The Mermaid's Mirror (27 page)

Speechless, Lena watched the seal swim around for a long moment. She glanced back at Lorelei and Havfine, who had been observing this exchange in amazed silence.

"Your question remains unasked, my dear," said the seal. "Your ambivalence is palpable. Thus I will broach the topic for you. No, the change is not permanent. But yes, it
is
painful. Just like a mermaid getting legs ... a human getting a tail is not for the faint of heart. You have heard the song? The reference to burning sand? It is quite true. In the heat of noonday, I bury you from the waist down in sand." She smiled, causing Lena to shiver. "There you remain for twenty-four hours.
If
you can endure it."

Psamanthe's voice in Lena's head had been perfectly friendly the whole time they were together, but a chill touched Lena's soul. After all, gods and goddesses were not famous for their kindness.

The seal regarded Lena, cocking her head. "Surely you do not deny your own ambivalence, young supplicant. Observe the cumbersome cloak, still hanging from your shoulders. If your desire to live in the sea were stronger, you would have stripped it off by now. And what of this?" The seal swam close to Lena's ankle, her whiskers tickling the skin of her foot. "This braid is a human memento. You wear it still because you have not fully embraced this life."

Lena reached down and touched the yarn around her ankle and, for an instant, saw a human girl's face in her mind.

"I have enjoyed meeting you, Lena. No human has sought my favor in more than a century. But as I am unable to grant any wish for you, I must take my leave."

"You don't live here?"

The seal chuckled and rolled. "No, I reside among the humans now. It's far more comfortable. But I will be here whenever you decide to make a formal request." Psamanthe slid fluidly out of the water, and when Lena raised her eyes above the surface, the goddess stood on the sand in her human form again.

"That was refreshing," she said, shaking water out of her short hair. "It has been far too long since I enjoyed my seal form." She pulled on her clothes and came close to the edge of the water. "Selena."

Lena nodded, eyes wide.

"The problem is not that you must choose between the two worlds." For the first time, a gentle note came into the goddess's voice. "The problem is that you feel like an outsider in both worlds."

They stared at each other, then Psamanthe said, "Choose wisely."

She slid on her sandals and walked out of sight.

Lena watched her go, then sank beneath the surface. Lorelei and Havfine rushed to her side.

No one spoke for a long moment.

Then Lorelei burst out, "That was unbelievable! I thought Psamanthe dwelt in her cavern at all times, but of course! She is a goddess. She would have riches and a human dwelling and—"

Lena turned to Havfine and said, "I need your dagger."

He was staring at Lorelei, so it took him a second to absorb Lena's words. "What?"

"Please, may I borrow your dagger?"

Havfine unsheathed his ivory blade and handed it to her, hilt first.

Lena reached down and sliced through the braid around her ankle, letting the bits of yarn float away.
It's not an offering,
she thought.
It's a promise.

***

Brian told the lie so many times he almost believed it: "Lena has gone on a trip with her grandmother." The neighbors, the school, even his co-workers. He knew her friends were upset because Lena didn't answer their calls or messages. But he did not have the energy to craft a more convincing lie for them.

Since he could not look into his son's face and lie to him, Brian asked Allie to do it. She told the tale very plainly, but still Cole asked every day, "When is Lena coming home?"

You feel like an outsider in both worlds.

Lena swam ahead of Lorelei and Havfine, those words as painful as the sting of a jellyfish. She didn't even try to Cloud her mind, so the source of her agitation was clear to Lorelei and Havfine.

When she could no longer tell which direction was the right way home, Havfine took the lead, touching her shoulder as he passed by. Lorelei stayed by Lena's side but did not attempt to speak to her. Instead she hummed a wordless melody that somehow calmed Lena's thoughts.

As they reached the village, Lena saw Merrow and Amphitrite dining with several of their grandchildren. She saw Fossegrim playing his flute, leading a number of children in a wiggly dance around the circle of stones. She saw her mother sitting with Nereus and Iona and another mermaid—she thought her name might be Sedna—sipping kelp juice while they talked.

I want to belong here,
she thought.

Nereus glanced up and saw them. "Ah, the wanderers return."

