Love's Stormy Gale (Heartsong Presents) (13 page)

Chapter 16

F
or the past two weeks, Olivia had welcomed the work to keep herself busy, the last rush for data before the whales headed south for the winter.

Dad regained his strength every day. Belinda had set up a small office in the entryway to conduct her business. Jonathan came around after checking her dad’s lobster pots. Olivia usually managed to find a reason to stay in her room when Jonathan stopped by the house. She would steel her heart from him. Ironic, she realized, as they puttered along in the boat, her avoidance did little to quell her fears for Jonathan.

“Liv, hold the tiller steady!” Rusty, Olivia’s colleague, bobbed up and down as he aimed the crossbow at the humpback whale floating yards from their steel-bottomed inflatable raft.

“I’m trying to!” Her throbbing wrists and white-knuckled fingers held the tiller on the outboard motor.

Rusty gritted his teeth. “If I don’t get these tags implanted today, I won’t have a chance until spring. This is the last pod of whales in the area.” The tiny harpoon tipped with a small electronic tag zipped from the bow and landed firmly in the outer part of the whale’s thick skin.

Olivia bit her lip. “You’re sure that doesn’t hurt her?”

“She’s fine. Not much more than a pinch.” Rusty fitted another dart with a device intended to snatch a sample of the whale’s tissue.

“Ooh. Spotter, I’m sorry.” Olivia held her breath as Rusty used the harpoon to grab a sample from the whale’s skin. The transmitter linked to a satellite would tell them where the whales went; hopefully the specimens Olivia gathered would tell them more about the mysterious life of the whales, too.

She let Rusty take the tiller and moved to put the scrapings into glass vials. “You’re sure this is no worse than sloughing off skin cells?”

“Don’t worry, Spotter will forgive you.”

They puttered back to the main boat, anchored in the waters of Stellwagen Bank
.

After they docked at the institute, Olivia gathered some data files and printouts, left the plankton with a lab tech and headed home.

Frances O’Leary’s meat loaf pan clanked against a coffee mug on the floor of the car. Olivia had meant to return the pan to Frances over a week ago, but instead it ended up traveling around town with her. She should stop at Frances’s gift shop on the way home.

She pulled up behind Frances’s Buick, which was parked in front of the downtown store. “Here we go.” The sign on the front of the store had been turned to closed, but Olivia saw Frances cross the showroom floor to unlock the glass door.

“Olivia, how are you?” Frances wore a guarded expression as she let Olivia inside the store. Her gaze darted from Olivia’s face to the metal loaf pan, then to the floor.

“Busy, but fine otherwise. Here’s your pan. I’ve been meaning to return it.” Olivia regarded the older woman for a moment. “Frances, would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me?”

“No.” The word shot from Frances’s mouth like a dart. “I mean, not tonight.” She sighed deeply, as if expelling a life’s worth of heaviness.

“Are you all right? How can I help?” Olivia asked. Part of her wanted to flee the tirade to come. Another part glimpsed loneliness in the woman’s eyes. And tears.

“I owe you an apology.” Frances inhaled. Tears streamed from her carefully made-up eyes. “There’s so much I could say, but I’ve said so much in the past I don’t think I could make up for the pain I caused you.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Olivia began.

“Yes, I do. For years and years, I’ve prided myself on being a Christian woman. A pillar of the church. No matter what came my way, I’d emerge with my head held high. And then I lost Robby and blamed you. I talked about you almost every chance I had. When you left, I was glad. I hoped you’d never come back. That way you couldn’t remind me of my pain.

“Then you came home this past summer, and I felt like I’d lost my son all over again. But—” Frances drew yet another ragged breath “—it’s not your fault, Liv. I tried so hard to hold Robby tight and make sure he was okay that he slipped through my fingers anyway. The Bible study I attend has been learning what real trust in God means. And I see I haven’t. Not really ever.”

Olivia laid a hand on Frances’s arm. “I forgive you. I won’t hold the past against you.” Now she was crying, too. “I know you’re lonely, and I’m sorry, too. I should have tried to love you after we lost Robby, and I pulled away.”

“We both did.”

