The Road Back (11 page)

After the pause that followed, Susan said tentatively, ‘Chris, dear, can I ask how you're going with your job hunt?' When he didn't answer she pressed on. ‘It's nearly the middle of January and a decision is going to have to be made about Megan's schooling. You've told me that Jill isn't interested in paying boarding fees for Megan to stay in her Sydney school and you can't afford to do that by yourself at this time, so have you thought through what your next move might be if the right job doesn't eventuate pretty quickly?'

Chris sighed. ‘All I can do is keep trying. But yes, you're right, if something doesn't turn up soon, I'm going to have to make some hard choices, and that will have to involve Megan.'

‘I hate to suggest this, because I know that you only want to be a journalist, but while you're waiting for a media job, you could perhaps do something else to earn some money?'

‘You know, Mum, you're being really wonderful. I don't know where I'd be without you, but what can I do? Walk into the supermarket and stack shelves, for goodness sake?' Suddenly Chris's frustration and fear boiled over.

‘You shouldn't be too proud to do any kind of work to earn a living,' Susan said pointedly.

‘Sorry, Mum. It's just that I have to keep banging away at doors. If I stop, I could miss an opening somewhere.'

‘Chris, it's up to you, but crunch time is coming. Are you going to stick to your word and keep Megan with you? And if so, how are you going to manage?'

Chris knew his mother's blunt assessment was right, but at that moment, it didn't seem to be helping. ‘Mum, I don't bloody know!' He got up and walked to the front door. ‘Let me think about it.'

Later that afternoon, Megan trudged up the driveway chewing the last of her gelato cone, her skateboard under her arm. Chris watched her from his father's office. From her slumped shoulders to her dragging feet, Megan radiated sulky boredom. Chris understood how she felt, and didn't want to be too hard on her when being in Neverend was so different from her life in Sydney. He wished he could get her motivated and interested in something.
Mum's right
, he thought. Eight weeks of holidays was too long.

But when Chris was her age holidays had never seemed long enough. The car trip towing their old caravan, the long summer days camping, swimming, fishing, hiking and meeting other kids had seemed to go by in a flash. The card games at night by lantern light, cooking meals over the open fire in the old camp oven or frying pan, reading in the shade and even the sunburn, oyster cuts, sprains and embedded fish hooks were fond memories. Chris and Kate had never been bored with the games of cricket, swimming races in the lagoon, exploring the caves up on the hill and taking the old rowboat to a secret fishing hole. It would have been enjoyable to have done that sort of thing with Megan. Now it all seemed too late, the opportunity gone.

He turned to his computer screen to type out yet another email to a contact asking about work.

He came out of the office a little later feeling tense.

‘You look down in the mouth, sweetie,' said Susan, looking up from a magazine.

‘That's one way of putting it,' he said, his mouth twisting in a grimace.

‘No luck?'

‘More knock-backs. You know, Mum, I even tried the local media – the ABC and regional TV as well. I mean, I'm here, I could whip up a story or two for them.'

‘They'd be thrilled to have you, too. “Local boy made good” and all that.'

‘You might think so, but they just weren't interested.' He began to pace around the room. ‘I know that some big-name journos can make good money in TV, but not in the sticks, and not if the journo has to be retrained like I would have to be. The ABC does a great job, especially in the regions, but there aren't any vacancies.' Chris rubbed his face with his hands. ‘Mind you, they were kind enough to accept my resume and told me that if a position came up they'd let me know, but I got the impression that's highly unlikely.'

‘But Chris, you're a print journalist. Surely you went and saw the local
Star
?'

‘Mum, when I approached them to write a piece or two, it was assumed that I was going to write for free. When I asked what I'd be paid, there was a shocked silence. Then I was told the pay rate and it was a pittance, so I said I'd changed my mind.'

Susan frowned. ‘Was that wise? Even a pittance is better than nothing. I mean, just to get yourself out there.'

‘Mum, I earned more when I was seventeen.'

‘I see,' she said quietly. ‘Have you thought about what I said? Considered any other kind of work, just in the interim?'

