Ink Inspired-epub (8 page)

Shea had had enough.

“What is your problem, Mother? What have I ever done to deserve your scorn? You’ve beat on me since I was a little girl. Oh, you’ve never raised a hand to me. That would be too low-born. Yet you’ve never found me good enough. I’ve always been lacking. Tell me, Mother, what have I done?”

Her mother froze, her mouth gaping like a fish’s before it thinned. “What have you done? Nothing!” She threw up her hands. “Nothing. You’ve always been a worthless leech. I’ve done all I could to ensure your place in our society. I’ve planned and perfected the perfect marriage, and yet look what you’ve done. You’ve thrown it all away. And for what? A tattooed thug who wouldn’t be fit to lick my pumps.”

Her mother knew about Shep?

“How the hell do you know about my boyfriend? And, for the record, don’t talk about Shep like that. You know nothing about him.”

“I know everything about him, darling. Don’t you understand? I know all. It just takes a little money and a little shove and I know everything. I know about your trolling around town like a common trollop. He can’t even take you on real dates. No. He takes you to places like cemeteries. God. He’s an axe murderer waiting to happen, and you’re cavorting with him? No. Not anymore, darling. Not anymore.”

“You’ve had me followed?” Shea knew better than to assume her mother had followed her. There would be no way in hell her mother would lower herself to actually do the work on her own. Shea was surprised the woman had even taken the time to venture this far.

Something must be up the woman’s sleeve.

Dread crawled up her spine, and she raised her chin, preparing herself.

“Of course I have. I’ve never stopped, Shea. You think you’ve left the family, but you haven’t. We’ve let you take this break so you can
find
yourself, but now it’s time to come back. Richard was understandably upset you couldn’t make it to brunch, but he’s still prepared to take you back. Of course we’re compensating him for his trouble. It’s only proper.”

Shea blinked. “You’ve
paid
him to marry me? This isn’t Regency England! I don’t need a freaking dowry.”

“Watch your mouth and keep a civil tone. Richard will have to strike that out of you if it continues.”

Had her mother really just said her want-to-be-husband had to hit her? Jesus, the woman was certifiable.

“Mother—”

Her mother raised her hand, cutting her off. “No. I don’t want to hear your excuses. You will leave this job immediately. You’ve already shown me that you can’t keep up with the work. Just look at that messy desk of yours. A true Little would have at least excelled at their chosen profession. You couldn’t even do that.”

“That’s not my work. I’m great at what I do. Stop cutting me down.”

Her mother narrowed her eyes. “I don’t like this new attitude of yours. At least when you left the family before, you did it with your eyes downcast like the little bitch you are. Now? Now I blame that tattooed thug for putting thoughts into your head. You’re nothing, Shea. That thug is even less than you are. In another world, you two would be perfect for each other. Now? In this world, you’re nothing. You’re needed for the family, and you won’t be allowed to slack on your responsibilities any longer. I won’t have it.”

Rage poured through her. “You won’t have it? Who do you think you are? You’re not my mother. You’re just a shrewish bitch who doesn’t understand she can’t control me. Leave me alone. Can’t you understand that I’m happier without the family? You’ll notice not once have you mentioned Daddy’s name. Why is that? Is it because he doesn’t care one way or another? He’s never cared, Mother. I don’t care either. Just leave me alone.”

Her mother flinched at the mention of her husband.

Direct hit.

Sadly, it didn’t make Shea feel any better.

“Leave your father out of this. You’ve never been good enough for him either. You’re the reason he ignores the things he does. You.”

“Whatever you say, Mother. Now leave please. I’m tired and have work to do. Then I’m going to see Shep because I’m thirty-two years old and far beyond the age of caring what my mother says. Especially when all she spews is vitriol and hate. I’m done.”

Her mother’s lips thinned even more. If the woman wasn’t careful, she’d run out of lips to thin.

“You can try, Shea. Oh, you can certainly try. But if you don’t meet Richard tonight for dinner and say yes to his offer, I’ll ruin that thug,
Shep
, and everything he touches.”