“Please, we should get together for coffee one night. Life has been rather interesting lately.”

Frances smiled, and Olivia noticed its loveliness. “I think I’d like that. Oh, one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t let your fear keep you from missing out on a blessing.” Frances gave Olivia a quick hug. “We can’t control many things in our lives, but we know someone who does.”

Olivia nodded. “Thanks.”

“I mean it. Think about it.”

* * *

“Stay for supper, Jon.” Belinda placed another plate on the table without waiting for Jonathan’s answer.

“Well, since you’re twisting my arm, sure.” His stomach rumbled at the smell of stew. And Olivia’s mother had made enough for a small army, judging by the size of the stockpot on the stove.

Sounds from the front of the house told Jonathan that Olivia had arrived home from the lab. He braced himself for her reaction to his presence. For two weeks he’d been hauling in Sam’s lobsters, with an occasional hand from a fellow lobsterman. Either Olivia made herself scarce when he visited Sam, or she would be gone. Jonathan reminded himself to be patient.

Frank Pappalardo didn’t sit with Olivia in church anymore, a fact that hadn’t escaped Jonathan. Yet she still showed no inclination to be anything more than friends with Jonathan.

“Hi, I’m home.” Olivia stopped short of the dining room. “Jonathan, hi.” He saw her note the number of plates on the table.

“Supper’s ready. You two dish up your stew, and I’ll get your dad’s bowl.” Belinda moved through the tiny kitchen with familiarity. Jonathan saw Olivia’s expression turn into a thundercloud. Her mother took a tray to the living room.

“How are things?” Jonathan gestured toward the living room with his head.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Olivia spooned some stew into a bowl. She lowered her voice and continued. “I go back and forth between wanting to rage at her, and other times I want to know what it’s like to have a mom. The coward’s come home. But then, that’s just what I did.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “For Dad’s sake, I go with the flow.”

He rested a hand on her shoulder. “You look tired.”

“I am.” A line formed between her brows. “Rusty told me to take some time off, to work on my thesis. The pods are leaving for the winter, so all I have to do is study data and write until spring. Plus, be available if a school wants to schedule a presentation.”

“So, you’ll be home, then?”

“That’s the idea. I can be near Dad. He still thinks he’s Superman.” They moved to the table; Belinda, Jonathan supposed, had decided to remain in the living room with her husband.

“Yeah, he’s pretty super to lug those pots in by himself. One false move, and he could be over the side with one of those heavy wire pots taking him to the bottom. And I thought I had a hard job!” Jonathan’s arms throbbed from pulling in the lobster pots. He needed to pick up some liniment on the way home.

Olivia frowned. “Yes, it’s dangerous to work a lobster boat alone.” She nibbled some of her stew, then played with the spoon. “That’s why I want to help you.”

“Help me?” Jonathan crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“I want to pilot Dad’s boat while you pull in the pots. We can get the job done more quickly and safely than someone going it alone.”

“Liv, I don’t need your help.”

“I can’t study all the time, and I can’t rattle around the house all day.” She hissed the words across the table at him. “Besides, I’ve...” She stopped and slumped back in her chair.

“You’ve what?” Jonathan leaned forward in his chair.

She swallowed hard. “I’ve missed you. And I’ve been wrong to avoid you.”

He allowed a smile to spread across his face. “So you
have
missed me. I was beginning to think I’d come down with a contagious disease.”

“No.” She shook her head. Olivia met his eyes, a determined expression on her face. “Frances O’Leary taught me not to let unforgiveness eat me away inside.”

“Yet you want to pilot the boat to get away from your mother.”

“Yeah, I’m contradicting myself, I know. I’m taking this one step at a time.” Olivia’s eyes were full of hope. Something passed between them, and Jonathan wanted to at least take her hand. She still loved him; that much he knew. If she needed to get out of the house, he couldn’t deny her the chance to be with him.

“All right. If your dad doesn’t mind, then I’ll come by for you in the morning.” When she looked at him like that, how could he tell her no?

Chapter 17

“I
’ve got to go to Boston for a few days on business,” Belinda announced on a Friday morning in mid-November. She wore one of her tailored suits, her hair swept back into a sleek knot at the back of her head.

