Montana Hearts (13 page)

“You mean that it's not Zoe's?”

She nodded. “Grace, the children. It might upset them.” Although she didn't ask, her eyes seemed to be asking him how he was reacting.

“I don't care whose heart is inside your chest. I just want it to keep on beating for a long, long time.”

She pursed her lips together. Tears sheened her eyes. “Thank you.”

She glanced around the room, then patted the bed next to her. “Sit down. I want to tell you a story.”

“The nurse is probably going to throw me out in a minute. You can tell me another time.”

When she patted the bed again, he lowered the guard-rail and did as she'd asked, then took her hand again.

“Do you know the story of the man who was walking along the beach…with the Lord?”

“I don't think so.” He didn't particularly want to hear it now either. He wanted her to rest and get better, not wear herself out by talking.

“I know you think God deserted you. He didn't.”

The remembered pain of Zoe's last days stung him for the millionth time but not as painfully as it used to.

“It's like the poem. You're like the man walking on the beach with God. The man saw his past and saw two sets of footprints in the sand during those times that he and the Lord were walking together.” Closing her eyes, she rested a minute. “There were other times when there was only one set of footprints. The man asked God…why He'd left him during the worst days of his life.”

Kurt focused on Sarah's hand clasped in his. Not on whatever message she was trying to communicate.

“That's when God told him that where he saw only one set of footprints those were the times he was carrying him. He didn't desert you, Kurt. He was there all the time.”

“That's hard for me to believe, Sarah.”

“I know. But I believe the Lord has carried me much of my life or been right at my side. I believe He brought me here to Sweet Grass Valley, to you, for a reason.” She forced a wry smile. “Evidently it wasn't because I had received Zoe's heart.”

“Then why?”

“I think you know the answer in your heart, Kurt. But you have to
believe
God has had a hand in it. Please try.”

K
urt waited around to see Sarah again. But the nurse strongly encouraged him to leave. Sarah was sleeping. Let nature and the meds do their work, she told him. Come back later.

So Kurt got in his truck for the drive home.

Sarah wanted him to believe in God and His power. All of his life, he had done just that. He'd gone to church almost every Sunday for as long as he could recall. Like most ranchers, he'd prayed for rain during droughts and prayed the snow wouldn't get too deep for his cattle to find food during hard winters. He prayed for his family, for their health and happiness.

Then Zoe died. He'd prayed as hard as he knew how and God didn't answer.

As though his faith had been no more than an illusion made of papier-mâché, his belief in God's power crumbled.

He didn't know where to find a switch to turn his faith back on.

As he reached Sweet Grass Valley ready to turn toward home, the sun caught the glint of the steeple
above Good Shepherd Community Church, reflecting back in his eyes. Squinting, he went past the turn off to the Rocking R.

Instead, he continued down Main Street toward the church.

Sunday service was long over, the parking lot empty.

Kurt pulled up near the white stucco building. The last time he'd stepped inside any church was for Zoe's funeral more than a year ago.

Pastor Hoffman said the door would be open.

Not sure what he'd accomplish, if anything, Kurt climbed out of his truck. The main entrance had arched double doors stained a dark walnut, each decorated with a cross inside an oval. The effect was classic, the message ancient.

He grasped the wooden door handle, worn smooth from the grip of many churchgoers, and pulled the door open.

Light filtered into the church through a stained glass window. A single spotlight focused on a cross on the wall behind the pulpit.

Somehow the silence comforted Kurt as he walked down the side aisle to the front of the church. Two large vases of flowers had been placed on either side of the choir area, scenting the air with a hint of rosebuds, white carnations, purple iris and colorful zinnias.

He slid into a pew and waited. Searching within himself, he tried to find the words he wanted, the words that God would hear coming from him and heed. The words that would make Sarah well again.

Time slipped by bringing memories of Sarah—when
she'd nearly burned down the house trying to barbecue steaks, using the emergency gong to call him home, her help with the hearing before the county commissioners, her endearing routine with Dr. Zoom.

Her collapse at the party yesterday.

Fear crashed in on him as he relived that moment. Fear that squeezed his chest and turned his mouth as dry and parched as a summer drought.

Leaning forward, he gripped the pew in front of him.

Still, the words wouldn't come.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt caught a movement. Pastor Hoffman sat down beside him.

“I saw your truck outside,” he said. “I'm glad you came.”

Kurt shook his head to drive his fears away. “I'm not doing much good here. I can't even remember how to pray.” Much less have faith that his prayers would help Sarah.

“It will come back to you, son.” The pastor placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder. “Let's start with something you know. We'll pray together.”

Hesitantly at first, Kurt joined the pastor in The Lord's Prayer. One word, one phrase at a time, Kurt felt the tightness in his chest ease until they said in unison, “Amen.”

