Stricken Desire (22 page)

“Yes you do.” He rests his head on top of
mine that’s still resting on his shoulder.

“So what else ya reeling about?”

“I got a few emails that I can’t stop
thinking about.”

“And?” I press. I can tell he’s reluctant to
talk about it. But I’m also too nosey to back down.

“I got an email from my second ex-wife.
Apparently Kyle mailed something to her address thinking I still
live there and she just wanted to let me know and tell me she is
forwarding it to me here. Not sure how she knows I’m here unless
she called the office.”

“Kyle is sending you something? Like
what?”

“I have no idea. That’s what worries me. That
last time I spoke to him was four years ago. She didn’t say it was
a package or a note. I have no idea. If it has his contact info I
think I will get a hold of him and apologize like you said. I’ve
been thinking about it and I feel horrible how I left things.”

“Good.” I kiss his shoulder. “You’re a great
person Stace.”

The screaming just got louder.

“The woman out there have got to stop. If
they want these guys to be ready to rock tomorrow night they
better.” I say irritated.

The bus door opens and James appears at the
top of the steps.

“Hey” he waves at us, surprised. “I was
coming to wake you Stace. The crowd is getting bad. There are about
five hundred people out there pushing on that fence and as the dawn
hour approaches it’s getting worse. We are either going to have to
go to a hotel or call the police to come and offer some back up to
tame the crowd. I have a feeling in the next hour they are going to
push through and try to get into the bus.” James says his eyes look
sleepy. I don’t think he slept much tonight.

Stacy stands up “Where’s Jimmy?” he asks
James

“He didn’t make it back in yesterday. His
flight was canceled. Texas had a huge storm and all planes were
grounded. He should be here by tonight though.”

“And I am finding out about this now? Why
wasn’t I informed last night?” Stace scolds. He’s in mega work
mode. Kicking ass and taking names. He’s superhot in his element.
Best friend kind of hot. Not I want to screw his brains out kind.
Now that’s gross.

“I’m just finding out myself. I got a call
two hours ago when you were sleeping. I didn’t know he wasn’t
already in. I figured he was out doing runs. Office calls me and
tells me his plane is canceled and now we are stuck with one less
man.“ James cuts in.

“Okay, you call the local P.D tell them we
need four cruisers to hold off the mob. I’ll wake Brian up and tell
him to start the bus and we will get out of here in the next hour,
two max. I’ll call and book us into a hotel with high security. We
have to get this under wraps now. Or it might get ugly.” Stacy
barks off orders in his serious voice. I think he might be
scared.

“Why is this going on now?” I chime in
confused as to why we’ve been on tour for weeks and we never had a
major mob problem.

“It happens from time to time. Mainly when we
get extra press that wakes the fans. Plus D.C is the only place we
are playing two shows at the whole tour and the only place on this
coast. We didn’t book New York because I couldn’t get us a decent
venue with good security. All the ones I needed were booked solid
on the dates I needed. So we have people traveling to DC from all
over the coast. Not sure why it makes them crazier but it’s
happened before. Plus we are in a huge city and close to a bunch of
other huge cities. So for those fans who didn’t get lucky enough to
get tickets within the first five minutes they were posted for sale
they come in to try and get a glimpse and prove they are the bands
number one fan. It’s sick but it’s how it works when you’re the
number one band in the world right now.” Stacy answers.

“All forty thousand tickets were sold in five
minutes?” I am amazed.

“Yeah, except like fifty we get to keep for
special people or handouts.”

“How much are the tickets for a venue like
this?” I ask realizing I am taking up to much of him important time
and James already left.

“We have four kinds at this venue. So
nosebleed are $175 then next step down are $250. The floor is $375
and the VIP which we only have three hundred cost $525. If you want
a backstage pass you have to be a VIP and pay an extra $250 to meet
the band and we only offer fifty of those.”

I think my brain just fell out of my head and
is rolling across the ground. I can’t believe people actually pay
that kind of money to see these guys. That’s nuts. And here I am
living in a bus with them, breathing the same air, using the same
bathroom and shower and sitting on the same couch. How fucking cool
is that?

“Sorry I guess I didn’t think people were
crazy enough to pay that kind of money. Is there anything I can do
to help?”

