Learning the Truth (Fighting for Freedom Series Book 1) (2 page)

Going to sleep next to Scott wasn’t easy. Louise spent what felt like the whole night tossing and turning before waking up sweating, knowing that she’d dreamt of her father again. On the nights she didn’t remember the dreams it felt like an achievement, but she knew it wouldn’t last, and all she could do was hope she’d managed to escape by then. The last thing she wanted was for him to know of her weaknesses. Breathing deeply she slipped out of the sleeping bag he’d given her before making her way to the opening of the tent, hoping she could convince his guards to let her go for a walk, as that was the only thing that would help. If she didn’t she’d end up sitting there, remembering it all over again. She blinked away tears.

“It’s okay.” Scott’s voice was unexpected, as she’d checked to make sure he was asleep before moving. “They’ll go with you, but you are permitted to leave the tent at six o’clock in the morning.”

“How do you know what time it is?”

“Batteries are one of the things I hoard, so I can make my clock work. I don’t know how I’d survive without it.”

“So what is the time?”

“3am. This might have happened earlier if you’d been able to fall asleep sooner, but obviously having me there made it difficult, because you’re scared of me.” He sighed. “I know you’ll have heard plenty of rumors about me, Louise, and the only way I can show you they aren’t true is if you give me a chance.”

“Why should I?”

A long silence followed, before he laughed. “I honestly have no idea.”

Louise studied him, only just able to see his silhouette because there was a new moon and it wasn’t until the end of the world that she realized how dark it could get then. “Well, that’s a step in some sort of direction.” She shook her head. “At least you didn’t come up with something that didn’t make any sense.”

“Making things up would be stupid. I want you to trust me, so I have to begin with the truth, otherwise I’m never going to get anywhere.”

“Until we met the only reason you could have wanted to keep me was my ability with a bow and arrow.”

“People with your skills are rare and I wasn’t going to lose anyone who could do what you can. I don’t have PTSD myself, but I’ve known people who have, so in that sort of situation you could easily have been having a flashback at the same time, and you still managed to kill twenty of my men.”

“How do you know about that? I didn’t mention it in any of the interviews.”

“You were screaming in your sleep, Louise. If you hadn’t stopped I was going to wake you up, but you did, and then you started moving, so I wanted to make sure that you were… okay? It’s a stupid word to use in this situation, as you obviously aren’t okay - unfortunately it’s the only one I can think of.”

“Screaming in my sleep once doesn’t mean I have PTSD.”

“No, but it is the most likely explanation, especially as a couple of people who joined us from your group mentioned hearing you screaming in your sleep before. I talked to them as soon as I found out who you were, because I wanted to be prepared for any issues that you might have. Having been through something like that I’m not surprised that you’re still dealing with it now.” Finding a reply to that was more difficult than Louise wanted it to be, so she walked out through the tent flaps, hoping that Scott would stay in the tent, but he followed her instead. “Would it have been better if I asked you directly?”

“I wouldn’t have told you the truth if you had.” Louise shrugged. “There was no reason for me to, not when I thought you might use my weaknesses against me.”

“That wouldn’t have done me any good. I want you to be on my side.” He sounded exasperated, which made Louise smile. “I know I went about things in a way that might not have been the best, but I couldn’t let you do something stupid, not when I realized how useful you’d be to me. My men tried their best to keep all of the archers safe and we managed to get eight out of the nine.”

“Frank and Tristan had been friends since before the meteor hit, so there was no chance of Frank not doing something stupid once you killed Tristan.”

“Killing Tristan was the only way I could put an end to the bloodshed. I wanted to do it amicably, but he’d been allied with Septimus and Damascus for too long to be willing to work with me.”

“Scott…” Louise nibbled her lip. “What are your aims?”

“My main aim is to gather as many people as possible together to build a real community, one where we can grow the food we need and work together to make this world a better place, although I always knew that wasn’t going to be easy. The thing I didn’t realize was how hard it would be to get people to work with me, instead of against. All they think about is themselves, their own territories, and it doesn’t matter to them that almost everyone is struggling to survive from one day to the next. Tristan, I hoped, would be different, because I’d heard some good things about him, but then I found out about his alliance with Septimus and Damascus.

“Septimus, which I’m sure you know isn’t his real name, wants control of everything. He always had, but the meteor has given him a chance to actually make his dreams a reality. Damascus… I don’t think she’s truly the bitch she tries to make people believe she is. I think she’s trying to be Septimus’ other half, because she’s in love with him and he’s never noticed her, which makes her do things she wouldn’t if it wasn’t for him being a part of her life. Tristan being allied with them meant he knew exactly what would happen if he did something stupid like work with me, even though I told him I was close enough to offer aid if either of them did attack your stronghold. Now that I’ve seen it I can understand why he didn’t.”

