One Wore Blue (8 page)

But he was no longer in his taunting mood, Kiernan realized as Lacey left. He wandered to one of the front-facing windows, pulled back the drape, and stared out broodingly.

Kiernan felt a quickening in her heart. “Jesse, what’s wrong? Are you lying to make Lacey feel better? Are we in serious trouble here? Do you think that a full-scale revolt will break out?”

He turned back to her and shook his head slowly. “No, Kiernan, I’m not lying. John Brown can’t expect any more help. If he could, it would already have come his way. No, I’m afraid that Mr. Brown is doomed.”

Kiernan snapped, irritated, “The man is a murderer. He
should
be doomed. Are you in sympathy with him?”

Again, Jesse shook his head. “No, I can’t condone what he’s done. If I were judge or juryman, I’d have to condemn him to death. And if he isn’t killed when the troops ride in, I’m sure he will hang.”

“Then what’s wrong?” she asked him.

He looked at her again, really looked at her. “You were
always an intuitive little thing,” he told her softly. He felt warmth—startling, deep—ripple through him. So often she had read his mind and his thoughts. He remembered coming home from West Point determined to go on to medical school. He had stopped to pay his respects to her father, and she had been sitting at the piano. And she had looked up and smiled when he had come into the room. “Are you going to tell your pa that you want to be a doctor more than a planter?” His interest in medicine was no real surprise to anyone—he had always been fascinated by the field. But he was the eldest son of a very prosperous cotton and tobacco planter. He’d made the decision to go on to medical school himself, without leaving the military. He wanted to combine his interest in medicine with the military, and he thought that he could do very well. He hadn’t explained it all to his father, his sister, or even to Daniel yet. But when Kiernan had looked at him that day, he knew that she understood.

“Intuitive,” Jesse murmured again now, his smile curving ruefully. “Either that, or you’ve always known me.”

Kiernan wanted to know him—very much, at that moment. She wanted to know him better than anyone else in the world knew him. In fact, she wanted to rise and rush over to the window to him and feel him put his arms around her and hold her close. But she was afraid—she didn’t know why—of the emotions she was reading in his eyes, in his manner.

“So what
is
wrong?” she repeated, curling her fingers into the sofa.

“I’m not sure, Kiernan. It won’t end here—that’s what I’m afraid of, I think. That these events will go on and on. The bloodshed between the abolitionists and the proslavery men will not end out in Kansas. The cry for states’ rights will go on, and the split between people will drive more and more deeply into the land itself. I won’t like the way our world begins to move. I love my life the way that it is. I love Cameron Hall, and my brother and my sister, and the sloping grass and the James River and—” He broke off, then shrugged, and she realized that he had let her glimpse far more of himself than he had intended.

“Nothing is going to change,” Kiernan said quickly. “Cameron Hall has stood for centuries now! And Daniel will always be near.” She smiled. “We’re all Tidewater people. We’ll all remain that.”

“Ah—not if you marry this mountain man, this Anthony of yours,” he said. He was teasing her again—and he was doing it because he didn’t want her to pursue the conversation in the direction it had been going.

Still, she flushed just slightly. “I haven’t made up my mind to marry Anthony,” she said.

“Why not?” he demanded.

Kiernan rose and strode across the room to the other window. She wanted to offer him a charming smile and tell him that it was none of his business.

But the truth suddenly flooded through her, and she didn’t want to tell him the truth either.

That she had been waiting for him. Always.

She lifted her chin, smiled at him, and decided to offer a half-truth. “I’m not sure that I love him.”

“Ah. Is there someone that you do love?” he asked softly. But he suddenly seemed angry, both with her and with himself. “Never mind, don’t answer that,” he told her.

“I didn’t intend to. My feelings are none of your business,” she snapped quickly.

“Kiernan, I—” He took a step toward her, then paused. When he stepped toward her again, she was stunned when he suddenly pulled her into his arms, pulled her hard against him. His fingers threaded through her hair at her nape, and she almost protested the pain, except that she could feel his passion. He gazed down at her with intensity. “Kiernan, you don’t understand. The world is going to change, and I’m afraid that I’m going to disappoint you. I wish that I could make you understand.” He stared at her searchingly. “Kiernan!” He shook her slightly. Her head fell back farther, and her eyes met his—not with alarm, but with surprise and curiosity, and with a flame to challenge his words. “Oh, hell!” he whispered. He cupped her chin, and she felt the rough texture of his palm and fingers, his stroke gentle
and provocative as he deftly moved his thumb against the softness of her flesh. He lowered his head and kissed her.

It was like no other kiss she had ever known.

Anthony had kissed her, brushed his lips against hers. It had been pleasant enough. She had considered the experience with a certain amusement.

But now she knew that his pleasant touch had been oh, so tepid.

This was fire—sweet, savage fire. He asked no permission, gave her no chance for the least hesitance. His lips molded over hers, claiming them completely, giving fire and heat and passion and demanding it in return. He kissed her the way no gentleman should ever kiss a lady.

But Jesse had never pretended to be a gentleman. Not with her.

And with the moist searing heat of his lips against hers, she wanted to be no lady.

He pulled her ever closer against him. Her hooped petticoats rose to her rear as her body pressed decadently close to his. His tongue wedged through the barrier of her lips and teeth and delved wickedly into the dark and secret recesses of her mouth. It seemed to enter deeper into the secret chambers of her soul and body. The excitement she had always felt when he was near took soaring flight. Her heart hammered, her limbs felt weak—and the heat was part of her now, urging her to slip her arms around his neck, to taste the kiss, to give way to the sweet, evocative passion.

