My One Regret (Martin Family Book 3) (12 page)

Chapter 19

I was standing in Claire's living room, wrapped in Ryan's arms. She and her roommates were nowhere to be seen, and Ryan and I did our best to be quiet because we wanted to keep it that way.

We had been standing there, whispering to each other for a few minutes when I got onto him for being late to my show earlier that evening. "You'll have to sing them for me again," he said.

It was a simple enough statement, but to me, it held a promise—one that had me feeling all warm inside. I had washed my hair and taken off all of my makeup in the shower, and Ryan just stood there and stared at me like I was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. He was handsome, successful, and kind, but most of all he loved me. I had an innate understanding, simply by the way he looked at me, that he would love me forever.

"You'll have to sing them again," was what he said, but I heard, "You'll have to sing for me for the rest of our lives."

"Yes," I said to both.

"Right now?" he asked, glancing to the door where we had stashed my guitar case.

I shook my head.

"What about just a little," he said.

I continued shaking my head. "Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because we're gonna wake everybody up."

"It's not even that late," he said glancing around, trying to locate a clock.

"I don't really care if we wake them up so much," I said. "I just don't want them comin' out here."

"Why not? You feel in the mood to ditch your friends?" he asked, teasing me.

"Yeah, I am sort of trying to ditch them," I whispered, looking around at their doors as if making sure they weren't coming.

"Why's that?" he asked. "You don't like 'em or somethin'?"

I shook my head. "It's not that. It's just that I'm trying to hang out with this guy, and if they come out here, it'll sort of be killin' my vibe."

He grinned. "Tell me more about this guy you're trying to impress," he said.

I shook my head seriously. "Oh, I'm not trying to
impress
him," I said. "I've already done that. He's crazy about me."

Another grin. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I didn't say I was trying to impress him. I said I was trying to
hook up
with him." My eyes widened when I said the words 'hook up', and he let out a quiet laugh.

"I thought you said you were trying to
hang out
," he said.

I shook my head. "Nope, I'm pretty sure I said
hook up
."

He shook his head. "You said
hang out
."

"They're the same thing," I said. I watched the corner of his mouth turn upward with a slight grin. I wanted to kiss his lips so badly that I found it difficult to breathe.

"No, they're not," he said, staring at my mouth before making eye contact with me again.

"What's different about them?" I asked, even though I was ready to stop talking and kiss him already.

He glanced at the couch a few feet away. "Hangin' out means we gonna walk over there and sit on the couch. Prolly watch a movie or somethin'."

I smiled at his Cajun accent, which he exaggerated for my entertainment. I shook my head, glancing down shyly. "I think a movie's good, but I was hoping other stuff would happen," I said. I bit my lip, feeling shy, and he squeezed my waist to get me to look at him.

"What were you hoping would happen, Wynn?"

"You mean with that theoretical guy I'm trying to impress?" I asked felling coy like I needed to squirm a little.

He just shook his head at me. "No," he said. "With a real one."

"Who, you?" I asked, barely breathing.

He nodded almost imperceptibly.

"What was the question?" I asked, since I was too dazed to remember what we were even talking about at this point.

He smiled. "You said you wanted other stuff to happen besides just watching a movie, and then we clarified that you wanted it to happen with a real guy instead of the theoretical one. Me, actually. I think we specified that it needs to happen with me specifically."

I giggled and leaned up to kiss his neck. I put a second kiss on his cheek while I was at it, and he pulled me closer using his hand behind my back.

"That's what I want to happen," I whispered into his ear.

He leaned down and put his lips to my temple, kissing me softly. "That?" he asked.

I nodded, and he put another kiss on the top of my cheek.

"That?" he whispered again.

I nodded, biting my bottom lip with anticipation.

He kissed me again—this time on my cheek. He was getting closer and closer to my mouth every time.

"That?" he asked.

I nodded before reaching up to touch his face. I cupped my palm around his jaw and ran my fingertips down his hairline and over his ear before finally letting my hand come to rest around the back of his head. I used my fingernails to gently scratch his head, and he tilted his head back with pleasure, which made me smile.

