Hope for Him (Hope Series Book #2) (5 page)

I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her hard, tasting her, and suppressed a flinch when I noticed how different she felt in my arms. It was strange to taste her lips and feel her soft skin and press into her while Carrington occupied my every thought.

We had sex up against the wall, and I couldn't tell you how she felt or how she sounded. I got what I needed and left her alone up against the wall.

She wasn't into confrontation. She was used to getting what she wanted but not when it came to me. With me, she took whatever I gave her and seemed content. 

She would never get from me the one thing she wanted. My last conversation with Carrington confirmed it. My heart already belonged to someone else. 

C
arrington Olivia Butler

I hid my disappointment when Jackson said he wouldn't be around. I wanted to see him and tell him my plans. I didn't want to show up on campus and say,
hey, I'm here
.

I didn't want to tell him over the phone, either. I needed to see his face. See his eyes, make sure what we shared a few weeks ago was as real to him as it was to me.

I ended up going to Orlando alone. I decided not to bring Jack. I needed some time to deal with Mr. Griffin on my own.

I arrived at Orlando airport and was greeted by a petite redheaded girl. She wore an emerald green wrap dress and black strappy sandals and a delicate diamond pendant around her neck. She had a cellphone in one hand and a sign with my name on it in the other.

She typed away at her phone with one hand as I approached.

"I'm Carrington."

She looked up from her phone. Her forehead wrinkled.

"You're Carrington Butler?" Her high-pitched voice matched her stature, but she seemed less polished than she appeared.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"You want to see my driver's license?"

"No, you're gorgeous. I was expecting some poor, trashed-out little thing, but you’re beautiful."

"What did you think? I was some poor little black girl who got knocked up by Mr. Griffin's son."

"Honestly, no one knows the whole story so I think we kind of made it up. Not in front of Mr. Griffin, of course."

"Of course."

"I'm sorry. This is not appropriate at all. I am working on being more professional. My name is Kayla Griffin. Uncle Griffin asked me to meet you and introduce myself because I'll be attending FSU in the fall as a transfer, and he thought we could be friends. Also, I am an early education student and love kids. If you need any help with Jackson, I'm a great babysitter."

She spoke fast, but with a central Florida drawl. I liked her, but her eyes darted around and she kept fidgeting.

"Mr. Griffin is your uncle?"

"Yeah, he and my dad are brothers." She turned to a guy in a black suit and white shirt and motioned for him to approach. "This is Andrew. He's Uncle Griffin's driver and bodyguard."

"Miss Carrington, welcome to Orlando. Can I take your bag?"

I handed my suitcase over and followed them as we headed to a waiting limo.

"Where are we going?"

"We'll drop you off at the hotel and let you freshen up. Mr. Griffin asked me to entertain you tonight, and he would meet you for breakfast in the morning."

We rode the rest of the way to the hotel in silence while Kayla texted someone on her phone every few minutes. I wondered if she was reporting back to Mr. Griffin.

We pulled up in front of the hotel. The salty air hit me as I exited the car. I inhaled.

Kayla got out and walked into the lobby with me.

"We already checked you in. Here's the key. I am staying in the hotel while you’re here, so we can head out for dinner around seven thirty. We'll go to Universal Studios and eat at Emeril's and hang out there or if you have another place in mind."

"Kayla, are you here to keep an eye on me? I can take care of myself."

"No, it's nothing like that. I swear. I'm so sorry about what happened to you and want to make it up to you. Let you know that all Griffins aren't racist, narcissistic, money hungry, legacy protecting assholes."

She forgot ignorant and sadistic.

"I know you don't have any reason to trust us, but I promise no ulterior motives."

"Okay. I'll meet you down here at seven."

"Yay," Kayla said and clapped her hands together.

I enter the hotel room, happy to have a moment to myself. What had I gotten myself into? I assumed the Griffin bloodline stopped with Josh or I guess with Jack.

I collapsed on the bed and called my mom.

"Hey. You made it."

"Yeah. They put me up in a hotel suite. I feel like the room is bugged, and I should be careful what I say."