Good.
Olivia gulped down some coffee and prepared some extra for the big thermos.
I could use a break from the mothering. I feel like I’m suffocating.

“Okay.” Olivia nonchalantly clomped along in an old pair of boots to the mudroom closet. Dad probably had some extra work gloves stashed somewhere. She needed to find them soon; Jonathan would arrive at any moment. Her heart sang and she reminded herself she had nothing to be nervous about.

“I was making sure you’d be around for your father this weekend. I don’t think I’ll be back until Monday night or lunchtime Tuesday.” She shuffled through some papers in her leather case.

“Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine.” She waved Belinda away with assurances, and tried not to sigh with relief when her mother’s sedan disappeared down the street.

Her father was reading the paper when she came into the living room. “Hey, Dad. How’s it going this morning?”

His gray hair hung limp from a recent shower, but he had a sparkle in his eye she hadn’t seen in months. “I’m doing okay. I’m worn out from the trip up and down stairs, but I’ll get there. Jonathan’s coming by for you?”

“Yes.” Olivia went for her coffee cup on the kitchen table. “Hopefully we’ll get a good price at the market.”

“Hope so. The season’s over at the end of December. Six more weeks before we shut down ’til April.” Sam laid the paper on his lap.

Olivia nodded. “I think it’s wonderful what you’re doing for Jon. Helping him get that engine he needs.”

“He’s a good man, Liv. He’s smart, a fast learner. Wish I could talk ’im into going into business with me.” She felt her father’s probing gaze follow her from the living room.

“He’s got his own boat, Dad.” She had resigned herself to that fact. Worry had caused her to volunteer to help him. Was she making a mistake?

A firm knock sounded on the door before it opened. Jonathan entered the living room. “Hey, Liv, you ready? G’morning, Sam.” He wore several layers of clothing topped by a wool plaid jacket.

“Morning, son. Take care of my girl and my boat.”

Olivia grabbed the thermos, then passed through the living room. “Dad!” Her face had probably bloomed red.

“Gladly, Sam.” Then Jonathan winked at her.

* * *

Jonathan kept quiet as he steadied himself against the boat’s movement. The
Lindy
moved parallel to the shoreline, headed toward the buoys marking Sam’s lobster pots. Olivia’s gaze was fixed on the dark gray water, her cheeks spotted red from the cold.

“I forgot how freezing it is out here.” Her puffs of breath were snatched by the wind.

“Yeah, we’ll be soaked through by the time we get home, even with these rubber waders.” Jonathan eyed the bulky sweater Olivia wore. The waders bloomed out around her hips. It was all he could do not to take her in his arms and warm her up with a long-ago promised kiss. Yet their summer closeness seemed a distant memory. At least now she wasn’t avoiding him.

“Here’s one, right?” Olivia downshifted the boat into an idle.

“That’s it.” He studied the numbers on the marker. “You remember well.”

She grinned for the first time that morning. “Dad would bring me out sometimes when I begged him. He taught me to drive the boat.”

“I’ve missed you.” The words came out before Jonathan could stop them. He glanced sideways at her capable figure clenching the helm with gloved hands. Somehow he and Olivia had landed side-by-side piloting a boat. “My feelings haven’t changed all this time.” He wanted to snatch the glove off his hand and caress Olivia’s face and lose his fingers in her hair.

“I know.”

Her look made Jonathan want to forget all about lobsters in traps beneath the frigid waters. He groaned as he headed toward the back of the boat. Today would be torturous, but he would survive.

* * *

Two more pots, and they’d be done for the day. Olivia shivered, hoping Jonathan hadn’t noticed. When she got home, she’d reheat some lasagna and make them both some hot chocolate. He still cared. She knew that much, although being close to him every day for an entire week drove her crazy.

She’d been enjoying her trips out on her dad’s boat, though it bore the nickname her father had given to Belinda. Since Belinda’s return from Boston on Tuesday, they hadn’t really conversed with each other. One week until Thanksgiving, when they were expected to portray a happy family.

