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I felt my stomach tense up even more at his impartial bullshit. This was one of the strangest situations I’d ever been in with Natalie. I cared about her, I really did, but I wasn’t sure how much I could take anymore. She’d been at her
boyfriend’s
house, and I think the thing that was bothering me the most was that she’d pulled some raw sensitivity out of me the other day. That was the
exact
thing I tried to avoid with women.

I felt like a fucking fool right now.

“Fine.” It was all I could answer, and the rest of the ride to my house was in awkward silence.

When we got inside, Madden joined the guys in the front room and I pulled Natalie behind me for my bedroom. I didn’t hear anyone ask about it, but I knew if they did, Madden would cover for me.

I pushed her onto the edge of the bed to sit and crossed my arms over my chest. “Talk.”

She took a deep breath and leaned her elbows onto her knees, rubbing her face with her hands. “It’s Davey,” she whispered, shaking her head. “He’s in trouble and I was trying to help but… I think I made it worse.”

10

D
avey was Natalie’s younger brother. I think he was about nineteen or twenty. I’d never known him to be a troublemaker, though. He was kind of a quiet guy, somewhat the opposite of their other two siblings, Ben and Oliver. Natalie was a mix of her three brothers.

I sat on the bed next to her. “Tell me what’s going on.”

She took another deep breath and slowly released it. “Davey’s mixed up with some people. A few of ‘em are the same ones Ollie ran with.” She made the sign of the cross for her oldest brother. “They’ve got him running dope.” She looked up at me, the pain in her eyes apparent. “Different boss than Ollie, same game. I don’t care what mistakes Davey’s made or how he got in with these guys…but he doesn’t belong there. I want him out. I can’t lose him too. I can’t.”

“Whose house were you at?”

She swallowed. “Derek’s.”

“Nat, I don’t fucking know anyone named Derek. And if this asshole is someone you’re seeing, then you have a lot of explaining—”

“His name is Derek Danzig. He’s a dealer.”

I’d froze mid-sentence until a shock of nerves hit my stomach. I wished I hadn’t heard her correctly. “Zig,” was all I got out.

Most people knew him as Zig. He was a notorious middleman thug who had once been part of my life years back, before he’d gotten really heavy into the felonies and shit. My dad and I had butted heads about me being friends with Zig in high school. At the time, I didn’t know what the guy was into. And even after I did, I was sort of in a rebellious phase against my father and chose to fight him on it anyway.

I couldn’t understand why Natalie had been at Zig’s house, but even just the thought of it made my entire body tense up.

“Tell me why you were at Zig’s house.”

“You know him?”

“Tell me why you were at his house.”

Natalie sighed. “I straight up asked him to leave my brother alone.”

I tried not to react with disappointment, frustration, or arrogance, but that’s what I was feeling. I didn’t even have to ask in order to know Nat’s attempts were useless. The guy was a selfish piece of shit who made it his life’s work to hold the upper hand.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” I asked, my jaw clenched until I got an answer.

“No. He, uh, well he told me to stick around for a bit. You know, a cocky ass move to basically spit in my face. He said I could see he was just a regular guy trying to make it in the world like everyone else. He wanted me to ‘kick it with ‘em’.”

“So how’d you end up in the bathroom, crying, calling me?”

She huffed out a breath of air. “A few other guys stopped by. They were…eyeing me. One of them said he’d like to stick his dick so far up me until I screamed for him to stop. Derek—I guess for showmanship for my sake—punched him so hard in the face I heard the guy’s nose break. Blood was everywhere. I just…” She made a face that feigned gagging.

Natalie was a tough little cookie from New York, but the one thing she couldn’t stomach was the sight of blood or anything else physically horrific like broken bones or death. I could only imagine what that had been like for her. I’d actually seen her throw up once, when Chris got cut deep from a fence and needed stitches a couple years ago.

“I went into the bathroom to compose myself,” she continued. “I gagged a few times but nothing came up, I felt a bit lightheaded, and then when I peeked out the window and realized a couple of those guys were hanging around my car, I called you. I’m sorry I pulled you into this mess, but I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t call the cops. I need Davey to get out of this shit first.”