“Yeah call a hotel and I need to hire some
more bodyguards for the next three days we are here.” He says.

I grab his laptop and call around to three
different hotels. The Marriot is the only one in the area to offer
us the best accommodations on such short notice with the extra
security needed. I book four rooms for three nights the only rooms
they had available. All two bedroom suits. Stacy and I can share
one and the guys will have to bunk up.

It’s six thirty by the time I finish up and I
am exhausted. I pad over to the fridge grab a bottle of water and
go into my clothes drawer fish under all my clothes for my prenatal
vitamins, open the bottle, pour one out and shoot it back with a
big swig of water. They are large, pink and taste like chalk. I am
also on a fish oil supplement for brain development but I take that
with dinner. I can’t do it in the morning or the fish oil taste
makes me nauseous.

Stacy comes up the stairs. He left shortly
after giving me the orders to for hotel.

“We’re books for the Marriot they said they
can take us now.” I say before he has a chance to talk.

“Okay great, Brian’s up and is already to go.
The cops have corralled the five hundred person mob outside the
fence so I think we’re all set to roll.”

I lounge against the back of the couch. I
can’t go back to sleep now. I’m exhausted getting only four hours
of sleep last night. I was up way too late in my cave reading
another pregnancy book on my e-reader and switching off to read
Lover At Last
the latest book by one of my favorite authors.
The bus is now rolling and Stacy is in the shower. I don’t know how
he does it. I’m certain part of my issue is the fact that I am
pregnant and craving coffee so bad. I can’t drink it anymore. I’ve
had a cup every day for the past six years and I’ve forced myself
to go cold turkey off the stuff. Stuck sipping warm decaf green tea
infused with peach. It’s not the same on any level and I find
myself crankier in the mornings because I can’t have the one
staple, the one constant in my life, Coffee. I’m just thankful that
no one on this bus drinks it besides me. Most of them are protein
shake junkies or milk. I know Johnathan loves chocolate milk. I’ve
seen him drink it straight from the jug a hand full of times. It’s
kind of sexy to watch. Not that I care or anything.

The bus pulls into the back of the hotel.

“Hey babe why aren’t you sleeping?” I hear
Stacy ask coming out of the bathroom rubbing a towel in his
beautiful dirty blonde hair.

“We’re here at the hotel and I couldn’t fall
back to sleep if I wanted. Should we wake the men or let them get
up on their own? Do you think the mob will find us here?”

“Yes, they probably will. I’m sure there are
some here already. Remember, good news travels fast. And yeah I
suppose we should wake the men.” He says tossing the towel in the
hamper in the bathroom.

“Do you want me to help? I know they can be a
pain sometimes.”

He turns and looks at Johnathan’s closed
bedroom door. I instantly get the hint.

“Ok I’ll wake him you get the rest of the
guys.” I wave to the bunks.

“You don’t have to babe, I just know the last
time I woke him this early he nearly killed me. I’m sure he’d be a
little nicer to a woman.”

I nod “It’s okay.” And get up off the couch
in my Pj’s and pad my way to Johnathan’s door. I don’t even bother
to knock I just walk right in.

Shit! What is he doing? I find him sprawled
out over the bed thrashing his head back and forth sweat pouring
down his face, he’s mumbling something obscene under his breath and
kicking his legs forcefully at some invisible threat. He’s
defiantly in some serious nightmare. I so didn’t sign up for this.
Poor guy! My heart is breaking for him. What do I do? I have to
wake him. I’ve never woken anyone from a nightmare except Stacy.
His were nothing like that. He just yelled in his sleep there was
never any violence or body movements involved.

I walk over to the edge of the bed his body
is thrashing and it’s getting worse. I want to cry for him. I climb
on the side furthest from him. Crawling over the bed he thrashes
and he nearly kicks me. Close call! Too close.

“Johnathan.” I whisper moving closer to his
face. “Johnathan wake up your having a nightmare.” I’m afraid if I
touch him. I might get hit. If I wasn’t pregnant I probably
wouldn’t care but the last thing I need to do is lose these babies
because of his nightmares.

