Stepbrother Forever: A Stepbrother Romance (8 page)

Chapter 13

When I wake up and leave
my room, I notice Ryan isn't there. I assume he’s out for a run. I make some
breakfast, do a quick workout, shower, and get dressed. I’m working the early
shift at the bar today and have to leave soon. I get ready to walk out the door
and decide to jot Ryan a note: “Please let me know if you hear back from
casting—good luck!” I place it on the table where I know he’ll see it and leave
for work.

Lunch
is busy and lasts late enough to roll right into the early part of Happy Hour.
I see Ken come in and pour his beer before he even sits down.

“That’s
what I’m talking about,” Ken says as he settles onto the bar stool, “a woman
who knows what I like without even asking.”

“You
never change, Ken. You make it pretty easy,” I reply with a smile. He lets me
know what he wants for dinner tonight and I go put his order in.

I help
the other customers that are coming in and everyone seems pleasant enough. It’s
just busy enough that I can serve them and exchange some banter or ask how
their day was which always makes them feel comfortable sitting with me at the
bar. The evening is steady, and I’m feeling pretty good when I see Ryan walk
in. I wasn’t expecting him and he’s alone, so I wonder if he’s here with some
news or just to blow off some steam while he waits to hear back.

“What’s
up?” I ask when he sits down. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,
I’m good,” Ryan answers blandly.

I
frown. “Okay then, what can I get for you?” He doesn’t seem like himself.

“How
about a glass of champagne—make it two,” he says, his face brightening and a
huge smile forming.

“Champagne…?
Oh, my God! You got the part!” I squeal, causing everyone at the bar to look at
me.

“I got
the motherfucking part,” Ryan replies proudly.

“Holy
shit! Oh, my God!” I say again. “I can’t believe it. I mean, I
can
believe it, but I can’t believe it.”
I go to the fridge and take out a bottle of Perrier Joulet, which is my
favorite, but too expensive for me to be drinking normally. I pour Ryan a glass
and a half-filled glass for myself. I’m not supposed to drink behind the bar,
but this is one hell of a special occasion. I hand Ryan the champagne flute and
hold my own up.

“To my
almost-famous stepbrother. I wish you all the best. Don’t forget the little
people,” I toast. We clink our glasses and take a drink. I notice Ken looking
at me wondering what’s up.

“Ken,
this is my friend, Ryan Macrae. Remember that name, because you’re going to be
hearing it a lot.”

“Nice
to meet you, Ryan. Looks like you have your first official fan,” Ken says. Ryan
raises his glass to Ken, looks at me, and finishes off his drink.

Ryan
briefs me on what Sarah said, but he wants to go and call everyone else and
tell them he got the part. He wanted to tell me in person. He hasn’t even
called our parents yet. He said he’ll tell me the rest later when we’re all
together, because he is taking everyone out tonight to celebrate.

I’m
thankful I have less than a couple of hours left on my shift. This is the most
exciting news I’ve heard, and it’s not even mine. I’m so happy for Ryan—this is
the break all of us are wishing for. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime.

I
almost run out of the bar to get home. Ryan is there with Tony and two of his
other friends I’ve met before. They all say hello, and I see by the empty beers
on the table they’ve already started celebrating.

“Hurry
up and get ready girl,” Tony says before I put my things down. “We’ve been
waiting for you.”

“Keep
it in your pants, Tony,” I reply. “I could have met you out.”

“Ryan
made us wait, or we would have,” Tony answers.

“You’re
so fucking sweet, Tony. You sure know how to make a woman feel special.” I roll
my eyes. “Just give me a few to shower and change.”

I leave
the room to pick out an outfit and bring it into the bathroom with me. No way
I’m walking through here in a robe with these idiots around.

I
quickly shower and dress and put on some makeup. I finish fairly fast and
emerge from the bathroom to get my shoes on. I hear a whistle from one of the
boys.

“Damn,
girl. Maybe you and I should just stay here tonight,” Tony says.

“Not in
your wildest dreams,” I reply with a laugh.

I grab
a pair of heels from my closet and join the boys in the living room. “So where
are we going?”

“We’re
meeting at The Dive,” Ryan responds.

“Cool,”
I reply, grabbing my coat. “What are we waiting for? Let’s go.”

