if he was her lifebuoy, but her arms were too heavy. Instead of letting the fear rise within in her, she kept her focus on freeing herself from the tigress’s control. Never in all her life had she felt her beast so full of rage and so close to the surface. It wanted to break free of her control and seek revenge. The only one that would bring her satisfaction was already dead. Going rogue would only lead to more unfortunate bloodshed, and none of it would bring her closure or bring back her mother.

The claws on her beast dragged down the inside of her, causing her to double over as she stuffed the last remaining energy back into the box she kept it in. Her beast wasn’t happy, but she had managed. Exhausted, she panted and brought her hand away from her stomach. With the level of pain she was experiencing, she expected there to be blood, but there was none. Any wounds the claws left were internal, but they hurt like hell.

“Victoria.” He sat down next to her on the floor and cuddled her against his body, his lips pressed to the top of her head. “I thought I lost you.”

She wanted to say,
you almost did
, but the words wouldn’t come. Leaning against him, she was too tired to even open her eyes. The fear that she could have been lost so completely that she had no control over her beast was still very real, and for the first time, she truly understood the power her tigress held. If it had gained control completely, there would have been nothing she could have done. She’d have been a shell with her tigress in control.
I’d rather be dead.

A
nger poured
through David as he jogged down the steps in search of his sister. He had nearly lost his mate because of Mira’s actions. Her gift could be used for good, but when she did things like this, nothing positive could come from it. Mira had to have known what they’d find when they opened the passage, and there was no excuse why she hadn’t brought the information to him instead of Victoria.

“What’s up, David?” Theodore nodded to him as he flung the door open that led to the clan’s area.

“Where’s my sister?”

“Inside.” The bear nodded to the door he was guarding. “Styx is in there, too.”

“Then get out of the way.” David came to stand before him, his hands clenched into fists.

Theodore had a moment to look unsure of what to do when the door behind them opened and Styx filled the doorway.

“What’s going on here?”

“I need to have a word with my sister. Alone.”

“You can speak with her, but it won’t be alone.” Styx laid a hand on the bear’s shoulder, and he stepped aside to let David pass. “What’s happened?”

“Mira knows what she’s done.” He brushed past them into the room, straight toward where Mira was sitting on the sofa. “What the hell where you thinking? You’ve done some stupid shit in the past, but I won’t allow you to come here while I’m rebuilding things and throw dirt in my face.”

She uncurled herself from where she was sitting on the sofa until she was sitting instead of lounging, her brows knitted together in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Annoyance flared within him as she glanced behind him to her mate. He wasn’t sure if she was doing it out of fear or question, but this was between them and had nothing to do with Styx. “The attic.”

“What?”

“You screwed up this time! I nearly lost my mate tonight because you didn’t think shit through completely. Instead you ran off at the mouth about your visions like you’re better than everyone else because you can see things others can’t. You’ve never thought that the rest of us might not want to know. We don’t need to know what’s coming for us or what horrors are hidden and deserve to stay hidden. No, you just want to unburden yourself. Well, I’ve had it.”

“That’s enough.” Styx wrapped his arm around his mate’s shoulder.

“This is family business, so stay out of it.”

Styx’s lips curled and a growl echoed throughout the room. “I’m her mate, so think again.”

If he had been thinking clearly, that might have given him second thoughts, but it only infuriated him more. “She screwed up.”

“I didn’t know—”

“Didn’t know! How many times have I heard that? Not this time, sister. Your actions almost sent Victoria rogue.”

“Please believe me, David, I didn’t know.” She glanced at Styx, but his gaze was glued to David. “Tell him.”

“She didn’t know about the images of Victoria’s mother until a few minutes ago. By then, the damage was done,” Styx told him, his voice tight as if those weren’t the words he wanted to say.

“I only told her about it so she understood what Frank had planned for her. It’s why I dropped hints for her to run back then. I didn’t want to see her up there, like his last mate. David, I swear I didn’t know he kept her mom up there. I wouldn’t have told her if I had.”

“It’s not her fault,” Victoria called from behind David, startling him. “This was Frank’s doing, not Mira.”

He couldn’t help bristling. “She should have come to me with this information, not you. She knew about the attic for years, and she never bothered to mention it.”

“Why would I have?” Mira asked. “The horrors hidden there needed to stay buried.”

“Then why tell her about it?”

