The Bastard Son (Winds of Change Book 2) (27 page)

But all was in vain. He placed the pistol in his mouth and fired. Katy froze. Her eyes never left her father as he fell over the banister, splattering onto the marble floor in front of her. He lay at her feet, his face distorted and bloody. She screamed.

On a crisp winter’s afternoon, Jane stepped off the
Fairweather
. Shivering, she pulled her cloak tighter about her. Her hand lay on her enlarged stomach. The babe moved, but her mind lay on Caleb. Where had he escaped to now?

The voyage had been difficult, not because of her health which had greatly improved, but between the constant worry that Caleb would jump over the railing, and Katy’s disposition. Jane glanced around. She didn’t know where Katy had gone to either.

Colonel Leckie asked Jane to keep an eye on Katy as best she could. Worry lived in his eyes. Jane had concluded with good reason. Not that Jane had known her well, but Katy’s manner had altered from the carefree girl she had first met to one who had the look of carrying the weight of the world.

“I wish I could go with her. She won’t admit how much this is upsetting her. Then with Randa at the funeral going at her like she did!” Colonel Leckie’s heart achingly relayed. “Blaming Katy for everything. Peyton’s death, her hardship, the loss of their fortune. Their father! How I wish I had never tried—”

“You were motivated by your heart. It will take time for her to heal,” Jane said. “She will feel better away from everything that reminds her of her father’s death.”

Jane assured the colonel that it had been the right decision to remove Katy from Charles Town. But Jane had begun to see she was wrong…ever so wrong.

At first, Katy had been polite, if reserved on board the ship. That was until Jane attended the first captain’s dinner. Jane had been confined to her bed for the first part of the journey. She learned quickly she wasn’t much of a sailor and didn’t come out of her cabin until her queasiness had eased.

The dinner passed pleasantly enough, but it was Katy’s behavior that had become worrisome. Katy was engaged in an intimate conversation with one of General Durham’s men, a Captain Thomas Elliott. Her eyes danced as she sat in conversation with the man, who seemed intent upon her as well.

Worried about Caleb and Katy, Jane didn’t hear footsteps behind her.

“I’m afraid we have arrived a few days earlier than was thought and there is a storm brewing. It doesn’t leave a good first impression of my country.”

Startled, Jane glanced over her shoulder. General Durham stood beside her.

“I will see to reserving accommodations at an inn I know is respectable.”

“Thank you,” Jane said coolly. Her head hurt. Of all the people to have to rely on in the world!
Oh, Sumner, what have you done to me?

She had remained aloof toward the general during the voyage. Her forgiving nature couldn’t overcome his presence. Jane sighed. “I hate to ask, General, but I seem to have lost everyone that I have traveled with…Caleb, Anna, Katy.”

“I took the liberty of entertaining the young man. I had a few of my men walk him over to one of his Majesty’s vessels I saw upon our arrival. It is my hope we don’t hear a cannon firing in a moment,” he said in an attempt at slight humor. “But I’m certain he will be well looked after. Your nanny is seeing to your trunks,” he said simply. “Come. I instructed every one of my intentions.”

“I’m certain I can—”

“And I’m as certain you would try, but it will be much simpler if you allow me to do so. I have sent a note off to your sister-in-law at her husband’s estate in Cornwall. It is relatively close if she is there. If she is at her father-in-law’s it will take longer. I don’t suspect she is expecting your arrival since I included your husband’s letters with my note.”

“I don’t want to press upon you, General. I appreciate your attention, but you have family of your own, and I’m sure you are anxious to go to them. If the inn is acceptable, I’m certain I can manage—”

“Again, Mrs. Meador,” General Durham cut into her train of thought, “please let me—”

Jane frowned. “General, can’t you understand?” she asked bluntly. The entire of the voyage she had given him a semblance of politeness, but her nerves were on edge. “Sumner told me that you had your reasons for your actions. He seems to believe you are a man of your word…one to hold to honor. But I’m afraid I can’t get over the incident as easily.”

