Johanna's Bridegroom (8 page)

“Did you tell anyone else that he’d refused to marry me?”

“Ne.”
Charley shook his head. “Nobody. Just Mary.”

“So I’ll have to find out who Mary confided in, because Ruth heard a completely different story from Dorcas. Her mother told her that I didn’t want to marry Roland.” Johanna grimaced. “Now the neighborhood is talking about us, and they don’t even have the story right.”

“I’m sorry, Johanna. I feel awful. I should have kept my mouth shut.” The horse pawed the ground, and Charley reined him in a tight circle. “Hope you aren’t too mad at me.”

Johanna shook her head. “No, not mad. Of course, if Roland hadn’t said anything to you, none of this would have happened.”

He sat there for a moment. “Oh, Miriam wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go fishing with us on Saturday. We bought tickets to go out on a charter boat in the Delaware Bay. For trout. Eli was going to go, but now he can’t. Miriam knows how much you like fishing, and Eli’s giving away the ticket. Anna said she’d be glad to watch Katy and Jonah for you.”

“I haven’t been fishing in the bay for years, not since Katy was born. I’d like that.”

“We’ve got a driver. Be ready at five. And pack a big lunch. They have water and soft drinks on the boat.”

Johanna heard someone call her name and turned to see
Mam
and Aunt Martha coming toward her, dragging Snowball behind them on a length of clothesline. “Did you lose something?”
Mam
asked.

“You caught her. I hope she didn’t tear up too much of the garden.”

“No sheep born that can get away from me,” Aunt Martha proclaimed proudly. “You’ve just got to show an animal who’s boss.”

It was all Johanna could do to not start laughing again. Aunt Martha had dirt and bits of wool stuck to the front of her dress and apron. Her shoes were caked with dirt, her
Kapp
was wrinkled and nearly falling off the back of her head, and there was a big smudge on her cheek and another on her nose.

Charley choked and began coughing, said a hasty goodbye and rode off, leaving Johanna struggling to maintain her dignity.

“I almost had her in the lettuce,”
Mam
said, “but she broke loose and ran through the beans. I don’t know where she’d be if Martha hadn’t dove on her back and rode her to a standstill.”

Johanna’s eyes widened. “You did that, Aunt Martha?”

Aunt Martha nodded vigorously. “That beast deserves nothing better than to be carved up and served with new potatoes and baby beets. She’s a danger to life and limb.”

Mam’s
smile spread across her face and her eyes twinkled. “You’re just lucky that Martha was here when you needed her, Johanna,” she said. “Otherwise, it would have been a real disaster.”

Aunt Martha beamed. “I always did have a hand with sheep,” she boasted as she glanced at
Mam
and began to chuckle. “And just between us women, I haven’t had so much fun in a month of Sundays.”

Chapter Eight

R
ibbons of lavender and peach uncoiled on the eastern horizon as Johanna, Miriam, Charley and three other Amish men climbed onto the deck of the charter boat
Gone Fishin’
IV.
Overhead, Johanna heard the screech of seagulls and, below, the lap of gray-green waves against the weathered dock. The tangy air smelled of salt marsh and bay, and even though it was early, the night dampness was already evaporating from the shore, leaving a promise of a glorious day.

Bowers Beach, the small bayside fishing village, teemed with pickup trucks and boat trailers. Excited sportsmen and commercial fishermen rushed to stock up on bait and ice and launch their vessels. Off the stern of the charter boat, seemingly oblivious to the commotion, a mallard hen bobbed on the choppy waves, trailed by seven tiny yellow-and-brown ducklings. Gulls shrieked and dove for scraps in the shallows, and Johanna caught sight of a huge horseshoe crab lurking in the shadows of the dock. She leaned so far over the gunnel to watch it that, for a moment, she struggled to keep her balance. Then, out of nowhere, someone snatched her back from the edge of the boat.

“Careful,” a familiar male voice warned. “Don’t want to have you fall overboard. That water’s too cold to suit me, and I’d have to dive in and pull you out.”

Johanna’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned to him. “Roland! What are you doing here?” She took a step back from him, planting her hand on her hip. “And, if you recall, the last time one of us fell into the pond,
I
had to rescue
you.
”

A shy grin lifted the corners of his mouth and added sparkle to his eyes. “I was nine, and I didn’t know how to swim yet.”

“I was younger than you, but my
dat
made certain his girls all knew how to swim.”

Roland grimaced. “You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”

Johanna turned away, glancing at the water. There was no way this was coincidence, she and Roland being on the same charter boat. It had to be a plot cooked up by her sister and brother-in-law, but Roland was obviously in on it, too. She supposed that she should be angry, but she couldn’t help finding it just a little funny. The horseshoe crab she’d been watching had vanished into the dark depths under the dock.

One of the reasons she’d agreed to come on this fishing trip was to get away from thinking about Roland, and trying to explain to family and friends what had and hadn’t happened between them. But instead of leaving her trouble back at Seven Poplars, she was trapped on this fishing boat with him for the entire day.

