The Beckoning of Broken Things (The Beckoning Series) (20 page)

My body is churning
, and yes, it’s like I’ve never experienced sex before in my life. This is the hallelujah I’ve wanted my whole life. This is that missing piece I sought as a shy teen. This is the communion I’ve longed for. This is the mother lode of experiences. I throw back my head and laugh. “Oh, yes, Rafe, oh God, yes.”

He props himself up on his arms
, and he’s wordless above me, his face appearing in rapt innocence, pleasure evident in his smile. He pumps his hips and drives into me. “I hoped it would be like this,” he pants. “I didn’t know it would be this good. I love you, Marissa.” He lowers against me, wraps his arms around me, and guides me on top.

I can’t repeat the words back to him, even though I know them to be true. Just thinking them makes me twist in conflict.
Is this the right thing? Am I betraying my…
A wash of pleasure assures me that it is indeed the right thing, blowing my bad girl thoughts from my brain like a hurricane.

Rafe’s hands cup my breasts.
He rocks his hips, thrusting up inside of me. He tweaks and twirls my nipples between his fingertips, causing them to ache and yearn for more. He slides his hand behind my neck and pulls me down for another one of his intoxicating kisses. This position strikes just the right chord inside of me, stoking my pleasure. My body flares into a light show, electricity dancing from my surface, shooting into Rafe through my fingers, tongue, and lips.

A strangle
d cry of passion erupts from his throat. He breaks the kiss, his head twisting back and forth. “Fire inside. A fucking fire. Can’t stop it, girl. Come for me. Come for me, now.”

I
surrender to the orgasm, arching and bucking as pleasure shoots through my pores, cascading up my spine, down my legs, into my belly and heart and neck, and washing Rafe’s cock with silky juice. Rafe shouts my name over and over and over as he explodes inside of me, his hands gripping my hips so hard I’m sure there will be bruises left behind.

As the pleasure subsides, I fall on top of Rafe, resting my head on his shoulder.

He strokes my head like he’s stroking a kitten, gently, lovingly, tenderly. “Oh, baby. That was unbelievable. And that was just for starters.” His softening erection springs back to life. “I’m not done with you,” he says softly into my hair.

“I can feel that,” I murmur into his shoulder.

“Let’s get into that cozy bed of yours.”

I shake my head left and right.
“You’ll come out of me.” My core muscles squeeze the deliciously firm delight nestled inside of me.

“Want to bet?” he says. He sits up. Holds me close to his hips. Works his legs underneath his torso. Somehow manages to get to his feet, still inside of me. He slowly rises to standing, his cock pulsing
, my legs secure around him, locked at the ankles. He takes a few steps over to the bed. Turns around. Sits down, pressing me tightly to him.

I balance on my knees, luxuriating in the
solid heat between my legs. “You feel really good inside of me.” I push a lock of his coppery hair from his eyes.

His eyes are clear and luminous.
“I sure do,” he answers. He lies back, pulling me with him and rolls back on top of me. “Ready for more?”

I laugh. “I kind of feel like we haven’t done anything yet. I feel like what we’re about to do has never been done before
, at least not by me.”

“It hasn’t. And it will always be this way with me. Each time
, I’ll get to experience you for the first time ever and you with me.”

“I thought your abilities didn’t affect you that way.”

“It seems they do with you. I think it’s because I love you. I told you I never loved anyone before.”

“Ah,” I say. I still can’t bring myself to say the words to him.
“So let’s do this, my teenage lover.”

A small smile appears on his face. “Teenage lover?”

“You look like you’re 17.”

“You do, too.” He thrusts
his hips.

A wave of energy ripples up inside of me.
Rafe is just the right size. Just the right fit. Just the right everything.
So why do I feel like I’m doing something wrong, like I’m the Great Betrayer?
The devil inside of me protests. I visualize throwing black paint all over that thought, gagging the devil with a leather hood and ball gag and sink back into the pleasure of this gorgeous, copper-haired man.

Rafe strokes me slowly, sensuously this time. He plants soft little kisses along my neck
, like he’s planting a garden of love inside of me. Each kiss lands with gentle intention. He nibbles my shoulder. He pushes his nose into my hair. He brushes my eyelids with his lips. He dips down for long, slow, lingering kisses.
Yes, everything about this is right. Everything about this is fantastic. Everything about this is new and fresh and wonderful.
In a short while, I orgasm again, milking him until he comes, too. I swear, I could this this all night long.

