Kiss & Sell (8 page)

“Hang in there, hon,” McCartney said. “Trust me on this?”

I forced a smile and then rushed off to class as the warning bell rang.

Three and a half hours, and two soul-sucking classes later, I was standing next to my locker in the hallway waiting for McCartney so we could eat lunch together. Phin had already come and gone, explaining that his stomach was “practically eating itself,” and that he promised to save us seats in the cafeteria.

Looking from one side of the hallway to the other, I willed McCartney to appear so I didn’t have to keep standing around by myself like a total loser. Feeling a bit restless, I started biting my fingernails while I examined my feet nervously.

“That’s a nasty habit,” McCartney said as she walked up behind me, hooking her arm in mine. Then we began to walk toward the noisy cafeteria together.

“I was standing there by myself for
ever
,” I said, frowning. “Where were you?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that,” McCartney answered with a devilish grin. “Besides, I figured Phin would be around.”

“He was hungry.”

“Want me to side kick that boy for ditching you?” McCartney asked.

“You can side kick
yourself
for making me wait for you,” I said. “But seriously, what have you been up to? You’ve got that !‘You can’t see my devil horns, but they’re there’ look.”

“Who? Me?” McCartney asked, feigning innocence. When I raised my eyebrows at her, she added, “You’ll see soon enough.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Have I ever let you down?” McCartney asked as we walked into the lunchroom. She paused mid-step. “Wait, don’t answer that.”

We stared around the room, trying to locate Phin. Instead, my eyes fell on Dan and the group of guys that were lounging around his table. They were talking in low voices and laughing. Every once in a while, one of the guys would slap Dan on the shoulder or give him a high five.

I suddenly got the urge to turn around and spend my lunch hour in the bathroom near the band room, but McCartney gripped my arm even tighter to make sure I stayed put. I could tell that she’d also seen Dan and his buddies.

Then McCartney started to pull me toward their table, even as I tried to get out of her tight grip.

“What are you doing?” I hissed through clenched teeth. “I do
not
want to go over there!”

McCartney ignored me and didn’t stop until the two of us were standing right behind Dan. My cheeks began to burn red and I looked around helplessly trying to find the nearest exit.

“Daaaannn,” McCartney said, in a sing-songy voice. “Heard you had a wild time Friday night.”

“Yeah…” Dan answered automatically as he turned around. He stopped talking once he saw us standing behind him.

A few of the guys snickered and stared at us as if we were novelty gifts.

“Why don’t you tell us about it?” McCartney asked, smoothly. “And don’t leave out a single, juicy detail.”

I thought he was going to break, admit he’d lied and maybe even apologize, but it didn’t happen. Instead, he recovered quickly and let his mouth slide into his signature smile. “Well, a gentleman never tells,” He said, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back in his chair.

“You know, that’s what I’ve heard,” McCartney said sweetly, a sparkle in her eyes. Leaning in to whisper the next part to the table, she added, “I’ve also heard you’re not exactly a gentleman.”

“Oh, really, McCartney? So what am I then?” Dan asked, chuckling and looking at the guys around him like this was the most ridiculous thing ever.

“Actually, I’ve heard that you’re kind of the opposite,” McCartney said, still smiling. “You know. The kind of guy who gets no action, but tells everyone that he did. Kind of makes you wonder how many other things you’ve lied about. Are you sure
you’re
not the one with no experience?”

I looked around us and noticed that the whole caf had stopped eating and was hanging onto every word. I swallowed thickly as I turned my attention back to McCartney and the guys.

Dan’s smile drooped into a frown as he noticed we had an audience too. “Why would I have to make something like that up?” He asked, his seat hitting the floor again. “She’s the one who’s all obsessed with kissing.”

“It must have really freaked you out to have to make up a rumor like that, huh?” McCartney asked, pushing him even farther. “I mean, how often does Dan stevenson get
Turned down
? Was Friday night the first time, or have there been other girls who’ve realized what a tool you are?”

“Oh. I get it now. Don’t worry, Janning, there’s enough of me to go around,” Dan said, tilting back in his chair again.

“You really should consider thinking a little
less
of yourself, Danny-boy,” McCartney said, not missing a beat. “Besides, I just read an interesting e-mail that pretty much proves there are plenty of girls out there who are on to the jerk-wad you really are.”

McCartney looked at me triumphantly, then back at the table of guys.

“Toodles,” McCartney said, waving her fingers at them.

As we began to walk away, a familiar tune started up behind us.

“Sha, la, la, la, la, la…go on and kiss the girl,” Dan sang softly. I stopped in my tracks and listened as Dan’s friends joined in by humming the tune. Finally the
guys erupted into laughter behind us, slapping high fives and patting each other encouragingly.

“Oh,
real
original guys. What, because my name’s arielle and I have red hair? Clever. Like I’ve never heard
That
one before. You guys are so
lame
,” I said, growing annoyed.

What I didn’t tell them was how close they were to the actual truth. That my mom had allowed me to choose my own name when I was old enough to do so—she thought that it was good for a person to choose their
own
identity. Unfortunately I was going through this whole Disney princess phase and my favorite movie at the time was
The Little Mermaid
...you get the picture. Naming yourself after a mermaid is cool when you’re five, not so much when you’re a teenager.