Melusina turned and smiled. "Hello, Selena. Did Lori and Hav show you many sights today?"

"Yes," said Lena. "I'm very grateful to them. They would have traveled much faster without me." She looked at her cousin and Havfine, and said simply, "Thank you."

Then a pair of strong hands encircled her waist, pulling her back against his chest, and Nix said, "I have missed you, my Selena. Will you dine with me? I must return to my patrol before long."

Lena turned to face him. She did not feel like an outsider when she was in Nix's arms. She pressed close to him. "I love you, Nix," she said. "I want to stay here with you."

Surprised by her vehemence, Nix did not answer at first. Then he kissed her and murmured, "I am glad to hear it. You know that my heart is in thrall to you."

Tears sprang to her eyes, and Lena could not speak. She pressed Nix's warm hand against her own heart.

"Tomorrow," said Nix. "Let us stand in the circle before the whole of the village and declare that we belong to each other." He kissed her lips, and her cheeks, and her forehead.

"Yes," said Lena. "Is it ... like a promise?"

"It
is
a promise, my love. But tonight," he continued, "let us dine together, then I will rest with you until you fall asleep. I will surface, then I will complete my turn as patrol. And tomorrow we will be together." His thumb traced the curve of her cheek.

They ate quickly, more focused on each other than their food. Lena sat close enough to Nix that her leg was touching his strong tail, and their hands kept seeking one another, fingers twining briefly before slipping away.

Lena did not return to the cave for the Riven that night.

"I want to be alone with you," she told Nix, and he led her to a little-used sleeping cave at the farthest edge of the village, near the kelp forest. Perhaps the others saw them enter together, because no one followed.

They lay wrapped around each other, sighing wordless songs of love, until Lena fell asleep.

When Lena awoke, Nix had gone. As she rose from her bed of seaweed, she saw three stones on the ground beside her, their edges touching.

Next time you see me, Nix,
she thought,
there will be no cloak or human garment between us.

The village was quiet—it was one of those rare occasions when almost all the mer-folk were asleep or surfacing. Lena swam into the cave for the Riven, where her mother lay.

"Mama," she said, touching her mother's arm.

"Daughter." Melusina smiled, opening her eyes and stretching.

"I am ready to take off the cloak."

Her mother sat up, searching Lena's face. Then she smiled. "I knew your heart would banish your doubt."

"What should I do? Is there a ceremony?"

Melusina shook her head. "Do you feel any anxiety?"

"No."

"Even in the most secret pulse of your blood?"

"No," repeated Lena.

Melusina put her hands on her daughter's shoulders, studying her carefully, then agreed, "I feel no trepidation within you." She smiled and took her hands away. "I feel only impatience. Close your eyes."

Lena obeyed.

"Allow your immutable belief in this world to fill your soul. Allow the never-ending love of your mother to hold you steady. Allow the support of our people to bind you to this place. And lastly, allow the purity of true love to light your desire."

Fingers caressing the sealskin cloak, as if in gratitude for its protection, Lena filled her mind with images from her new life: the mystical people of this undersea village, revolving around her in their welcoming dance ... Lorelei's loyalty and humor ... Merrow's warm embrace ... playful dolphins ... children with their flutes ... her mother's joy at having Lena back ... and finally, the dark eyes of her true love, drinking in the sight of her as if he would never have his fill...

Fixing this last image in her mind, Lena slowly pushed the sealskin cloak off her head and down below her shoulders. She inhaled. The life-giving ocean water continued to flow in and out of her lungs. There was no sudden need for air. She smiled.

"You are my brave daughter," said her mother.

Lena laughed and lifted her arms, now so much lighter, spinning around in pleasure. She put her hands on her jacket. "And now," she said, "I can finally take this off!"

Melusina clapped.

"I guess I'll take off the shirt, too," said Lena, hesitating.

"Of course."

"Even though my, um, chest will show."

"Ah," said Melusina, smiling. "You shall have a necklace to wear, if you feel modest."

"Could I have one like yours?" asked Lena. "With the white and black pearls?"

