Hold Me Tight (3 page)

Chapter Five
Ivy

What the heck is that?

Whoosh.
I throw back the covers and lift my head off the pillow. It’s like an incessant puff of air. I listen intently.
Whoosh.
There it is again. It’s close so I know it’s coming from somewhere nearby. All right, now I’m curious. I have to find out what it is.

I tiptoe across the braided throw rug and turn the doorknob, careful not to make a sound. A nightlight is plugged in across the hall, illuminating my way across the gleaming hardwood floor. Tim and I have basically been avoiding each other these last two days. Ever since our awkward cookie encounter, he’s been leaving food outside my door, collecting the empty plates when I’m done. He’s knocked a few times, but I pretended I was sleeping. I didn’t feel like talking to him, especially if he’s going to keep things from me. Even if I’m going stir-crazy sitting up here by myself with nothing better to do than think about Eric and how much I miss him.

I made the decision to leave Eric, and there’s no going back on it now. But a wave of homesickness hits me and I falter. God, I miss him so much. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand, trying to stem my tears. I can’t stand the thought of hurting Eric. But he left me with no other choice. I knew this temporary separation was going to be hard, but if it saves the life of our child, it’ll be worth it. Eric will find it in his heart to forgive me when it’s all over. I know he will.

But it would really help just to hear his voice right now, even if I just call and hang up. Too bad my phone is downstairs in my purse and I haven’t ventured farther than the upstairs bathroom since I arrived. Tim probably has orders from Lauren not to let me talk to Eric. Even if he takes pity on me and lets me make the call, I don’t want to get Eric’s hopes up. He can’t think that I’m calling because I want to come home. I bite my lip, unsure of what to do. I knew allying myself with Lauren was going to be difficult. I just never anticipated how complicated things would get.

But I’m a hormonal woman who needs to hear the father of her unborn baby say hello. I need this for me. Besides, I’m going to have to text Eric about my upcoming doctor’s appointment soon, and maybe this will break the ice. Because despite everything going on between us, I want him to be there for that, holding my hand through another exam.

I march out of the room, resolute. I’m going to call Eric, and no one is going to stop me. I charge down the stairs, hoping I can slip in and out of the living room undetected, but I halt halfway down when I look over and see what Tim is up to.

He’s in front of the fire, shirtless, his abdominals glistening. He’s in the middle of an intense workout session, fluidly moving from a push-up to a sit-up position. Those puffs of air I was hearing were coming from his full lips. No wonder his six-pack is so well defined.

I should look away, but I can’t. I watch him complete a set before he eagerly gulps down the bottle of water at his side. It brings me back to the time Eric poured a bottle of water over his head and carried me into the greenhouse. I grip the railing and let out an involuntary sigh, remembering all the things he did to my body.

“Ivy? Are you all right?”

Tim is glancing up at me, a worried expression on his face. He probably thinks I moaned because I’m in some kind of pain. He has no idea that the sexy noises he was making while he was exercising are what lured me down here.

My emotions are all mixed up. Tim’s sheer masculinity is unsettling me, showing me what I can no longer have, what I had to give up on account of my pregnancy. I have a strong desire to close my eyes and run my fingers down his chest while pretending he’s Eric. I want him to flinch at my touch. I want to make him as uneasy as he’s making me.

My hormones are running wild. I shouldn’t be anywhere near Tim with his broad shoulders and narrow hips. My body shouldn’t be feeling what it’s feeling because in my heart I know he’s not Eric. He’ll never be Eric. Eric’s the only one I’ll ever want like that. But I can’t have him. Not until this baby’s born, and maybe not even then.

“What’s wrong, Ivy? Do you need me to call 911?” Tim comes over, reaching up to stroke my arm.

He probably doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just concerned. But feeling his thumb lazily slide along my wrist is doing all sorts of things to me. I don’t want Tim. I know I don’t want him. But my crazy pregnancy hormones do. God, is this how Cassidy felt whenever she was around him?

I pull my arm away, and Tim lowers his eyes like I’ve wounded him somehow. Can’t he see how wrong this is? I shouldn’t be here. I feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach. Something bad is going to happen if I stay here. Something I’ll regret. I’m craving Eric’s touch, and Tim’s too eager to give it to me.

“I have to call Eric. It’s important,” I blurt out.

