The Steele Wolf (The Iron Butterfly) (2 page)

Fox Fur stiffened next to me and turned to look at me closely. “You don’t remember us?” he asked. “You don’t remember me?”

Breathing out a frustrated sigh, I turned and looked at Fox Fur a little closer. He was easily the second tallest clansman next to my father. He had long auburn hair that was tied back with a leather strap. Alert green eyes and angular jaw complemented his features, making him resemble the animal that he wore on his shoulders, the fox. His boots were well tended and his arm circlet was silver in design and wound around a very well toned arm. Looking away from him quickly and back at the fire, I shook my head.

I heard him swear. “Excuse me; I think it’s my turn to join your father.” Grabbing a discarded sword, he stepped in the path of Bearen’s downward swing and blocked the sword from hitting another clansman. I watched in fascination, as they were both equally matched fighters. Bearen had been fighting for some time and you could see that he was tiring. About a candle mark later, the fight ended in a draw. Huffing and puffing and with many slaps to the back, both fighters walked away and kneeled by the fire. One of the men brought them each something to drink.

An elderly man handed a tankard to me and I took a swallow, before almost choking on the pungent taste. He watched me give it a wary look before pushing it to the side. The grey haired man sat down next to me cross-legged.

“Sorry, Thalia, I overheard your earlier conversation. It’s hard to believe that someone that we’ve all seen raised from a kittling is unable to remember us.” I heard a catch in his throat and I saw that his grey eyes turned glassy with emotion, before he cleared his throat and looked at me kindly.

“I’m Odin, your chosen godfather, and that young one,” he motioned to Fox Fur, “is Fenri.” Pointing to the others in the camp he named them off; Gotte, Forsk, Hemi, Aldo, and Eviir. I tried to place the names with the faces, but I felt a moment of panic as I realized it wasn’t sinking in. I started to twirl my hair around my finger as I tried to recall each of their names from memory.

“Ahh,” Odin pointed at my finger and hair. “You may have forgotten us, but some things, Thalia, you won’t ever forget. You used to do that as a child.” He smiled in triumph. “You are still our little Faelan, little wolf.” Whereas Joss called me little fish, my clan called me little wolf. I couldn’t escape the stupid nicknames.

“Odin, what happened to me? What happened to me the night I disappeared?”

Odin’s face turned to stone and he quit smiling. “You should ask your father. And not bother an old man with heartache in the retelling.” He started to shut down.

“Please, Papa Odin?” The name just slipped out, and the old warrior looked at me and his eyes became glassy once more as he looked into the night and tried to blink away the tears.

“See, you called me Papa! You’re slowly remembering.” Turning his head he looked to see where Bearen sat, before continuing on. “It was the night of our Hunter's Moon feast. Amidst all of the rejoicing and celebration you had disappeared. We don’t know exactly when, but your father didn’t notice your disappearance until morning, thinking you had stayed the night with your cousin.”

“I have a cousin?”

“Two,” Odin answered. “When we couldn’t find you, your Father sent every warrior out on horseback looking for you. For months we’ve been searching, never giving up hope. We heard of some messengers that were looking for a young girl similar to you, and Bearen decided to investigate. The closer we came to Calandry the more rumors we heard. Your father had every intention of asking the Council for help in finding you, which is a big step, when you know how against council affairs he is. It was just our God’s favor on us that we found you there.”

Looking at the gruff bearded form of my father staring moodily into the fire made me realize that underneath his warrior exterior, there was a kind and loving heart, even if he refused to show it. Getting up, I walked over to Bearen and sat next to him silently.

“It would be best when we get home that you don’t speak of those heathen Denai,” he spoke gruffly. “You will go through a cleansing ceremony and then we will allow some time for you to readjust to being home.” Pulling out a sharp knife he stabbed at another piece of meat that was roasting on the fire and turned it over. “The less you speak of these horrors, the easier it will be for you to resume your old life. I will make excuses to the clan to leave you well enough alone, until you are able to remember your old life.”