‘I have, but Mum, I just don't know that I have many other skills,' said Chris ruefully. ‘You remember what a disaster it was when I tried to mow the neighbours' lawns.'

‘You weren't that bad,' said Susan. ‘You managed to save up enough from that job to put down a deposit on your first car. Your dad and I were very proud of you. And what about Megan? Does she have to work for her pocket money?'

‘I'm not sure. Gosh, I haven't even discussed that with Megan. Is that another thing I'll need to pay for?'

‘Let's make a cup of coffee.' Susan went into the kitchen, flicked on the kettle and got out a couple of mugs. Chris followed her.

‘Where's Megan?'

‘I caught her moping, so I sent her down to the supermarket for a few things for dinner.'

‘She's still missing Ruby,' said Chris. ‘She had her bestie with her and now she's alone again.'

‘I would scarcely say she's alone! She's milled around with the kids at the skateboard park. She thinks Carla is kind of cool and she's visited some of my friends. Stephen and Val have asked her out to their farm, as they have new kid goats which are adorable. Her life can't be all shopping malls and trips to the beach,' said Susan briskly.

‘Maybe you're right, Mum, although I can understand how Megan feels. Her friends are getting on with their lives without her. I guess she feels left out.'

Susan poured their coffee and they walked back into the living room. ‘Chris, sorry to bang on about this, but you have to decide what you are going to do about Megan's schooling. You can't keep putting off the decision.'

‘I don't know what to do,' said Chris, slouching in his chair. ‘I have no idea where I'll be.'

‘You have to decide,' said Susan firmly, taking a seat beside him. ‘Do you think you should sell your flat and rent for a while in Sydney? You could use the sale money to pay Megan's school fees and live off your savings until you find another well-paying job. Could you use your savings and money from selling the flat to send Megan as a boarder? How much is it for her to board?'

Chris told her the amount and Susan looked shocked. ‘That's even more expensive than I thought,' she said. ‘No wonder Jill's baulked at wanting to pay for that.'

Chris shook his head sadly. ‘Being realistic, Mum, I know the flat wouldn't bring me that much. I haven't had it long enough to have much equity in it. Besides, have you any idea what rent is like in the area near Megan's school? I'd run out of money in no time.' He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘And I don't have much saved up either. I just never expected this situation. Maybe Jill was right after all when she said that an expensive school wasn't a very good idea, but I didn't know when Megan enrolled that I'd lose my job.'

Susan put her hand on his arm. ‘Then what? Shall I loan you the money so you can stay in Sydney and Megan can keep attending her school? I have more than I need and everything I have goes to you and Kate anyway, so you could take part of your inheritance now.'

‘No! Thank you, Mum, that's very generous of you, but I wouldn't hear of it. I wouldn't know when I could pay it back.' Chris was horrified. How could he take money from her? Even for something as important as Megan's education, taking money from his mother just didn't seem right. He rubbed his eyes. ‘I appreciate your offer, Mum. I'll think about it. I just can't believe I'm in this nightmare.'

‘It's called Life, sweetheart. Ups and downs. The good and the bad, but nothing lasts forever.' She sipped her coffee. ‘May I make a suggestion?'

‘Anything. I feel helpless and at a loss. My career might be over. I'm worried about whether I'll be able to pay my mortgage and my car loan. And worst of all, I'm scared I'm going to let Megan down. I've finally had the chance for real time with my daughter and now everything is a total mess.' Chris put his head in his hands. He didn't want to say it out loud, but he recognised that this was one of the lowest points in his life.

‘Well, I think you and Megan should stay here, with me, until you get back on your feet,' said Susan. ‘Hopefully it will only be for a short time, maybe no more than one school term. I'm sure arrangements could be made between her current school and the perfectly good high school here.'

Chris stared at her. ‘She'd hate that! What about all her friends? And it would really disrupt her schooling.'

