Sinful Resurrection (CSA Case Files 2) (22 page)

“It’s been a long day,” Jax said, running his hand up and down her back.  “Let’s circle around the other way and find some dive to hole up in until, say, two o’clock in the morning.  It’s better to make the trip back home at night.”

Crest nodded his agreement and then once again assigned Kevin and Ethan to tag along with them.  Connor and Crest would leave now, getting a jump on the drive and scouring the area for anything that seemed out of the ordinary.  Emily didn’t really care what route or what time everyone decided on; she just knew that it was over.  Let Ryland do his best.  She’d spent two years trying to prove the guilt of one man and going against three different agencies to make that happen.  She could handle whatever came next.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Emily eyes
were glued on the sliver of moonlight that had found the slit in the drapes of the hotel room.  It wasn’t a dive, as Jax had hinted upon when leaving the United Nations, and she was grateful.  She’d spent enough time in places like that and she wouldn’t mind never seeing one again.  For how exhausted she was, sleep just wouldn’t come and the events of the day kept replaying in her mind.

“It’s midnight,” Jax said, his chest rumbling underneath her hand.  “We leave in two hours and you haven’t slept.”

“For you to know that, that means you haven’t either,” Emily replied softly. 

“It’s going to be an adjustment for you.”  Jax kissed her forehead and she briefly closed her eyes, relishing his tenderness.  There was something so comforting about
that gentle act that it would never get old.  “Starting a new life, adjusting to a new name, and living in another city.  We’ll figure out a way to incorporate your aunt back into your life.  No one will be watching her that close, although she’ll have to come to you.”

She
had spoken to Aunt Beatrice the moment they’d gotten into the vehicle.  The older woman had still been in Paris and much to Emily’s amusement seemed to be enjoying her time with the man that was watching over her.  After a much longer conversation than what was originally planned, Jax had finally spoken to Roger Dallen and made arrangements for them to stay in France a while longer.  Emily knew then that he was being cautious until they were certain Ryland would no longer be a problem.

“We
haven’t really discussed my…living arrangements.” Emily traced figure eights on his chest, liking how his warmth soaked into her fingertips.  He spoke as if it were a forgone conclusion she would join him in Minneapolis, but was that what he really wanted?  “We just keep moving forward, not really examining the reasons why.”

“Do we need to examine them?” Jax asked
, his voice a tad bit cautious.  “Emily, we’ve had a lot of things thrown our way.  We need time to digest the fact that both of our lives are going to change.  Hell, we need time to come to terms with the fact that we can now live a normal life.  But the fact remains, Ryland is still out there and until we can permanently dismiss him as a threat, can we just take things day by day?”

She
instantly understood what he was really saying, although to call him out on it would only put further distance between them.  He was afraid that she and the baby would be torn from him as his parents had.  He’d said as much.  Emily knew that fear was valid, but she refused to bend to it.  He was clear in his need for honesty from her and by damn he’d get it.

“What I’m going to say is something you need to hear,” Emily said softly, sitting up and untangling herself from his arms.  The covers slipped from her upper body, revealing
her breasts and there was enough moonlight to see the shift of his eyes.  She waited patiently until they traveled back up to meet with hers.  “I don’t want a reply.  I don’t want to discuss it.  I just want it known.”

“Emily
—”

“Regardless of my being pregnant, what I feel for you is real.” 
Jax shifted into a sitting position against the headboard and reached for her.  Emily pulled slightly away, needing to finish what she was saying.  "If Ryland were to walk through that door right now and finish what he’s been paid to do, I would want to die knowing that there wasn’t one thing you didn’t know about me.  So here it is.  My favorite color is pink.  I don’t have a preferred flower or song…I love them all.  My favorite food is Aunt Beatrice’s fried chicken.  The best movie ever made is the
Wizard of Oz
, the old one.  My most desired place to be is kneeling at your feet and wondering what you could possibly do to make the scene better than the one before.  My biggest fear changed from not seeing you again to being afraid that I won’t get the chance to grow old with you.  I love you, Jax Christensen.”

  
With those final words, Emily removed herself from the bed with one last look at Jax’s surprised face and lightly padded her feet across the carpet and into the bathroom.  Quietly closing the door, she then flipped on the light and squinted when the brightness lit up the small room.  Waiting until her pupils adjusted to the harshness, Emily then looked at herself in the mirror.  Relief was evident in her own blue eyes and for the first time in her life, there were no more secrets. 

Unfortunately, she couldn’t say the same for the threat on her life.
  Until Ryland was eliminated, they were all in danger.  Emily placed a hand on her stomach and swore that her greatest fear would not come true. 