Can’t run away from stuff you fear,
Johanna heard her father whisper from the shadows of her mind.
Be it a rotten tooth or a bad mule, may as well face it down,
he’d always advised. And
Dat
was right. She couldn’t run from Roland...didn’t know if she wanted to. That was the trouble...she didn’t know what she wanted, and just being near him made her common sense fly out the window.

“You didn’t answer my question,” she said, turning back to Roland. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m on this boat to catch fish—same as you.”

What Roland said was mild enough, but the expression on his face—when she turned to face him—was smug. And they both knew that fishing wasn’t his entire reason for being there.

For just an instant, she had the most wicked urge to give him a good shove overboard. She imagined what a big splash he would make. But she couldn’t do that, no matter how much satisfaction it might give her. Charley and Miriam were probably watching, waiting to see what she would do. They were hoping for a show, and she was determined not to give them one.

It was too late to chicken out and just go home. The captain had already started the boat’s engines, and they were pulling away from the dock. Besides, the driver who’d brought them in his van had already left, and wouldn’t return until five o’clock. She would have to deal with Roland, no matter what his ulterior motive. She had come here to go fishing. She wouldn’t let Roland ruin her day.

After a moment’s thought, she offered her hand. “Truce?”

He returned her smile and shook on it. “As I said, just wanted to go fishing.”

Why did she doubt that? And why did the sight of him, standing there, so tall and appealing, make her heart beat just a little faster?
You’re too old for this nonsense,
she told herself. Her head had been filled with ideas of romance once, and life had taught her differently. But why did her hand tingle from the touch of his? And why did her chest tighten and her stomach feel as if she’d swallowed a handful of goose down?

“And maybe I came so I could see you,” he admitted. “Just as a bonus.”

She leaned against the cabin, enjoying the feel of the boat rocking gently under her. “I thought we’d agreed that this was a mistake...looking for a match between us.”

His eyes were shaded under the brim of his straw hat. Oddly, it disappointed her that she couldn’t see the expression in them. Roland had never been good at hiding from her what he was thinking. He didn’t answer.

“Whose idea was it for you to come?” she asked softly. She wondered what had ever possessed her to propose marriage to Roland in the first place. That was what had caused all this upset. It would have been better for her and Roland both if she had just let things remain as they were, rather than stirring up feelings from long ago.

Her life with
Mam,
her children, her sisters and her faith were all fine just the way they were. Seeking out Roland had been a mistake that just made things more complicated. “Whose idea was it,” she repeated, “for you to come on the boat and not tell me?”

“Charley’s.”

Johanna’s eyes narrowed. “And Miriam’s? She had to be in on it.” Wait until she got her sister alone. She’d give her a good piece of her mind. Johanna sighed. “Nothing has changed, Roland,” she said. She looked up at him again. “But we used to be friends...a long time ago. Maybe we could just be friends again...for today.”

He stepped close to her, steady despite the rocking of the boat as it sliced through the waves. “You know I want to be more than friends, Johanna.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “If we’re going to have a truce today, you have to promise not to talk about that anymore.”

“You’re tough,” he murmured, switching to Pennsylvania Dutch.

“Tough enough to catch more fish than you,” she answered in the same dialect.

“I guess we’ll just have to see about that.” He didn’t move away, and they stood there, watching as the dock grew smaller and smaller in the wake of the
Gone Fishin’ IV.

Three middle-aged Amish men from one of the other church districts had taken spots on the deck a few yards away. She knew them by name, but not well. One man owned a greenhouse, and the other two, she thought, worked as masons. Johanna couldn’t see her sister or Charley. They were probably hiding out on the other side of the boat, as well they should.

A black-and-white osprey soared overhead on powerful wings, with a fish caught in its talons. She watched it until the beautiful bird was out of sight. Already, the sky was growing much brighter, and the rising sun painted a wide swath of the rippling water orange-gold. Other boats passed them, motors roaring, and a buoy bobbed as the
Gone Fishin’s
captain went around it. A family on a pontoon boat in the distance had already anchored, and Johanna could see a boy Jonah’s age lowering a crab line over the side while a woman dipped a long-handled net into the waves.

Johanna stared at the churning surface of the water, inhaling deeply. She’d always loved the smell of the salt air. It took her back to all the times
Dat
had taken them fishing, crabbing and wading in the ocean when she was a child. They’d gone every summer since she’d been born...until he died. Her father had been a good swimmer, and he’d taught them all to swim, including
Mam
and Susanna. Susanna was still awkward, but she’d become an expert at floating and could keep her head above water as well as any of them.

It had been important to
Dat
that they all learned to swim because of a boating tragedy that happened when he was a teenager. An Amish youth group had gone out on an excursion boat somewhere on one of the Great Lakes. There had been an accident, and the boat had gone down, taking far too many of the children with it because none of them could swim.
Dat
had promised himself that it would never happen to his family, if he could prevent it.
Have faith in God,
he would say.
But God doesn’t expect us to be foolish servants.

