My mother looked shocked at Martinezs language. She was still in Southern belle mode, and damsels have such delicate ears. In fact, she could cuss a purple streak. But she always asked the Lord for forgiveness afterwards.
You people can stand here yelling at each other until Christmas for all I care. That vein was throbbing at his temple again. But Mrs. Deveraux is coming with me. He grabbed Mama by the arm and yanked her none too gently toward the door. There was a murder victim in her car.
Another wail from Emma Jean.
Your mothers been unableor unwillingto explain how he got there, Martinez pressed on. I think shes implicated. And Im going to find out how.
We all started talking again.
Por favor
. Please! Still hanging on to Mama with one hand, Martinez held up the other for silence.
Im arresting her, he said when we finally quieted down. If any of you has a problem with that, I suggest you call somebodys cousin and get her a lawyer.
Martinez made good on his threat. Mama spent the night in jail.
First thing in the morning, I tossed on some clothes and set about getting her out.
Unfortunately, I caught a glimpse of myself in the Jeeps rear-view mirror on the way to my cousins law office. Im not much for primping, but the sight of my bed-smashed hair and raccoon eyes gave even me a scare. The shadows were so dark that, if I hadnt also seen some yellow sleep crud caked into the corner of an eyelid, Id have thought I didnt catch a single wink over worrying about my mama.
I didnt feel a whole lot better once I pulled up to the law office of Henry Bauer & Associates. The setting didnt exactly spell success. First off, there are no Associates. Henry rents space in a strip mall, between a convenience store and a pawn shop. As hot as its been, I could smell the garbage cooking in the can on the sidewalk. It stunk like stale beer and microwave burritos.
Next door, the pawn shops logo showed a flattened armadillo on a highway with a word balloon over his head:
Dont Wait Too Late to Visit Petes Pawn!
Inside, Henrys secretary had a blonde ponytail in a pink scrunchy. She looked like a work-study student from Himmarshee High. I gave her my name and grabbed a seat.
Henrys got a small-town practice, covering all kinds of law. But his clients this morning mostly resembled pictures from a personal-injury textbook. Every chapter of pain and suffering. One poor guy was trussed into a cast from neck to groin. His bandaged arms and legs poked out like matchsticks. He leaned against the wall, looking just like a gopher turtle that some mean kids had flipped over onto its back.
Mr. Bauer will see you now.
The secretary motioned for me to follow her. It seemed silly, since I could see my cousin at his desk behind four artificial palm trees employed as a room divider. But she stepped left to avoid the palms, so I stepped left, too.
Mr. Bauer, this lady says shes Ms. Bauer.
A mischievous grin crept across Henrys face. Thanks, Amber. I might not have recognized Ms. Bauer with her clothes on.
Amber blushed.
We used to splash nekkid together in the kiddy pool in my backyard. That was decades ago, darlin, way before you were born.
Amber looked ill at the prospect of a naked Henry at any age. Hed inherited a tendency toward corpulence from Daddys side of the family. Henrys so heavy, he gave his stomach a nickname. He calls it Dunlap, as in, My belly dun lapped over my belt.
With a final disgusted look, Amber fled past the palms to her desk.
Do kids still have plastic baby pools, Mace? Henry was thinking out loud. Or are they considered too dangerous these days?
Im sure if anyone can prove baby pools are fatal death traps, you can, Henry.
Dont be snide. Thats your sister Maddies job. Where is she, by the way?
My sisters and I had alerted Henry the night before to Mamas predicament. Wed agreed my work hours were most flexible, so the task of visiting our cousin the lawyer had fallen to me.
We drew straws to come see you, Henry. I lost.
Very funny, Mace. You wont be so dismissive of my legal skills when you find out what Ive learned about your Mamas case.
I was still getting used to the fact that Mama had a case. And Henry was right: I needed him.
Dont keep me in suspense, Henry.
Since we were kids, my cousin had made me grovel for information. I Spy. Twenty Questions. Youre Getting Warm. Ive hated guessing games ever since.
He must have taken one look at me today and refrained out of pity.
What Ive discovered about the man in your mamas trunk changes the whole character of his murder. He tapped a file folder on his desk. This is good news, Mace. I think we can help her out. Henry reached across the desk and gave my hand a supportive squeeze.
Sometimes, I wish I was born in South Dakota, where people are direct. Its too damned cold up there to sit around squeezing a persons hand. Plus, theyre usually wearing electric mittens.
What was it you learned, Henry? I pulled my hand away and put it in my lap.
Well, first of all, Jim Albert wasnt his real name. Henry picked up a paper clip and tossed it from palm to palm. Thats an alias.
What do you mean?
An alias is a name other than your given name that youre known by.
I know what an alias is, Henry. Ive been to college. I meant, whyd he have one?
The man in your mamas trunk was running away from some very bad people. As he said, bad people, Henry rolled his neck and adjusted an imaginary tie. He shot imaginary shirt cuffs from beneath an imaginary suit. In fact, he was in a short-sleeved Madras shirt with no tie or jacket.
What in Gods name are you doing, Henry? Have you taken up yoga?