“She was having a hard time dealing with the fact that you were an Alpha, and the fear that you’d be just like Frank had her stomach in knots. I thought if she had closure with what happened and realized how lucky she was to escape what he had planned for her, that she’d be able to move on with you. I was trying to help.”

“We’ve seen where your help gets people.” The words left David’s mouth before he could stop them.

“What happened with Shelly isn’t my fault.” Tears rolled down her face. “I wanted her to see that one day things would be different.”

“Except she never lived long enough to see that.” David shook his head.

“We might be on your turf, but I won’t stand for you talking to my mate like this. Her visions have brought her a lot of heartache.” Styx rubbed a hand along her bicep.

“Heartache. What does she know of it? She got to run off to safety instead of seeing more than half of the clan slaughtered. She didn’t have to witness Mom stepping in front of Shelly to save her, only for them both to end up dead.”

“David.” Victoria laid a hand on him.

He shrugged away from her touch. The pain in her eyes and the tears rolling down Mira’s face didn’t stop him. He felt possessed by the rage that had his beast too close to the surface. It was almost like he wanted others to hurt, even though he knew that wouldn’t accomplish anything.

“She only sees bits and pieces of things. You can’t place the blame for what happens on her when she doesn’t even understand all of her visions,” Styx tried to reason with him.

“I screwed up with Shelly,” Mira admitted. “I wanted her to see what the future would hold if we could just keep it all together for a little longer. It backfired. She wanted to be free of Frank. She wanted to be wild and carefree. None of us could stop her. I’m not the only one to blame for this. She thought your position held enough weight to keep her safe. She thought she wouldn’t get in as much trouble since she was acting out with Frank’s own son.” She took a deep breath. “All of that worked against her. Frank saw it as more of a slap in the face because they were together. When she didn’t have him or you to fall back on, she tried to bargain with something bigger—my betrayal.”

“David…” Victoria stepped in front of him, forcing him to look at her. “Everyone’s hurting. Instead of fighting or blaming one another, we need to band together. Nothing that has happened in the past can be changed, but right now, you’re driving a wedge between the only family you have. I know how much you care for Mira and the torment you have within you because you couldn’t save your mom, Shelly, and everyone else. Take it from someone who has no one else…you don’t want to cast out the family you have.”

Her words slowly brought him back to himself and made him realize he was trying to cut Mira off now before he could lose her for good, as if it would hurt less. “You have me now,” he assured his mate.

“Then stop acting like an ass and going after your sister for something she didn’t even know about.” Her hand landed on his chest, and he didn’t move away this time. “Mira wouldn’t have told me about the attic if she realized what we would find up there. I also know that if she told you instead, you’d have tried to hide the worst of what we found up there. So don’t blame her for this.”

“I almost lost you tonight,” he reminded her.

“But you didn’t. I’m right here, and I’m okay.”

“What do you mean you almost lost her?” Styx asked.

“She almost went rogue.”

“You said that before but it’s impossible. You don’t almost go rogue. You either do, or you don’t.”

“She did.” He pulled her against him, his arm tight around her waist. “The anguish and need to seek revenge rose within her, bringing her beast to the surface.”

“My vision turned red, and I couldn’t breathe. My beast was controlling my thoughts and my body, and I couldn’t move.” She tipped her head up to look at him. “David came to me…he saved me from myself.”

“Maybe being mated helped them fight it off. Aren’t most rogue cases single shifters?” Mira asked Styx.

“Mostly yes, but this is still unheard of.”

“I don’t care how unusual it is. I have my mate here with me, and that’s what counts.”

“I’ll need to tell Tabitha and Ty about this immediately,” Styx announced, but he didn’t move from where he was with his arm around his mate.

Just like that, things calmed between everyone, a complete change in mood. Now that the anger had subsided, his beast calmed. He’d need to make things right with his sister. Blaming her for trying to save Shelly was wrong. He loved Mira. Damn anger for rising its head and striking out at one of the people he loved.

“Let’s go back upstairs.” Victoria ran her fingers along his chest.

“Go on. I’ll be up in a minute.” When their gazes met, he felt her insecurity. “I’m not going to say anything I’ll regret. I just need to talk to Larry and Carran. Go on. Ryder’s up there, cleaning…” He let the words fall away because no one needed a reminder of what he was cleaning up in the attic.

“Don’t be long.” She slipped from his embrace and headed for the door.