Shea froze. “What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Watch your language.”

“Fuck my language!” she screamed. “Tell me what you mean. You can’t hurt Shep. He means nothing to you. He’s not part of
your
circles and thank God for that,” she spat.

Her mother raised her chin. “Oh, yes, he’s certainly not part of that. He’ll never be part of that. But what he is, is a lowlife with no college education who does something prisoners do in a jail cell.”

“Shep’s art is brilliant. You know nothing about him. Stop putting him down.”

“He’s
nothing
. With just a few phone calls, I can close that harbor of harlots, Midnight Ink. I’ll make it so he can’t even draw with chalk on the street without the police on his back for some crime or another. I’ll ruin him, Shea. Don’t think I won’t. And if you still refuse to stay away from him, I’ll ruin that other shop in Denver, Montgomery Ink. I’ll ruin them all.”

The determined glint in her mother’s eyes made Shea want to throw up.

As it was, bile filled her mouth, and she fought to control her shaking.

Jesus.

Who
was
this woman?

“You…you can’t do that,” Even to Shea’s ears, she knew her voice sounded weak.

Of
course
her mother could do that. The woman lived for things like this. She had connections through money and the family everywhere.

Shep could actually lose everything because her mother was a selfish, vindictive shrew.

Jesus.

“You know I can, Shea. You know I’d crush him under my shoe without even batting an eyelash. I’d enjoy it too.”

Shea swallowed hard. “Why? Why do you want to do this?”

“We need Richard’s family,” her mother snapped. “We might have money and power in this state, but Richard’s has it throughout the entire country. Together we can go even further. You know Richard has political ambitions. With you by his side, our family will be in the hallowed halls for generations. We will be remembered. Eternal.”

The woman had to be crazy.

Certifiably insane.

“If you don’t leave him, I’ll take it all from him, Shea. You have until tonight.”

With that, her mother turned on her expensive heels and left Shea standing alone in her office.

Broken.

Shea staggered back, her feet barely working as she bumped into her desk. A stack of papers fell to the floor, but she ignored them.

What was she going to do?

This couldn’t be happening. Her mother couldn’t just come into her life and try to regain the control she’d had for so long.

Shea closed her eyes, the tears she hadn’t noticed before falling harder.

She’d lose Shep.

To ensure his life remained as he knew it, to ensure his happiness, she’d lose him.

Her arms went numb, her chest tingling.

God.

She couldn’t lose him. She’d just found him.

She’d finally stood up to her mother with her chin held high, and it was for naught. Her mother always had the upper hand, the ace up her sleeve, and now she had what would guarantee the end of the life Shea wanted to build with a man she loved.

No matter how much she thought she could fight it, her mother would fight harder to punish Shea for the faults and wrongdoings she’d never actually committed.

That was the type of woman her mother was.

Shea didn’t know how to fight against it.

Oh, she might have learned to fight for herself and would fight to the ends of the earth for Shep, but to risking hurting Shep beyond measure fighting against her mother when she knew she couldn’t win?

No.

She couldn’t do that.

She’d have to in order to make sure he could live without her.

She’d marry Richard and break completely in the process.

She’d do anything for Shep.

Even leave him.

She cleaned up the stack of papers she’d dropped and put them on top of the other stack of papers that she’d leave to the other accountants.

Hell. She was really giving up.

This was the person her mother had made her, the person she’d fought so hard not to be.

She hated it.

“Shea? I brought coffee.”

The sound of Shep’s voice startled her, and she dropped the papers in her hand on the floor. She cursed again—inwardly reminding herself she’d have to stop that when she married Richard—and bent to pick them up.

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby, for scaring you. Here, let me help with that.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Shep put down two coffee cups and a bag of something and walk toward her.

She had to turn away.

It hurt too much to face him.

She would just have to slink away like the coward she was.

“I’ve got it. I’m actually kind of busy right now. You’ve caught me at a bad time.” Her voice was ice, just like it had been before she’d walked into Midnight Ink the first time and clapped eyes on the man she’d fallen in love with.

