Salvation and Secrets (3 page)

Chapter 3

~ANA~

"Rise and shine, chica. Today, we shop." Elena breezed into the room, no evidence of the Jell-O shots from the night before.

I pushed myself onto my elbows and glared at her, rubbing one hand over my sleepy eyes. "What time is it?"

"Time you were up. It's past ten."

Throwing back the comforter, I hopped out of bed.
Past ten
? I only ever slept that late before the accident or after a restless night of bad dreams and painful memories. But I couldn't remember any dreams.

"So the party wasn't that bad, huh?"

I shrugged, making my way into our small bathroom. It had been bearable until Jackson showed up. Then I spent the whole night watching him, jealousy burning through my veins every time a girl tried to talk to him. I was
that
girl now—the dejected ex watching from afar.

"Hurry up. I gotta pee." Elena's voice traveled through the gap in the door, and I finished brushing my teeth and stepped back into the room.

She rushed past me, mumbling something about Talia and the girls joining us. There went my good mood. I hadn't spoken to Talia since before the fight at Dead Man's Cove almost six months ago. She had never hidden her annoyance with me, but after I had revealed mine and Jackson's secret to the majority of the student population, she hardly came around. In her eyes, I had fraternized with the enemy.

Under Elena’s watchful eyes, I pulled on my dark jeans and an oversized hoodie. It was one of the few items to survive my ‘fresh start’ wardrobe. Danny had given it to me after our first date when I had gotten cold at the beach. I couldn’t bear to part with it. I had held it close to my body, crying ugly tears. I had worn it on my darkest days, wrapped in its memories. Feeling it drown my slim frame, I still felt that surge of sadness. But in a weird way, it comforted me, and I had a feeling I would need plenty of that to endure a shopping trip with Talia.

“Ready?” Elena couldn’t hide the look of disgust on her face as she took in my outfit choice, and I widened my eyes at her. “What? It’s comfy.”

“Chica, it might be comfy, but you look awful. At least wear your hair down?”

I ran a hand over my messy bun and smiled, seeing the hint of a smirk on Elena’s face. “Shit, you know I’m just messing with you. You’d look hot wearing a trashcan. Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Talia, Cassie, and Lydia were waiting for us just outside McGinley. Talia smiled at Elena but shot me a scowl. It was so quick no one else seemed to notice, but I saw it. Something sparked in me, and I straightened my shoulders, lifting my chin to her.

“At last. We’ve been out here ten minutes.”

“Ignore T, she’s like a bitch in heat again,” Cassie said, ignoring Talia’s stern glare.

We started the walk to the main parking lot. Talia was the only one of us with a car on campus and had agreed to drive us to the nearest mall. Although, I was beginning to think she had been coerced.

“So, how was your summer, Elena? Did you get to hang out with that hot boyfriend of yours?” Cassie asked.

Elena gushed, “Yeah, he came down for two whole weeks. Dios mio, he looks hot in clothes but in board shorts…” The girls had all laughed along with her before Talia spoke up. “What about you, Ana?” I glanced at her, my eyes narrowing, waiting for whatever was about to spill out of her mouth. “What did
you
do over the summer?”

I forced my lips into a fake smile. “Not much. I went back home.” There was no way I would rise to her bullshit. If she wanted to say something, she could say it, but I refused to be pulled into her drama.

“Did you and Jarrod do the whole road trip thing? I bet your dad freaked.” I could have kissed Lydia for breaking the intense stare down occurring between Talia and me.

“Yeah, we drove up to Cali but had to stop
a lot
, if you know what I mean. He couldn’t keep his hands off me. We even did it on the hood of his car.”

How classy of you,
I muttered to myself, but Talia’s head whipped up to mine, and I realized that I had said it louder than I thought.

“How are things with you and lover boy? Oh, my bad. He dumped you, right? That’s what you get for thinking you can tame a Fallen.” Talia held my glare, a smirk gracing her lips.

Elena caught our showdown and dropped back to hook her arm through mine, giving my hand a squeeze. “Ignore her. She's just jealous,” she whispered through closed lips.

~

I knew the whole thing was a bad idea. We had only been in the car five minutes when Talia announced that she didn't have time to drive us to Portland. So, here we were, shopping in Reibeckitt. I was ninety-nine percent sure that she had orchestrated the whole thing to make a point or just make me feel uncomfortable. Either way, she’d succeeded.

Not all that much bigger than Chastity Falls, Reibeckitt housed a handful of boutiques and independent stores that we spent the last hour roaming around. I bought nothing for myself but had to help Elena carry all of her bags. The girl had no limits. Talia seemed to know someone in every store we visited, and after watching her fake it up with someone for the third time, I almost gagged.

"Seriously, why did I agree to this?" I said to myself, but Elena overheard and shuffled closer. "Because you're a good friend and wanted to spend the day with me." Elena winked, and I couldn't help but smile.

She was right; I needed to make more of an effort. Sure, she had Tyson, but she always tried to include me in her own way. I owed her a lot.

"What do you say we find somewhere to recharge our batteries? Lunch?" I said, and Elena's eyes lit up at my suggestion.

"Did someone say lunch?" Cassie and Lydia joined us, as we continued watching Talia fawn over the shop attendant.

We all looked at one another and said in chorus, "Lunch."

Talia reluctantly agreed to show us somewhere to eat. I had to hand it to her, I never knew burgers, fries, and a shake could taste so good.

"I think I'm in food heaven," Lydia said through her mouthful of homemade burger.

"Told you; best diner in the whole damn town."