“Father?” I spoke hesitantly, letting the word I just spoke sink heavily into the night air. “There’s more, we must speak about what happened to me and what led me to being in the training program at the Citadel.”

“You are strong and will recover; you are my daughter,” he said fiercely.

“No, Father, the Septori… they did something to me when I was captured and I’m no longer the same. I’m different. I’m twisted. I can do things no Denai—” A quick intake of breath between his teeth and a feral gleam in his eyes made me halt any other words I was about to say.

“No daughter of mine would willingly discuss that which we have forbidden,” he growled quietly. “It’s against our laws, and you must promise to never do it again. Do you hear me?” I could see a sense of panic start to ride the wave of his emotions.

All I could do was look down at my hands and nod my head, holding back a sense of hopelessness. Bearen commanded me to get some sleep because we would be leaving come first light. Odin brought me a blanket and I curled by the fire, willing myself to sleep. I lay awake picturing my return to the village and fearing what would happen when they learned I was no longer the same young innocent girl that left months ago, but something that represented everything they hated. Shivering, I felt Faraway try and soothe me and then he sent me a thread of power to make me sleep. I prayed for a dreamless sleep.

Chapter 2

The next morning we woke before sunrise and were on the move again. My back and legs were sore from riding so many hours in the saddle, and I wished for a moment to apply the salve that Mara gave me to my muscles, which was sitting ever so tempting in my saddle bag. But my fellow clansmen were in a hurry and spoke little as they packed and readied to leave.

Once again, I found myself in the middle of the group. When the road became too narrow to pass side by side, Bearen and Fenri rode lead, Forsk scouted ahead, while Hemi, Eviir and Aldo rode rear guard. No one was in the mood for talking so I spent most of the ride silently conversing with Faraway. Odin rode to the side of me whenever the road would allow and he would shoot me little worried glances.

Finally fed up with his worried looks, I decided to confront him. “What is it, Odin?” He looked embarrassed that I caught him.

“You have changed, little one,” He paused, thinking. “What has happened has made you grow up too soon.” Looking at the road ahead he went on, “The bad ones have stolen some of your carefree spirit. Instead you look like you are ready to meet the executioner.”

“I can’t help it, Odin; I’m scared.” Reaching down, I began to rub Faraway, more in an effort to comfort myself than him. “I’m going back to where it all started. I’m hoping that by retracing my steps, it will bring back the memories of what happened that night. Somehow, I disappeared amidst friends, family and all of my clansmen and no one saw anything.” Letting out a deep sigh I looked intently at Odin and let all of the fear and anxiety I was trying to hide show in my face. Lowering my voice, I whispered, “What if it happens again?”

“We will be prepared this time, Thalia.” He sat up straighter on his horse, slapping a closed fist against his breast. “No one will steal one of the daughters of the Valdyrstal clan again.” His eyes shone bright at the thought of battle. “They will taste our blades and wish for a swift death, but will be granted a long and painful one.”

I shuddered at the bloodlust that was evident in Odin’s eyes. The clan’s ruthlessness and protective spirit was probably why the Septori had not taken any children before me. I wondered what had changed. Thankfully the path we were traveling on narrowed and he had to drop back to follow behind me. I let my mind wander and settle on Joss, his crooked grin, sandy blonde windblown hair and blue green eyes deep with emotion, and my heart sang with joy before plummeting in shame.

I felt a pang of guilt at leaving the way I did, but I knew that I couldn’t fully open up to Joss unless I knew more about myself. I owed Joss more. I knew deep down I wasn’t being fair to Joss.

Kael’s stern face slowly formed in my mind and I tried to blink it away, tried to think of anything else. But Kael fighting his way out of the prison flashed through my mind, and then Joss appeared again bandaging my head.
 
My own mind did a review of all of my encounters with Joss and Kael: Joss holding my hand during my bone setting; Kael fighting off a pack of mad dogs; Joss arguing with Healer Prentiss on my behalf; Kael killing the assassin; Joss stubbornly guarding me while I slept. Back and forth each scene played out and I felt more conflicted about Kael and Joss.
 