“I have tried to apologize, repeatedly I believe. I don’t expect your forgiveness, but please let me see that you are safely at your destination.”

Jane turned her gaze from him. She asked lightly, “Have you seen Katy?”

He hesitated. “Why don’t I take you over in the carriage now to—”

His arm went to her elbow, but she jerked it back.

“No,” she said emphatically. “Do you know where she is? I promised Colonel Leckie…” She paused when she saw the expression on his face.

“Tell me where she is,” Jane demanded. She didn’t need to ask with whom.

“I believe she has already departed the ship. She informed me she has decided to go to her brother-in-law’s,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “I assume she will see you at the inn. She asked me to deliver this note to you. She hopes—”

“I have to retrieve her,” Jane said under her breath. She turned hurriedly, too hurriedly. The deck, slick from the wet and cold, caused her to slip. General Durham caught her.

“God damn it, Hannah! Can you not think and take care of yourself,” he uttered, displaying a bad temper that had built with frustration. Quickly, his manner altered. “Again, I have to apologize. I have to plead that I feel responsible for your delicate condition and only want you to take care of your health.”

Jane’s hands rested on his arms. She stared at him. Who had he called her? Hannah. Who was that? Did it matter? She eased his hands off of her and backed away.

“I will go to this inn that you have taken the time to arrange for me. I suppose I have run Katy off with my constant…” She paused. She was rambling on.

Jane reprimanded herself greatly. She had been at Katy on every turn, reminding her of how Colonel Leckie loved her, wanted only for her to be safe, how much Jane was indebted to her always for her actions. Her eyes welled up. She had driven Katy off with her good intentions.

“I wouldn’t take blame, Jane.” He called her by her given name which took her by surprise. “We all have to deal with our own actions and their consequences in our own manner. You have been a good friend to her and have not let Colonel Leckie down. He wanted her within England as your husband wanted you safe. He didn’t care if she was with your sister-in-law or his family. She has chosen her husband’s family.”

“I wanted only—”

“For everyone to have the marriage you have. One in which you share a love. Don’t blush. You proclaimed it beautifully in court. It is seen within you. I can only speak for myself that I find myself envying Sumner to be able to have what he loves so dearly.” He stopped. He looked down for a moment and then back at her with a small smile. “Come. You will catch a cold if I don’t get you within the warmth soon.”

Jane relented and accepted his arm, more because she didn’t want to slip again. She was tired and wanted nothing more than to regain her legs. Then, she had to worry about Caleb.

* * * *

Watching from her window, Jane noted the weather had thankfully turned to rain. It was not often that Jane had seen snow.

She sat back. Where had Caleb gone to now? Poor Anna, Caleb’s nanny, had tried her best to keep him underfoot. She had done an excellent job of looking after the young man. At least now they had docked, there was no more worry about him falling overboard.

Her heart warmed upon the deliverance of a note from Mount Glynn. Cathryn was at the estate with her entire family. Moreover, she sounded overjoyed that Jane had arrived.

Dearest Sister,

I hope you don’t mind I call you such for that is what I feel you are. I am so happy! As soon as the weather breaks, I will be upon you to bring you into my home, which I want more than anything for you to feel is yours also. My eyes teared upon the news of your marriage. And you have brought Caleb! I haven’t seen him since he was an infant. His cousins are anxious to see him. Welcome, Jane Meador, wife of my dearest brother. I will see you soon. Your loving sister,

Lady Cathryn Pennington

The drawing room had been quiet. There were few travelers because of the weather, but General Durham hadn’t left her. She was grateful, but she would never have admitted the truth to him. Katy had departed long before the snow began.

Jane had tried to talk her into coming with her. It had done no good.

My dear Jane, you will be so engrossed with the baby and your family. You don’t need me to be there. I need to do this. Please
, Katy said, her mind already made up.
Believe me, I will be fine. Trust me. I will come and visit, I promise. I can’t wait until the time you get to hold your baby. More than anything, I want that. That will make me happy
.