It hit Johanna that her father would be upset with her if he knew that she hadn’t yet taught Katy and Jonah to swim. This summer, she’d have to do something about that.

Wilmer hadn’t been able to swim a lick, and he had forbidden her to teach their children. He hadn’t liked boats or the beach, and he had never eaten fish or seafood of any kind. It troubled Johanna that her own little ones had missed the joys of hunting for seashells, digging clams and watching long-legged water birds foraging in the marsh grass. Wilmer had forbidden her to even wade in the water, saying that it wasn’t decent for a woman.

But Wilmer was gone. She couldn’t use him as an excuse for neglecting her children’s safety anymore. She was the one to decide what was best for her children. “Have you taught J.J. to swim?” she asked Roland.

He nodded solemnly. “I have. I wasn’t satisfied until he could jump into our pond fully clothed with his shoes on and swim from one end to the other.”

She considered that. “Maybe,” she ventured, “if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, you could find time to teach my Jonah this summer.”

“I would be pleased to,” Roland said. “And what of Katy?”

“
Ne
,” she said. “You know how shy she is. I can give her lessons myself.” Roland wasn’t her father...wasn’t her uncle or brother. It wouldn’t be fitting for her to ask him to perform such an intimate thing for her little girl. Of course he could, she thought. If they married and Roland became her children’s father. If only things weren’t so complicated between them.

Maybe Roland wasn’t really the problem. Maybe the problem was her. Maybe it was the thought of giving herself and her children over to any man that frightened her. Was that why she told him she could never love him?

Among the Old Order Amish, the man was the head of the family and his was the final say. He could decide to leave one church group and attend another, and his wife would have to do as he wished. Roland, or any husband she might choose, could—if he wished—move them to Wisconsin or Colorado or even to Canada, as some of the faith had done. A husband would have the right and the power to turn her life upside down, and there would be nothing she could do or say to prevent it...nothing but remain single.

Maybe she was too attached to her mother and her sisters.... But the truth was, she still didn’t want to leave Seven Poplars...she still needed her family around her. And to do that...to make certain that her life remained as it was, she would have to remain single, like her mother.

It was so much safer this way. Immediately, relief flooded through her. She didn’t have to chance their future. She could keep things just as they were until her children were grown. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have a home, didn’t have a place to raise Katy and Jonah. She had her bees and her sheep and her quilts. Her desire for a baby would pass, wouldn’t it? She didn’t need a man...not really. And she didn’t need Roland.

Well...maybe she did, but as a friend...as they had been when they were children. She’d thought of Roland then as a brother or maybe a cousin. It wasn’t until things changed...until she’d allowed him to take her home from frolics and singings that he’d become something more. It wasn’t until they’d walked out together and she’d allowed him to hold her hand when they walked through the orchard that she’d begun to think of what it would be like to be his wife.

She and Roland had shared a time of fun and laughter and dreams...until he had betrayed her and everything had gone wrong between them. Then she’d married Wilmer, on impulse for certain.

She’d thought she was so grown-up when she and Wilmer had taken their vows before God and Bishop Atlee, when they’d sat at the bride and groom’s table with family and friends around them. But she’d had so much to learn. She’d not always been wise and she’d not always had charity in her heart for Wilmer’s weaknesses. But she’d never realized just how lost he was...until it was too late.

“Johanna, look!”

Roland’s words brought her back to the present and she glanced in the direction he pointed. A smooth, dark head cut the water, and as she watched, a beautiful bottlenose dolphin dove out of the water, followed by a second, a third and a fourth.

“One of God’s wonders,” Roland remarked.

Johanna exhaled softly, caught in the excitement of the moment as the dolphins raced beside the boat, diving and leaping and diving again, seemingly just for the joy of being alive.
I wish I’d brought Jonah with me. Maybe if Roland teaches him to swim, I can take him on a fishing boat next year. Jonah would love to see the dolphins and the other boats and the seabirds, and he would love trying to catch fish.
Katy was too young to come out on the bay yet, but someday, Johanna promised herself, someday, she would bring Katy, too.

* * *

“I’ve got a bite!” Johanna called.

Another one?
Roland bit back the words. It was mean-spirited to resent Johanna’s prowess, and he didn’t really feel that way. Still, in the hour since the captain had anchored at Fourteen Foot Lighthouse, Johanna had already caught a nice-size trout and a croaker. The only thing that he’d managed to land was one toadfish and a sea bass too small to keep.

Charley had three trout, and Miriam had caught a flounder. If things didn’t improve, Johanna would never let him hear the end of it. It wasn’t that he was a terrible fisherman. He was using the same bait as everyone else, and he was just as capable of catching fish. The trouble was, nothing was biting on his hook.