The pastor patted his shoulder. “I know after Zoe died, you gave up on the Lord. But He hasn't given up on you. He's still there. If you speak to Him, He'll listen.”

Kurt bowed his head again as Pastor Hoffman exited
the pew. He was on his own now. No, that's not what Sarah had told him. The Lord was beside him, even carrying him, when his pain grew too great for him to bear alone.

And so he prayed.

He didn't know how much time passed as he sat there praying, but finally he rose to his feet. He'd drained himself of every prayer he could think of, asking the Lord to help Sarah get well. His body ached with fatigue but the burden of defeat he'd carried for so long seemed lighter.

When he turned to walk up the aisle, he was stunned to see so many people in the church. Close to thirty people, so silent he hadn't heard them entering the nave.

Frowning, he identified Bonnie Sue from the diner, Ezra Stone, his neighbor, Angus from the grocery store, Alexis and Pastor Hoffman sitting together. Ranchers with whom he'd shared good times and bad had driven into town to sit in church with him.

Then he spotted Grace with his two children. Grace hadn't been inside a church for as long as Kurt. Now she was there. Praying for Sarah? Even though she knew Zoe's heart wasn't the one struggling to keep Sarah alive.

As he walked by, his friends reached out to him, taking his hand and whispering their good wishes.

“We're praying for Sarah,” Jayne Morgan, Billy's mom, said. “And you.”

“She'll pull through.”

“Count on the Lord.”

“We've all come to love Sarah,” Bonnie Sue said in a voice much softer than her usual brash holler across the diner.

Having trouble keeping his emotions in check, he stopped beside Grace. “Thanks for coming and bringing the kids.”

“Beth convinced me this is what Sarah would want.”

He smiled at his daughter and nodded.

Toby squirmed in his seat. “Beth told me Mervyn the Monster would eat me if I didn't come pray for Sarah. I didn't believe her, but I came anyway.”

The boy lifted his shoulders in a “no big deal” gesture. Kurt knew the truth; it was the biggest kind of deal a nine-year-old macho kid could muster.

As he left the church, stepping out into the sunlight, Kurt marveled at the impact Sarah had made on the townspeople in a few short weeks, the friends that she had made.

He shouldn't be surprised, he realized. In the same short period of time, he'd been thrown, as though by a bucking bronco, all the way to his knees in love with her.

Now he had to figure out how to convince her that they were meant to be together.
If
she recovered from this “small setback” as she called her body rejecting her heart.

As he drove to the ranch, he noticed the rainstorm had awakened the landscape, tinting the grass green in nature's rebirth of life.

Rebirth for Sarah was his prayer.

 

For the next three days, Kurt rose early to do his chores. Without being asked, both Beth and Toby helped out, and Grace came around to be with the kids when Kurt went to the hospital.

Every day after Kurt visited Sarah in ICU, he went by the church to pray. Every day someone else was there praying for Sarah. He finally asked Grace about that.

“They've set up a vigil for Sarah,” Grace explained.

“Friends signed up in shifts from six in the morning until nine at night. Almost everybody in town is taking a turn. They did that for Zoe, too.”

Kurt hadn't known that. He'd been in Seattle, hospitalized himself for several days, then at Zoe's bedside until he'd made the final decision to let her go.

The fact that so many others had been praying for her both awed and humbled him.

Now they were doing the same for Sarah.

Would the Lord hear their prayers this time?

On the fourth morning, Kurt headed up the stairs to the second floor of the hospital and walked directly to ICU.

The nurse shook her head. “She's not here.”

His stomach took a plunge.
Not here? Dear God
…He swallowed painfully before he could speak. “What happened?” She'd looked much better yesterday. He'd hoped…

Instead of her usual stoic, all-business expression, a smile enlivened the nurse's face, making her suddenly look beautiful. “The doctor had Sarah moved to a regular room early this morning. Room 211. She's going to make it.”

He would have sent up a cheer louder than the fans at the end of a championship football game but his lungs had compressed on a huge sigh of relief. The room spun crazily. He put out his hand to steady himself.

“Can I see her?” he finally asked.

“I suspect she's been waiting for you all morning.”

He whirled and hurried down the hallway. He almost lost his balance when he turned sharply into room 211 and had to abruptly halt. Sitting up in bed, Sarah was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. She'd combed her hair and put on some lip gloss. But it was her naturally rosy cheeks and the sparkle in her blue eyes that told him what he needed to know.

She wasn't going to die.

He stepped farther into the room, his focus entirely on Sarah. “Hi, gorgeous.”

She chuckled. “You probably say that to all the girls.”