Rafe rolls next to me, embracing me in his arms. He tucks himself around me and just from his touch I feel like I’m the most precious gift he’s ever received.

Slightly sated, we both begin drifting into the Land of Nod. I’m just about there, floating away in his arms, when he whispers, “I found the trail to your soul bound lover.”

I jerk back to awake. “You what?”

“I know where to find your soul bound lover. I’ll tell you all about it. In the morning…” He sighs deeply and begins to snore softly.

I, however, toss the night away, excited, terrified, thrilled, guilty and in love, in love, in love with Rafe the shadow-land dwelling Stealth Numen. What will I tell my soul bound lover?

Daniel rests in the darkness. Three or maybe four or maybe six small
to large shapes rest with him. He can’t see them, but he knows they could do some serious harm if they were so inclined. They let him touch their wicked fanged faces, their powerful bodies, their clawed feet and arms, since he lets them out from time to time to feed. They let him pet them because he’s truly powerful now. He could crush each and every one of them if he chose to do so. It might be a fight, but he could do it.

He fingers the furry face of one of them. It
makes a snorting, purring kind of noise, indicating that it likes the touch. His fingers land on something that feels like a tooth - a long, sharp incisor used to shred its prey. The creature jerks its head back and lurches away from the touch. Apparently the teeth are off limits. A shuffling noise indicates that it’s wandering away.

His fingers seek out the jagged, barbed wire hair of
another creature. This one is big. As it lies against him, his feet find the belly. His toes scratch the scaly skin, and it sighs, contented. Its legs are somewhere past his feet. It’s strangely misshapen head is near Daniel’s head. He has an uneasy alliance with this deadly creature. When this one is released to the outside world, its aim is true and its intentions clear - kill whatever is in its path. Kill, consume, and be done with it.

It doesn’t trust easily.
He’s had to work and work and work some more to build up the trust between him and this hideous fanged creature. The process has been tough. He’s been clawed, bit, shaken between the beast’s teeth, all in complete darkness. He’s honed his new powers in the process. He finally won the last round. Hence, the creature lies next to him, allowing the touch. But does it trust him? Probably not. He can relate. He doesn’t trust himself either.

A stab of pain assaults his heart
, and he torpedoes to his feet, causing the demons and dark beasts to scurry, float, fly, slink, and crawl away. He’s been experiencing this kind of pain ever since he bound his soul to Marissa’s without her consent. This pain, however, is extreme. This one is making it hard to breathe. This one feels like someone is carving a hole in his chest cavity and sawing at his heart with a dull, spiked knife. For a moment he wonders if this is the end for him.
Am I dying? Is this it, here in the darkness? I didn’t even get to tell her goodbye. Why should that matter? She doesn’t trust me.

Trust has to be built slowly.
His mother used to tell him that when he was with Josephina.
Trust has to be tended like a garden. You’re going to be the strongest man alive. You’re going to have to trust and learn how to cultivate trust in others.
“Well, I haven’t done a very good job of that, have I, Mother?” he says to the darkness. “I didn’t do it with Josephina, trapping her soul in the confines of my bronze statuary because she could not make a choice, and I didn’t do it with Marissa. I’m a fool.”

The pain assaults his heart again and he roars, just like the beast
s whose companionship he shares.
Maybe I’ve lost her. This is hell. Pure and complete hell.
The pain is stabbing him, pulsating through his chest like swords being driven into his heart.

“You’re going to have to deal with this, you know. You’re going to have to face her again.
She’s up on Earth making choices, trying to figure things out without you.”

Daniel’s head whips back and forth
, searching the absence of light. “Mom? Are you there? Mom? Where are you?”

“I’m somewhere you can’t know. I’m somewhere you can’t find. I’m with you, though. I watch over you and care for you daily
in my own way.”

Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable
. Hearing my mom’s voice again is…is…is…
“How long has it been?”
For Christ’s sake, my voice is cracking like an adolescent.

“It’s been years. I’m sorry. I…I…I had to do it this way.”

An unexpected sob leaves his throat. “I’ve fucked everything up. I’m just like my father. I’ve fucked everything up, and now I have to live with not only one failure, but two.”

“You
have
made a mess of things, true.”

Ouch.
He winces. “I can’t seem to trust anything or anyone. I didn’t trust Josephina to make the right choice so I bound her to metal in my yard. I didn’t trust that Marissa would love me for me so I bound her to my soul.”

“Your father did the same thing to me.”

