The Effects of Falling (The Weight of Rain Duet Book 2) (9 page)

“Not me.” Lo grins, resting her head on the palm of her hand that is propped up by her pillow.

“I feel like I’m cheating on him when I even consider dating other guys. Isn’t that pitiful?”

“No. You care deeply for him. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone if you dated someone, knowing you would never like them.” Lo’s answer feels like a validation. “When I started watching Mercedes, Allie and Charleigh thought I should date Kash. I tried to picture kissing him though, and it made my stomach hurt. Not because Kash is unattractive, or because he isn’t a nice guy, it just didn’t feel right.”

Silence falls between us again, and I look over to see her eyes are closed. Part of me wishes she would ask more questions, allow me to reveal things that I suddenly feel ready to release. The other part of me is glad, knowing I’ll regret the level of truth she’s eliciting.

“Do you think I’m weak for forgiving my mom?” Lo asks, surprising me.

“What all have you forgiven her for?”

“I don’t know,” she answers after another long silence. “Not loving me enough.”

M
ERCEDES’ HAND WRAPS
around mine as we approach the hospital. I wish the hot shower I was able to catch early this morning made me feel ready to face this day, but it didn’t. As many times as I hear Lo assure Mercedes that this is a common procedure that he’ll recover quickly from, I can’t fully accept that it will be nearly so simple.

The lobby has a line by the small coffee shop, which has the fumes of grinding beans offending my nose. I can’t stand even the scent.

“Let’s grab something before we go up,” Lo suggests. “Want me to grab you a muffin or a bagel or something?”

I send her a small smile to thank her for allowing me this exit so I can meet with Robert and the doctor before his surgery. After telling her to get me a brownie if they have them, I head toward the elevators.

As the doors open on the seventh floor, my phone rings, Kash’s ringtone filling the air. “Hey.” I am relieved, comforted, and anxious to hear from him, making my greeting come out rushed and loud.

“Summer.” My name sounds like a sigh. “God, I’m so glad I caught you. I’m so glad to hear your voice.” He groans. “I’ve been driving for … I don’t even know … hours.”

“What? Where are you?”

He chuckles a humorless laugh that tugs on every edge of my heart. I want to be with him to offer support and comfort. Assure him that everything will be all right, and distract his wild fears, so they stop haunting him. “I don’t know,” Kash admits. “The shoulder of the road somewhere that I finally have reception. Is Robert in surgery yet?”

“Not for another hour.”

“How’s he doing? Does he look okay? Are the doctors concerned at all?”

The corners of my lips curl into a smile. Kash’s heart is as big as his need for adventure.

“You wouldn’t even think anything was wrong when looking at him,” I explain. “And he isn’t worried. Not even a little. He’s hitting on nurses and complaining about the food.”

Kash exhales a rush of breath into the mouthpiece, and I can picture him in a car, his head tilted skyward as he leans back.

“I’m so glad you’re there. I feel so much better knowing you’re able to check on things, and make sure they’re both all right. But, God, I wish you were here. I feel so wound up. Like I’ve had caffeine shot through me along with cocaine and meth and a thousand other things, and they’re about to cause some sort of combustion.”

“Three more days.”

“Three more days,” he repeats.

“How did things go yesterday?”

“Frustrating.” The single word also describes his tone perfectly. “I am so fucking pissed off with this shoot and everyone involved. It’s a joke. The first day was fine. Now, they’re getting ridiculous. They’re asking for a lawsuit with the shit they keep thinking up. And to have us travel farther north where there’s no reception after throwing a shit-fit over me leaving just makes me want to say,
kiss my ass
!”

“We’ll blacklist them. They were starting to grow, but if they’re going to treat their talent like this, they need to be outed.”

“Exactly.” His voice rises. “That’s
exactly
what I said.”

“You only have two more days.”

“I hope so. If they try to prolong it, I’m walking. I don’t give a shit if they try to sue me. I’m so over it.”

I pray King is doing a better job at keeping a level head, but I doubt he is. Neither of them is hotheaded per se, but when it comes to the people they care about, they don’t move mountains, they destroy them.

A nurse approaches me, concern furrowing her brow from me remaining motionless. I smile to keep her at arm’s length and resume walking from where I stopped to lean against the wall and soak in some time with Kash. I feel better. Stronger. Ready to face this day, and it’s all been granted to me by speaking to him for a few brief moments.

“Do you want to talk to Robert?”

“Is he there? I would. I’d like to talk to him and Mercedes for a second.”

“They’d like that too.” I move in the direction of his room. “I’ll let you know as soon as he’s out of surgery. If you aren’t where you can talk, don’t worry, we’ll be here all day.”

“You’re the best, Summer. I can’t even…”

“Then, don’t. I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay.”

Robert’s face lifts into a smile as I walk in. Even his eyes are smiling, and as I extend my arm to hand him the phone, a soft laugh breaks through his parted lips, knowing Kash is on the phone though it’s a ridiculous hour on the West Coast.