“I've never meant it more in my life.” When she held out her hand, he took it and bent over to kiss her lips.

“The whole town's been praying for you.”

Raising her brows, she said, “The whole town?”

“Pretty much. They set up a vigil for you, including Grace and the kids.” He drew a breath. “And me.”

She squeezed his hand and tears formed in her eyes. “Thank you.”

“I don't know whose prayer worked, but somebody's did. You're going to be all right.”

“God was listening, Kurt. He heard you.”

Maybe Kurt wasn't one hundred percent sure about that but he intended to keep on praying. Hard.

“So the remaining question is, when is Dr. Trevor
going to let you out of this place so you can come home?”

“He wants to keep me here a day or two to make sure I'm stable.”

Two days. Kurt could wait that long, although he'd be counting the hours.

“Can the kids come visit you now? They don't let children into ICU.”

“Of course. I'd love to see them. Grace, too. Maybe she could pick out some clothes for me to wear when I'm released. Oh, and I really need my cell phone. Tricia Malone, the young lady I told you about who's handling my business this summer, must think I've dropped off the end of the earth by now.”

The reminder that Sarah had a home somewhere else and a business of her own stuck in Kurt's throat like he'd swallowed a rusty nail. He had the urge to find her cell and stomp it into little pieces.

 

Conscious of every steady beat of her heart, of every cleansing breath she drew, Sarah waited the next day for Kurt and his family to visit her.

She'd had her breakfast and a refreshing shower. Though she was weak from so many days in bed, she knew each day she'd regain a little more strength. Soon she'd be taking long walks again.

In Sweet Grass Valley? Or in Seattle?

She heard Beth hushing her brother out in the hallway before Kurt arrived at the door to her room.

“Hope you're decent,” he said, grinning. “Because I'm going to have a small riot on my hands if the kids can't see you.”

Her heart fluttered in a very nice way. She sat up straighter in her bed. “Bring 'em on!”

Kurt stepped aside, replaced by Beth, who was carrying a large vase filled with cut flowers. She smiled shyly from the doorway. “Hi.”

“The flowers are beautiful.”

“Dad bought them for you but he said to tell you they're from all of us.”

“Then I thank all of you.” Especially Kurt, who was grinning like mischievous boy who'd just pulled a prank on everyone. “Is a ‘hi' all I get from you, Beth?” Sarah opened her arms. “How about a hug?”

Still hesitant, the girl came closer and put the flowers on the bed table. “I don't want to hurt you.”

“You won't, I promise.”

Leaning forward, Beth put her arms around Sarah, who hugged her back. Stiff at first, Beth finally relaxed enough to give her a proper hug.

“I was so scared,” Beth whispered, her head next to Sarah's.

“I was, too. But I'm okay now.” She patted Beth's back and stroked her blond ponytail.

Sniffing as though fighting tears, Beth said, “I prayed for you to get better.”

The girl's admission touched Sarah deeply. She knew how hard it had been for Beth to lose her mother. Sarah's relapse could have broken her spirit. She was grateful to God that it hadn't. “Looks like your prayers worked, honey. Thank you.”

“I prayed, too.” Toby stood on the opposite side of the bed.

“Well, thank you, Toby. I can't tell you how much I
appreciate your prayers. Sounds like the Ryder family has been keeping the Lord busy lately.”

The boy grinned. “Look who I brought along.” Growling, he showed Sarah his Mervyn the Monster dummy.
“Why do gorillas have big nostrils?”

Sarah choked back a laugh. “My goodness, I don't know why gorillas have big nostrils.”

“Don't ask,” Beth said. “It's really gross.”

Toby ignored his sister.
“Because gorillas have big fingers.”

Beth groaned. So did Sarah, but she laughed, too. “Good one, Toby.” Just gross enough to be perfect for a nine-year-old boy. “Dr. Zoom will have to remember that one.”

“He's told that joke so many times in the past twenty-four hours,” Kurt said standing at the foot of her bed,

“that we've all memorized it and are dreaming about gorillas in our sleep.”

Grace had slipped into the room last and was putting some clothes in the narrow closet provided for the patients. That was a favor Sarah hadn't been able to ask of Kurt. One serious kiss and a couple of pecks on the cheek didn't mean their relationship had progressed that far.

“I brought you a nightgown, too.” Grace didn't look at Sarah as she spoke, instead she opened the drawer below the closet to put away the gown. “I'm sure you hate wearing those drafty hospital gowns as much as I do.”

“Thank you, Grace. I know…” Sarah didn't quite know what to say. Clearly, Grace more than the others had wanted to believe a part of Zoe had come back to
her. Learning that Sarah's new heart had belonged to someone else must have caused her to grieve for her daughter all over again. “I'm sorry,” she finally said.