I pulled on the back of his head at the same time that I stretched up to kiss him. I knew he was going to kiss me soon, anyway, and I just couldn’t wait any longer. I gripped the back of his hair, pulling him forward in an effort to quench my need for his kiss. He turned with me in his arms, taking one step forward so he could position my back against a wall. I leaned into the wall, trusting it for balance as I concentrated on Ryan, who was standing right in front of me.

He put his forearm on the wall next to my head. It was so close that his arm was right up against my cheek, and I loved the physical pressure. I closed my eyes, and leaned my cheek into his arm, finding comfort in his solidness. I ran my cheek against his arm like a content cat before opening my eyes so I could stare at him. "Ryan?"

He pulled back and looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I love you."

He smiled. "I know."

"You do?"

He nodded.

"How?"

He smiled. "Because you told me."

"I did?"

He smiled and nodded again.

"Oh, well, then I said it twice."

"Let's hear it one more time, just to make sure," he said.

"I love you, Ryan Collins," I whispered into his ear. "And you don't even have to say it back because I already know it's true."

"You're right," he said.

I grinned. "I know." I took his face into my hands, looking at it for several long seconds. "I love you," I said again since that's just how I felt.

He smiled, which moved his cheeks, which moved my hands, making me smile, too.

"I loooove youuuu,"
I said, only this time, I sang it in a soft falsetto.

He shook his head while wearing a serious expression. I had no idea what he was thinking, but it didn’t really matter because the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. I pressed my head against the wall, pulling him toward me. He pressed into me, holding me securely in place. I opened to him, and he let his tongue dip into my mouth. I held onto him for fear that my knees might completely give out from underneath me. Ryan kissed me deeply for several long seconds before pulling back to kiss me gently. He repeated this process a few times, going from kissing me deeply to kissing me softly again.

"I love you," I said breathlessly when he pulled back and was in the process of kissing my cheek.

"You told me that already," he whispered in between kisses.

"I did?" I asked, still breathless.

"Yes," he whispered between another kiss on my cheek.

"Oh well, it's true," I said, running my hands along his jaw, neck and shoulders.

The room was dimly lit, but I could clearly see the dark stubble that grew along his jaw. I ran my fingers over it, thinking about what a man he was. My man.

"I think we're gonna have a good story," I said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," I said.

I pulled away, holding onto his hand so he would follow me to the couch. I sat cross-legged, and tugged on his hand to join me. He sat down next to me, and I settled-in right next to him, pressing my body as close as I could to his side. If it were possible to unbutton him and crawl inside, I would have done it. I repositioned where my legs were underneath me in a different way just so I could get closer to him. He let out a laugh as he raised his arm to make room for me.

"We're gonna be good together," I said.

He gave me a sweet, knowing smile. He could have said he tried to tell me that same thing two years before, but he didn't. He glanced toward the TV, which wasn't even on. I stared at his profile, which I loved. I took my fingertip and ran it in the middle of his forehead and down his nose slowly. We both smiled when I ran it across his lips, and then gently over his chin and down his neck. I wanted to spend the rest of my life getting to know every curve of him. He turned to smile at me once I finally completed my study of his profile.

"I love your nose," I said, making his smile broaden as he shook his head at me. "And your mouth," I said, staring straight at it as he smiled. "And right here," I added, touching the area next to his eye before letting my fingertips trace his jaw. "Everything I see, I love," I said.

He just stayed there with his head resting on the back of the couch, smiling at me while I looked at and talked about every detail of his face.

"I'll never leave you," he said.

It was a simple statement, delivered in the dry tone of a man who didn't really get too gushy, but I knew he really meant it, which made it sort of monumental.

"I won't leave this time, either," I said.

"You won't?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No."

He stared at me for what felt like a full minute with an unreadable expression. I had absolutely no idea what he would say when he spoke again. "Still hard for me to believe it's real," he said, letting me in on what he was thinking.

"Me too," I said. "But it is."

"Yep."

"I'm right here, and you're right there," I said, gesturing to our proximity.

