Her Dom's Lesson (Dominic Powers Book 2) (9 page)

“Sophia, if you’re still not recovered, you can take more time off to recuperate.  Your job is safe,” I promise.  “I’d rather you be off to rest and fully heal than push yourself to come back to work too soon.”

She stops nibbling and drops her head forward.  The pained expression on her face concerns me.  “Tell me, Sophia.  What’s wrong?”

“Don’t worry about me, Dominic. 
Please
don’t.  When you talk to me like that, like you care, it just…it just hurts me even more.  I’m
trying
to let you go and this doesn’t help.  I’ll be okay.”  Her voice betrays her words.  She doesn’t believe them any more than I do. 

“Why do I feel like you’re still withholding something from me?”

The panic that flies across her face is unmistakable and I know I’ve hit the target dead center.  Now to find out what it is.

“You know I can read you like a book, Sophia.  No doubt that I was blindsided by the whole
Harry Dick-man
shit, but that’s because he was never a Sir and the whole thing was all too fucked up.  Make no fucking mistake about it, though -
you belong to me, Sophia
.  I told you there was no going back on us and I fucking meant it.  Just because I’m mad doesn’t give you the right to withhold anything from me.  Not your body, not your heart, and not your mind.”

She immediately reverts to a submissive posture–to the one I’ve instructed her in.  Her eyes rise to meet mine, just as she knows I like it.  “That’s my girl.  You know you can’t hide from me, don’t you?  Your eyes tell me what I need to know about your feelings.”

“There’s no going back?  Even now?”

“Even now,” I confirm. 

Intently studying her expressive brown eyes, my chest tightens at the emotions I see in them.  She loves me and her love shines brightly in them.  There is so much sadness in them, too, and she’s afraid.  She’s scared of me?

What the fuck?

“Why are you scared of me, Sophia?  What have I ever done to make you fear me?”

“It’s not that I’m scared of you like that–that you’ll hit me or anything,” she says tentatively.

“Then what?”

“More than anything, I’m afraid you’ll send me away and I’ll never be around you again,” she whispers, as if she’s afraid voicing the fear will make it come true.

“Do you trust me?” I ask, drawing up to my full height and towering over her. 

“Yes, of course I do, Dom.  But I know you don’t trust me.”

“That’s partly because I
know
you’re intentionally keeping something from me.  That’s deceit–even if it’s by omission.”

She sits quietly for a few moments, internally debating whether or not to release this vital piece of information that’s tormenting her.  What she doesn’t realize is I’m not giving her a choice.  Being apart isn’t what either of us really wants.  This is a monumental hurdle for us to get over but we have to do it regardless. 

“Stop thinking about it and do as I say, Sophia,” I demand sternly.

“Can you please sit down, Dom?” she asks, but I hear concern in her tone.  Concern for me.

“I will oblige you this one time but my patience with asking is wearing thin.”

Nibbling on her bottom lip, she turns in her chair to fully face me.  I’m not asking her again and she knows it.  I expect an answer from her and I expect it now.  I’m finished with being lenient and letting missteps slide. 

“First, I want you to understand I didn’t do this on purpose.  It was never my intent and I was just as shocked as you will be.

“Second, I will respect whatever you decide.  If you need time to think about it, I’ll give you that, too.

“Third,” she pauses to swallow her tears, “just…don’t hate me.”

“Noted,” I respond.

Her eyes dart nervously back and forth between mine.  I keep my gaze steady and wait for her explanation.

“Dom…um…damn, this is harder than I thought it would be,” she takes a slow, deep breath and then fully exhales it before continuing.  “I’m pregnant.”

“Dom, say something, please,” Sophia prompts me.  

I can’t speak.  I am literally speechless at her confession.

“Are you even breathing?” she asks, anxiety rising in her voice.

No, I don’t think I am
. 

“How far along are you?” I finally find my voice and my breath.  I lean forward toward her and give her my most penetrating stare.

“About ten weeks now,” she replies quietly, dropping her eyes to the floor.  “I found out in the hospital.  The doctor said they did a pregnancy test before doing all my X-rays just to be on the safe side.”

On the safe side
–that phrase kicks me into gear and Shadow’s words come back to me.  If Sophia is a target now, she needs to be protected around the clock.  As much as I’m not ready for what I’m about to say, if she’s really pregnant with my baby, I have no other choice.  The Dom in me says to take her home and make her beg for release to remind her who she belongs to.  The man who just found out he’s going to be a father has a deep-rooted need just to make sure his baby is safe. 

“Speaking of being ‘
on the safe side
,’ and since you’re pregnant with
my
baby–and it is
mine
, correct?”

“Yes, of course it’s yours!” she replies with indignation.