Still he kissed her, his tongue playing with hers, his lips commanding, his body so close, so tight. She could feel so many raw, exhilarating sensations, the shape and form of him, the feel of his clothing, the heat and desire that lay beneath it. She could feel herself molding the length of his form. Longings that were reckless and wild crept into her mind and heart, winding throughout her like a serpent—the serpent that had brought Adam and Eve to the brink of damnation in Eden.

Jesse …

His lips were coercive, moving against hers, molding them so hotly. His tongue flicked here and there.

Ah, if this was damnation, let the fires begin! She would gladly have abandoned all for him. She would have walked naked with him into a field of green grass and flowers and lain down beside him.…

He broke the kiss at last, just lifting his lips from hers. The warmth of his breath stirred an even deeper quivering within her as his whisper touched her. “If he can’t kiss you like this, Kiernan, don’t marry him.”

“What?” she demanded sharply. Furious, she tried to pull away. She raised a hand to strike him, but he caught it, and his laughter, husky and rich, rang out.

“If he can’t kiss you like that, sweetheart, don’t marry him.”

“Bastard!” she charged him, struggling to be free.

But he pulled her tight once again. “Hold out for the best there is, Kiernan. You should have it. Make sure that there’s fire. Maybe there’ll be ice, too, but hold out for the extremes, for the best, the brightest. Don’t accept anything lukewarm. Because you’re fire and ice, and you’re the brightest and the best, Kiernan.”

“Kiernan! Captain!” Lacey called to them, hurrying to the parlor doorway. “Breakfast.”

His eyes remained locked on hers. Then at last he released her.

Kiernan took a quick swing, slapping him hard against the cheek.

“Oh dear!” Lacey wailed.

“You don’t play fair,” Jesse told Kiernan, smiling slowly as he raised a hand to his reddening cheek.

“Fair! Jesse Cameron, you—”

“Ah, ah, careful, Kiernan. Watch out for Mrs. Donahue’s tender ears,” he warned her quickly, laughing at her again. Both his hands touched her shoulders as he set her aside to move past her. “She can swear like a mule driver when she wants to, Mrs. Donahue.”

“I can kick just like a mule too,” she snapped, seething.

“Now, both of you—” Lacey began.

“Can
you?” Jesse interrupted, his hands suddenly on
Kiernan’s shoulders again. “Miss Mackay, I don’t suggest you try it with me.”

“Oh, and what
will
do, Jesse?”

“You don’t want to know, Kiernan.”

“Fine gentleman you are, Jesse.”

He grinned. “Ladies aren’t supposed to kick like mules, Kiernan.”

“And gentlemen don’t—” She broke off. She wanted to tell him that an honorable gentleman would never ever have stolen a kiss like the one he had just stolen.

“Gentlemen don’t what, Kiernan?”

“I’d move to safety, Jesse,” she warned him sweetly.

He laughed again. “Take care, Kiernan, with me. Test your powers on that charming almost-fiancé of yours, but not on me. Anything you start, Kiernan, I’ll finish.”

“Really!” Lacey implored. “If we could all just sit down and have breakfast—”

“Don’t dare
me
, Jesse.”

“I made griddle cakes!” Lacey wailed.

Jesse released Kiernan and turned to Lacey. He bent down to kiss her cheek. “I have a feeling I’m persona non grata at the moment, Mrs. Donahue. Thanks for the invitation. You be a good dear and keep yourself safe in the house, eh? I’ve got to go.”

“But Captain Cameron—”

“Behave, Kiernan,” he warned, suddenly very stern as he stared at her over Lacey’s head. “Please be careful. I’ll be outside town to meet the troops tonight. And I promise you, the streets are wild.”

“These people are my neighbors!” Lacey murmured.

“Yes, and I’m sure you’ll both be fine,” Jesse agreed. “But for my peace of mind, stay in, all right?”

He started out. Kiernan glanced at Lacey briefly, then went racing after him.

She still wanted to kick him, hard.

She called to him. “Captain!”

Startled by her use of his title, he swung and waited, a coal-dark brow inquisitively arched.

“Are you coming back, Jesse?”

He nodded. “I’ll come in with the troops, Kiernan.”

“Be careful, Jesse,” she warned him.

He grinned and took a step back toward her. She shrank away quickly. “Oh, no, Captain! Keep your distance. You don’t play fair.”

He shook his head suddenly. “No, Kiernan, you’re the one who doesn’t play fair.” He smiled, but she sensed that he was serious too.

“What do you mean?” she asked. She felt warm again, flushed, with subtle rivers of excitement running through her veins.

“Kiernan, you always wanted to make all the rules. That’s not fair.”

“Don’t they say that all’s fair in love and war?” she murmured. She didn’t want to make all the rules. She just wanted to keep her heart safe.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” he told her huskily. He touched her again, just her hands, meeting her eyes. “Love—and war.”

“I don’t understand.”

“And I can’t explain. But you take care, Kiernan. I’ll be back soon.”

He kissed her again, just brushing her lips with his own. And still she felt his touch like a sweep of staggering warmth.

She met the blaze of his cobalt-blue eyes just briefly, and then he was gone.

Three

During the long morning, Kiernan waited in the house. It was obvious that Jesse had appalled Lacey—but Lacey seemed equally upset that Kiernan had somehow driven him away when he had promised to stay for breakfast. “I felt so much safer with the captain in the house!” she said nervously, sitting at the breakfast table. There was still a great commotion in the streets. But the events now taking place were happening far down by the armory and firehouse, so they couldn’t see terribly much. They heard shots being fired, and still there were many shouts. The drama unfolding seemed to put an almost tangible tension in the air—Kiernan could feel it, even in the house.