* * * *

Jax watched the highway in front of him as the headlights cut through the dark.  Emily’s words resonated through his head and seemed to be on permanent repeat.  As her words haunted him, he glanced over to where she lay sleeping, astounded that she seemed so at peace.  Did she really not know the turmoil she’d placed him in?

Before he’d been able to react to everything Emily had said, she’d turned on the shower in th
e bathroom, leaving him lying in bed and trying to digest her words.  She made it sound so simple, yet he knew it wasn’t.  Weren’t they just tempting fate by saying those three words?  It was as if they were taunting fate with those types of declarations and he’d be damned if he was ready to face that bitch again.

Reaching for the knob off to the right of the steering wheel,
Jax adjusted the heat so that Emily would stay warm.  She’d fallen asleep within the first half hour on the road, her body overtaking her obviously busy mind.  Thinking of how sincerely she’d declared her love was awe-inspiring and her point of being honest hit home, as well as her fear.  It was understandable that she would want to express her feelings.

Jax wasn’t saying he didn’
t feel the same, but was grateful that Emily hadn’t pushed him.  What he really wanted to do was alleviate her fear that Ryland would come back for her, but he couldn’t do that unless he was given proof.  Until then he would see to it that she felt safe, regardless that it was obvious she could take care of herself.  Emily had training and knew what to do in a crisis, but they all knew that Ryland wouldn’t confront her one on one.  He’d most likely take the shot from a mile away.  That wasn’t comforting to know, but he needed to figure out a way to protect her without smothering her.  That wouldn’t go over well.

Schultz had given them her meager belongings
and two years pay at a GS-14 equivalent plus per-diem.  The check was from a temp agency based in DC.  Her physical possessions all fit into one suitcase.  All of it was now in the back of the SUV, along with the backpack she’d been carrying this entire time.  He’d open up about his feelings when Emily was finally situated at his place, Ryland a thing of their past, and they’d settled into a new routine.  He didn’t consider himself a superstitious man, but damn if he was going to tempt fate now.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

One month later, Emily was standing in Jax’s bathroom using a warm washcloth to wipe her mouth.  She was finally feeling somewhat normal this morning after her bout of morning sickness.  It had to be a man who came up with that term, for a woman would have been more upfront.  It didn’t matter what time of the day it was, if a smell or a taste didn’t settle well with J.J., then whatever was in her stomach was coming up.  Morning, noon, or night.  Jax Jr. was very particular about his wants and desires…similar to his daddy.

“If you aren’t a boy, I’ll eat —”

Before Emily could finish that sentence, the doorbell rang.  She looked towards the bathroom door and then down at her gray sweats and white T-shirt that she’d taken to wearing lately.  Shrugging in defeat, she knew that Jax had someone watching the house, which meant they recognized whoever was ringing the door.  Emily didn’t kid herself that Ryland would be gentleman enough to knock before shooting her.  This waiting would kill her first, she was sure.

Relieved
that she was feeling better, Emily tossed the cloth in the sink and then walked through the bedroom and down the stairs to the front door.  Knowing that she could never be too cautious, she had picked up her piece before heading downstairs.  She carefully looked through the peephole that Jax had installed the day after they’d arrived.  Lauren Bailey stood on the other side with her auburn hair blowing in the spring wind.  Switching the lock on the deadbolt, Emily opened the door with a smile.  

“Hi,” Emily said in greeting
, grateful for the interruption.  “Come on in.”

“Sweats?  Again?”  Lauren shook her head, but made up for her words by holding out a red slushy from the gas station on the corner.  “You look like you need this.”

“You are a lifesaver,” Emily crooned, taking the drink with her free hand and immediately sipping the cherry flavored ice.  Connor Ortega had done well when he’d chosen Lauren.  She was a keeper.  “Hmmmm.  How can I repay you?”

“By getting dressed.”  Lauren stepped inside and then closed the door behind her.  “You cannot stay cooped up in here day in and day out.
  You’ve been given a new identity, Nora Emily Rowland.  We might as well use one of her credit cards.”

“Jax hasn’t handled this morning si
ckness thing so well,” Emily replied with a shrug, grateful that it wasn’t really a lie.  She was relatively sure that was part of it, but she was also certain it had to do with more.  She took her slushy and her gun with her as she headed for the living room.  The old style Victorian house had been renovated into a duplex.  Jax lived on one side and Connor lived on the other.  Emily knew why she still considered it Jax’s place and not theirs, but now wasn’t the time to dwell on it.  She focused on the conversation at hand.  “Add on top of that we haven’t located Ryland, he’s more comfortable if I stay inside.”

