The Untamable Rogue (7 page)

T
he Sinti summer
camp lay in a blooming meadow by a winding stream. I had now been with the travellers for more than a week, and although most people kept out of my way, I felt happy. It was the freedom that fascinated me and the carefreeness. On the camp everyone seemed to do as they wished: now that no distance needed to be covered each person arranged his daily routine as he pleased. I had occupied myself during the last few days helping Grandmother Aneta. Together we gathered herbs, prepared ointments and tinctures, and stole wild honey from the bees. I liked these tasks and I learnt eagerly which herb helped with gout and which one reduced a fever. In this way I was also distracting myself from thinking about Ivo. Since our night time confrontation I had, to my relief, not seen him. He was abiding by his father’s decree and keeping away from the camp. I also made sure that I did not go near the area in which his waggon stood. Nothing in the world could make me want another confrontation with him. However, I could not help my thoughts wandering to him when I was not occupied, nor him slipping into my dreams at night.

Sergio continued to make a great deal of effort as my suitor. He brought me flowers and little gifts, showed me the area and talked to me about the clan and its way of life. I was fascinated by it all. I began to envy these people their free life. They had no grand houses or estates, but they also had less to lose. Their home was always with them and their land was everywhere and nowhere.

In contrast, how oppressive my own responsibility seemed to me. Certainly, I loved Blue Hall with its servants and extensive lands, yet I wondered what it would be like to simply give all of that up to live a simple life. My greedy uncle would be very happy to hear that, and it was precisely that thought that pulled me back down to earth. – No! I would not simply hand over my inheritance to this scrounger! Never! As happy as I felt here with these simple-living people, my place was elsewhere. I was the mistress of Blue Hall and I had a responsibility to all the people to whom my family’s estate and businesses had given work and a place to live. This here was not my life.

As romantic as it seemed to me at the moment, the Sinti had hardly any rights and they were often accused of things that they had not committed simply because they were
gypsies
.
Through Sergio I had by now learnt enough to recognise the negative side of the apparently free life. No, this was not my place. Blue Hall was my home and I would not simply give up the estate and the businesses that my father had worked so hard for. However, for as long as I could not avail myself of my inheritance, I would enjoy the hospitality of the Sinti, and once I was in possession of my wealth I would show my gratitude for the help that these people had bestowed upon me.

“Are you dreaming, girl?” Grandmother Aneta’s voice pulled me from my ruminations.

Guiltily I looked up into the old woman’s wrinkled face. I got up and straightened out my skirts, embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, Grandmother, I was just thinking about … my home.”

I suddenly had a lump in my throat and a few tears rolled over my cheeks.

Grandmother Aneta bent down and felt for the herbs that I had collected in my basket. She took a little out and held it to her nose. Her expression brightened as she breathed in the aromatic smell.

“Ah, you’ve found some. – Sage is very rare in this area. Too little sun. Did you leave some there so that it can multiply?”

“Yes, I did. A third, as you told me.”

“Well done, my child. Now come, we still need comfrey and I know where we can find some.”

We walked along the bank of the stream and crossed it at a level spot where two large, flat stones in the water made it possible to cross safely – importantly, they were dry to step on. Grandmother Aneta seemed to know the spot very well as her feet found the stones with no problem and in three confident steps she was on the other bank. I walked behind her with the basket. On this side of the stream the land rose steeply for a good six feet. The slope was covered in blackberries and undergrowth, but there was a trodden path to the top. I was amazed at how light-footedly the old, blind woman climbed the rise.

“We have to go to the group of trees over there,” said Grandmother Aneta when we reached the top.

I looked to where she was pointing. It was still quite some distance away, the ground was rising and it was a little rough. I admired the stamina that Grandmother Aneta possessed despite her great age. She really was a tough person equipped with a resolute spirit.

“Come on, girl. We don’t want to dawdle,” said the old woman, and I had to smile. Yes, she was an incredible person!