Tim takes a step back at hearing Eric’s name. It was probably not the smartest move to let Tim know why I came down here, but he has to realize that I’m off-limits. My heart belongs to Eric. Let him see that I’m not interested in him. And there’s no better way of doing that than by making my intentions clear. It probably goes against his orders from Lauren to allow me to call Eric. Good. Let it drive a wedge between us. The last thing I want to do is send Tim mixed signals. Yeah, I’m tired and vulnerable and insanely horny, but I’m also faithful to Eric. What Tim’s trying to do isn’t going to work. He can grunt and groan and parade around without a shirt all he wants. I’m not biting.

“I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible,” he responds, lowering his eyes.

“And why not?” I walk down the remaining steps and head straight for my purse. “You can’t stop me from calling him, you know.”

Tim stands rooted in place as I hit Eric’s name on my speed dial.

And nothing happens.

“Wait a minute,” I say, shaking my head. Hurriedly, I begin striding around the room, holding up my phone.

“It won’t do any good,” Tim remarks, leaning back against the railing. “There’s no reception out here.”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” I cry out, slowly lowering my arm in defeat when I see that he’s right.

“I know. It sucks.” He folds his arms in front of him, but it just makes his biceps bulge even more.

Damn it. I can’t let his body distract me. I have to stay focused. “Then let me use your landline.”

“No can do, I’m afraid,” he whistles softly. “Lauren pays the bill, so she has access to the call log.”

“So that’s what it’s like to be a kept man, huh?” I taunt him, tossing my phone back in my bag. “Must be uncomfortable to know Lauren’s got you by the balls.”

“It’s not the greatest feeling in the world,” Tim replies, adjusting the waistband of his shorts, drawing my attention to the lower part of his body.

“Very funny.” I roll my eyes and drop into the folds of a comfy suede rocker. “But that doesn’t explain how I’m going to text Eric about my doctor’s appointments. Lauren agreed to that when I signed up for this.”

“Yeah, about that…” Tim hesitates, wiping his body down with the towel draped around his neck before reclining in the chair next to mine. “Lauren told me she wants to be the one who relays those messages to him, not you.”

Tim is basically telling me that Lauren doesn’t want me contacting Eric—no matter what the reason. Apparently, she doesn’t trust me to hold up my end of the deal, even if it means breaking her promise to me.

“I know what this is all about,” I laugh bitterly.

“You do?” Tim tilts his head in my direction.

“Oh yeah. It’s her way of getting back in Eric’s life.” I trace circles with my thumbs along my baby bump, reminding myself to stay calm. “He told me how she used to stalk him after Cassidy died. She’ll do anything to feed her obsession.”

“I’m sorry, Ivy. Lauren asked that I accompany you to all of your appointments. I don’t expect to go in with you or anything.” He blushes, wringing his hands.

“Well, you can forget it, Tim,” I sit up in my chair, inching forward so that my feet touch the floor. “If Eric even sees you in the waiting room, he’ll go ballistic.”

“Still has that temper of his, does he?” Tim inquires, smirking at me.

“You have no right to criticize him after all he’s been through, especially after all you’ve done to him,” I assert hotly.

“Ah, yes. Poor Saint Eric,” he drolls, rubbing his forehead, shading his eyes from me.

“Stop it,” I demand.

“What? He’s never gone off on you?” He lowers his hand to read my expression. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“You don’t know a thing about it,” I protest, not liking how he’s able to read me with a glance.

“I can pretty much sum up that it was some misunderstanding that he blew way out of proportion. Am I right?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. He smirks again when I don’t answer. “Yeah. All my life, I considered Eric to be my best friend—until he threw our friendship away over some stupid argument about Cassidy.”

“Maybe it wasn’t stupid to him,” I retort while my mind wildly ponders the role that Tim held in Eric’s life—a role Eric has never even told me about.

“Well, it kind of sucks when your best friend takes his girlfriend’s word over yours,” Tim elaborates, cracking his knuckles like he’s readying himself for a brawl.

“Maybe he had a good reason to doubt you. You don’t exactly strike me as the trustworthy type.” I cross my ankles and smile coyly at him.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, Ivy. Eric should’ve listened to me. All three of us wouldn’t be in this mess if he had.” He runs the towel through his hands, trying to dispel his nervous energy. “Eric should thank his lucky stars that Lauren brought you to me and not someone else.”

“Oh, is that right? The guy you stabbed in the back by sleeping with Cassidy? Yeah, he should feel real secure knowing that I’m here with you.” I toss my hair over my shoulder in disgust. “I can’t listen to anymore of this nonsense. I’m going to bed.”

“Wait,” he implores, reaching out to lightly touch my arm as I stride by him.

“What?” I ask, trying to ignore the jolt I felt when his fingers brushed my skin.