“And how’s that going for you?” Lauren asked with a small laugh.  She followed Emily into the living
room and sat down next to her on the couch.  Emily placed her weapon on the side table.  “I didn’t take you for following orders so easily.”

“Depends on the order.”  Emily winked and smiled, but her lips didn’t lift too far.  Lauren was right and each day seemed to put more distance between her and Jax.
She didn’t have to wonder if it was her declaration of love that had put it there. She wanted what they had back at the cabin.  The only thing that kept her from going insane was her newfound friendship with Lauren.  “I do appreciate your friendship, Lauren.  I missed out on a lot these past two years and having a friend to share things with is one of them.”

“I was getting surr
ounded by too much testosterone anyway, so the added estrogen is a nice change.”  Lauren tucked one of her red curls behind her ear and studied Emily with those emerald green eyes of hers.  “Have you spoken to him?”

“He’s been coming home late.”  Emily fiddled with the straw
, knowing what she just said was an excuse.  She just didn’t want to admit out loud that she was afraid of rocking what seemed to be an already unstable boat.  “You should know that.  You’re practically living with Connor now.”

“
Speaking of which, we’re thinking of having just one place,” Lauren replied, nodding her agreement.  “It would be easier and more cost efficient.  But that’s just my analytical mind at work.  I like it here.  It’s a lot more peaceful than my apartment in the city, but there is this one neighbor I would worry about if I moved out.”

“You’re in the city almost every day,” Emily pointed out, knowing that Laur
en had a physical shop in which she sold bejeweled fetish implements.  “You could check on your neighbor a few times a week.”

“True.”  Lauren took a sip of her coffee that she’d brought inside with her.  “Which is partly why I’m here.  Want to come to the shop with me today?  We both still have tails on us, courtesy of our men, so there’s no reason not to
pool together our resources.  And it will get you out of the house.  If you want, we can even hit one of the salons and check to see if they have some type of hair dye that wouldn’t hurt the baby.  I know you want to go back to your natural color.”

Emily
looked back down at what she was wearing.  Even on those days when she had been on the run, hiding out from those that wanted to hurt her, she had never stooped to this level of not caring what she looked like.  Whether it was the aftermath of what she’d gone through, the pregnancy, or Jax treating her more like a roommate, she didn’t know.  An idea started to form and suddenly, Emily knew what she needed to do.  She just needed Lauren on board for this to be successful.

“Afterwards, will you take me to Jax and Connor’s club?”

* * * *

Jax leaned back in his chair, twirling his skullcap around on a finger.  He stared at the computer screen in front of him, trying to decipher the message that Taryn had sent him.  It was a bunch of columns with mixed dates and times for what apparently was Ryland’s whereabouts during the last ten years.  Some didn’t appear to be possible, but Taryn was slowly weeding them out and looking for some sort of pattern that might lead them to him.

“Isn’t it time to retire that thing?” Kevin said, nodding toward the skullcap and leaning against Jax’s cubicle.  “The end of April is here and I’m pretty damn sure the weather is too warm for that shit.”

“
Did you see this?” Jax asked, ignoring Kevin’s remark.  He nodded towards his computer screen.  “If Taryn’s right, then Ryland hits New York once a year around Christmas time.  How was she able to pinpoint this when he’s technically what we’d consider a ghost?”

“Because I’m good,” Taryn quipped, her voice carrying over the cubicles. 
God only knew where she was to have overheard them.  By the time they’d made it back from New York, Taryn had taken up the conference room as her office.  No one was upset, since there was a table situated right outside the cubicle area they could use to convene around.  For how much equipment she’d acquired lately, it was for the better.  “I’ll show you how good once I decrypt his various aliases, although I’m sure he changes them like a politician’s promise.”

“Speaking of Ryland, the guys and I are getting a little worried about you,” Kevin said, keeping his voice low.  Jax tensed, already having heard this speech from Connor not three days prior. 
“You’ve been coming in at the crack of dawn and not leaving until well after eight at night.  You’ve been working on the weekends and Elle has been basically running the club on her own.”

“I’ve been checking in with her.”  Jax tossed his skullcap on the desk and leaned forward, wanting to end this conversation before it continued
to the minefield he knew was being laid.  “As for Emily, she needs her rest and me being at the house just doesn’t help.”

“Interesting you would say that,” Connor said, brushing past Kevin’s large frame and sitting in his seat, letting it roll him around.  Jax refused to turn around and face his partner.  He had work to do and didn’t want to mollify whatever point they were trying to make.  “Emily’
s not at home.”