He smiled. "Yep."

"And we're gonna stay like this forever."

He smiled and looked around. "We just gonna stay in Claire's living room forever? Order takeout?"

I leaned into him. "No, but we're still gonna be together. No more goodbyes."

"Still sinking in," he said, shaking his head a little and wearing a little grin.

I reached up to touch his face. "Have I told you that I love you, Ryan?"

He shook his head at me, wearing a serious expression. "I don't think so," he said.

I smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Well I do," I said.

Chapter 20

Several months passed, and I never felt any differently about Ryan. If anything, I loved him more and more as time went on.

I had been to his classroom a few times, and I loved seeing him in his element at work. It hadn't been that long since he was in college himself, so he was able to apply his experience there to his own teaching. He was everything he wished his history professors would have been, which translated into him being really good at his job.

The first time I went up there was to surprise him with a cake for his birthday. I stuck around that day, hanging out with his students and embarrassing him by making them all sing to him.

I loved watching him interact with them. It hadn't hit me until that day that this job wasn't about just teaching history. Ryan was in a position to impact these students' lives, and I felt so proud of him now that I saw the way he engaged with them. He was truly focused on helping them be better people. Since then, I had made up random excuses to go up there, like "just wanted to bring doughnuts," and things like that.

I was looking at some books he had open on the table one night when he was preparing, and I made up a little song. It was about Custer and the Battle at Bighorn, and Ryan leaned back in his chair, looking thoroughly entertained. He had me sing it again while he videoed me with his phone. I didn't even think to tell him not to show anybody, so he assumed he could share it with his students. I'd been a bit of a celebrity at Tulane ever since then—at least in the history department.

I was currently finishing another song about Custer's wife, Elizabeth, with whom Ryan seemed to have a real fascination—in a historical sort of way, of course. Anyway, I wrote a song about her, and I had plans to perform this one live for one of his classes instead of letting him video it on his phone.

"I brought my guitar so I could show you the song," I said, kissing him on the cheek as I walked into his front gate from the sidewalk.

"Good," he said. "I told them you were coming to Wednesday's class. They're excited about it."

The courtyard in the front of Ryan's house was private, so the gate that led to it (although made of ornate iron and therefore see-through) felt more like the front door of his house. There was an eight-foot brick wall completely surrounding it, creating a private front yard in spite of his house being in a fairly busy neighborhood. The whole house had come a long way during the last few months.

Ryan took my guitar off of my shoulder as I came in the gate. I shrugged out of it, and smiled at him, reaching up for one more kiss on the cheek just because.

"You got the fountain running?" was the first thing I asked when I finished greeting him.

He nodded as we started off that way. "The guy came earlier today. He had to replace the pump and patch a few things. I wouldn't have even known where to start. He was here for like three hours, and he used all sorts of weird tools."

"It's working, though," I said, crossing the courtyard to the beautiful Spanish-inspired water feature.

"Oh, it's definitely working," he said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I wanted to surprise you. I knew you'd love it."

I stepped closer so I could get a better look. There was no way I could have pictured how the water chose to fall over the tiers of that fountain, and I stood there, appreciating how beautiful and peaceful it was. Now that I saw it in operation, I realized what a shame it was that it had been sitting there unused all this time.

"I'm so glad spring's coming," I said, looking around. "I'm gonna plant a bunch of flowers and plants out here. My dad knows someone at a nursery where we can get stuff wholesale."

"That's all you," he said.

I stared at the fountain, watching as water trickled off the edge. I followed the flow of water, down one ledge, and into another pool before tracing it down another ledge. Finally, I stared at the pool at the bottom, wondering how exactly the pump managed to get the water from the bottom pool all the way back up to the top. "We can put some chairs out here," I said absentmindedly as I continued to stare into the lowest pool. A shimmery object caught my eye on the bottom, and I squinted down at it.

"Yeah, some chairs," Ryan said from behind me. "That'll be good."