“This thing with Cassidy… It’s not what you think,” he mutters, raking a hand through his hair.

“Are you telling me you didn’t sleep with her?” I place my hands on my hips, daring him to lie to me.

He puffs out his cheeks before exhaling deeply. “I’m saying I don’t want to get into this right now.”

“You never want to get into it. You make these claims, and then you clam up and won’t explain what you mean. And I’m just supposed to trust what you’re saying? I don’t think so.” I turn on my heel and stomp back up the steps, making sure to take my purse with me this time.

“I’d really like it if you’d join me for breakfast in the morning,” he calls out after me.

“Are you going to give me some answers?” I press, pausing halfway up.

He sighs before responding. “Probably not.”

“Then don’t count on it,” I grumble as I continue on, not even bothering to turn around.

He’s going to have to spill what he knows eventually. He can’t keep stringing me along like this. I get that there’s a lot of history between Eric and Tim, history I knew nothing about until now. I want to hear Tim’s side of it, but I’m also a little afraid to. I don’t think it’ll change my opinion of Eric, but I don’t like not knowing all the details.

I have to find out what really went on between them and what role Cassidy played in breaking up their friendship. Maybe then I could start to repair it.

Tim seems like an okay guy. It’s possible they just fell in love with the same girl and she had a hard time choosing between them, giving them both reason to hope when she could only give herself to one. Did Cassidy sleep with Tim, or is it just another one of Lauren’s lies?

I’m going to have to put my reporter instincts to work and do some digging, because I’m determined to find out who’s telling the truth and who stands to gain by covering it up.

What I’ve come to learn about Lauren Price is that she usually twists the facts to fit her version of reality, especially where Eric’s concerned. So what exactly is she hiding by spinning this web of deceit? It’s obviously something big, and I have a hunch that Tim knows what it is.

And if he plans on going to my next doctor’s appointment and upsetting Eric, there’s no way I’m letting up until I pry it out of his brain.

Chapter Six
Eric

The final bell of the day rings at Glendale High, and I hustle toward the side exit of the gym. Ben shoves it open from inside, beckoning me forward. I bend down and glide along the shrubs beneath the classroom windows, hoping none of the faculty members see me. Security is tight. Adults aren’t allowed in the building unless they’re escorted to the front desk by a guard stationed at the main entrance. Just being on school property, I’m already breaking about a thousand rules.

“Hurry up,” Ben says, anxiously propping the door open with his foot, his head scanning left and right to see if anybody’s watching.

I brush past him, out of breath, and he lets the lock on the metal door click back into place. “Is he here?”

“Yeah. He’s right where we want him. C’mon,” Ben urges, lengthening his stride as we skirt the perimeter of the basketball court. “We don’t have much time. I got some of the guys on the team to help me out, but all bets are off if Coach McKay finds out what we’re up to.”

Ben takes a quick turn into the boys’ locker room, pushing through the swinging double doors with his back. A wave of nostalgia sweeps over me despite the odor of sweat hanging in the air. I spent four of the happiest years of my life at Glendale High. Before Cassidy got sick. Before I lost it all. Back when we were just two kids in love. I even snuck her back here once during an assembly to make out. It was dark. It was private. And everyone else was gathered in the auditorium. No one ever found out about it. And right now, I hope that my track record remains in tact, albeit for a much different reason.

Ben’s sneakers squeak as he ducks around the corner and into the shower area. It’s humid and damp in here compared to the cold, blustery air outside. I expect Ben to stop, but he doesn’t. He passes every stall, going all the way to the end. It’s not until he gets to the last one that he draws back the curtain.

And there’s Ryan sitting bound and gagged on the floor.

He doesn’t see me. His eyes are fixed on Ben. There’s something about the way Ryan’s looking at him that’s making the hair on my arms stand on end—and not in a good way. He tries to talk against the rag jammed in his mouth, but I can’t understand him. Ben seems on edge as he hesitates before bending down to reason with him.

“If you scream, a picture of you like this ends up on Facebook. You got that?” Ben threatens, holding Ryan’s head back. “You don’t want the guys on the team to know the real reason why they dragged you back here, do you? They think they’re just doing me a favor so I can punk your sorry ass for what you did to my brother.”

Ryan shouts against the gag, his face turning red.

“That’s not the way this works, Ry. You’re not the one in control here. If you want me to remove this, then I’m going to need you to cooperate. If you don’t, I’m sure the guy behind me won’t have a problem beating the crap out of you again.”

Ben tugs Ryan around by his ear, causing him to yelp. His eyes widen in surprise when he sees me leaning against the outer edge of the stall. He must have thought this was some kind of prank the football team was playing on him. Boy, he couldn’t be more wrong.