Then, Dan and his buddies were doing it again, singing the theme song, this time adding in obnoxious kissing noises into the mix. For his finale, Dan looked right at me as he sang, “I went and kissed the girl.”

Before I knew it, I was stomping back toward the table. My fury from the night before came raging back, and I walked over to Dan until I was standing right over him again. Without hesitating, I reached out and pushed Dan back in his chair, until it toppled over with him still in it.

“Oh,
I’m
sorry!” I exclaimed, covering my mouth dramatically, before leaning in toward him. “I guess your chair just couldn’t hold your big ego anymore. Might want to get that checked out…and maybe work on your dating skills, too, while you’re at it. I was
so
not impressed.”

Dan jumped up from where he’d landed on the floor and took a few steps forward like he was going to get up in my face. Before he could reach me though, somebody stepped in between us.

“Hey there, Dan. Why don’t you go take a walk,” a voice said, sharply from out of nowhere.

“You think I’m gonna let some wi-atch talk to me like that?” Dan asked.

“I think she just did,” the guy replied. “Now, trust me. Go. Take. A walk.”

Dan squinted his eyes at us a few seconds before silently stalking off.

Suddenly, the cafeteria was buzzing again, and I realized I’d been holding my breath through the whole embarrassing confrontation. Letting it out deeply, I tapped on the shoulder of the guy who was still standing with his back to me.

“Hey, thanks for that,” I said.

The guy turned around and I was surprised to see who it was.

“No problem,” Cade Jones said, tucking his dark locks behind his ear. “It’s guys like him who give the rest of us bad reps.”

“He
is
kind of a jerk, isn’t he?” I agreed.

Cade smiled at me, and let out a little laugh.

“What?” I asked, starting to feel defensive again.

“I was just thinking of the look on his face when you pushed him over,” He said. “It was seriously priceless.”

“Oh. That,” I said, suddenly very self-conscious.

“Yeah.
That
,” He answered.

Cade started to walk away, but then stopped and looked back at me. “If it’s any consolation, I never believed the rumors.”

I was surprised to find it actually was a consolation, but before I could tell him that, he was already out of earshot. Shrugging, I walked over to the table where McCartney and Phin were now sitting and eating their lunches.

“Now,
That
,” Phin said, between bites, “was awesome!”

“Did you ever know that you’re my heeeerrroooo,” McCartney sang to me.

I began to blush again as I took out my lunch. “Cut it out, guys,” I said, chewing slowly as I replayed what had just happened in my head. After a minute, I leaned in toward them.

“That
was
kind of cool, huh?” I asked.

“Totally!”

I couldn’t help but beam, even while Dan and his crew continued to glare at us the rest of lunch.

“IT WAS JUST
like, ‘Wham’ and the jerk went down,” McCartney exclaimed, toppling backward onto the floor of her room. She had the radio turned on to her fave alterna-rock station and we were all lounging around. “God, arielle, it was like, all of a sudden you were this crazy-strong, totally Buffy’d out girl. I think everyone in the cafeteria thought you were gonna kick his sorry butt all over that room!”

“Yeah, right,” I said sarcastically, but smiling at the memory. After standing up for myself that afternoon, I’d felt a surge of power go through me. Like I was part superhero—or at the very least, that I was taking my cues from the superheroes I’d seen in movies and on TV. It was strangely exhilarating, and I was surprised—but happy—to notice that the feeling hadn’t faded yet.

“All this excitement has made me hungry!” McCartney said, hopping up from her place on the floor, and walking over to the speaker that was built into her wall. “What do you guys feel like?”

“Taquitos,” Phin said, laying on his stomach on McCartney’s bed.

“Chips and salsa,” I answered with my usual choice.

“And sodas,” Phin added.

McCartney nodded as she pushed the button on the bottom right of the speaker.

“Yes, Miss McCartney?” a sweet voice filled the room.

“Hi, teddy! How are things going today?” McCartney asked the voice in the box. “You hear anything from that latin boy of yours yet?”

Theodora had been working as the Janning family maid since the three of us had started middle school. Before then, McCartney’d had another maid—a little, old, crotchety woman, who got a little too old to chase after McCartney anymore.

After having lived with the Janning’s for the past three years, teddy (this was our nickname for her) had become more of a friend to us than hired help. I smiled as I pictured teddy’s cheeks flushing pink at the mention of her latest crush.

“Nothing yet, my little gossip monkeys,” teddy answered jokingly. “I’m playing the situation ‘cool’ as you kids say.”

“Please, teddy, unless he’s blind, the guy’s gotta be jonesing for you by now. Really, you’re like, a hottie.” Phin said. Teddy was exotic-looking. Wore her dark hair in waves around her face and actually was a total babe. Plus, she was only in her late twenties, so she totally had youth on her side.

“If he doesn’t make a move soon, teddy, you may just have to take matters into your own hands,” I piped up.

“This, coming from Miss Kissy Face herself,” teddy said, challengingly.

“Okay, okay, we give up!” McCartney said, finally. “Actually, we’re just so hungry that we can’t argue with you anymore.”

“What can I get you kids?” she asked. I could hear her rumaging around as she took out a scrap of paper and found a pen.

McCartney rattled off a list of snacks and then thanked her, before turning her attention back to us.

Running back over to McCartney’s bed, I did a forward somersault onto the mattress. I narrowly missed kicking Phin in the face as I settled into place and stared up at the ceiling.