"What is that?" I asked, leaning in to focus on the shiny object. I thought it was a coin he had thrown into the fountain. "Did you already make a wish—what is that?" I asked, again, stooping down to get a better look at it. "Ryan…" I leaned even closer. "Ryan, there's a piece of jewelry in your fountain. Ryan, there's a ladies ring sitting in the bottom of your fountain."

I reached down and pulled it out, holding it carefully as I took a second to inspect it. I was numb and tingly at the thought of what this might be. I glanced from the ring to Ryan, who was standing there watching me intently. He tilted his head with a perplexed expression. "A ladies ring, ay? What do you think
that's
doing down there?"

I looked from the ring, down to the bottom pool of the fountain. "Did you put this in there?" I asked.

He smiled at the fact that I was genuinely puzzled. "I hope so, otherwise the pond guy lost his ring."

My eyebrows furrowed as I held up the ring. "Is this for me?" I asked.

He nodded, and I looked at the fountain again.

"You didn't even tell me to look in there," I said.

"I know I didn't," he said, amused. "You looked all by yourself."

"What if I wouldn't have?" I asked.

"But you did," he said, grinning.

"Is this for me?" I asked one more time, since I just couldn't help myself.

He nodded again.

"Are you marrying me?" I asked.

"I think you're marrying me, but maybe that's the same thing."

I had never wanted anything in my life as much as I wanted to marry Ryan. I placed the ring on my finger and stared down at it.

"It's my grandma's," he said. "We can get something different, or have it reset if you want."

"Oh my gosh, I love it just like it is," I said. "I thought it was vintage inspired. I can't believe it was your grandma's."

"It was actually my great grandma's, but my grandma's the one who gave it to me."

"And you're giving it to me?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I get you in the deal," he said.

I smiled at the ring and then up at him. "So you basically get the ring back, anyway," I said.

He nodded.

I looked at the beautiful, feminine piece of jewelry one more time as it rested in it's new place on my left ring finger.

"Did you really just drop this in the fountain and assume I'd find it?" I asked.

"Yep," he said. "And it worked. You fell right into my trap." He pulled me into his arms as if demonstrating the trap-like nature of my predicament.

I smiled hopelessly up at him. "I want this trap," I said. "I volunteer for this trap."

"Is that a yes?" he asked.

I stared at him thinking about how ridiculous it was to think about telling him 'no'. I would never in a million years tell him 'no'.

"Yes, Ryan, it's definitely a yes." I reached up to touch his face, my hand still shaking with nerves. "What kinds of things are we gonna do?"

He pulled back to stare at me. "You mean tonight or forever?"

"Forever," I said.

"Plant plants," he said.

"Make music," I added.

"Make music," he seconded before adding, "And make pasta."

"Oh, tons of food," I said. "Lots of food."

"We'll probably buy houses, and build houses, and sell houses," he said.

I smiled up at him, feeling like there was no possible way for me to feel more in love than I was right then.

"My mom said we'll probably feel like we don't love each other sometimes, but we have to just choose to get through that, and then we'll fall in love again before you know it."

He smiled and squinted his eyes at me. "You already making plans to fall out of love?" he asked, teasing me.

"No. I just want to be prepared for anything."

He grinned at me like he thought I was cute. "What else are we gonna do besides possibly fall in and out of love a few times?" he asked, still smiling.

"We'll dance."

"We'll laugh," he said.

"So much laughing," I agreed, shaking my head. "How about babies?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, we'll have babies."

"They're gonna be cute," I said.

"The cutest." He put a gentle kiss on my lips, and I caught myself thanking God that I ended up with the best one in spite of all my mistakes.

"I love you," I said.

"I know," he said raising his chin at me with a knowing smile.

"Tell me, too," I said, wiggling in his arms. "I want you to say it back."

"Say what?" he asked. "That I love you?"

I nodded.

"I love you, Wynn. I love you enough to never not love you. I'll never, ever not love you."

I smiled and kissed him again before turning to stare at the fountain from over my shoulder. "I still can't believe you just dropped it in the fountain like that and expected me to find it."

His chest shook with laughter. "But you did," he said.

I held out my hand so I could stare at my new ring. "I guess I did."