When we had gone a little way Grandmother Aneta suddenly groaned and held her hand to her chest.

“What’s wrong with you, Grandmother?” I asked, worried. The exertion had clearly been too much for her after all.

“My old heart, child. Let me rest here a while. Go to the group of trees and there you’ll find comfrey, a plant with big, long, hairy leaves. Dig out a few of the black roots but don’t damage the rest, and fill in the hole that you dig afterwards. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Grandmother. I’ll fetch the roots. Rest here a little. – But can I really leave you here alone?”

I did not have a good feeling and I was very worried. I liked the old lady and I would miss her dearly if she …

I could not bear to think about it.

“Perhaps, another time, we should …” I began.

“No, I’m OK again. Go now!” she interrupted me.

She sat down on a fallen tree trunk and waved me away. I looked at her doubtfully, torn between wanting to follow her wish and the bad feeling I had about leaving her alone.

“Now, go. I’m fine now.”

Sighing, I set off.

The closer I got to my goal, the more clearly I could see that someone was sitting in the grass, leaning against a tree trunk. With a sickening feeling I went a little closer. The person had not noticed me yet – the head was lowered and the brim of the brown cap was covering the person’s face. It was a man who seemed to be making a nap in the shade of the tree.

I stopped, indecisive. What should I do now? Grandmother Aneta was expecting me to bring her the roots, but I felt a little trepidation rise within me. Who could know what sort of a man this was? He may do something to me. I looked at him, dubious. Somehow he looked familiar to me. Perhaps it was one of the Sinti from the camp. A slight hunch crept into my mind that made my heart race frantically. – Could it be Ivo? The stature fitted, and the cap hid his face and hair. I was too far away to be sure that it was not him. With weak knees I quietly went closer and paused behind a hazel-bush that came up to my chest. Now that I was only a few yards away I was fairly certain that the sleeping man was Ivo. What should I do now? I really did not want to come into contact with him now. Why did he have to take a nap right here? I felt thoroughly sick with anxiety. I began to shake and I had to kneel down so that I did not lose my balance.

“Why are you creeping around again like a thief?” he suddenly asked. “Do you want more after all?”

I started with shock and uttered a small cry. I had been so sure that he was asleep and had not noticed me.

The man raised his head and pushed the cap out of his face. Yes, it was indeed Ivo looking at me in his particular, unabashed way from his black, unfathomable eyes.

A blush of embarrassment shot into my face and I was tempted to duck down behind the hazel-bush and hide – which, of course, made no sense now. I so very much wished for a hole in which to disappear right now, so embarrassing was that recent meeting. My mouth felt unpleasantly dry and I desperately looked for the right words.

“I … for Grandmother Aneta I’m to … roots, err I’m to fetch comfrey,” I stammered with embarrassment.

Unconcerned Ivo looked to his side where the plants that Grandmother Aneta had described were growing plentifully.

“So come here and fetch them – your roots,” he said derisively. “Or are you afraid that I could finish what we recently started?” There was a dangerous sparkle in his dark eyes.

I nervously pushed a strand of my blond hair out of my face. I was behaving really foolishly. I was standing there as timid as a deer just because his presence made my heart race so much that I was afraid that he might hear it.

‘Pull yourself together, Graham! You’re making yourself look ridiculous. Fetch the damned roots and then leave!’
I chided myself.

Decisively I stepped from behind the hazel-bush, walked with trembling knees to the place where the comfrey was growing and began to dig for the roots, my face completely red. I was fully aware of Ivo’s penetrating look and a tingle rose up through my body. Hopefully he could not see the state I was in. Were my nipples showing through my clothing? I felt that I was getting redder if that was even possible. I could not understand this bizarre attraction that he awakened in me. Not only was he far below my standing, he was also boorish and frightening. His entire aura signalled danger and yet I felt like a child who, in fascination, was reaching out to touch fire despite knowing that it was forbidden. Had he not shown me clearly enough that it was advisable to keep out of his way? He had taught me a lesson and yet I did not seem to have learnt anything from it. He was actually the exact opposite of what I had always dreamed of in a husband. He was neither a gentleman, nor was he gentle. Never before had I met a man who had earned the name
Devil
more than him.