Susan shook her head. ‘Not necessarily. She's not at the stage of having to sit any big exams yet. It's the beginning of the school year, which is the best time to change schools. Quite frankly, as a former teacher, I think it would be easier for Megan to start a new school now rather than having to change later in the year. Besides, if you get a job quickly, you can always return to Sydney and really nothing will be lost. She can pick up where she left off. Kids are really more adaptable than we give them credit for.'

‘I suppose her other option is Perth,' Chris said.
‘I don't think she would like that either, although she might prefer it when faced with such a choice. But you're right, Mum. I've known it all along, really. The expensive school is out for the time being.' Chris paused and then drained his coffee. ‘But what about me? We can't stay here forever. What should
I
do?'

‘Keep doing whatever you have to do to get a job back in your world,' said Susan. ‘But if you lived here, it would be a lot cheaper, no rent. If you feel the need to share household expenses, that's fine with me, although as far as I'm concerned there is no need. But I do think that you should get some sort of work to put some cash in your pocket. Do anything, work as a tradie's helper, farm worker, see what's going in Coffs Harbour. Look online or in the local papers. Ask your mates.'

Chris frowned. ‘That'll be awkward.'

‘For goodness sake, Chris, no it won't!' exclaimed Susan. ‘These are your friends, people you've known all your life! And it's the country, where real people live, not the city where everyone feels they have to keep up a super-successful façade!'

Chris managed a smile. ‘Okay. I hear what you're saying. The boys and I are playing golf tomorrow. I'll sound them out about finding work.'

‘Good,' said Susan, looking mollified. She took their empty cups to the sink and washed them out. ‘It seems dire now, Chris, but it will all work out. You'll see.'

Chris watched as she padded down the hallway to her bedroom. He felt better having talked over his problems with his mother. Some of the weight he had been carrying had lifted. Staying at Neverend wasn't a perfect solution, but it was the best thing for the time being. But how was Megan going to take it?

*

Megan chose the next morning to have a long sleep-in, so Chris postponed his conversation with her until the afternoon. Chris decided to revisit the
Coastal Star
, the newspaper that serviced the local area around Coffs Harbour. He asked at reception to speak to Oliver Brand, the editor, and gave his name.

‘Not sure if Ollie'll see you without an appointment, but it's a bit of a slow day,' said the girl at the desk with a smile.

Chris was ushered into the editor's small office, which was separated from other cubicles and a larger room where an older man and a young girl were working at computers. Along one wall Chris could see storage cabinets so over-stuffed that their drawers were unable to close properly, sitting beside files of old newspapers attached to wooden frames.

Oliver Brand was in his early thirties, if that, Chris thought. He was wearing a club football jumper.

‘Sorry to just drop in,' said Chris. ‘I was in town.'

‘Very pleased to meet you,' said Oliver, shaking Chris's hand. ‘It's a privilege. I believe you were in the office a few days ago. I'm sorry I missed you. I'm a new boy here and I didn't realise you came from the area.'

‘Are you from down south?'

‘Wagga Wagga via Mildura. You gotta go where the work and the promotions are, right?'

Chris nodded. He'd been keen like this once, ready to go anywhere, write whatever stories he was given. This job was a stepping stone for this young bloke. But would he continue to hop around the chessboard of new journalism or find the pool of papers drying up and have to move sideways into digital and online work like so many others?

‘I think I mentioned when I was in here before that I've just come back from the US. I was about to be posted to Asia but my family situation has changed and now I have my fourteen-year-old daughter living with me. I know I said I couldn't take that column that was offered, but I was wondering if you might allow me to reconsider. I like to keep my hand in, and as I'm staying in the area . . .'

Oliver held up his hand. ‘Don't tell me. You're doing some research up here! Anything to do with that highway upgrade? That's a nightmare. No, look, sure, Chris. We'd be honoured to have your by-line in the paper. Can't pay over the going rate, you understand . . .'

Chris made a gesture. ‘Of course. I understand budget constraints. But it would also help me get a feel for what's happening in not only this part of Australia, but the general mood of the country. I want to stay in touch with the grass roots of Australia.'