“Since you’re pregnant with my baby, you’re moving in with me so I can make sure you’re both safe.”  My tone and expression leave no room for any argument. 

“
What?
” she asks, confusion etched in her beautiful face.  It is mixed with a hopefulness that she doesn’t try to mask.

To be fair, this has shocked the fuck out of me, but it all makes sense to me now.  It’s the best–and only–solution for everything that has hit us.  “Whoever is behind the attempts on my life is still out there and now could be after you, according to Shadow.  The safety of you and my baby is my primary concern.  You and I still have things that we need to work through and you need to be reminded that you are
mine
.  Moving in with me is the only option that makes sense.”

“You aren’t mad at me?” she asks timidly.

“I’m not mad about the pregnancy.  I’m still in shock since this was the last thing I expected to hear today.  But, it actually makes my decision easier,” I reason.

The sadness in her eyes multiplies exponentially and she looks completely defeated.  “What are you thinking, Sophia?”

“I didn’t want to tell you about the baby yet.  If you decided you wanted to be with me, I wanted to know it was because of
me
and not that you feel obligated because of the baby.”

Standing, I stalk across my office and scrub my hand over my face.  Turning back to her, the anger wells back up in me at her deception, but I can’t just forget the other things she did for me.  “Sophia, I admit that I’ve been really mad over all of this. 
So fucking mad.
  But, I knew there was something missing because of the things you did to protect me. 

“Hearing the full story from you helped put some of the pieces of this fucked up jigsaw puzzle in place.  I can’t say I’m
pleased
with all of this, but I know how much you love your brother, so I can definitely see you trying to protect him.  You still should’ve told me, but I should’ve listened.

“I can’t put all of the blame on you.  If I’d heard you out before now, so many things would be different.  You’ve admitted to your faults and apologized.  It’s my turn to do the same.”

Her eyes widen and her lips part in shock.  She stares at me in disbelief without making a sound for the first several seconds.  “Dom, no. 
No.
  All these months I’ve been with you, I should’ve told you.  This isn’t your fault.”

I shake my head from side to side and walk slowly toward her.  Stopping directly in front of her, I take her hand and pull her to her feet.  “No, Sophia, I acted like a complete ass.  You’ve shouldered the blame and guilt alone long enough.  My reaction was rash.  I should’ve had more faith in you and asked you directly.  That was stupid…just
stupid
.  There’s no other word to describe it. 

“When those papers were served, I’d just been told about your connection to Harrison.  I saw red and I immediately felt like a failure as your Dom.  I thought I’d been played for a fool and I automatically believed the worst.  You never had a chance to explain or clarify what I thought, and my actions put you in danger. 
I’m
sorry, Sophia.”

She searches my eyes and my face, looking for any trace of mockery, but she won’t find it.  Standing this close to her has my senses on full alert as I drink in her natural beauty, inhale her sweet perfume, and long to touch her.  I’m still hesitant, even though she’s assured me she’s not behind the sexual harassment fiasco.  I can’t give the other employees any ammunition to use against me. 

“Does this mean you forgive me?” she whispers to me.  Her hands draw into fists at her side while she awaits my answer.  “Does this mean you want me again?”

This brave, beautiful lady has endured so much in her short life.  The Dom in me wants to take away all the pain and give her only pleasure.  He also wants to punish her, lovingly, and drive out any thought, memory, or knowledge of any other man.  The man in me just wants to pull her into my arms and tell her that everything will be fine…eventually.

With her question, she’s asking me if I want her for more than just my baby she carries.  Her heart and mind crave the security and protection only her Dom can provide.  But, she needs to hear the words and feel the power of the meaning behind them when I say I want her, I need her, and I love her.

“You are still
My Angel
, Sophia,” I pour my feelings into my words, “if you’ll still have me as your Dom.”

She’s been strong and she’s kept her emotions under control.  She’s kept the tears at bay and responded to questions with logic and reason.  Until now.  The tears she’s held back flow like a torrent, running unchecked down her beautiful cheeks.  The sobs wrack her body as her shoulders start shaking.  I open my arms wide and she rushes into them, wrapping her arms around my waist and clinging tightly to me.

Wrapping my arms around her until she’s fully enveloped, I pull her as close to me as two bodies can be and just hold her.  My heart broke when I lost her and I feel the same intensity she feels now, we just show it in different ways.  My desire to shelter and protect her has increased a million times over now, and not only because of her pregnancy.  It’s mainly because she’s shown her devotion to me during a time when she had no reason to. 

I failed her but she only focuses on her actions.  Her well-being is my primary concern now, and that is part of my responsibility as her Dom.   “Sophia,” I murmur against her ear, “my love, calm down for me.  It’s not good for you to get so upset.”

