His Secretary: BBW Romance (Her Second Chance Book 1) (10 page)

“Now you are being stupid,” she told herself firmly, as she took off her pretty dress, replacing it with pyjamas. Sitting in front of the mirror she meticulously removed her make up, more for something to do than because she was worried about her complexion. She wasn’t meant to be with a man. She was only supposed to be with her children.

With that in mind, she checked the time, it was still early, and phoned home.

“Hi Max.”

“Helen. Hi, the girls have been asking to ring you, we’ve been putting them off until a little later in case we interrupted you.”

“Are they there now? I’m missing them terribly.”

“Sure. I’ll go get them. Are you OK? You sound kind of down.”

“I think the trip’s been a bit of a waste to be honest with you. And now Oliver has gone back to the hospital. I think his uncle took a turn for the worse.”

“Oh, give him my best wishes, I hope the old man pulls through.”

“I’ll pass it on, thanks Max.”

“OK. Here are your two delightful girls. Right, Jess I’m going to put you on speaker.”

“Hi Mommy,” Jess shouted.

“Hi honey. How are you both? Did you have a good day at school?”

“Yes. And then Max and Dan took us out for pizza.”

“Wow. Did they, I hope you said thank you.”

“They did,” Max chimed in. “We thought it was best or else they would have had to make do with my cooking.”

“Yuck,” Laura said giggling.

“It’s not that bad, Max,” Helen said supportively.

The girls giggled again, and Max replied, “I think we all know it is.”

“And now Dan is making brownies. Robin gave him the recipe. He’s had to phone her twice already.”

“It certainly sounds as though you are all having fun.”

“We are, but we miss you Mommy. When will you be home?”

“Probably tomorrow evening. I’m not sure. Mr Pierceson is not doing so great. So maybe I might come home on my own. I’m not sure.” Until now she hadn’t thought about that. The business deal would most probably be called off, and Oliver would stay here with his cousin to support Mrs Pierceson.

“I can’t wait to see you. I’ve drawn you a picture of us and the cats.” Laura’s voice went fainter, and then she carried on, “You are holding hands with me and Jess, and I’m holding Sparkle’s paw, and Jess is holding Jeremy’s paw.”

“That sound like a masterpiece. Have you put it on the fridge?”

“Yes,” she came closer again. “They asked us to draw our family. Do you think it’s OK that I didn’t put daddy in it? Only I couldn’t remember the colour of his eyes.”

“I think that’s just fine, Laura.” Helen swallowed the lump in her throat. “And I’m sure those two cats will be thrilled you drew them.”

“Brownies are ready,” Jess shouted. “If they’re nice we’ll save you some Mommy.” her voice dropped to a whisper, “If not we’ll make Uncle Dan eat them all.”

Helen laughed. “I hope they are perfect. I can’t wait to try them. Goodnight you two. I love you.”

“Love you Mommy,” they chorused.

“Bye,” she called as they faded away.

“They miss you,” Max said. “You sure you’re OK? If you are coming home alone then let me know, one of us will meet you at the airport.”

“Thanks Max. More than ever I think it was a mistake coming here.”

“I don’t. I think you needed to see if Oliver Pierceson had any intention on making a move on you.”

Helen nearly dropped the phone. “What do you mean?” she whispered, feeling guilty Max should think something like that.

“Come on, Helen. ‘Call me Oliver’, it’s obvious the way he feels about you.”

“You’re wrong Max, I have too much baggage for a man like him to want me.”

“Baggage. Are you joking, you have a beautiful family, and you’ve worked hard to keep it all together.” Max took a deep breath. “Look, Helen, whatever happens, just be happy. You deserve it. If it’s not with Oliver, then it will be with someone else.”

“It won’t be with Oliver. I know that for a fact.”

“Never say never, Helen.”

“Thanks Max. Look I’m going to go, I’m so tired, and I miss you all so much, I think I’m going to head for bed, perhaps read for a bit.”

“Goodnight, Helen. Keep us posted as to what your plans are. I don't know how you do this after a full days work though, we’re going to need a vacation when you get back.”

“Thanks so much, Max. I’m sorry if you’ve found it a bit much.”