Daniel’s face falls. His brow creases with confusion. “He told me that he did it with your consent. That you had a blissful marriage.”

“Stories. Myths. Lies.”

Daniel’s jaw drops open. “So you’re telling me that you were soul bound without your consent?”

“Yes. We had to keep up appearances though.
We both told the same fable. It’s a terrible thing, to bind without agreement. It has nearly destroyed your father.”

“But…but…but you used to seem so happy when I was a child,” Daniel protested.

“We had a doable alliance in the beginning. But your father became greedy with power. The more he got, the more corrupt he became. The crueler he became. When he began to take his cruelty out on you, I had to leave him. My heart and soul were being crushed.
You
were his toy. I went away and distracted him from taking out his rage on you.”

Daniel rake
s his hands through his long hair. He rubs his bearded jaw. He’s let go of personal grooming in this world of darkness because, frankly, who gives a shit what he looks like? “I…I don’t know what to say. I’m stunned.”

“I had to tell you. You had to know. You have to make things right before it’s too late.”

A small gasp meets Daniel’s ears. “Are you okay,
Mom? What’s happening?”

“I’ve got to go. I’ve got to move.
I can feel your father’s essence. I have to constantly move to keep him from finding me. Be well, my son.”

“Mom? Will I ever see you again? Mom? Mom?”
When only the sound of beasts greets his ears, he runs his hands through his hair again, tugging on the dirty, messy locks.
The more power, he got the more corrupt he became.
His mother’s words replay in his head with stinging, biting truth.
Am I to suffer the same fate as my father? I have more power than anyone.
Unable to discern the answer, he sets about to find the goddamned breach in the spell his father has cast.
My father is not that clever. The opening is probably right in front of my nose. I probably haven’t wanted to find it. I’ve been hiding down here. But now, it’s time I came out and showed Marissa the kind of man I am - the kind of man she’ll want me to be - a man she can trust.

When I awaken the next day, there’s no sign of Rafe. An orchid rests on the pillow next to me. “Has he gone again?” I say, annoyed. “Where to now?” I get up, seize my robe, yank it around me, and zip out into the hall. “Rafe! Rafe! Where are you?”

“I’m here,” he replies, sauntering from
his room looking very amused. “A bit suspicious, are we?”

“I
don’t have the best batting record,” I say, thinking of Jason, the bozo with no boundaries I dated before I met the Night Numen, before I met you, the Stealth Numen.

“
I wanted to prepare you a cup of coffee,” he continues, “and bring it up to bed. I’m not very good when it comes to notes…you know, like to say, ‘Hey, honey, I’ve gone to the store to buy some milk’ so Amalia picked the orchid that I placed on your pillow. You were very sound asleep.” He strolls toward me.

My eyes scan up and down, up and down the entire
, delicious 6’4” height of him.

“But
before I made it downstairs to the kitchen to prepare coffee, I heard the throbbing of lost goods.”

“The throbbing of lost goods?”

“Yes, things that belong to someone…things that are essential, I mean…make a sound when they are not in the presence of their owner. It sounds like a pulsing moan.” His eyes glint as he shares this. “Not unlike the sounds I heard throughout the night from someone I know.”

I redden and lift my chin defiantly. “Make your point.”

“A Light Rebel should never…” He steps closer to me. “Ever…” He inches even closer. “Forget her weapon. It seems your training has faltered.”

“I don’t have much training,” I say.

“It shows.” He extends his hand to the side, and it disappears into his shadowy world. When he pulls it back, he’s holding my long, luminous dagger.

“Oh! Where
did I leave it?”

He twists it side to side, causing the light to refract along the surface in an array of pink, blue
, and light purple. “Tsk, tsk, Light Rebel. ‘Where did I leave it’ is not a very good answer. Where
did
you leave it last? Think you can remember, hmm?”

He
’s standing so close to me…he smells like sex. He smells like him and me. He smells like his own fragrant, coppery essence mingled with mine. For a moment, I forget the question he’s asked. All I want is to get back to the co-mingling we engaged in last night.

“Well?”
He says this one word with his lips a whisper from mine, the fingers of one hand entwined in my hair.

“I left it in the bedroom when we were called outside,” I breathe.
His fingers move almost hypnotically against my scalp, making circles. For someone who’s never been in love, Rafe is an excellent lover.

“Where anyone could have found it,” he says, brushing his nose against mine.

“Where anyone could have found it,” I agree.