And then a thought hit me and I almost pulled Faraway to a standstill as the enormity of what I was doing sank in. I was running away. I was running as far as I could from all of the conflicting emotions.

My hands trembled as I realized, in some crazy way, I had some feelings for Kael as well. Joss was handsome, caring and safe, while Kael was striking, insensitive and spiteful.

What was I thinking? I mentally berated myself. I hated Kael. He did everything he could to make me hate him. Maybe that was why. Maybe my heart knew that he was trying to make me hate him, so instead I pitied him and cared for him. The emotions I felt were only compassion for an uncaring vagrant warrior. Right? That, as of right now, I would focus on what was good for me. When I discovered more about myself, I would somehow go back to the Citadel and be with Joss.

I must have spent a good hour debating with myself about my feelings; I had completely forgotten where I was. The sun began to go down and the woods we were traveling through became more sinister. We were passing through a mountain pass. Faraway stopped moving, his withers twitching in nervousness. Glancing around, I opened my mind to him.

What’s the matter?

Bad smell all around us.

Not waiting anymore, he opened himself up to me and I could sense what he smelled. He was right; it was bad.

This was no longer the Citadel’s arena; this wasn’t a practice game where I couldn’t get injured. This was real. I closed my eyes and pushed my senses deep into the forest searching, something Professor Weston taught me.

I jumped when I sensed men on all sides slowly pressing in. We were surrounded. My heart started to pump nervously as I looked around. Odin and the others had stopped when Faraway stopped, the trail too thin for them to pass around me. Ahead of me, Bearen and Fenri paused and stared back at me questioningly.

A quick mental command to Faraway and he began to dance about a bit. Steeling my voice to sound sure and not scared, I called out loudly, “My horse has gone lame, I need help.” Bearen carefully turned his horse and rode back to me, leaning down to look at Faraway’s flank.
 

“Bearen, there’s no time,” I whispered urgently. “There are men in the woods and we are surrounded.”

“Nonsense. You must be imagining things.” He looked at me intently. “Forsk would have seen them. He would have warned us.”

Quickly, I closed my eyes and scanned ahead past the men that had stopped and were quietly moving into position around us. I grabbed my head as the sight of bushes and leaves rushed past my vision, making me dizzy, praying and hoping that I was wrong. It took me a second, but my fears were confirmed as I saw Forsk’s body in a ditch farther up.
 
He was sixty meters off of the path in the woods, laying facedown with arrows protruding from his body.
 
His body position suggested he’d found the men and had tried to run back to warn us before being shot down.

Tears formed in my eyes as I looked at Bearen, begging him to believe me as I whispered vehemently to him, “Forsk is dead.”

Bearen paled. “How, do you—?”

I cut him off with a wave of my hand, “Bearen, if you don’t do something, we’ll all be dead.” I glanced over his shoulder to the woods behind him. “Please, you must believe me,” I begged. “They’re almost here.”

Bearen’s jaw clenched as he battled inner doubt. If he chose to believe me and armed the men then he would be affirming his worst fears. If he chose to ignore me, he could go on believing I was still his innocent daughter but he could lose more lives. He was taking too long.

Jumping off of Faraway, I confronted him, “We don’t have time. You must decide but either way I will not sit idle and wait to die.” Storming over to Odin, I reached behind him to pull his sword from the sheath strapped to his horse.

“Odin, we are about to be attacked; warn the men.” Odin stilled, cocked his head and listened, before giving me a short nod, and riding back to warn the men. Walking back to my horse, I kneeled and rubbed Faraway’s leg as he made a big show of pretending to be lame. I would have smiled if the situation weren’t so dire.

Fenri came to me on foot, leading his horse. Stopping, he pulled his horse in behind me and gave a curt command to his horse to stand firm, making me a living shield out of horseflesh. Sliding his sword and small axe from the saddle pack, he kept it low behind the horse. I watched as the rest of the men slowly moved into defensive positions, acting casually as if we all had stopped to take care of a lame horse. Most cast furtive looks at the woods around them as they silently prepared for battle.