“Don't be stupid, we’ve enjoyed every moment of it. Now go to bed, and have a good sleep.”

“I will.”

Helen didn’t know if she felt even worse now, she certainly felt lonely, something that had not hit her in all the months since her husband had left. Tonight, in a strange bed, in a strange country, she felt a million miles away from anyone who loved and cared for her.

As she tried to settle down with her book, her mind kept wandering back to Oliver, and how he was coping. What if he didn’t appear in the morning, should she simply go to breakfast, book a flight home? She had no idea what she was supposed to do. In short she missed his reassuring presence. For a woman who had learned to embrace her independence, that was a surprise.

However, Oliver was the take control kind of guy that her husband never had been. After he had left Helen realised she had been dragging them both through their marriage for years. He went along with things for an easy life, the house, the kids, work. It always fell to Helen to arrange their lives, from what was for dinner each evening, to where they took their vacations.

Lying here tonight, she wondered if that was what had pushed him away. And if any man would ever put up with her again. With heavy eyes, she finally drifted off to sleep. Only to be woken up by a knock at the door.

With her heart racing, she went to answer it, and when she saw Oliver standing there she expected the worst. His uncle had died, there was no other reason he could have such an anguished expression on his face.

He shouldn't be here, knocking on her door. There was still time to walk away, to let her go. What right did he have to make her life even more complicated? She had enough to deal with, without having a man offering her ... well, what exactly was he offering her?

A one night stand? Or a lifetime of love and companionship?

“Oliver? Come in. You look dreadful. Is it bad news?”

“Yes. And no.”

She looked so sleepy, and it took a minute for her to frown and say, “Why don’t you come in and tell me what happened.”

This was it. Did he take the final step into her room, or turn and walk away? He knew the right thing to do. However, he was tired of doing the right thing. There was no way he was going to hurt her intentionally. But he had to know if the way she looked at him, the way she gravitated towards him so very slightly when they were close, was an indication of her feelings.

If she said no, he would walk out of her life, give her the reference, just like he’s promised, and leave. Once he had returned her safely to her family of course.

If there was any chance at all that she returned his feelings. He had to know. One way or another, tonight he was going to sort out their relationship.

“Helen, before I do. I want you to know that whatever happens it won’t change the job offer or the references I promised you.”

“This sounds more serious than I feared. Oliver, tell me what’s happened.”

He stepped into the room, and she carefully closed the door, pulling her robe tightly around her. “Do you want to order something from room service? Tea or coffee?”

“I think I might need something a little stronger.” He walked to the mini bar and opened it, taking out two of the small bottles. “You haven’t touched anything in there. Don’t you drink?” He asked, realising he knew nothing about her at all. Nothing other than the big things, like he was in love with her and she had a family to care for. All the small mundane things about her life were a mystery to him. A mystery he wanted to enjoy unravelling at his leisure.

“I thought they were too expensive. I’m not here for pleasure, and so I left them alone.”

“Aren’t you here for pleasure, Helen? Just one small part of you here for some other reason than your job?”

“What’s happened Oliver? You’re scaring me.”

He took the two small bottles and poured the contents into two glasses, handing one to Helen, who took it, and swallowed the contents in one gulp. Damn. He really was frightening her.

With one flip of his wrist, his vanished too, and he placed the glass down carefully. Now he had to explain everything, in the hope that she would be willing to take the next step with him.

She wasn’t sure how much he had already drunk. An understandable reaction to bad news about his uncle, but he unnerved her, as if something in him had shifted.

“I’m sorry, Helen. I feel so out of my depth. An unusual occurrence for a man like me. This is not something I’ve ever had to deal with before.”

“Then start from the beginning, Oliver.”

He laughed shortly. “The beginning. Well, that would be Monday, the day I walked into Max’s office.”

“You mean when we started working on this deal?” She wanted him to mean something else, but couldn’t allow herself the luxury of hope.

“No, Helen. Nothing to do with that damn deal. Which, as of an hour ago is non-existent.”

“Your uncle went with your advice?”