That had Jax spinning his chair
around and leveling his best friend a disbelieving look.  Of course Emily was home.  He would have gotten a —

Son of a bitch. 
His cell vibrated against the laminate of the desk.  Jax quickly reached for it and scanned the message that stated Emily and Lauren had left his residence and were heading into downtown.  What the hell did she think she was doing?  He had no doubt this was Emily’s idea, for Lauren tended to listen to Connor for the most part.  Well, at least when she wasn’t being stubborn about something.

“Didn’t you tell Lauren that she was to just go to her shop and then home, without any stops in between?” Jax asked, reassuring himself that was the case.  “Di
d you speak with her personally and ask what the hell they think they are doing?”

“I told you three days ago that if you didn’t do something to change the way things are between you and Emily, that I would have to stoop to your level,” Connor stated matter-of-factly.  Jax gritted his teeth,
not having time for this petty retribution.  “Lauren is having Emily tag along with her for the day.  There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry about?” Jax stared at Connor, trying to comprehend the words coming out of his smart assed mouth.  “Is this the same man who drove to the hospital when Lauren was mugged and then spent the night with her, only to have her followed the majority of the
last case to ensure her safety?”

“I’m not saying I don’t understand where you’re coming from,” Connor
replied, sharing a look with Kevin that Jax didn’t even want to contemplate the meaning of.  “But I didn’t tell her that she was under house arrest either.”

“Let’s face it, Jax, we don’t know if we’ll ever apprehend Ryland,” Kevin said, crossing his arms.  “You’ve got to at least allow Emily to have a normal routine.  The last time I was over at your place, she even mentioned that she would love to teach
.  Let her go apply for jobs and see where that takes her.”

Jax leaned back in his chair, placed an elbow on the arm and ran a hand down his face.  They just didn’t get it, did they?  He rested his head on his index finger and thumb, wishing he were any place but here.  He contemplated getting up and heading into Crest’s office, for he
would rather deal with him than this fucking group.

“Lauren, well, she said that Emily’s been feeling…you know, lonely.”  Connor interlaced his fingers behind his head and leaned back in his chair as if he hadn’t just a
nnounced that Jax and Emily hadn’t been having sex.  “For how much you used to play at the club, I don’t see why you —”

“For fuck’s sake, she’s sick almost every hour,” Jax snapped, sitting up a l
ittle straighter in his chair and ignoring the small ping that called him out as a liar. He hated being a hypocrite.  This is what his teammates had reduced him to. “We went to the doctor’s office and everything looks good and apparently this amount of sickness is normal, but do you really think she feels up to — I can’t believe we’re even having this discussion.”

Jax spun around and escaped from the document that he’d had up on his computer.  He could look at it later.  He’d head down to the first floor and grab a bite to eat in the sports bar.  By the time he got back, maybe these assholes would have cleared out for whatever assignments Crest had them working on.

“Did Emily say she didn’t want to have sex?” Jessie quipped, coming to stand next to Kevin.

“Fuck me,” Jax murmured, continuing to power down his computer.  “Jessie, go back up front.  Doesn’t Crest have you working on something
mind numbing?”

“Hey, I’m just trying to help here.”  Jessie’s bubbly personality was the polar opposite of the team.  Norma
lly, on a good day Jax appreciated the upbeat and fresh attitude that she brought to the table, but today wasn’t one of those days.  “My sister said throughout the majority of her pregnancy she couldn’t get enough sex.  When they throw up, that’s pretty much it.  They go right back to feeling normal.  Really, you should talk to her more about it, unless that’s not the reason you’re not having sex with her.”

“I’m not discussing this,” Jax
snapped, spinning back around and facing all of them.  To make his point, he continued, “Connor, that implement that Lauren liked, did you ever —”

“I get it,” Connor said with his hands up in the air, indicating his surrender. 
There was a major different between watching some scenes at the club and discussing one’s personal sex life.  It demeaned it and it wasn’t what they stood for.  “I do.  But we all know it’s not about sex.  We’re just worried because it seems that now that you finally got what you wanted, you’re going to throw it away by being a douchebag.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jax asked, his temper ready to boil over.  Standing, he let the steam out.  “You and I both know where we’ve been and the shit we’ve seen.  I can handle it with the best of them.  When it’s my shot that takes someone out, I take responsibility for that and know that eventually I
will come face to face with my Maker and have to own up.  That I can live with.  But every time I hear her over the toilet, it’s like my heart is ripping out of my chest.  Do you know what it does to my insides to know that it’s my fault she’s in this position?  And that’s not to mention this day-to-day routine shit that I don’t know how to handle.  I have no fucking control and that’s the one thing I’ve depended on my whole life.  And just like that, it’s ripped from my fingers.”