“You son of a bitch. Don’t you fucking touch
me. No! Why did you do that to her. No. You killed her. No. No. No.
I want my mommy. Why? Daddy. Why?” he mumbles through clinched
teeth his head thrashing back and forth on his sweat soaked
pillow.

I get in closer pushing my way towards the
top of the bed. So his legs can’t reach me.

“Johnathan.” I push his shoulder gently.
“Johnathan you’re having a nightmare. Get up.” I say louder this
time. Still nothing.

“Johnathan!” I screech and push his
shoulder.

His eyes fly open and he darts out of bed
frantic and falls onto the floor in front of the door with a giant
thud.

“Emily! Are you okay!” Stacy screams from
outside the door trying to get in. He’s panicked.

“I’m fine Stace. Just leave us be.” I say
calmly as to not worry him.

“Okay. You better be. I’ll be inside with the
guys. James will be out here waiting if you need anything.” He says
from the other side of the door.

“Great. Thanks.”

Johnathan is sitting on the floor rocking
back and forth in a giant man ball his eyes are wide and he looks
terrified.

“Johnathan are you okay?” I ask calmly and
gently scooting closer to the edge of the bed. He keeps rocking his
eyes widen further.

“Johnathan it’s me Emily. You know? Emily
Bronwyn your friend?” I slide off the edge of the bed a few feet
from him on the floor. I take it nice and slow. This giant man is
terrified and his breathing is loud.

“Johnathan. It’s me. I promise no one is
going to hurt you here. It’s just you and me and everything is
going to be alright.” I soothe, inching my way closer. He doesn’t
say a thing and is breathing even faster now. His eyes are now
closed. Shit! Please don’t say he’s fallen back to sleep. This
nightmare might continue on from there. He doesn’t need that. Oh,
this poor beautiful frightened man.

“Johnathan I am going to come over and hug
you okay. Don’t be scared. No one is going to hurt you. I will
never let anyone hurt you again. It’s Emily. Just please don’t hit
me.” I ease in closer.

I have no idea what the hell you say in these
kinds of situations I have no training in this. I feel terrible for
him and my stomach is all in knots. Not for myself but because I
just realized what Stacy was saying about Johnathan going through a
lot of shit in his life and that’s why he is the way he is. And the
whole thing about the fact he doesn’t know how to love. Something
happened to him and it was bad. I don’t know what. But by the
terror on his face and his body language I can’t help but want to
help bring him out of this. My heart is breaking just watching this
man like this.

I sit up on my knees and he’s body is still
rocking. He’s hyperventilating. Sweat is pouring off his face. His
arms are clasped around his legs in the fetal position.

“I’m here.” I place my hand on his back
gently. I am going to hug him from the side.

“It’s going to be okay.” I talk slowly and
softly. I place my other arm over his so I am touching his chest
and I inch my way in closer so my breasts are resting against the
top of his left arm.

“Calm down Johnathan. Calm down. It’s going
to be okay.” I soothe, wrapping my arms tighter around him. I press
my lips to his temple. One of my hands are holding onto his right
side from the back and my left his down across his chest cupping
the bottom of his ribs on his other side.

“Take a deep breath big man. It’s going to be
okay.” I say softly my mouth on his temple. He finally responds and
takes in a deep breath.

“That’s good. Now take another one and let it
out slowly.”

He does.

“Emily?” he huffs in a whisper.

Oh thank you Jesus he’s back! My heart is
pounding. I brought him back! Thank god! He’s going to be alright.
I was so scared.

“Yes, it’s me. You were having a bad dream
when I came in to wake you.” I say, my lips still at his temple.
Now I’m breathing hard. I guess I didn’t realize I was as freaked
out as I was. His hand unclasps from his leg and rubs it on the arm
I have wrapped around his chest.

“Is it really you?”

“Yes, Johnathan. I’m here I promise I won’t
let anything happen to you. You’re safe.” I kiss his sweaty temple.
His hand runs up and down my arm. Sparks fly and my heart soars.
His touch is amazing. Why do I have to feel this way about him?
Shit! Now my heartaches with deep loss. I resist the urge to rub my
heart because I don’t want to let him go. I don’t think it’s right
yet. He’s still coming out of this nightmare.