"Am I allowed to tell you that you’re being paranoid?"

"Mom, you don't know the things this man has said and done. I have a right to be suspicious." 

Since Mr. Griffin came back into my life, I've gone back and forth on whether I was doing the right thing. I didn't think people could change in such a short period of time.

"Have an open mind and remember you're in control."

"Okay. How's my little guy?"

"He is fine. He keeps running around looking for you, but Grandpa is distracting him."

"Good. Can I talk to him on FaceTime?"

"Okay, hold on."

I activated the camera and waited for her to come back. When his little face appeared on the screen, my heart dropped. I bit my lip and smiled.

"Hi, Jacky."

"Mommy."

"Hey." Tears formed in my eyes, even though I just saw him not six hours ago.

"Mommy, Grand Pa." Jack pointed to where my dad sat on the couch.

"Yeah, I see you and Grand Pa. You having fun with Grand Pa?"

His face dropped below the frame and he popped back up and giggled.

"Are you playing peek-a-boo?"

He giggled, dropped, and popped back up.

"I see you."

He giggled so hard that when he dropped this time, he fell on the ground. I could hear his sweet little laugh, and I said a quick prayer.

Please God, no matter what happens, please don't let him lose his joy.

I feared only God would have the power to prevent the Griffins and their money from ruining my son.

I hung up and got ready to meet Kayla in the lobby. When I arrived, she stood in the middle of the lobby peering up at a tall guy with the same red hair. I figured they were siblings until he leaned over and kissed her on the lips.

She didn't notice me until I stood in front of them. She stepped away from him, and her pale skin blushed a deep red.

"Oh. Hey. Carrington, this is Jamie. My boyfriend."

"Hi, Jamie." I shook his hand, and he leaned over and kissed it. It was way over the top but so cute.

Kayla beamed with pride.

"Do you mind if Jamie joins us for dinner?"

"Not like I would say no to his face." Both their faces dropped. "I'm kidding. No, of course, I don't mind."

"Oh. Okay, cool."

We headed outside to Andrew, who waited next to the limo.

I sat in the back; Kayla and Jamie sat on the bench. They held hands and batted their long red eyelashes at each other.

Jamie caught me staring and winked at me.

"Babe, I think we’re making Carrington uncomfortable."

"No, it's fine."

"Sorry. Jamie came down to visit before he has to get back to school."

"Where do you go to school?"

"The New School of Social Research in New York."

"That's where we met," Kayla said. "I went to NYU my freshman year and would be there still if I hadn't fallen in love."

"You can't blame me for you getting kicked out of school."

"Yes, I can, and I will. If I hadn't met you, I would have gone to class instead of spending all my time with you."

"So, how did I manage to maintain my GPA and still fall in love with you?"

"Easy. I love you enough to allow you to succeed."

"Oh, Babe."

Her logic made no sense, and if I had any doubt before, I was convinced now that she was a little nuts, but a pang of jealousy hit my heart. They were adorable together, and it made me miss Jackson.

#

J
ackson Latre Mitchell

Carrington called when she returned from Orlando. The Griffins laid it on strong. She seemed cautious but optimistic. Leave it to my girl to not be bought so easy.

I needed to stop that. She wasn't my girl.

California distracted me and didn't allow me to obsess over the mess that was my love life. I worked my ass off from six am to six pm and collapsed in bed exhausted each night. I had weird dreams some nights, but most nights I slept sound. Every morning, I called Tiffany and every couple of days I called Carrington, the first out of obligation and the second out of need. I couldn't determine why I held on to Tiffany. Something about her made me not ready to give her up. I was punishing myself; I couldn't have the one I wanted, so I took what I thought I deserved.

How fucked is that?

I had spent a few days at home before I headed to New Orleans.

After much convincing, Tiffany persuaded me to allow her to come for a couple of days. She said she had to talk to me about something and wanted to do it before heading back to campus in the fall.