Louise didn’t need to ask what he meant. She knew how bad things had become and, even though she wished it hadn’t happened, Tristan had told her about another reason he had for not agreeing to what Scott had wanted. After fighting to survive for four years Tristan was too tired to keep going and the thought of death was actually more tempting that he thought it would be, especially as Septimus kept wanting more from him. It wasn’t something he felt comfortable telling Frank, because of how long they had been friends, but Tristan had always said that talking to someone like her, who was dealing with her own emotional issues, was much easier. Being close to him meant he was willing to talk to her. Being newly close meant she had no expectations, so he didn’t have to keep acting the way he always had before, and Frank, Tristan knew, would never be able to accept that he wanted to end it all.

“Working on the stronghold and keeping Septimus as our ally wasn’t easy.” Louise sighed. “Tristan was in a difficult position.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Scott surprised her by reaching out and taking her hand. “You were running low on certain supplies that told me all that I needed to know about how hard things were for him.” He squeezed it before letting go. “The people I spoke to also told me that you were considered one of Tristan’s lieutenants, so they could talk to you about things if he wasn’t available.”

“That’s how I know as much as I do.”

“Your knowledge is going to help me put this stronghold back together, preferable before Damascus attacks, because it will be her first. Septimus isn’t going to get involved unless he has to and he isn’t going to feel he has to unless Damascus falls.”

“How long do you think we have?”

“Probably not as long as we need.”

She nodded, because that was what she thought he was going to say. “We do have another option.”

“You aren’t going anywhere, Louise.”

“Do you want to survive to take down Septimus?”

“Of course I do.”

“I suggest you listen to me, then, even if you disagree with my plan afterwards.”

He was silent and she waited patiently for him to say something, knowing that it was the best option. “You’re right. I should listen before I disagree with your plans, but I do mean it when I say you aren’t going anywhere.”

“No, I’m not going anywhere alone.”

While Scott’s men worked on fixing up Tristan’s stronghold Louise and Scott travelled alone into territory she knew belonged to Damascus. It was probably the most stupid idea she’d had, but Scott… he seemed to think it was genius, even though it meant travelling through enemy territory with someone he knew had PTSD, which was really not the most logical idea he’d ever had. The journey would take them at least ten days… ten very long days. Between the two of them they knew enough to be able to get to Damascus’ stronghold - it was getting further than that which would require his trust, which was something she had to try to gain.

Louise knew why she was helping Scott. He was trying to bring an end to Septimus and after the way Septimus had treated Tristan that was something she was willing to be a part of. Septimus hadn’t been there when she’d first entered Tristan’s territory, but everyone knew of him by that point, in very much the same way they knew about Scott. Of course it wasn’t until she looked back at these things that she started thinking about what they knew and what they didn’t. It had been over a year since Septimus had taken over the territories of numerous other leaders, doing very much the same thing Scott was said to have done.

“You believe me then?” He studied her as they ate again, knowing they needed to keep their strength up. “I know that’s it’s hard to accept that I might be telling the truth after everything you’ve heard about me, but I did ally with more of the leaders than I killed, because there was no reason for me to hurt them. No one is happy with the things that Septimus is doing, so when I told them that was why I was travelling the way I was they were happy to ask for volunteers to join me.” He sighed. “Unfortunately there were other leaders who couldn’t accept that I’d really be different to him, so I had to make certain choices that I wouldn’t have done if I was in a different position.”

“Tristan believed the reports.”

“As in truly believed them or acted as though he believed them.”

She thought back to the meetings they’d had before Scott’s arrival. “I think he truly believed them. He didn’t want to think that Septimus might be lying to him, so he accepted whatever he read as the truth, without letting himself stop to think they might be lies.” She shrugged. “I could be wrong about that. He didn’t talk to us about everything he was thinking.”

“He talked to you more than the others, though.”

“I never expected anything from him, so he could be the person he was rather than the person they thought he was, and he seemed to appreciate that. We had several long conversations about how he didn’t want to be the leader of our group any longer, but no one else could be. Not with Septimus around.” Louise nibbled her lip. “On the day Septimus became a part of our lives we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into and I really wish we did. Not that it would have done any good. By then he was too deeply entrenched for us to be able to do anything to get rid of him. Add Damascus into the mix…” She shook her head. “The world changed more than I expected it could when those meteors hit.”

“People will always be people, unfortunately. Septimus is someone who does truly believe he’s superior to everyone else, so he has the right to rule them, although that doesn’t mean he should. I found myself in this position more by default than anything, because he was sending someone around to collect tithes and I told him that he wasn’t getting anything from us when he did nothing to help. Not long after that he must have decided he’d be better off getting rid of me, as I was attacked, but fortunately my men were with me and they chased off the attackers. After that…” Scott shook his head. “I made the decision that if he was going to think of me as an enemy then I would be his enemy.”

“We sent him a tithe every harvest, although we were fortunate as he did send men to help us with it. The problem was the tithe kept growing, so it got to the point, as you saw, that we didn’t have enough supplies for the people that we had, which meant our only option was to start foraging. I set up a couple of hidden farms as well, without Tristan’s knowledge, in an attempt to keep everyone fed.”

“That obviously didn’t work too well.”