I worked with determination so that I could escape the bewildering proximity of the gypsy as quickly as possible. Who knew what else could happen if I stayed here any longer. He could act upon his threat and carry on there where he had last stopped. The thought alone made my blood heat and my sex pulsate expectantly – yet another reason to flee as quickly as possible from his domain.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my arm and I froze immediately. With my breath held, I waited to see what would happen, whilst my thoughts wandered to our last confrontation and Ivo’s passionate kiss. Fear and arousal fought within me. I felt as if I were about to faint, I was so very giddy. I was filled with panic. I was not to allow that to happen again under any circumstances! I never again wanted to lose control in such a way.

“No!” I gasped finally, as Ivo tried to pull me to him. “Please don’t!”

“But you want it! You’re no different from the other women.”

I looked at him aghast, then smacked him hard in the face. With his remark he had brought me back to reality and that had made it easier for me to react.

“How dare you! Let me go at once!” I shouted at him. How could he speak to me as if I were a common whore.

‘
Because you’re acting like one!’

Ivo showed no expression as he held my arms and held them behind my back. He had far too much strength for me to be able to release myself from his grasp. He pressed his mouth hard against my lips. He was rough, just like the last time and his stubble scratched my sensitive skin. In desperation I tried to defend myself but his grasp was too firm.

‘Not again! This time he definitely won’t let me go, but will simply take what he wants.’

This thought aroused me against my will and a sweet weakness overcame me. Contradictory emotions fought within me: fear and arousal, reason and curiosity.

Suddenly he let go of me and his dark eyes sparkled dangerously.

I swallowed. A tear came from my eye and rolled over my cheek.

Ivo smiled cynically.

“You’re nothing special. I can get one like you anywhere. Take your roots and go!”

I felt as if I had been knocked for six. For the second time he was pushing me away from him. Nervously I sorted out my clothing and gathered up the rest of the roots, throwing them hastily into the basket. I forgot Grandmother Aneta’s instructions about filling the hole again and jumped up quickly, took hold of the basket and ran away. I did not look back. Never in my life had I felt so humiliated!

I ran. Tears of shame and anger filled my eyes and blurred my vision. A few times I nearly stumbled but I did not slow my speed until I got near Grandmother Aneta. I only hoped that the old woman would not notice anything different about me and would ask no questions. Right now I really did not feel like answering questions. I took a deep breath and tried to stop crying.

Grandmother Aneta was still sitting where I had left her. She had laid her hands in her lap and closed her eyes. She sat so still that I thought for a horrible second that she was dead. But then she turned her head in my direction.

“Is that you, Liz?!

“Yes, grandmother,” I answered, and I was cross that my voice was trembling. The old woman would definitely realise that there was something wrong.

“Do you have the roots, my child?” she asked, without any sign that she had noticed anything wrong with me.

“Yes, I found them. It wasn’t hard.”

“Good, my child. Let’s go back to the camp,” said Grandmother Aneta, getting up from where she had been sitting.

Lost in thought I walked next to Grandmother Aneta. The meeting with Ivo had really churned me up. I wanted to hate him for the way he had treated me but instead of that I felt a strange yearning that did not make sense. I wondered again what had made him into the man he was. Something must have led him to treat women like this. But if there was a soft core beneath the hard shell then it was very well hidden. Even his eyes were cold and unforgiving. The passion that I had briefly seen in them had nothing gentle about it. Even his caresses had something about them that was more punitive than loving. 

“Sometimes it’s worth taking on pain in order to achieve something that lies hidden,” said Grandmother Aneta suddenly.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, my heart pounding. I had the feeling that the old woman knew exactly what had happened. She seemed to know even more about it than I did.