"We shall dive for pearls together until we have gathered enough for you. But it would bring me immense pleasure to have you wear mine, until we make you a necklace of your own. Yours should contain diamonds, as well, in honor of your village on land."

"Wait till Nix sees me." Lena began to slide out of her jacket, feeling something in the pockets as she did so. She put her hand into the left pocket and pulled out the coral comb she had found in her father's sea chest.

She blinked. "Oh," she said. "I forgot this was in there."

Melusina stared at the heavy coral comb. "My ... that is my comb," she said in confusion.

Lena held it out to her. Melusina took it, turning it over in her hands. She lifted it to her head and drew it slowly through her hair, her eyes fluttering shut. "This was given to me when I was a small maid," she whispered.

With something like dread, Lena felt in her other pocket, and withdrew the mermaid's mirror. She lifted it to her face and saw her own startled reflection. Then, in a swift whirl of colors, the surface of the mirror began to change. She barely had time to think,
Now that I'm down here, what will I see in the mirror?

And there, suddenly, in the crystalline glass, was her father. And Allie.

Lena's memories crashed back into her mind.

The cloak,
she thought.
That damnable cloak. It stole my memory.

Her parents were in their bedroom, yellowish light from a bedside lamp illuminating their still figures. It had been so long since Lena had seen electrical light that she squinted against its brightness. Her dad was sitting up in bed, a book in his lap, but he wasn't reading. He stared blankly in front of him, his face wan. His blue eyes were dull. Allie lay in bed next to him. Her eyes were closed, but she looked so rigid and miserable that Lena knew she wasn't asleep.

Lena began to tremble, which caused the mirror in her hand to shift perspective. Now she could see the rest of their room. The sea chest was sitting on top of their mahogany bureau, and next to it were her sneakers, the shoes she had left on the rocks at Magic's.

"Oh, no," she said.

Melusina opened her eyes and saw the mirror in Lena's hand. "My mirror," she whispered. For a long moment, she remained frozen, as if carved from marble. A combination of longing and horror came over her face, yet she did not move.

Lena heard her un-Cloudedt hought:
I will remember.

Melusina lifted her eyes and looked steadily at Lena, as if to prolong this last moment between them before she looked upon the visions in the mirror. Then she lowered her gaze to the glass. Her lips parted.

"Brian," she said.

A look of such terrible pain swept over her mother's face that Lena thought she would surely cry out. Instead, the sound of her mother's voice in Lena's mind was almost a whisper. "My beloved Brian ... I remember now..."

Melusina's eyes remained fastened on the mirror, then she said unc ertainly, "Allison?"

Lena put a hand to her mouth. She had forgotten her mother once knew Allie.

Comprehension flooded Melusina's face, and she backed away from the mirror, putting her hands to her head as if to block out the storm of memories crashing into it.

Lena's trembling increased as she looked from her grief-stricken mother beside her to her grief-stricken father and stepmother in the depths of the mirror.

Where was Cole? She turned the mirror until it obeyed her wish, and the view moved outside of her parents' bedroom, down the darkened hall, and into Cole's room.

Cole's room was illuminated only by the weak glow from his Raiders night-light. Lena zoomed in on the small form in his bed. Cole was awake. She could see his lips moving and bent her head closer to the mirror, listening.

"
By the light ... of the blueberry moon,
" he was singing softly. "
We sang this song ... in Lena's room
..."

Lena dropped the mirror, moaning.

Melusina was shaking her head, her long hair floating around her agitated figure. "No ... oh, no ... Brian..."

She suddenly swept forward to catch the falling mirror, looking into it hungrily. "Who is this child?"

"That's Cole. My little brother."

"The child of Brian and Allison?"

Lena nodded.

Melusina looked hard into the mirror, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "He's beautiful."

"Yes."

"What is he saying?" Melusina held the mirror closer. When she heard his words, she looked curiously at Lena. "How does he know that song?"

"I remembered it a while ago. I started singing it to him at bedtime." Lena could not bring herself to look at Cole's little face again as he lay alone in bed. She was tempted to put her hands over her ears to block out the sound of his voice. What had her parents told him? Did he think she was coming back? Or did he think she was ... dead?