Sometimes Brooke (The ALWAYS SOMETIMES NEVER Rock Star Romance Series Book 2) (14 page)

Thirteen

Brooke

“You haven’t really kissed me since the accident,” I tell Leo as he helps me into bed. “I miss it.”

There are a lot of things I miss. Not just his mouth. His hands. His skin on mine.

Even though we’ve been sleeping in the same bed it seems like Leo is afraid to really touch me. It’s like he thinks he’ll hurt me. 

“I’ve kissed you,” he insists.

“I mean a real kiss. Not a peck. A kiss with passion and fire.”

When he laughs I get a little of that familiar tingling sensation back again.

“That would be like giving a guy one lick of an ice cream cone, but then telling him he can’t have the rest of it. That’s very dangerous territory, especially when the guy’s starving because he hasn’t had his favorite ice cream in long time.”

“Or any ice cream, I hope…”

He frowns. “You know there’s only one flavor of ice cream for me. And I can’t wait to have it again. When it’s ready.”

Leo quickly undresses and gets into bed with me. He grabs my hand and laces our finger together.

For what seems like several minutes Leo is quiet. Too quiet. There’s no way he’s asleep already. When I glance over at him he looks like he’s deep in thought.

“What’s on your mind?” I ask.

“Nothing,” he says more quickly than I expect.

Of course I don’t believe him. “Tell me.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not important.”

Now he’s got my curiosity piqued. I know one way to get him to tell me, even if it’s a bit devious. “You’re planning on leaving me. Go ahead and say it.” My tone is exaggerated so he gets the idea that I’m goading him.

He turns on his side so he’s facing me. “Don’t say that, okay?”

“Okay.” I’m surprised his expression has turned so serious.

As he rubs my knuckles with his thumb he says, “I’m never going to leave you. If anyone does any leaving it’ll be you.”

“And why would I do that?” I ask.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

I shake my head. “Not really.”

“Stop using birth control,” he whispers. At least I think that’s what he says. It’s such a crazy thing for him to say, I’m not 100 percent sure.

“What?” The question pops out of my mouth before I have a chance to stop it.

“Stop using birth control,” he repeats a little louder. “That’s what I was thinking. You said you wanted to know what was on my mind.”

“Why in the world would you even think that?” I’m so shocked I’m not sure what else to say.

“Forget it.”

When I look deep into his dark eyes I can see he’s completely serious. “I’m not going to forget it. You said it and I want to know why?”

He swallows before he says, “So you won’t leave me.” His voice is so quiet it’s almost difficult to hear him.

“It’s not the 1950s. I can raise a baby on my own. Getting pregnant isn’t a guarantee that I won’t leave you. And do you really want to trap me into staying with you? You should want me to be with you because I make a choice every day to be with you.”

He nods, but he won’t look at me again, so I have a feeling I’ve hurt his feelings. I never met a guy so sensitive in my life. He tries to cover it with humor and by being a clown, but he really feels things very deeply. There really are so many ways in which he’s like a five-year-old in a grown man’s body. When I was a kid I was like a 45-year-old in a five-year-old’s body, so maybe that makes us even in some weird way.

“Forget I said it,” he says finally.

“No, I won’t. I can’t. It’s not like I don’t want to have a kid sometime in the future. And maybe I’ve even thought about having a kid with you. But not right now. Like years from now, when I’ve finally got my shit together. Can’t we just enjoy the here and now while we’re here right now?”

He nods, but I can tell he’s not convinced.

“Neither one of us even has our own place to live. We’re basically homeless. We can’t have a kid while we’re still living with Harper and Rayne.”

When I glance over at Leo he looks deep in thought. That makes me extremely nervous. “What’s on your mind?” I probe.

He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Nothing you need to worry about.” He grins. “Is that better?”

“Not really,” I tell him. He’s been all in for a while. It sounds like he wants me to go all in as well.

Maybe it’s time to put on my big girl panties and give him what he wants.

Me.

Because it’s pretty obvious I’m not going to get rid of him no matter how hard I try.

“Would you hold me for a while?” I ask.

His eyes completely light up. “Really?”

I nod.

“I don’t want to hurt you…”

“It’ll be fine,” I assure him. “We can spoon.”

He gives me a huge grin. “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

As soon as I turn so my back is facing him he snuggles up behind me and holds me in his arms. “Are you sure this is okay?”

More than okay
, I want to tell him, but I simply nod instead.

Fourteen

Leo

I clear my throat to get Harper’s attention. She looks busy, but this might be my only chance to talk with her while Brooke is taking a nap.

“What’s up, Leo?” Harper asks.

“Can I come in?”

She glances at a huge pile of papers next to her, but says, “Sure” anyway.

“I won’t take too much of your time,” I tell her.

“It’s okay.” She points to a chair next to her desk. “Have a seat.”

We stare at each other for a few seconds before I speak. “How do you get a house?”

She frowns. “What do you mean?”

“How do you buy a house? Is there like a store or something where you can go and pick one out?”

She laughs. “No, it really doesn’t work like that.” Then she narrows her gaze at me. “Do you want to buy a house?”