I mockingly tip the brim of my cap, and he howls with rage. He struggles to free himself, even though his hands are tied securely behind his back.

“Ben, I don’t think this is gonna work,” I remark, glancing quickly at my watch. “If he starts whining, he’s never going to tell us what we need to know. I say you let me knock him out and we take him somewhere else.”

“No way. Too risky. I agreed to help you corner him, but that’s as far as it goes. I’m not losing any scholarship offers over this shit.” Ben lets Ryan’s head drop as he begins to pace in front of him.

“Give me something I can use. Anything to get him to open up,” I implore, grabbing Ben by the shoulders, forcing him to concentrate. “I’ll take it from there.”

“I already know what he wants,” Ben sighs.

“Good,” I respond, giving him an encouraging slap on the arm.

“It’s just that I don’t want to give it to him.” Ben nudges me out of the way as he walks despondently toward the row of sinks along the wall. He stares at himself in one of the mirrors before splashing some cold water on his face, gearing up for whatever it is he thinks he has to do.

Suddenly, I feel guilty about making him go through with this. Being around Ryan is making Ben uncomfortable. He vaguely alluded that the two of them had some history together, but I didn’t think it was so intense. The emotions simmering between them are palpable.

I’m about to tell Ben that he doesn’t have to do this when he bends his head and starts speaking in a low voice, “Ryan, I’ll do that thing you like if you just tell us where Ivy is.”

I wince inwardly at whatever Ben’s referring to. It gets Ryan to shut up as he contemplates the offer. Ben doesn’t look up. He braces himself against the sink, looking like he’d love to crawl down the drain and escape all this. His football jersey is bunching up above his belt, revealing a tattoo on the small of his back, one he probably doesn’t want me to see—a swooping letter R.

Ryan issues two sharp grunts, as if trying to say, “Okay.”

“You gonna tell us?” I ask him, pressing the toe of my boot into his back.

He nods somewhat reluctantly, and I hope to God he can be trusted.

“Because if you don’t, I’ll beat it out of you myself. You hear me?” I step down hard on his foot until he groans. He nods again quickly, shooting me an irritated look. It’s killing him to have to go along with my demands, but he’s not doing this for me. There’s obviously something there between him and Ben. Whether or not they both feel the same way about each other is another question entirely. Ben doesn’t seem too thrilled about letting Ryan think he can worm his way back into his life. But knowing the Price family, I can see why. Once they latch on, they never let go.

I lower Ryan’s gag, and he takes a few deep breaths, resting his head against the wall. Ben doesn’t get any closer. In fact, he doesn’t even look over at us. Seeing Ben withdraw into himself makes me want to punch Ryan in the face like I did the night of the gala, but I can’t. We’re going to have to let him go without a scratch and not leave any evidence behind.

“Where is she, douchebag?” I hover over him menacingly.

“Aren’t you gonna love to find out,” Ryan heckles me, his voice raspy.

“Get on with it. We don’t have all day.” I jam my foot into his side until he cries out.

“All right, already!” he exclaims, trying to glance around me to get a good look at Ben.

“Where’s your crazy-ass sister hiding Ivy?” I growl, losing my patience and pulling him back by his hair.

“I get what he promised me first. Then I’ll tell you where she is,” Ryan pants before licking his lips suggestively in Ben’s direction.

“That wasn’t the deal!” Ben shouts from across the room, his voice bouncing off the tiled walls.

“I’ll whisper it in your ear, Benny Boy. I know how much you like that.” Ryan smirks, straining against the plastic garbage bag ties the members of the Glendale High football team have restrained him with.

“You don’t have to do this, Ben. We’ll find her some other way.” My guilty conscience gets the better of me. I feel terrible for having to subject him to Ryan. It wasn’t supposed to play out this way. I promised Ben beforehand that I wouldn’t leave him alone with Ryan.

“It’s all right, Eric. I should’ve seen it coming. I know what he’s like.” Ben walks over to join me, looking down at Ryan sprawled on the floor.

“Forget it. Let’s just get out of here. C’mon, Ben,” I insist, pulling him by the sleeve.

“Yeah. C’mon, Ben,” Ryan mocks me, his eyes never leaving Ben’s face.

“I’ll get what you need out of him,” Ben says, his voice sounding dead to my ears. It’s like he’s already turned off his mind in order to do what he has to do.

“You heard him. Get the hell out,” Ryan orders me haughtily.