I want
— Jane began.

I know
, Katy said simply. She leaned over and hugged her.
I will visit. I promise.

Katy left Jane sitting where she sat now upon the sofa. She couldn’t hear Caleb. That was never a good sign, but then down the corridor, she heard little feet pounding.

He peered into the room and rushed inside. He hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. The force pushed her back slightly, but she laughed.

“Ssh, Mother,” he said. In an attempt, Jane supposed, to be quiet. “I’m hiding. Don’t let anyone know of my hiding place.”

He glanced around the room for a spot to hide, but as he did so, General Durham eased into the doorway. The general placed his finger over his lips, but Caleb followed Jane’s eyes. He screamed with delight.

“I have to go, Mother,” he uttered, scooting off the sofa. “I can’t get caught.”

His little legs ran out the side door. A laugh escaped Jane. She hadn’t expected such activity from the general, who slumped down into the seat by the fire. He breathed out deeply.

“I will take only a few minutes to rest,” he said. “He is relentless.”

“You have been good with him. Thank you,” she said sincerely. “I don’t know what I would have done.”

“I have told you there is no need,” the general said, straightening his posture. “I have enjoyed him. I have a son. Unfortunately, I have been away for much of his childhood.”

“Then it’s important you go and see him,” Jane said. “I’m certain he looks upon you as Caleb looks upon his father.”

He chuckled. “I do look forward to seeing both. I have a daughter also.”

“And your wife,” Jane added. She regretted it the moment she uttered the words. She meant nothing other than being polite, but the look on his face altered slightly.

“Of course, my wife,” he said and nodded. His hands hit the arms of the chair. “I am confident that your family will be here promptly. The weather has broken. I need to prepare myself as you have suggested.”

He stood. Jane hesitated for a moment. She had thought about it much since he had uttered the name. Why, she didn’t know, but she needed to ask.

“Do you hate her so much? Is that why you treated me so?”

The general turned slowly. His eyes darkened. His reserve reemerged. “I don’t understand what you are asking.”

“You called me Hannah upon the deck. I have contemplated it since for it struck me as odd,” she stated simply. “Do I remind you of this person? Is that why you treated me in the manner you did?”

“I have tried to explain my actions. Your husband—”

Jane shook her head. “It is no answer, General. I felt your abhorrence toward me almost the moment we met. No matter your words of denial.” Her intention couldn’t be diverted. “I want only to understand. Did she leave you? Or did she die? You seem to be the sort to expect your wishes to come before all else, even death.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about. Now, if you will excuse me.”

“I suppose I didn’t expect an answer. I wanted only a reason to help me understand,” she retorted. “But one thing, did it help? To strike out at me in the manner you did. Did it help ease your pain?”

Curtly, he said, “You don’t know anything—”

“No,” she retorted. “But I know about pain. I know what it is like to lose someone you love. I know how hard the pain is within you in trying to accept a situation in which you don’t have control. My world collapsed around me; if not for Sumner, I don’t know what I would have done.”

Jane continued to study him thoughtfully. Her gaze prodded the general to defend himself. “I don’t question what you endured, Mrs. Meador,” he said, returning to her formal name. “But in some circumstances, you have no knowledge. Your moral fiber can’t comprehend beyond love and marriage. That one follows the other.” He paused for a moment. His eyes lay intent on hers. He uttered, “Neither could she.”

“I’m sorry, General.”

“Sorry?” He gripped tight the back of the chair he had sat in. His eyes became distant as reliving a moment in the past. “Rules, morals, all worked against me. I fought them for the one thing I wanted more than life itself. The one thing I will never have. You ask me if I was angry?” He turned back to her. “I still am.”

“What of her?” Jane’s voice carried low, smoothly throughout the room. “Did you look upon her interest first above your own? Is that why you hold within you the frustration that you could have changed all?”