We
leave the building and walk to the bar. The rest of our crew and a couple of
random other friends are already gathered there. They cheer and hoot when they
see Ryan walk in. I’m walking behind him and notice him blush. He is
immediately surrounded and met with hugs and fist pumps and lots of love from
his friends, who know exactly how much this part will mean to his career. The
drinks start flowing and we collectively hit the dance floor. We are in full
party mode now.

The
mood lasts through the night. We stay out until the wee hours of the morning
for last call. I have a little buzz, but after my drunken stupor from our first
celebration, I’m taking it easy. We all live fairly close to each other, so we
walk home as a group, which dwindles down every time someone reaches their
door. One of Ryan’s friends, Adam, is staying on our couch tonight because he’s
the only one who doesn't live here and it’s too late to catch a train. The
three of us turn down our block, leaving the last few to make their way home.
Tara, Keira, and Jen live together, so they all go to the same place, anyway.

Ryan,
Adam, and I make it up to the third floor safely, and the boys sit at the
kitchen table when we get inside. I pour myself a glass of water and offer one
to each of them, which they accept.

“Can
you grab me another beer while you’re up?” Ryan asks.

I make
a face at him. “Seriously?”

“Hell
yeah. I’m not going to be able to drink like this for a long time,” he replies.

“You’re
going to be shooting a movie, not going to jail,” I respond, pulling a two
beers out of the fridge. I hand one to him and one to Adam.

“I have
to be on good behavior. It’s part of the deal,” Ryan explains, and then takes a
long swig from the bottle.

“When
are you leaving?” Adam asks.

“Monday,”
Ryan answers, taking another sip.

“Monday?”
Adam and I repeat together.

“This
coming Monday?” I ask in disbelief.

“Yup,”
Ryan replies. “They want to get a bunch of screen tests and some other things
done before we begin filming.” I’m sure he knows more, but seems to be having
trouble recalling the technical info in his drunken state.

“When
will you be back?” Adam asks. He’s sounds much cooler than I am right now. I’m
panicking.

“They
estimate four to five months to shoot the film, and then another four to five
to edit and promote before it’s released,” Ryan advises us.

“So
you’ll be gone for…” I start but Ryan finishes for me.

“Almost
a year. But don’t worry, I will pay my share of the rent until you find a
roommate or the lease is up.” That is the least of my concerns right now. He
has no idea how my whole world is being turned upside down by all this news
today.

“Of
course, I won’t be shooting and promoting the entire time,” Ryan adds, “so I
can come and visit...” I think he can sense my apprehension about him leaving,
even though he doesn’t all his wits about him.

“That’s
so awesome, man,” Adam says, shaking his head. “I’ll come visit you and you can
introduce me to some hot celebrities.”

Great.
Ryan’s new life will be filled with movie stars and models and all sorts of
women who will want a piece of him.

“I hate
to end this, guys, but I’m shot. I’m going to bed,” I announce. I can’t talk
about this anymore. I don’t want to take away from Ryan’s happiness at all. As
happy as I am for him, I also don’t want to lose him. Now that I know that, I
can’t even tell him. This is the chance of a lifetime, and I don’t want to
throw a wrench into that by professing my love. Not that he would give it up to
stay with me, but I don’t need him to leave with that confession lingering
between us.

I
fucked up. I should have been honest with Ryan and kissed him when he dared me
to that night. I guess it wouldn’t have changed things in the long run—it
actually may have made things worse. But now I am bound to silence.

Chapter 14

I wake up in an awful
mood. It’s hard to imagine we have less than a week together here. As I amble
into the kitchen, I glance at our little Christmas tree. Ryan won’t be here to
celebrate. That tree will just remain a reminder of the happiness we won’t be
sharing here anymore. There’s always a chance he will come back, but if
everything goes well with this movie, he will have more offers pouring in. It’s
what every actor dreams of.

Ryan is
still sleeping; I hear him snoring. He and Adam were up until well into the
morning. I’m pretty sure Adam left and took a rush hour train home instead of
trying to sleep on our couch, because he’s gone. I can’t shake this feeling of
despair, but for now I will have to bottle it up with the rest of my emotions
until Ryan is gone. I don’t want him to see me like this. I need him to know I
support him. I can be sad
after
he
leaves.