“No. Apparently they wanted to deal exclusively with my uncle, when they heard about his health, and the prospect of me sitting in on the meeting, they cancelled. Apparently the thought of holding a business meeting in a hospital room was too much for the CEO.”

“Oh, Oliver. I’m sorry. That means you had a completely wasted week.”

“No. It doesn’t, Helen. What it does mean is that I’m no longer your boss.”

“I see. Does that mean you aren’t returning to London with me? I can get a flight home on my own, it’s no problem.”

“Helen, I haven’t given any thought to what comes after now.”

“Of course, you’re upset about the deal and your uncle, how rude of me.”

“Helen. The deals gone, my uncle is fine. He only paged Katrina because he figured it was the quickest way to get us to the hospital so he could rant about the deal.”

“What? He isn’t dead, or dying?”

“No. Although by the time Katrina has finished with him he might think that was preferable. I never knew she had it in her.” He smiled, and went back to the mini bar for two more bottles. He held one up to her, and she nodded.

“Thank you,” she said, sipping this one slowly, trying to make some sense of his words.

“What you need to know, is that I have a firm, inflexible rule about not having a personal relationship with my employees.”

“Very wise,” she answered, her breath struggling to escape her throat. The room grew hot and she was sure it span around.

He came to stand directly in front of her, and she couldn’t meet his eyes, too afraid of what she would, or wouldn’t see there. She couldn’t figure out which would be worse, to see her longing for him mirrored in his face, or to see nothing, only the desire to scratch an itch. What would she do if all he wanted was a one night stand?

“Helen. You aren’t stupid. I know you understand what I’m so clumsily trying to say.”

“I still need to hear it.”

He tilted her chin up, and she took a chance, meeting his gaze with her own. His dark eyes were warm, and close up she could see flecks of gold and bronze, making them sparkle and dance. She wanted to lose herself in his eyes, there were no more words to be said. But he said them anyway.

“I want you Helen, since that first day I’ve wanted you. But I couldn’t act on it. But now you are no longer my employee. So here we are. And I need to know if it’s what you want.”

“Is this a one night stand?”

He slid his fingers up her arm, lighting a fire in their wake. “No. This is so much more than that. I want you, I know that means getting your children to accept me. And I swear I will try my hardest to get them to like me. I never want you to have to choose between me and them. I have no idea how any of this is going to work, but I want to try.”

“I don’t know what to say. What to do.”

“Kiss me.”

She looked at his lips, and then her eyes flew back to his. “It’s been such a long time.”

“We have plenty of time to practice.”

She leaned forward, closing her eyes and opening her lips just a little. He groaned, his hand going around her body to press against the small of her back, holding her to him. And then they finally met in their first long awaited kiss. Her brain switched off and instinct took over.

Placing her hands on his shoulders to keep her balance, she relaxed and allowed his tongue to stroke her lower lip. He teased her until the sensitive flesh sent signals to the rest of her body, all her nerve endings begging to be touched by some part of this man. Helen ached for him, so long had she been denied the intimate touch of a man.

Slipping her arms around his neck she threaded her fingers into his hair, feeling the soft texture of each strand, while his stubble grazed her chin. Unbidden thoughts of what that rough hair would feel like grazing her thighs while his mouth pleasured her, made her sex clench in need. If she wasn’t careful she was going to make herself look like a bitch on heat, she felt so desperate for him to make love to her.

He must have had the same idea. Without pausing he manoeuvred them both towards the bedroom. Helen went willingly, but the tension in her body mounted, not only anticipation, but also fear. What if she didn’t please him? Was that the true reason her husband had left, because she was terrible in bed? After having children perhaps things didn’t work properly. Her inner voice poured ice-cold water over her arousal.

Taking a step away from him, she broke their kiss. “I’m sorry, Oliver. I can’t do this.” She wiped her lips, trying to erase the agonising desire to rekindle her need.

“Helen. It’s OK. I understand. You’re scared.” He pushed her hair back from her face, and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. She turned her face, her lips wanting to feel his skin on them. Her breasts ached to be touched by those same fingers. He was a magnet to her body, a pull she couldn’t ignore, but she had to. If she disappointed him she would never live it down. It would haunt her forever.