“No, Septimus found them and destroyed them. He knew it was me who’d done it, somehow, so he came to talk to me, to make certain that I wouldn’t do it again.” Louise remembered looking into his cold blue eyes and knowing that she didn’t want to do anything more that might irritate him, at least until she could be certain that Tristan wouldn’t be hurt because of her actions. “I couldn’t do it after that, even though I wanted to, as I knew he’d start to punish Tristan.”

“Did you love Tristan?”

“I loved him, but I wasn’t in love with him. We were friends and I cared about him more than I realized until recently. There was nothing more between us than that though.” Louise smiled at Scott. “I never expected that to be the sort of question you’d ask though.”

“Any other day I wouldn’t, but this…” He gestured. “It’s much nicer than I expected it to be.”

Louise laughed. “Travelling into enemy territory with someone you don’t know for certain that you can trust is nice? I hate to think what you’d be unhappy doing.”

Being curled up close to Scott wasn’t normal, but it did seem to be helping with the nightmares. Louise hadn’t dreamt of her father since the first night, when she found herself trapped in Scott’s arms, and since then it had happened every night. He was still asleep, so she turned to study him. He definitely wasn’t the sort of person she’d expected him to be. That was something that really shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise, because all of their reports had come from Septimus, and yet it did, because Scott was… he was honest, open, and kind, the absolute opposite of Septimus. Every report she’d read prepared her to deal with another Septimus, although she was certain that he didn’t have any idea how other people saw him.

Scott opened his eyes. “You again?” He smiled. “We don’t have much longer before we get to Damascus’ stronghold.”

“When we do you’re going to have to work out if you trust me enough to let me complete the next part of the plan.”

“There is a way I might be able to do that now.” He licked his lips, looking more scared than she had ever seen him look before. “You can stop me. Just hit me, or something.” As she opened her mouth, just a little, to ask him what he was talking about, he kissed her. She didn’t know how to respond. It had been years since she was last kissed, before the meteor hit, and the last thing she’d expected from him was a kiss. He pulled back a little, so he could look at her. “That didn’t work, did it?”

“Not your fault.” She stared at him. “I wasn’t expecting you to kiss me. I… why?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t feel this way after only knowing you for a few days, but I really do like you, Louise, and I think I did from the time I first read those reports, because you were so brave. You might not feel like you were. I get that. To me, though, you were one of the bravest people I’d ever heard about. That feeling increased when you started giving interviews about your father and the choice he made, as you never seemed like you were angry with him. You never seemed like you hated him for what he’d done, even though most people would, and the love that you had for him, while different to what it had been before, hadn’t died.”

“Dad made a choice when he shot his family. He truly believed that he was protecting us from a terrible future and I couldn’t hate him for that. I was angry with him for thinking he could take away my free will, but that anger faded as time passed, because I did still love him. After spending five years having nightmares about what he did… I still do now, which I think is why it hurts so much when I have to relive it all over again.”

“You haven’t been having them out here.”

“I think that’s thanks to you.” She pressed a tentative kiss to his lips. “When I woke up and realized I hadn’t dreamt at all I was in your arms, so I believe it’s you making me feel safe for the first time since it happened.”

“How do we do this then?”

“One step at a time, Scott. I haven’t had someone in my life I thought of as anything more than a friend since before the meteor hit. My boyfriend at the time I was shot decided he couldn’t be a part of all that and I told him he was welcome to walk away if that was easier for him. So he did.” Louise shrugged. “I hated him more than I ever hated my father, because I truly thought he would stay by my side when I needed him, but he didn’t. He chose to leave me and I had to go through the pain of losing my whole family alone.” She laughed. “Not entirely alone, actually. Some people sent me letters. They wanted to tell me that I was an inspiration to them, as I’d been so wonderful about the whole thing, and I did appreciate that.”

“Really?” Their eyes met. “I sent you one. My brothers thought it was hysterical I’d do something so pathetic and they mocked me until the meteor hit. After that everything changed. Everyone…” He shook his head. “Surviving the after effects was much harder than anything I could have imagined, because I never believed things could get as bad as they did, but then I had no real understanding of what could happen when a meteor struck Earth.”

“Everything would have been simpler if it wasn’t for the psychological effect of the ‘end of the world’, because a lot of people reacted to what happened in ways that were really quite stupid, including my father. I remember talking to my sister about that just before he shot her and…”

Louise shuddered, feeling a flash back starting to come on, until she felt Scott’s lips against her. “It’s okay.” He stroked her hair back. “I’m here, Louise, and you don’t have to go through it all again. Not if you don’t want to.”

“That…” She shook her head. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone being able to do that.”

“Maybe they haven’t, but it seems to work for you. It probably won’t every time, but it’s enough that we can pull you out of them occasionally, and that you seem to be sleeping much better than you did before.”

“If it’s too much for you…”

“I knew you had PTSD before I realized I had feelings for you, so this was something I prepared for. Being able to help you is more than I could ever have hoped for.” He tightened his arms around her. “I do trust you. I’m just not certain I want you to go into Damascus’ stronghold alone.”