I
decide to put on my headphones and work out. I need a distraction from my own
thoughts. I work off some of my anger, at least, and make a quick breakfast. I
have to work tonight, but I have the morning and early afternoon free. I feel
like I should get Ryan a gift of some sort, but I don’t really know what.

I
shower, dress, and leave before he wakes up. Maybe something in one of the
little boutiques will catch my eye.

I roam
around the neighborhood popping in and out of shops to look around and to warm
up. I don’t know what to get or why I’m out. I should be spending whatever time
I can with Ryan. He doesn’t have much time left here, though, so he will
probably have a lot to do—that is, once he wakes up. I think I’m in shock that
he is leaving. Everything is going to change—
everything.

I
should have just kissed him. I should have given us a chance together. At least
we would have tried to make this work, even if it would have been a short time.
Now I will never know. I was so afraid to lose him, and now I am losing him
anyway. I hope I can get used to life without Ryan.

I leave
the boutique I’ve been wasting time in. I don’t know what to give him. I needed
the kind of gift that says says, “I think I love you, but the world fucked up
and made me your stepsister, and I fucked up and pushed you away.”

Sadly,
I couldn’t find that on a coffee mug…

I give
up and head back to the apartment. I see Ryan walking out as I near the
building and walk faster. He sees me coming and slows down until we meet.

“Hey,
Eve,” he greets me. Even with a raging hangover, he looks incredible.

“Hey.”
I smile and try to sound cheerful. “Where you headed?”

“Just
going to AGR for a fun afternoon of paperwork,” he replies.

“Oh.
Sounds like fun.”

“I have
to get going,” he says. “I got a bit of a late start, and it took me a while to
get out of bed. Are you working tonight?”

“Yup.
Maybe I’ll see you later?”

“Probably.
I have to start getting my things together.”

I try
not to visibly flinch. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll see you later, then,” I say, holding
back tears. I don’t know how I’m going to keep it together for the next few
days.

 
“Later sis,” Ryan replies and walks off
in the opposite direction.

I walk
into the building and up the flights of stairs. I start thinking about living
here alone. I don’t want a new roommate. The reason I chose to ask Ryan to move
in with me was because he made me feel safe. Ryan has always been my “go-to”
guy for everything. What was I going to do without him?

I have
to focus on how amazing this is for Ryan instead of how awful it is for me. I
need to be there for him, like a good sister would… Like I know he would be
there for me. I walk through the quiet apartment and glance again at the
Christmas tree. I guess when we were buying and decorating it, somewhere in the
back of my head I imagined us making a tradition of it. I don’t think there
will ever again be a Christmas that won’t remind me of this one.

I
continue on to my room to change and get ready for a long night behind the bar.
I have no desire to go to work, or anywhere, for that matter. I’m supposed to
work all weekend, but I have to see what I can do to change that. I should
spend whatever time I can with Ryan, even though it hurts.

I put
on my coat and leave for my shift the bar. I talk myself into my role for the
night—happy bartender. I’ve done it before, and I will do it again tonight,
even though I’m dying inside.

The
night drags on, and I find myself checking the time way too often. None of my
regulars are here, which is good. I can pretend to be happy for strangers, but
doing it for people who actually care is more difficult. It’s easy to get lost
in a role when no one realizes you’re playing one.

I have
everything cleaned and ready to close before last call and I offer to leave
first. I usually don’t mind staying, so everyone else seems fine with it. I
leave a note for my manager that I have a “situation” and would like tomorrow
and Saturday night off, or at least one of them. Of course, it’s our busiest
nights of the week, so it will depend on who can cover me. There is no way I’m
coming in—I need to be with Ryan.

I make
it home in record time. I’m looking forward to spending a little time with Ryan
if he’s not already asleep. As I unlock the door, I hear voices; Ryan must have
company. I’m a little upset, although I have no right to be. He is leaving, and
I’m sure he wants to see his friends. I don’t want to share, but I don’t have a
choice. He’s not mine, and even if he was, I wouldn’t deprive him of seeing his
buddies. I put on a smile as I open the door.

“Hey!
It’s Eve. Welcome home, woman,” Ryan greets me.

“What’s
happening, hot stuff?” Tony says.