He was connected, Mace. His mouth twisted to a tough-guy smirk.
Connected to what? Did I mention I hate charades as much as I do guessing games?
Youre the most literal-minded person I know, Mace, Henry said, exasperated. You dont even seem to try.
He peeked around the plastic palms to make sure none of his clients was listening. They all seemed engrossed in a
Judge Judy
rerun on the waiting room TV. As he leaned in close, I smelled pancakes on his breath.
You know, connected. Like Tony Soprano? he whispered. The
Godfather
movies? Jim Albert, real name Jimmy the Weasel Albrizio, was a known member of the criminal underworld in New York. He was down here hiding out.
So Emma Jeans boyfriend was a mobster. I wondered if shed known that detail when shed agreed to become his wife. I pictured the getting-to-know you phase of their courtship:
Emma Jean: Tell me a little bit about yourself, Jim.
Jimmy the Weasel: Well, Im from New York originally. I did free-lance work for The Family up there.
Emma Jean: How nice that youre close to your family
Howd you find this out? I asked Henry.
He got that superior look he always got when he knew something I didnt. Im a good lawyer; a respected member of the legal community, Mace. He twirled his paper clip. You may not be aware of it, but Ive become a pretty big fish in this little pond we call Himmarshee. Getting information is easy if you know the right people.
Which doesnt answer my question. Who told you about Albrizio?
The waitress at Gladys Restaurant.
That explained Henrys pancake breath.
Her cousin is married to one of the police techs who handle crime scenes. As soon as they ran the fingerprints on your mamas corpse, they knew this murder was bigger than usual.
I winced. Please dont call that poor man in the trunk Mamas corpse, Henry. We both know she had nothing to do with it. Its just a question of convincing the police shes innocent.
Ive been busy with that angle, too, Mace. The chief owes me a favor. I represented his nephew in that vandalism mess over the Confederate flag and Martin Luther King Day. I dont know what that moron was thinking, except that he wasnt thinking.
So, the police chief I didnt want my aching butt parked on Henrys hard metal chair all morning.
Well, he was pretty pissed off when he found out that new detective arrested your mama. Martinez, right? Whats he like?
An arrogant jerk.
Well, Miami. What do you expect? So, Chief Johnson tells me your mama taught him Sunday school when he was a kid. Said she caught him swiping a cupcake off of some other boys tray, and read him the riot act. Said it didnt matter whether the thing you steal is big or little, wrong is wrong. God always knows, your mama told him.
I swallowed a lump in my throat as I remembered similar lessons shed drilled into my head over the years.
Anyway, the chief said hell look into her case personally. Henry tapped the file. That Martinez was within his rights to arrest her. But the state attorneys office has to decide whether to file formal charges. They havent done that yet. And they can only hold her so long until they decide one way or the other to prosecute.
What can I do, Henry?
Well, Martinez is going to try to get any information thatll make your mama look guilty. You need to find something that makes it look like shes not.
Like another suspect?
Thatd be nice, Henry said, as he straightened out the paper clip. Find someone else who could have done it, and Aunt Rosaleell be out of jail and back at home before you know it.
Henry paused. Hey, does your mama still make those lemon squares with the icing? I love those.
His mind was beginning to turn to his mid-morning snack. I started to gather my things when my cell phone rang. I fumbled in my purse past tissues, a mini-calendar, and a pack of chewing gum. No comb, of course.
When I answered, the caller was turned away from the mouthpiece, talking to someone else. Multi-tasking has meant the end of good manners.
I waited a couple of moments and then yelled HELLO again, hoping my screech would cause permanent hearing damage.
Yeah, hold on. The caller mumbled distractedly, and then went back to talking to the third person.
I punched the end button on my cell. It rang again.
I think we were disconnected.
We werent disconnected, I said. I hung up. Its rude to call someone and then act like theyre not there.
The caller launched into a bad imitation of a Southern matron. Well, lands sake, where are my manners? I do declah! He switched back to his normal voice, deep with the faintest trace of an accent. Im terribly sorry my behavior doesnt meet your very high standards.
Perdoname,
as we say. Forgive me.
That didnt sound sincere, in Spanish or English.
Hello, Detective Martinez. I made an effort to keep my voice pleasant. Neutral. He was baiting me. I didnt intend to bite.
Henry quickly scribbled a note and passed it across the desk:
Dont talk to the police!!
I nodded and waved my hand to reassure my cousin. I knew what I was doing. I needed details the detective had.
I may seem a little short because Im kind of busy here, Ms. Bauer. Im investigating a murder, in case youd forgotten.
I wondered whether his accent would sound sexy minus the sarcasm.
My memorys pretty good, Detective. Are you ready to let my mother out of jail?
Henry grabbed the note again, added an underline and additional exclamation points, and shook the paper in my face. I turned away, cradling the phone next to my ear.
On the contrary, Ms. Bauer, Martinez said. Recent information has come to light.
Thats exactly what I wanted from him: information.
Im more convinced than ever your mother is where she belongs, he said. I need you to come by the police department. Id like to talk to you about your mothers case.
And there was that awful word again.