Rubbing her back and gently kissing her head, her body begins to relax against me.  Her sobs diminish into occasional hiccups until her breathing finally returns to normal.  She sniffles every few seconds, but I can feel the tension rolling off of her in waves.  “That’s my girl.  Feel better now?” I ask, keeping my tone gentle.

She nods but her grip on me tightens, telling me she’s not ready to be released yet.  I smile and lower my face to rest my cheek on top of her head.  Every part of our body is touching, and as my hands roam across her body, I realize just how much weight she has lost.  I can feel each notch to count her ribs.  Moving my hands further down, I feel her hipbones protruding more and my concern for her health increases significantly.

Quietly soothing her, I raise the question that plagues me now.  “Sophia, I asked you earlier, but I want you to thoroughly think about this before you answer.  Really consider every remote possibility.”

“Okay,” comes her muffled reply.

“Do you trust me?  Completely, absolutely, and without a single doubt or question?  If I told you to do something that’s best for you, would you do it even if you didn’t want to?  Don’t answer right away, and give me your completely honest answer.”

While she considers my questions, runs through the scenarios in her mind, and weighs her choices, I wait on baited breath.  Her answer has to be unequivocally
‘yes’
for this relationship to work.  No reservations, nothing held back “just in case.”  This is an all-in or all-out situation and I think she knows that.  The part of her mind that is holding onto her fears is what keeps her from giving herself completely to me.

“Dom,” comes her watery reply.  “Can I tell you something before I answer that?”

“Of course,” I reply, knowing that every insight into her thought process gives me an advantage–gives us an advantage.

“When I was seventeen, I left home and lived on my own, on the streets.  I graduated high school early since I had enough credits, but you know my home life had become unbearable.  I had already lost my mom and my dad before that, but then I later lost my brother–the one person who really loved me and the one I truly loved.

“Then when I met Harrison, I thought he was good.  I thought he loved me and would help me, but I was so wrong about him.  Then I met you, and you were more than I ever thought a man could be.  More than I deserved.  But, I fell for you, so fast, so hard.  My love for you can’t even be described.  Then I lost you, too.

“I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, Dom.  It scares me to know that I would be happiest just giving you all of me, just being completely lost in you.  What happens to me if I do and then I lose you?  There would be nothing left of me.”

Knowing fear was at the root of the problem is one thing.  Hearing her describe it in those terms is another.  Her question wasn’t rhetorical.  As her Dom, she needs me to have the answer, to reassure her, and to make the hard decisions so that she doesn’t have to do it.  The consequences of any decision will be on me, and none of the blame will be on her.

“Sophia, you are mine to love, to cherish, and to protect.  I will take the burdens from your shoulders and put them on mine, because I can carry them.  I can bear those heavy loads better than you can.  All you have to do is let them go, let them fall on me, and I will gladly take them for you. 

“You’ve been strong long enough.  The tough decisions aren’t up to you anymore.  The negative repercussions of those decisions aren’t yours to worry about anymore.  You’re
My Angel
, and I’m your immovable rock.  I’m not going anywhere, Sophia.  You’ll always have me.  Lose yourself in me, give me all of you, and let me make you the happiest woman that ever lived.”

Those aren’t just pretty words and hollow promises I just made her.  That is my binding word, my honor, and my love.  Everything that means anything to me is in my arms right now–
My Angel
and my child.  This is my family and this is what I will protect with swift ferocity.  When her body softens, and there’s no way to tell where she ends and I begin, I know she’s made up her mind.  She can’t get close enough to me as she prepares to give me her answer.

“I trust you, Dom.  Take all of me.  I’m nothing but an empty shell without you.  I would rather have five minutes of real happiness with you than a lifetime of nothingness without you,” she surrenders.

It’s such a beautiful thing to watch her submit, to break down her walls, and to lay down her fears.  Trusting me to keep my word, keep her safe, and love her through it all fills me with purpose and pride.  Sharing the deep love we have for each other is what keeps us going through the darkest hours.  Sophia will never doubt my unending love or my unyielding commitment to her again.

Sophia

Can this be true?  Am I dreaming?  If I am, I don’t ever want to wake.  The other dream I had about Dom gutted me.  It felt so real when he rejected me, but having him hold me and whisper words of love feels more like a dream than reality.  I never thought I’d see the day when he’d welcome me back in his arms.

Even knowing there are still issues we have to work through doesn’t scare me.  His promise to me just gave me all the reassurance I need to know that everything will work out.  I finally know what it means to let him in, to let him see the sides of me that I keep hidden from the rest of the world.  The old fears no longer matter.