I nibbled at the remaining fries, scanning the small diner. It was full of kids, probably not all that younger than us. No one knew me here and yet that didn't stop the ball of nerves from bouncing around my stomach. Reibeckitt was Cole Calder's town, and he had hurt Jackson. The thought caused me to choke on a fry and I grabbed my soda, taking a big gulp trying to wash it down.

"Are you okay?" Elena asked, concerned at my coughing fit.

I nodded, just as the door opened and a new group of diners entered. They were older, maybe seniors in high school, and my hairs electrified.

"Well, well, if it isn't Jarrod's piece of hot ass." A lean guy with shaggy blond hair stepped forward, his eyes trained on Talia.

"Jealous, Smith?" Talia didn't even bother looking at the guy and carried on picking at her garden salad.

"Of a bitch like you? In your dreams. Never understood what Stark saw in you. Heard a rumor you got kicked to the curb by one of
them
and came running back to him."

Talia flinched but quickly composed herself. Slowly, she squared her shoulders and turned to face the guy and his friends. "What do you think Jarrod will say when he finds out his
baby
cousin was talking shit to his girlfriend?"

The guy's face paled, and he stuttered, "Fuck, T, you know I'm only messing." He glanced at the rest of us, his eyes lingering on me for a little longer. I dropped my head pretending to be busy but felt him watch me for a few seconds longer.

"See you around."

I didn't know why, but his words punched me straight in the stomach. He hadn't said see you around Talia, or even T, no, he had looked directly at me and said see you around. And it almost sounded like a threat.

Through my downcast eyes, I watched him stalk to the counter and order. I didn't recognize him at all. But he recognized me; I saw it flash in his eyes when they lingered on me.

Jackson walked away to protect me from Braiden, but I was beginning to wonder if the damage was already done. I'd fallen for Jackson Pierce… and became an enemy of his family. Did that make me an enemy of his enemies as well?

~

“Just remember you got this. No one gives a shit about last year; I bet they can’t even remember what went down at Dead Man’s Cove…”
Nice try, but I doubt that,
I thought to myself as Elena continued her pre-class pep talk.

After a weekend of staying dorm bound, I think she felt it was her duty to pull me out of the hole I had fallen into since seeing Jackson at the party.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve totally got this.” The fakeness in my voice didn’t convince either of us, and Elena pursed her lips, concern clouding her eyes. I offered a weak smile before entering the Pauling Building.

My eyes scanned the crowd of students for any sign of Jackson, but they didn’t find him. Instead, they landed on Briony, who was glaring right at me. The intensity in her eyes stopped me in my tracks. She looked wild; her red hair styled on top of her head in a ponytail with curls falling out all over the place and the kohl liner making her eyes look harsh. Braiden might have agreed to leave me alone, but from Briony’s expression, she was less than happy about it.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head and followed the signs for the class. A steady stream of students entered the room, and I filed in keeping my head down. The desks were arranged in clusters, and I found an empty seat on a half-filled table, recognizing a couple of people from my classes last year.

Students continued to shuffle in until there was only a couple of empty seats left, and with each seat occupied, I breathed a sigh of relief. When the professor cleared his throat to start the class, I finally relaxed into the chair.

“Welcome to poetry, I’m Professor Peterson. This semester we will be cover-”

The door flung open and a voice behind me said, “Sorry, professor. It won’t happen again.”

I pushed myself down into the seat, gripping the sides with my hands. Why? Why did this have to be happening? Surely, he could have taken a different class. And then I realized something even more horrifying. The only empty seat was at my cluster of desks.

My eyes fluttered shut and I started to panic, the anxiety clawing at my windpipe and causing my breath to come in short, shallow bursts. How could I sit opposite him for the next year and pretend nothing had happened? I couldn’t. I would have to be transferred out of the class, pronto. It hurt too damn much.

When I was away from him, I could try to hate him. Try to focus on the bad. But when my eyes found him, I could only remember the way his lips felt against mine. How safe and cherished I felt wrapped in his arms. My heart wouldn’t forget. And if it wouldn’t forget, I couldn’t be around him.

I just couldn’t.

The first half hour wasn't too bad. Professor Peterson had us watch a short YouTube clip on the projector, which meant Jackson turned his chair away from me. He wasn't actually sitting opposite me, but more to the side and one seat down. It was still one seat too close.

He didn't look in my direction once, and it was like a vise squeezing my heart. Had he really just moved on or was he only playing the part Braiden had insisted on to perfection?

Between surviving the accident, losing Danny, Mom, and Dad, and then Jackson bringing me back to life only to crush me, I didn't know anything anymore.

Over the summer, I got up each morning, plastered on my fake smile for the world, and carried on. To the outsider, I was just a quiet girl hiding behind her oversized hoodies and skinny jeans, but to anyone who looked close enough, I was a broken girl trying to hold it together every single minute of every single day.

It was exhausting.

The professor’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as the lights came back on, and people started scooting their chairs back to their desks. I watched Jackson because I couldn’t help it. A little voice in my head was screaming at me to look away, to look anywhere but at him, but my eyes had a mind all of their own. I couldn’t stop them even I tried.

Jackson hovered over his seat, dragging it back around to the desk, and then lowered himself into it. Just as he dropped down fully, he lifted his head and his eyes connected with mine. I wasn’t sure how long we sat like that, looking at the other, but neither of us made any attempt to look away. It had been almost four months since he’d looked at me. Almost five since he splintered my heart and rendered it irreparable, ripping open old scars in the process. I had imagined this moment over and over. Played it out in my head. The pain and hurt I would feel seeing him again. But I hadn’t anticipated one thing.