“Do you suppose that was a good move, Light Rebel?” He feathers my cheeks with soft little kisses.

“No, I don’t. What would have been the right thing to do?”

“I have some ideas.” His fingers dance along my neck with supple expertise,
massaging and kneading me.

“I’d like to hear about them.” I run my
hands through his hair and make my way down to his strong shoulders. “I have a few thoughts, too.”

“You tell me yours
, and I’ll tell you mine,” he utters, nibbling the side of my neck.

“For start
ers, it should never leave my side,” I whisper into his ear. “It should be with me always, at the ready, should I need it.” I punctuate my sentence by massaging the front of his lightweight pants.

“Great idea, Light Rebel. Where should it be
kept?” His left hand pushes up under my robe and makes long, sweeping strokes up and down my side. His right hand compels the flat of my dagger blade against the top of my ass, right against the sacrum. He dips his head down and sucks one of my nipples into his mouth, holding the blade solidly in place against my back.

“Rafe!”
I gasp, but dare not move an inch. My sidearm is sharp as sharp can be…sharp and deadly. “You have my attention,” I say, swallowing hard, tense from head to foot. “In case you wondered.”

He gives one more leisurely suck on my nipple and releases it.
“Are you scared?” he asks, softly.

His eyes penetrate mine, fierce and gentle all at the same time.
“A little.” My voice comes out all breathy and weird. My eyes are getting moist.
Can I trust this man?

“I would never…” He presses the cold metal against my skin.

All it would take is one slip
. The finely honed edge of the metal is squeezing against my flesh, and I wonder if it’s drawing blood.

“Ever…” He
slowly, gently draws the flat steel along my skin. “Hurt you.” He extends the blade by his side.

I reach behind me to feel for blood. When my hand pulls back clean,
I take a deep breath.
Does causing fear count as causing pain or is this some kind of trust test?
He’s still looking at me, probing me with his gaze, and I wonder what, exactly, he’s trying to convey. I’m left feeling quite vulnerable and a little bit shaky.

“I mean it,” he says.

The intensity of his word causes my hands to spark and my solar plexus to glow. I take a huge shuddering breath this time, clench and unclench my hands.

He tips my chin up with his fingertips. “I
mean
it, Light Rebel. You have my word.”

“I believe you,” I say in that same new
, weird, breathy voice I’ve suddenly developed.

“Good.”

We share a long moment of eye contact. I feel like we’ve passed some sort of test. This is the guy who can bend steel bars when he hasn’t had sex or human touch of any kind. This is the guy who kills people for a living. This is the guy who pinned me to the garage and tried to strangle me without realizing it. And while I haven’t signed on any lines or been bound to him without my knowledge, I do believe we’ve just made a sacred trust. I lick my lips, wiggle my toes against the floor for a little grounding, and resume our saucy repartee. “This particular tool is kind of new to me. I thought you might have a suggestion or two.” My eyes challenge as my hand slides inside his waistband and lands on his rigid, warm cock. I cup his balls and give them a squeeze.

He hisses.
“I’d like to show you where to put it. I know a place that’s dark and deep. No one will find it there.”

“Surely not.
I’m ready.” Boy, oh, boy, am I ready - instantly wet and ready.

“Ready for me to show you?”

“Oh, yes!”

“You need to get a solid grip on things before I show you. This is, after all, a trade secret.”

“I think I can manage,” I say, unzipping his trousers. They fall to the ground and he steps out of them, freeing his delightful cock. Powerful, muscular, reddish-blond haired legs and bare feet compel my gaze to linger, savor, and enjoy. I unbutton his shirt so that I can see his flat belly and wide chest. Now my visual is complete. I grasp his erection and stroke it a couple times. “I’m pretty sure I have a good grip on it now. Show me where to put this new tool of mine.”

He leans forward and whispers a phrase in my ear. He says it slowly, with intention.

My solar plexus throbs as he utters each word. Light emanates with each sounding. My hands begin to tingle and electricity flares from my palms. “This is a power phrase,” I exclaim. I don’t know how I know that, but I know it to be true. “Thank you. I’m honored.”

Rafe leans away from me, looking pleased. “Don’t disappoint me,” he says. “I’m entrusting you with something that isn’t given lightly.
”

The double meaning of the words he’s just stated doesn’t escape me. Already the guy has given me his heart, and now he’s shared a trade secret with me? I sure hope I deserve it.
“I won’t,” I say solemnly, and I mean it. Truth is, though, none of us knows what lays ahead in our future. All I know is that a sacred trust has been bestowed upon me, and I shall do my best to guard it. Sobered, I release his erection and ask, “So tell me what to do.”