I couldn't imagine what she had on her mind. I didn't stress about it. The Manning Academy invited me to come work with the kids. It was an amazing honor, and I got to hang out with NFL quarterback legends like Peyton and Eli. I had attended the passing academy when I was in high school, so it was cool to return and pass on what I learned.

When I arrived, I found Tiffany sitting by herself in the lounge off to the side of the lobby. Her yellow sundress fit her body and the contrast with her pale skin made her look older. I figured she would be happy to see me, but her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. She rubbed under her eyes and glared at me as I walked toward her. When I stood in front of her, her gaze darted around the lobby.

She stood up and although she looked ready to knock my head off, she hugged me, held onto me like her sanity depended on it. I hugged her back and rubbed her back until her body relaxed.

The sexual attraction I felt when Tiffany touched me crept in, and I couldn't wait to get her upstairs.

The expectant look on her face broke my heart. She was in love with me, and I knew it.

I kissed her softly and a whimper escaped from her lips.

"Let's go upstairs." I took her hand and turned toward the elevator.

"Can we talk down here first?"

I searched her eyes, and they told me everything she wanted to say. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it.

"Sure." I led her over to a set of sofas hidden from the lobby. I sat down and she sat next to me. I turned to face her, but she stared straight ahead.

"What's up?"

"If you don't want me. Please," her throat caught and she sucked in a breath, "please tell me now."

"Tiff?"

"Wait. I need to say this before I lose my nerve." She let out a breath and turned to face me. Her leg rubbed up against mine, and I had to push the spark I felt out of my head and concentrate on the words coming out of her mouth. "I love you. I have for a while, but I don't know why."

"Tiffany, I don't know what to say." I pulled at a string on my cargo shorts, and avoided looking her in the eyes.

"I'm not an idiot. I know you don't love me, but you could if you gave us half a chance. If you did more than have sex with me and allow me to occupy your space every once in a while, you could fall in love with me. I'm an amazing girl."

"Tiff, what do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything except to know you want to be with me."

"I do," I said, but it came out as a question and not an exclamation.

She stood up, but I grabbed her hand before she could walk away. I didn't want her to walk away. She was right. I'd never given her a chance. I'd never given us a chance because my mind clung to something I knew could never happen.

"I know you've had a hard year. Your best friend killed himself and you never talk about him. In fact, there isn't one piece of evidence of him in your life and you're still struggling. And if being a part of Carrington's life helps you deal, if taking care of Josh's son helps you work through it, then I am all for it. I understand. I didn't get it before—it was weird—but I get it now. I'm sure she needs you, but I want you to give me a chance to help you, too."

It caught me off guard, but what she said made sense. I rubbed my eyes. Tiffany reached out and rubbed her hand along my jaw. I grabbed her hand and held it to my lips. I didn't want to cry. Didn't want to show so much emotion because girls always took that as a sign. I wasn't ready to connect with her like that, but I wasn't ready to let her go. Tiffany needed something from me, and I wanted to give it to her. I didn't want her to think the time we spent together had been a waste. I wasn't a complete asshole.

I let out a sigh and kissed her hand. She sat back down.

"I don't know if I can give you what you want. I know I can't give you what you deserve. Not now."

"I need you to give me more."

"How?"

"You can start by talking to me."

"What do you want to know?"

I studied her face; her skin had more color and she seemed back to her confident self.

"For starters, you can tell me if you're as horny as I am?" she asked and giggled.

Hell, if that is all, this is going to be easier than I thought.

I leaned over and kissed her and bit her bottom lip.

"Let's go."

I checked in and held her hand as we headed to the elevator. We ran into a couple of quarterbacks from other schools. We shook hands and guy hugged before the elevator arrived.

"Hey, guys. This is my girlfriend, Tiffany." They both shook hands with her, and her eyes sparkled from the introduction. She appreciated the label. She was in love with me, and it was nice to hear it and feel it. One thing about Tiffany I admired was the way she put herself out there. She told me how she felt with no concern of the potential consequences.

Carrington didn't do that. It wasn't a fault; it was a symptom of her circumstances. I couldn't do it, but maybe I could learn how.