Her cheeks burned from the cold, and from the recollection of her struggle to deal with Belinda, coupled with the memory of Jeremy’s Sunday school lesson. They’d moved on to Ephesians 4, discussing relationships with family and friends. So far Olivia knew she’d struck out on many counts.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger...be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,
repeated the verses in her mind.
I’ve been so wrong, Lord. Please forgive me. I’ll do better from now on.
She needed to ask Belinda’s forgiveness, as well. Her mother was trying. Humility was a tough road to walk.

Olivia held the boat steady and looked over her shoulder. Jonathan’s massive arms hauled the rope onto the deck until up came the steel pot full of lobsters. It crashed onto the deck, and Jonathan skillfully measured each lobster before tossing it into the hold or over the side. He looked up at her. She’d been staring, and her stomach turned over on itself with the knowledge that he’d caught her.

“Give me a hand here.” One corner of his mouth quirked up in a half grin.

She heard and obeyed, not caring that he’d called her to help him with a pot he could handle himself.

Olivia’s boots slipped on the wet deck, and she skidded into the circle of Jonathan’s arms. Heat radiated from his body, the warmth spreading to her despite the bright orange waders she wore.

“I need to grab the helm,” she sputtered. “The boat’s drifting.”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” At his husky tones, Olivia’s knees threatened to give way. Robby had never caused such a stirring inside her.

Olivia wanted to wriggle out of his embrace; Jonathan’s eyes, brown and fathomless, held her still. Her fear had kept them apart. And she wouldn’t open the door to love him without fear. Nor would she tempt herself with the promise of a future with Jonathan. Her fear would hold him captive, and she couldn’t ask him to leave the life he loved. Jonathan deserved a better woman.

Too late. She tumbled into the fire that crackled from his expression. His lips lowered to hers and everything, the rocking boat, the lobsters in the hold, the lobster pot and its marker waiting to be tossed into the sea, lost its importance. The firmness and controlled passion of his kiss ignited her response. It didn’t matter that his face had a day’s worth of stubble, or that their waders squeaked in protest at the friction between them.

Jonathan was letting her return his kiss, and Olivia knew it. She pulled back enough to touch his jaw with a trembling hand. “You—you said you’d shave before you kissed me.”

“It’s a long time since summer. Guess I forgot.” Then he kissed her again, as though reluctant to scratch her tingling cheeks.

Jonathan left her breathless. The cold air hit her face and lips. She shivered, and his embrace tightened.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“And I love you.” Pent-up tears released, blazing a hot trail on her cheeks. Olivia put her face on his chest; his gloved hand rubbed her head.

He forced her back to look at him. “Baby, you’re all the woman I’ll ever need. I’ve wanted to tell you that for years, since the Three Musketeers ran around together; there’s never been anyone else.”

Olivia studied his expression. How long had he loved her? Even when she had fallen in love with Robby? “That long? Why did you wait for me?”

“There was a time I’d resigned myself to the fact I’d lost you forever, when I saw you and Robby together.” His grip loosened around her. “And then after we lost him, I’d hoped that one day...” He looked over her shoulder as if studying the steel lobster pot behind her.

“You need someone who’s not afraid of your job, someone who won’t hinder you.” She set her jaw. “I can’t promise you I can learn to conquer this fear. I’ve tried.”

Another spark ignited in his eyes. “That doesn’t matter to me. I love you, just the way you are now. We can take it one step at a time.” He peeled off a glove and ran a warm hand down her wet cheek. “If we love each other and trust the Lord, nothing’s impossible.”

Olivia stepped around him and headed for the helm. She wouldn’t look at him. She’d been foolish to think she could work this closely with Jonathan and not be affected by him. If she said anything more, she could make things worse. No need to open her mouth. Olivia swallowed hard and let the wind dry her cheeks.

Jonathan’s steps clomped back to the wire pot. Then came a splash. They’d be done soon but not quickly enough for her liking. His steps approached her again.

“You know what, Liv? I can get one of the guys from the crew to help me. Jeff could use the money. You and I won’t have to see each other like this every day.”

Olivia nodded. It would be better that way. Her aching heart told her she’d just lost another man to the sea.