“Did Zig know you left?”

She picked at a piece of lint on her black jeans. “Yeah. I cleaned my face up, and when I came out, Derek said something like, ‘See baby girl, I take care of my people. Your brother be fine.’ I think I just nodded or whatever and walked out the back door to avoid those other guys at my car. I didn’t want them to see you coming for me, so when I saw you…”

I nodded as all of it came together. “Where’s your car?”

“Still parked on the side street.”

I took a minute to process everything. I didn’t like the situation one bit, but I could see where Natalie was coming from. Her courage was admirable, but I didn’t want her around Derek Danzig ever again.

“Nat, my dad arrested Zig a couple of times.”

Her forehead creased between her eyebrows. “I didn’t know that.”

“I used to be friends with him years back, and when he spent a couple years in jail, that’s when I got accepted to college. Definitely a good thing at that point.”

“I didn’t know you knew him, Dane. I’m so sorry. Now I feel even worse…” She dropped her face into her hands.

“Don’t worry about it, babe. But I want you to stay away from him, okay? I could seriously yell at you right now for going to his place by yourself, but I won’t. Just don’t ever do it again.”

“But Davey…”

“I’ll talk to Davey, okay? Let me see what’s going on with him. But I’m serious, Natalie. Stay the fuck away from Derek Danzig. Got it?”

She nodded reluctantly, causing me to fear she would defy my warning anyway.

My phone buzzed with a text, and upon pulling it out to check the message, I could feel Natalie reading over my shoulder.

“Who’s Holly?” she asked.

I gave her a look for being nosy but answered, “Just someone I met a week or so ago.”

She scoffed. “Oh, so you can get pissy when you think I’m screwing someone else, but you’ve got…pssh,
that
,” she pointed to my phone.

“ ‘That’ is not anything,” I retorted, feeling a bit miffed. “I thought it could be something but then I felt somewhat annoyed with her for stuff, and decided to forget it.”

“Doesn’t look like she’s decided to forget it. And you and I agreed that we’d let the other know who we’d slept with in between our own little sessions. You know, to be safe.”

“I haven’t slept with her,” I growled. “And I was pissed because I thought
you’d
overlooked that agreement with- with some fucker named Derek!”

She looked at me wide-eyed. “I would never be dishonest with you, Dane.”

“Then tell me what all of that was in my office the other day. Did it have to do with your brother, or was it something else?”

I assumed it did have to do with her brother, so I was surprised when she paused for so long. She took a deep breath and exhaled. “Both. My brother and…you.”

With an eyebrow cocked, I turned slightly on the bed toward her. “What about me?”

And then this is where Natalie always closed up. Any time there was a possibility of getting close to her or hearing anything personal come out of her mouth, she either shut down or gave me hell.

“Natalie, you know I’m here for you, right? When have I ever given you the impression that I wouldn’t be? You can talk to me about anything.”

“Not always,” she mumbled.

“
Try me
.”

“Dane, any time I try to get anything personal out of you, you just shut down on me or argue.”

Whoa. Wait, what? Was she reading my thoughts or… “Did I accidentally say that out loud?”

She stared at me. “Say what? And seriously, are you avoiding the question?”

“What question did you actually ask? You told me I’m secretive and argumentative. Those are
your
traits, Nat.”

She laughed at me. “No, Dane, that’s
you
entirely.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I actually care to talk about things with you but you’re the one who avoids it or rushes out as soon as possible.”

“You do that!” she scoffed. “Gahhh, seriously?”

“Okay Miss ‘I collect the sweatshirts of men I sleep with so I can feel really fucking proud of myself, oh there’s another notch on my bedpost.’ ”

“Ugh! Really, Dane!? You are so fucking dense!”

“Dense? How does that make me dense!?”

“Because I don’t do that, okay? Duh! I only told you that as a joke because you seemed to think that way about me and… Ugh, just drop it,” she groaned while standing. “This is just a repeat of our fight at the bar.”

I stood to face her. “No, you called me some shitty names that night.”