I shrug. I’m not ready to admit that I want to get a place for me and my Wild Child. I kind of want to surprise her and I know if I just buy it she can’t try to talk me out of it.

“Most people work with a real estate agent. But before you hire one, you have to have some idea of how much you want to spend on the house and the area in which you’re interested in purchasing it.”

“How much do they cost?”

“It depends on what kind of house you want. Some houses like this one are very expensive, millions of dollars, while others are a few hundred thousand. How much do you have to spend?”

“I’m not sure,” I admit.

“The real estate agent will want to know if you have enough in the bank for a down payment.”

“How much is that?”

“Twenty percent is a good estimate.”

“Can I just pay for the whole thing outright?” I ask.

“If you have enough in the bank.”

I nod. “I’ve got a lot. Always Rayne has made a lot and I haven’t spent it.”

Her eyes go wide. “You haven’t spent any of it?”

“I bought Brooke a watch. That’s about it. I don’t look at the bank statements they email to me. Mainly because I don’t really check my email. But I’ve got a few million.”

She chokes. “A few million?”

“We’re a popular band.”

“You could buy your house without getting a mortgage. You just need to decide how much you want to spend. Here…” She turns back to her computer and pulls up a website. “Take a look at this. This website lists houses that are for sale.” She types for a few seconds. “I narrowed the search to the area around here: Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Fountain Hills.”

We both look at the screen. She pulls up some big ass houses. “I don’t think we need anything that big.”

“I’ll narrow the search a bit more.” She does more typing. The girl’s got some fast fingers. Not that I’m the best judge of typing skills. I can’t do more than hunt and peck.

The houses she pulls up this time are a little smaller, but still nice. A hell of a lot nicer than the house I grew up in, that’s for sure.

“These homes are a little more modest,” she says. “And reasonably priced for the area.”

“How far are they from your house?”

She points to a small map in the corner of the screen. “You can see the little flags here. It shows you their locations. Most are within ten miles.”

“So how do I get one of those real estate agents? Is it like getting a talent agent? Do I have to audition or something?”

She grins. “It’s a different kind of agent. You just need to phone and set up an appointment. Why don’t you ask Nic who he used?”

“Nah,” I shake my head. “I don’t want to bother him with it. He’s got enough on his plate right now with the new album and replacing me for the charity tour.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind…”

“He wouldn’t mind doing something for you. He loves you. I’m a different story.”

Harper frowns. “Nic loves you too. You’re his cousin. You’re family. He would do anything for you.”

“I don’t know. This whole thing with Darrow is dicey. We’ve never had a substitute for one of the members of Always Rayne before.”

“Nic understands why you can’t do the charity tour. And I know Brooke appreciates it even if she won’t admit it. She might act tough, but I know she doesn’t really want to be alone. Especially while she’s recovering.”

“There’s no way I’d ever leave her. I’d quit the band entirely before I’d do that.”

Harper’s eyes go wide. “You would?”

“Hell, yes. And I wouldn’t even think twice about it.”

“But you love Always Rayne…”

“I love Brooke more.”

We both look at each other. Harper looks as surprised as I do. I can’t believe the words came out of my mouth.

I love Brooke.

“Don’t tell her I said that.”

“I think you need to tell her.”

I gulp. That’s a really big deal. The biggest.

“Let me deal with this house thing first,” I tell her.

“There are some real estate agents listed on this website. Do you want me to write down the names and numbers?”

I nod. “Thanks.”

Fifteen

Brooke

“How’s the rehab going?” Harper asks as she enters my bedroom.

“You mean the torture?” I reply as I get up from the exercise ball. I’ve been forcing myself to do all of the exercises my physical therapist recommended because I really want to get back to normal as quickly as possible. Well, as normal as I can be anyway.

“You seem to be getting around better.”

“I’m still walking like someone who’s a hundred years old and just pooped her pants.”

“It’s better than not walking at all,” she offers.

“Harper and her silver lining for every shitty cloud. I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“We’re packing up and getting ready to leave for the charity concerts.”

I heave a sigh. “I still feel guilty about Leo not going because of me. It’s not right…”

She places a hand on my shoulder and to my surprise I don’t flinch. Maybe I’m getting used to people really caring about me, even if I’m still not sure if I deserve it. “Leo cares about you. He wants to be there for you. Let him do that.”

“But the band is his life,” I protest.

I can see in her eyes she’s holding something back. “Tell me what’s going on,” I urge.

“Even though you’re both too stubborn to admit it I know the two of you love each other.”

“And that’s the problem isn’t it?”

She laughs. “Why is that a problem?”

“How are two broken and damaged people like us supposed to make a relationship work?”

When she rolls her eyes at me I’m actually a little insulted.

“I’m being serious.”

Her eyes soften. “I know you are. But what you don’t seem to realize it that everyone is broken and damaged in some way. It’s one of the hazards of being human.”

“You and Nic aren’t. You’re both perfect.”

She scrunches up her little nose. “Far from it. We deal with issues like everyone else. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. You just have to do the best with what you’ve got. And you, Brooke Rhodes, have got Leo. You can try to push him away all you want, but he’s not going anywhere.”