“Hey, what’s up? What’s wrong?” He put his hand on her elbow, turning her toward him. She lowered her head, unable to meet his gaze. “Talk to me.”

“You need to go, Shep.” The words were torn from her, bile rising in her throat yet again.

He lifted her head with a finger on her chin. “Why, Shea? Why do I need to go?”

“You…you have to leave. This has been fun. It really has, but I need to go back to my life. I’ve changed my mind about the tattoo. I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want you anymore.”

She held back the tears, the agony unbearable.

Pain flashed across Shep’s face before his expression went carefully blank. “What?”

“I…I can’t be with you anymore. We’re different people. You’re so…you. So vibrant. So…Midnight Ink. I am ice. I’ve always been ice, and I will always be ice. You need to go, Shep.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Shea?”

“You need to go, Shep. We can’t see each other anymore. It’s over.”

He looked down at her, wearing that same expression he’d worn when she’d first asked for her tattoo at Midnight Ink.

“No.”

“No,” Shep repeated, keeping the anger—the anguish—at bay. “No. You don’t get to do this.”

“No? Why do you keep saying that? You can’t just say no and get what you want.” Her chin wobbled, and Shep clenched his jaw. Something was going on here, something more than fear of commitment or whatever he thought it might have been at first.

No, this was something much worse.

Shea was scared about something, and he’d be damned if he let her end it now because of it.

“I said no in the shop because you had no fucking clue what you wanted inked on your body, Shea. It’s permanent. It’s not a fucking dress or some shit like that.”

Her head snapped back as though he’d slapped her, and he took a breath through his nose. Shit. He hadn’t meant to lash out, but he was just so fucking angry that she was trying to leave him.

He’d never wanted a committed relationship before, yet now he wanted one.

With Shea.

She didn’t get to leave.

Not when he knew she wanted the same thing.

Or least
had
wanted.

“I know a tattoo isn’t a dress or pair of shoes, Shep. I’m not an idiot. Don’t treat me like one.”

“Then don’t treat
me
like an idiot and lie to me. You’re leaving because you’re done with me? Fuck that. You’re lying. Now tell me what the fuck is going on.”

She swallowed hard, his gaze following the long lines of her throat. “I’m done, Shep. I don’t want this.” Her voice broke, but she didn’t let the tears in her eyes fall. “Just go. Please.”

He cupped her face, and she tried to move back. He tightened his grip, not enough to hurt, but to show her he wasn’t letting her go.

Not without an explanation.

Maybe not ever.

“You don’t get to leave me, Shea. Not when I know you’re leaving because you’re scared. If you didn’t want me anymore? I’d know. You wouldn’t be on the verge of breaking down. Something scared you. What was it, baby?”

She closed her eyes. “Let me go, Shep. I…I can’t do this. I can’t let you get hurt.”

Hurt?

“Tell me, Shea.”

“I can’t.”

“Is it your family?” Her eyes opened, and she nodded. Okay. He was getting warm. “You aren’t who your family is, Shea. You aren’t the person your mother wants you to be.” She flinched. “Baby, you’re so much fucking more. You’re a breath of fresh air and so fucking amazing that I want to find every single layer of your soul and wrap myself in it. I love you so fucking much, Shea. Can’t you see that?”

Her breath quickened. “Don’t say that, Shep. You can’t mean that.”

“Stop it. You don’t get to tell me how I feel. I love you. I’ve never loved anyone other than my family, so don’t tell me I’m wrong. I fucking
love
you.”

“You’re trying to tell me how I feel!”

“Because you’re lying to yourself! You aren’t the person your family thinks you are, or should be, Shea. You aren’t who
you
think you are.”

She sighed.

He was getting closer.

“I want you, Shea. I want everything. I want the woman I went with on those nights. I want the woman in the prim dress and fuck-me heels. I want everything.”

“Shep.”

“No, let me finish. I want you to get that tattoo. I want to mark your body with your soul then mark you with me. I want you to look down at yourself and know I love you.”

The tears started falling.

“Then, baby, I want your brand on my body. I want you to look at me and know I love you.”

“Shep.”