“Because you were acting pretty shitty.”

“And how was I acting? You come in there with your friends and insult me just to impress them? I fucking hate those two, Natalie. Krista is a total bitch and Whitney is dumb as fuck. You can do better than that.”

“I only said you looked like a creepy perv stalking women because of the attitude
you
threw at
us
. I’m sick of you insulting my friends!”

“You remember that night when we were all at Hudson’s Grill? When Krista went home with that soccer player? The one who was interested in you instead?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Yes, I remember. But I went home with
you
instead. You remember
that
?”

“Of course I do, and that’s my point. I’m bringing it up because Krista told that guy you and I were married.”

She gave me a blank stare until she blinked. “What?”

“Mmhmm. And it’s not the first time she’s pulled shit like that. She’s jealous as fuck of you and would throw you under a bus in a heartbeat if it meant saving her own ass. Or…getting it laid.”

Natalie exhaled and sat down on the bed again, shaking her head. “I know you wouldn’t make something like that up…”

“No, I would not. But I’ve also never felt like it was my place to tattle about shit like that. Sometimes I feel like you’d put them before us so I just let it go, hoping you’ll learn soon enough.”

She looked up at me. “Us?”

I could feel the conversation shift instantly. And when the guys started hootin’ and hollerin’ from the other room, I so badly wished I were out there instead.

“Dane, do you remember some of the stuff you said at Baseline—when you got wasted, sobered up, and then took me home with you?”

Shit, it could have been anything. I remembered having shots at the bar, beer, playing pool with the guys, sitting down with Natalie…and then eating some food and shooting pool again.

“I guess not,” I admitted. I knew she’d been there with me, but what I’d said could have been anything. I was sort of scared to find out.

“Well, to summarize your ramblings… You said I’d be an amazing girlfriend but we’d both probably find a way to fuck it up.”

I sighed as I sat down next to her.

“Honest Dane came out to play that night,” she continued. “It was refreshing for a change. I like it when you let down your guard a little bit and say what you feel. It’s the only reason I like to see you drink.”

“Who says I really meant it,” I smirked. “Maybe I was just being an asshole.”

She shrugged. “Maybe so. But I seriously doubt it.”

And there it was. In a round about way, Natalie brought the subject front and center.

Sighing again, I ran my hands through my hair. “I’ve known you for five years now.”

“Yep.”

“Five years and we still don’t hate each other.”

“Nope, not entirely.”

I gave her a side-glance, finally getting a smug smile from her. “And that’s what I’ve always focused on,” I added. “I’ve never wanted to mess that up.”

“Oh, this has to do with
friendship
?” she scoffed. “You’ve already given me that line, Dane. Five years ago, three years ago, two months ago… I’ve already told you it’s not something you need to worry about.”

This is why I hated discussions such as this.
No one
can predict what will or will not happen. Natalie seemed so confident at the moment, but what would happen if I disappoint her or didn’t live up to her expectations? What would happen when she decides she can get better from someone else?

“Wow, your mind is in serious overdrive,” she spoke softly while studying me intensely. “Dane, seriously. Why don’t you believe me?”

“Is this something you really want, Nat? Something steady with me?”

“It’s called a relationship. And yes. I do.”

Her eyes on me were severe, almost stubborn. It’s not like I’d never thought about it before, but she’d always been so aloof with me. Maybe Madden really was right about that. Maybe she’d only been that way because I’d set that standard.

“Have you always felt that way or…?” I really didn’t know how else to finish the question.

“Well… Maybe since about a year ago,” she replied. “I mean…I think that kind of tipped the scale. That trip to Vegas with all of us?”

I examined the carpet for a minute because I didn’t want her to witness my confusion. I had no idea what she was talking about. I think Madden and I spent the whole weekend drunk. I’d probably slept with Natalie. Hell, probably a few times. She was the only woman I’d ever trust under those conditions.

“I know you don’t remember, Dane, but you and I had some really in-depth conversation one night. I never brought it up again, though. I didn’t want to ruin your fun memories from the rest of the weekend.”