I back away, one foot behind the other, hating myself for what Ryan’s making me do. Ben grabs him under the arm, hoisting him to his feet. Ryan doesn’t waste any time pressing him against the wall. I can’t believe what I’m seeing as Ryan runs his tongue down Ben’s cheek before biting him hard on the lip, drawing blood.

Horrified, I keep walking even though I can still hear them.

Ryan chuckles as Ben pushes him away, trying to put some distance between them. But it’s too late. Ryan’s enjoying ripping open the scars he’s inflicted on Ben’s battered psyche.

“Why do you always have to be such a monster?” Ben growls, spitting onto the tile.

“Because that’s how you like it. Don’t lie to me. I know you do,” Ryan cajoles. “Now untie me, lower your pants, and face the wall. I want a taste of what I’ve been missing.”

I increase my pace, not wanting to listen to what’s about to unfold. Is it right to trade Ben’s self-esteem for Ivy’s life? Is it worth sacrificing Ben, allowing Ryan to victimize him like that? I just don’t know anymore.

I make it back out to the empty gym and slide down against the bleachers. I hold my head in my hands, trying to reconcile what’s going on in there, but I can’t. It’s obvious this isn’t the first time that Ryan’s taken advantage of Ben. I definitely wouldn’t classify what they have as a healthy relationship. Ryan is just taking his conflicted feelings about his sexuality out on Ben, making him the perfect whipping boy, a pliable target to direct his anger. He hates himself for being attracted to Ben. So instead of loving Ben, he takes all of his self-loathing out on him, punishing Ben for the sexual urges he brings out in him.

I shouldn’t have gotten Ben involved in this. I don’t know what kind of mixed-up feelings he still has for Ryan, but I can’t stomach what’s going on in there. Ben convinced me to go along with abducting Ryan and forcing the truth out of him, but I never imagined things taking this kind of turn. Sadly, Ben didn’t seem all that surprised.

I didn’t realize the kind of hold Ryan still has over Ben, how he’s able to manipulate him. It doesn’t bode well if Ryan seeks revenge for this hazing stunt somewhere down the road. Yeah, Ryan has Ben all to himself now, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to keep him satisfied for long.

The doors swing open, and Ben strides out, disheveled, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. The arm of the t-shirt underneath his jersey is already soaked through with blood. He’s shaking as he tries to steady himself and hold it together in front of me.

I don’t know what to think. This big macho guy, the stud of the football team, undone by a wiseass runt like Ryan Price. It offends the rules of nature.

“You all right, man?” I ask, getting to my feet.

But Ben backs away like he doesn’t want me to touch him. He just shakes his head.

“Listen, if he didn’t tell you where Ivy is, we’ll find some other way.” I grimace, shoving my hands in my pockets, not knowing what else to say.

“He told me,” Ben whispers gruffly, that eerie faraway quality still evident in his tone.

“He did? Where is she?” I ask, advancing toward him, trying not to get too worked up over the news considering what he just went through to get it.

“You’re gonna hate me, Eric,” Ben states blankly, looking down at his shoelaces.

“C’mon, man. What are you talking about? Where have they got Ivy?” I urge as I move to stand directly in front of him.

His busted lip quivers, and blood dribbles from the corner of his mouth. “She’s with Tim,” he says, running the back of his hand across his face. “She’s with my brother.”

I blink uncomprehendingly for a minute before I lose it.

I grab a fistful of his jersey as I rear back to hit him. Ben winces and closes his eyes. My fist is in midair, but somehow I manage to curb my aggression as I roughly shove him away from me.
What the hell am I doing?
The dude’s already been through enough. I lower my fist and turn away, furious with myself over my reaction. I have to get out of here.

“Wait!” Ben calls after me, sprinting to catch up. “We’ll take my truck. They’re at my uncle’s old homestead outside of town. Tim will never suspect that you’re with me. I’ll hide you in the back.”

I stop and look up at the various championship banners hanging from the rafters, the one from Tim’s record-setting year with the swim team staring me in the face.

“I swear, I didn’t know she was with him, Eric,” Ben insists, trying to talk over his swollen lip. “I swear.”

My shoulders rise and fall, but I don’t say anything.

“C’mon, man. We can have Ivy home by dinnertime if we hurry.” Ben starts walking ahead of me, but I don’t follow and he stops. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I’m not going anywhere near that farmhouse. If that’s where Ivy is, she can stay there as far as I’m concerned.” I storm out the door. I don’t want Ben following me or giving me any more lame excuses. I’m not going to change my mind. I’m dead serious.

If Ivy knowingly went with Tim, then it really is over between us.