He
extends the dagger to me. “Hold it in your right hand.”

My fingers close around the handle.

“Silently mouth the phrase I just told you.”

I do. A small
, shimmering slit appears by my left side.

“Slide the blade into the
slit.”

I do as he says. The dagger slips inside, like it was meant to
be stored there. As it does, it disappears from view.

“Walk to the end of the hall.”

I turn and take a few steps.

“It’s still with you. It will be with you whenever you need it. As will I.”

He looks so sincere, so solemn, I melt. My heart opens wide. This guy really, really loves me.
Do I feel the same?
I can’t answer that question so I ask him, “How do I retrieve it?”

“Think the phrase at the same time you’re reaching for the dagger. Try it.”

I do and voila! The dagger is once more in my hand.

“Now put it away.”

It disappears beside me.

“Retrieve it.”

I pull it swiftly from my side.

“Good!” Rafe says.

I beam at him, slide it wherever it goes, and retrieve it, faster this time.

“Excellent, Light Rebel! Now put it away for a while. I’d like to share some other secrets with you if I may.”

I swallow. “Aren’t you polite?”

“I can be,” he says.
“If the situation calls for it.” His cock twitches. “Now where would you like me to put this tool?” He grasps his hard flesh.

“Oh, I’ve got a few good ideas,” I say, sauntering over to him.

An hour later, we’re lingering in the afterglow in bed. I trace circles and swirls on his chest with my fingertips. “Care to tell me what you were doing in Brookstone?”

He turns away from me. “You saw me in
Capão Bonito. The withdrawal was starting. I could sense the stirrings of aggression inside. I wanted to honor your refusal to not have sex with me,
and
I didn’t want to hurt you. I was only going to slip away for a minute, trace Armando’s steps, and renew myself before returning to your side.”

“But Dr. Bellows? And they don’t even think we’ve escaped. They all think we’re still in there.”

“Yeah. You and I - you probably don’t know this yet, but we can shift time. I slip in and out of different time realities all the time when I travel in the Shadow Lands. As for Brookstone - both Bellows and Matthew have a clue. It’s like a dream inside of both of them. They don’t know they had the same dream. As for the rest of the staff and patients, they haven’t a clue. When people see things far, far outside of the scope of their perception, they often forget it or reframe it in their mind as something else. Shit happens all around us, every minute of every day, and we only allow in what makes sense to us. You and I have a different sense of sense.” He looks at me from the corner of his eye and smiles. His smile quickly fades. “As for why Dr. Bellows, I don’t know. Fucking him and sucking him seems to calm me for a greater length of time than with anyone else. But I can’t stand the guy. He’s a creep. He’s a cruel bastard who takes advantage of the patients there. He took advantage of me for far too long. I really shouldn’t reward him but…” His lip curls in disdain. He purses his lips as if he’s deciding whether or not to say something else. “But I wanted to do whatever it took to not hurt you. That’s where I went the other day. When you told me I was in such a good mood.”

“Are you going to keep going there?” I ask.
My stupid chin actually quivers as I say this. I don’t know why this disturbs me so much.
Okay, yes, you do. You love the guy. Say it.
I push my pesky thoughts aside.

“No,” Rafe says flatly. “You provide calm and sustenance. And something else.
I never dreamed I’d be with someone like you, let alone love you.”

He’s looking at me again with the same intensity when he was telling me he’
d never hurt me. “What is it that being with me provides?” I ask.

“You know what it is. I told you, I love you, Marissa Engles. And yes, I’m well aware that the sentiment has not left your lips.”

“I…there’s still Daniel. I’m torn.”

“Yes, there’s still Daniel hiding in the dark.
I told you, I’ll share if he will. Not that he deserves the sharing.” Rafe shoves away the covers and sits up. “I also told you I was going to take you to him. I found the trail when I was following Armando’s steps.” He reaches for his pants, yanks them on, and proceeds to stalk across my room for the door.

“
Wait! Rafe!”

“What for? We have a job to do. Let’s do it.”

Gone is the soft, loving Rafe. He’s been coopted by the trained killer. “Wait,” I call again. But Rafe is already heading toward the stairs.
I was going to tell him that I love him
.
I really was. The words were right there on the tip of my tongue.
“You do
not
get to stalk away from me, Rafe!” I race after him and grab his arm.