Once she left, Styx nodded to the adjoining door that was cracked. “Carran’s in there with Adam. I’m not sure where Larry is.”

“Thanks.” He looked at Mira. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can say to make things better, but I am sorry.”

“I know.”

Not knowing how to make things right between him and his sister, his lips curled down into a frown as he moved toward the adjoining living quarters. He wanted to talk to them about the new Elder quarters and have them get a team started on it first thing in the morning. He wanted the current place destroyed, even though it meant they’d have to add a new dining hall in the future.

Just burn the place to the ground and start over.
If only he could. He had to provide living quarters for those already here and for the others who would eventually come. He had to get things ready, and quickly. Tomorrow, while the crews were spread out dealing with the new buildings being erected, he’d find out how many of the current members wanted to remain in the main building’s living quarters. They could remain if they chose to, but they’d be stuck living in a construction zone. Each of the rooms that had been occupied by families would be remodeled so they were apartments with multiple rooms instead of one.

He stepped into the other room and found Carran and Adam playing cards, pretending they hadn’t heard everything that had happened in the next room. There was no doubt they had heard everything. At least both of them knew well enough to stay out of it and let them handle things.

Instead of trying to defend what happened, he lowered himself into the only other empty chair and laced his fingers together on the table. “Guys, I need you to gather another crew. Find Larry, and anyone else who needs to be filled in. I want to break ground on the Elders building at first light.”

“I thought that was going to wait.” Carran laid his cards on the table and leaned back. “We don’t have enough manpower to divide them to start another building, especially since I’m going back to Alaska soon.”

“That might be true, but after finding Frank’s attic of horrors, I don’t want my mate up there any longer than necessary. We start construction tomorrow. There’s no other living quarters acceptable that would provide the safety my mate needs. The clan is still uncertain about things, and I won’t place her in danger.”

“If you’re set on that, I’ll need to bring in additional crew members from other clans. Possibly Korbin can spare some from the Ohio Tigers. We’re going to need more people if you want to get her out of there quickly and still meet the deadlines for the other buildings.”

“Do whatever you need.” David knew anyone Carran brought in would be a supporter of the Alaskan Tigers, and that meant there wouldn’t be additional threats coming to his land. The thought of threats reminded him of something else. “What’s happening with those outside of the gates?”

“Those who are still there have backed up. The Washington D.C. Tigers that were in the hills have disappeared. I don’t know if they have moved back, regrouped somewhere else, or got wind that Styx was here.”

“Why does his presence add fear into them? They are one step away from being rogue, what would they care?”

“They learned he was the one who killed two of their men to save Mira. They fear him.”

“Interesting.” David leaned back, the realization that his reputation might keep his sister safe finally sinking in. Before, they had just been words she’d tried to tell him, maybe so he would be happy for her, but now he was seeing the benefit. He’d hurt Mira tonight and things might never be the same again between them, but there was some comfort in knowing she had a mate who could protect her.
Even if I’m an ass, at least she has someone to look out for her. It was my job, and I’ve failed both of my sisters.

“The numbers in the hills have gotten smaller and do not pose as much of a threat as they once did. I wouldn’t say there are no dangers of someone trying to seize your clan from underneath you, but it’s safer now than it was before.”

“Because of the unexpected guests?”

“That had something to do with it, but I also suspect they’re getting word of what you’re doing here and who you’ve allied yourself with. The Washington D.C. Tigers are a threat to all of us. Their numbers are small but they are…sociopaths. I guess that’s the best word I have for them. They are as close to what humans considers sociopaths as you can get and still be shifters. They aren’t rogue, but only one step above it, yet they seem to realize that if they go up against us it will mean the end of them.”

“If they are that close to being rogues, it’s surprising they understand that at all.” He hadn’t had experiences with them personally, but he had heard some things since he had become an Elder and would have thought they weren’t thinking straight enough to consider outcomes.

Adam set the drink he had been holding aside and leaned forward. “The leader is vindictive and tortures his members for anything he can come up with. Ty believes he does it because he enjoys it, not because his beast needs to. It’s a fine line, one he’s barely controlling, and it won’t be long until it snaps. It’s what’s keeping the members in line. He makes them appear to be a team, but in reality, he’s just found others like him. If he didn’t keep a tight rein on them, they’d go rogue and murder anyone in their paths. If he didn’t like to torture and cut up people, he’d be a good Alpha because of the control he has over his members.”