They
sound like they’ve been drinking. This should be entertaining, at least.

“You
guys sound like you’re having a good time,” I reply with a smirk. They are
sitting at the kitchen table with several beer bottles in front of them.

“Always,”
Ryan answers. “We’re just reminiscing a little. Tony doesn’t think I’m ever
coming back to New York.”

Tony
snorts. “Hell, no. With all the Hollywood pussy this guy is gonna get? He’s
never looking back.”

Yup.
This is entertaining. Maybe spending the night reminiscing with the boys is not
where I need to be. I’m not sure how long I can fake this happy mood, if this
is how the conversation is going to go.

“Maybe
I’ll let you boys hang out. I’m pretty tired, anyway,” I say, walking into the
kitchen for a glass of water.

“No
way,” Ryan protests. “I only have a few days left. There’s no time for
sleeping. Have a seat.” He kicks a chair out from under the table for me to sit
in and pushes a beer my way.

“I
don’t know. This sounds like guy talk,” I hesitantly reply, not wanting to
intrude, or more importantly, hear about all the starlets Ryan is going to
bang.

“Come
on. Sit down, woman,” Ryan jokes, smiling up at me.

“You’re
just like one of the guys, Eve,” Tony replies.

I arch
a brow. “Really, Tony?”

“You
know, minus the stellar tits and ass,” he answers.

“You
are high-class, Tony,” I say with a smile. I know he doesn’t mean to be so
crass all the time. It’s just who he is. He can't help it.

I give
in and sit down. I’m happy to spend some time with Ryan, and even Tony, since I
don’t know how often he’ll be coming around once Ryan leaves. I just have to
suck it up and put on a smile. As happy as I am now, in this moment, every time
I think about what is to come, tears start to well in my eyes again.

Ryan
fills me in on everything that went on today. There are definitely some details
missing, but I’m sure the alcohol is to blame for that. He starts talking about
how much he loves New York and his new life in the city. He shyly admits his
fear of leaving here and being so far from his friends.

“I love
you guys,” Ryan says. I know it’s not my imagination that he looks me right in
the eyes when he says it.

“We
love you too, bro,” Tony replies.

“What
about you? Do you love me? Are you gonna miss me?” Ryan fires questions at me.
It’s like Tony isn’t in the room. Drunk people are always so honest and open.
They make it hard for the sober people in the room.

“Of
course I love you,” I say, trying to sound friendly. “And of course I’m going
to miss you, Ryan. Who else would climb three flights of stairs to live in a
shoebox with me?”

“One
day, after I make this movie, we’re going to have a big place and you will
never have to walk up all those stairs again,” Ryan assures me.

“Pretty
sure if you’re making that kind of cash, you’re not going to need a roommate
anymore,” Tony interrupts. “No offense, Eve,” he quickly adds.

I’m
reeling over what he just said. Is Ryan planning on coming back for me? Does he
think we’re going to have a future together? Why did he wait until now to tell
me all of this? I’m not sure if he even knows what he’s saying—he’s pretty
wasted. He probably won’t remember any of it anyway.

“Hopefully,
I
will
be making that kind of cash,” Ryan replies. “What if the movie sucks,
or it gets shitty reviews? I’ll be stuck doing late-night infomercials or
laughed out of Hollywood with tail between my legs.”

“Dude.
You’re going to be in a movie,” Tony says. “A
movie.
Who cares what
people say? You get paid, you get pussy, and shit will happen. No doubt.”

“I
actually agree with Tony,” I chime in. “Not only are you in a movie, but you
have a huge role. This could be big, Ryan. It
is
big.” I’m thankful for
the subject change, but my mind is still focused on Ryan’s statement about
buying
us
a big house. Why would he say something like that?

“That’s
what she said,” Tony says, and we all laugh.

The
subject changes again, and I actually have more fun than I thought I would. My
mood is better since I got home. Maybe I just need to be around Ryan until he
leaves—it seems to ease a lot of my heartache. When we’re not together, I just
think about him not being here and it makes me sad.

We’ve
been talking for so long that it’s well into the middle of the night. I guess
this is how things will be for the next few days until Ryan goes. I’m
exhausted, so I say goodnight and walk to my room. I don’t know how long the
boys stay up, but I have no trouble falling right to sleep.