“If you think you’re going to give me any words of wisdom, you can take them and shove ’em up your ass, Kash,” Robert warns.

I hear both parties laugh. Then, Robert’s shoulders settle into the bed and he listens for a few moments.

Lo and Mercedes make their way in a few minutes later, each sporting a cardboard cup and wide eyes. Neither of them should be drinking caffeine with their nerves already on high alert, but I don’t say anything as Mercedes’ gaze meets mine with questions brightening them.

“He wants to talk to you,” I tell her.

The first real smile I’ve seen from her since arriving crosses her face, and in a few bounds she’s beside Robert’s bed, looking far more hopeful and prepared for what’s to come.

When they both wrap up their calls with Kash, the four of us make an effort to talk and interact like this is another normal day, but our topics remain light and easy. Too easy. They’re causing me to be restless rather than comforted. I’ve never been one to appreciate avoiding the elephant in the room, and this is no different.

A nurse appears in the room with an orderly to move Robert to the operating room, and my heart thunders with the fear that this will be the last time I might see him. My eyes cloud, my throat constricts, and my arms fold across my chest.

“I need just a second,” Robert tells the nurse, swallowing his own discomfort in a move that has the column of his throat shifting.

I look to him, worried that he’s equally as afraid as I am. I need him to be the strong one here, selfish as that might be.

Robert reaches forward and grips my hand tightly. “I need to talk to my daughter,” he lies.

The nurse looks more reluctant than Mercedes to vacate the room, but Lo takes a step in front of her and manages to corral them into the hallway before closing the door with a nearly silent click.

“This isn’t my death bed, so I’m not going to give you any last wishes or advice, or anything like that, because I know you wouldn’t appreciate it nor listen, but, I am going to tell you this. My heart attack was a wake-up call—to me and all of you. And I think we needed it.

“I can never replace Arianna. Neither can Kash, and neither can you. She will always be the mother of Mercedes, and someone that he loved. But, you need to stop being afraid of replacing her, and realize you fit in that family just as easily as King and Lo do. A family doesn’t need to be a mother, father, and child.”

“Kash has so much going on—”

“Summer,” Robert interrupts my next excuse. “Life is unpredictable. You never know what will happen, so you have to try your damnedest to ensure you take everything you can while it’s still there.”

“You’re telling me to date your daughter’s fiancé?” The words sound worse in my head with each second that passes as he stares at me thoughtfully.

“You have to stop seeing him as Arianna’s fiancé. He hasn’t been that for years.”

Knuckles strike the door, and it opens again. The nurse appears with wide eyes, conveying her lost patience. “We have to stay on schedule.”

Robert dips his chin in a quick gesture that shows he’s ready, and then contradicts the action by grabbing my hand. I feel the harsh stubble of his beard on the sensitive skin stretched across my knuckles as he softly kisses me. My focus remains locked on where his thumb is pressed to the middle of my hand until neither of us can reach any farther, and we lose contact.

M
Y PHONE BUZZES
, making heads in the sparsely lit waiting room turn toward us. The small room is shadowed, unlike the bright hallways that lead to it, as if to conceal the expressions of the others also waiting for loved ones.

I know it’s Kash. I don’t think he ever drove back to wherever he was supposed to for today’s shoot. All I can do is hope he isn’t sitting on the side of the road by himself, out in the middle of nowhere.

Kash: Is Mercedes still all right? Her responses are all short.

Me: She’s concise. I take credit for that. We don’t need extra words.

Kash: LOL. Truly, I’m laughing out loud. That was great.

Me: I’ll be home to amuse you once Robert is out of surgery, Universal Studios is checked off of Mercedes’ bucket list, and my clothes are dried from this humidity.

Kash: Universal Studios?

Me: Didn’t you know? I’m the best.

The sight of Robert’s doctor entering the waiting room and peering around has me sitting up straighter, catching Lo’s attention from beside me. I can’t remember his name. I only know that my mother would have been grinding her bony elbow into my ribs to encourage me to hold my chin higher, smile wider, and maintain eye contact with him long enough that he would have held my stare a few seconds before I feigned losing interest in an attempt to catch his intrigue. She called it the look of deep thought. Men were supposed to question what we could be pondering while, really, we were only waiting for the next marker. The fact that this enters my mind, especially at a time like this, makes me grind my teeth together before dropping my shoulders and slumping down in my seat.

“Everything went great. He’s in the recovery room now, and will be in his room in the next ten minutes or so,” the doctor says with a gentle smile. “The stent went in successfully, and the blockage is cleared now. Hopefully it will serve as an additional measure to prevent future damage, but he will need to meet with a cardiologist once he’s home. They’ll set him up with a nutritionist and some classes for physical activity.”

I nod, relieved and anxious for this to be over. Never can I recall feeling so ready to board a damn plane, but right now, I feel like I would sell my house just to fly home to Portland.