I grin. “I guess I am stuck with him.”

“For the long haul.”

***

I find Leo in the guesthouse studio with the guys and Raven. It’s a frenzy of packing various pieces of equipment and instruments.

As soon as Leo spots me his eyes go wide and he practically leaps over to me. “Where’s your walker?”

“I decided to start moving around without it.”

“You should be using your cane then.” His voice actually sounds panicked.

“I’m fine,” I insist.

“You’re not fine. You just started moving around without it. You should have called me so I could walk with you. To make sure you don’t fall.”

“It took some effort, but I made it here.”

He kisses my cheek. “Don’t even think you’re walking back without me.”

“It looks like you’re busy helping the guys.”

He shakes his head. “They’ve got Darrow to help. You need me more than they do.”

“Did someone say my name?” Darrow gives me a huge, fake grin. The guy’s teeth are so white I practically need sunglasses when he opens his mouth. “How’s it going, lovely lady?”

I don’t want to be rude, but the guy gives me the creeps. There’s no doubt he’s good looking in a politician sort of way. If he ever ran for office he would easily win on looks alone. The guys said he’s from a very wealthy family and that he graduated from Julliard. He definitely looks like a spoiled rich guy who’s always had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

Leo is shooting daggers at him with his eyes. “She’s fine.”

Completely ignoring Leo, Darrow has his full attention on my body. Even impaired he’s looking me up and down like a hungry lion. It makes me want to vomit.

“I heard you’re a Friend of Bill W.”

Leo’s eyes turn to angry slits. “Where’d you hear that?”

“I told him.” Raven sidles up to Darrow and snakes her arm under his.

Leo and I glance at each other. Clearly we’re both wondering the same thing:
what in the world is going on between them
.

Then I turn my attention to Raven. Glaring at her I state, “I’m in recovery.”

“Pretty ironic that you got hit by a drunk driver.” She glares right back at me.

“Karma I guess.”

Darrow gives a phony laugh. Everything about the guy is completely manufactured. I’m having a hard time believing that Raven is falling for his pretenses.

But when I look into her eyes I see something there that I’ve never seen before.

Fear.

When has Raven ever been afraid of anything? Is she afraid of this creep Darrow? Then why is she with him?

Something about the scene doesn’t make sense.

When I scan the room to find Xander I see him watching Raven and Darrow like a hawk. And he looks pale, almost like he’s sick to his stomach.

What in the world is going on?

When Nic joins us he looks oblivious to the tense undercurrent. It doesn’t surprise me. He’s got a lot more on his mind than some kind of love triangle between Raven, Darrow and Xander. He’s trying to lead an entertainment empire.

“If you need anything, Brooke, just give us a call, okay?” Nic says.

“You mean give Harper a call,” I joke.

I guess he’s not in a joking mood because he doesn’t even crack a smile. “Give us a call,” he repeats.

When Nic is in one of his serious moods I should know better than to cross him.

“Okay,” I mutter. “Thanks.”

He pats Leo on the shoulder. “With this guy taking care of you I know you’ll be in good hands.”

“I know the shows will be great,” Leo says.

“I’m sure we’ll get by,” Nic says. “But it won’t be the same without you.”

When I glance over at Darrow he looks pissed. His mouth is set in an angry line and his face has turned to stone. What he doesn’t seem to realize is that Leo, Nic and Xander are family. And they always will be. He’s an outsider and a temporary replacement.

When Xander approaches he stands on the other side of Nic about as far away from Raven and Darrow as he can get. This might be the first time since I met the guys that Xander and Raven haven’t been all over each other.

“Are you getting tired?” Leo asks me. “Without your walker or cane?”

“A little,” I admit. Even though I’ve been exercising I still feel like I’m just learning to walk again. It is tiring, and I’m sure being out of shape when the accident happened didn’t help.

“I’ll help you back into the main house. We can sit down for a while.”

I nod. As sure as I am that Leo is concerned about me, I also sense that he wants to let the guys leave without a lot of emotion.

Xander and Nic both give Leo a quick hug, but I notice Raven doesn’t. Which I find odd until I see that Darrow has a firm grip on her. It’s almost like he doesn’t want her to touch Leo.

“I guess I’ll see you when you get back,” Leo tells the guys.

Nic and Xander both nod, but Raven looks pained. Something is definitely going on and it’s not right.

“I can walk back to the house,” I tell Leo, who seems to want to carry me back.

“I’m here if you need me,” he replies anxiously.

“I know. You’re always there for me.”

“And I always will be,” he adds.

His declaration tugs on my heartstrings. Harper was the only person I ever felt like I could count on. Now having Leo in my corner makes me feel like a very lucky woman.

“What’s with the guy, Darrow?” I ask. “Is Raven with him now?”

“Fuck if I know what’s going on with those two. The only thing I’m worried about is you.”

“I’m worried about Raven.”

“You’re worried about Raven?” He laughs. “That’s a first.”

“She doesn’t look right. I think something’s definitely wrong.”

“They need to deal with that shit,” Leo says. “The only thing I care about right now is making sure my Wild Child is put back together again.”