The Vampire Blog (5 page)

Oh no, she blew over to Joel and me at the end of break like a mad tornado. ‘Howlett, you've got the IQ of a plankton,' she cried.

‘As high as that!' I cried. ‘Oh, thanks.'

‘That dare was nothing to do with you, but you had to interfere and try and be funny, didn't you?'

‘You didn't like the slurp, slurp bit then?' I said.

‘I didn't like any of it,' she cried.

‘If I might just interject here,' said Joel. But Tallulah squelched him with a glare. ‘Or maybe I'll just stay quiet,' he murmured.

‘Because of your act of sabotage,' went on Tallulah, ‘all members of M.I.S. have got to do another dare.'

‘Oh, have we?' murmured Joel unenthusiastically.

‘Yes we have,' said Tallulah.

‘I think sabotage is a bit strong,' I said.

‘Nowhere near as strong as a word I'd like to use,' she said.

I said, ‘Look, Tallulah, I'm sorry you think I sabotaged your dare, and right now, if I could, I'd make myself invisible.'

‘Do it anyway,' said Tallulah. Then she added, ‘You don't take anything seriously, but M.I.S. is not to be laughed at, ever.'

As she swept off Joel murmured, ‘Isn't she marvellous?'

4.30 p.m.

Now here's a weird thing. When I got home both my parents were waiting for me. But that's not the weird thing yet. No, I'm just building up to that.

They asked me how I was feeling and looked distinctly crestfallen when I said, ‘Never better.' They were certain I'd have had some mad cravings by now. Then they asked about my day. So I handed them this letter from Mr Townley saying
what a thoroughly naughty boy I'd been.

And normally my parents would have freaked out at receiving a letter like that. But – and here's the weird thing at last – they weren't bothered at all. Well, not when they found out what I'd done in assembly.

‘You heard your friends say: “Mr Townley, I want to drink your blood!” and you just had to join in,' said Dad, with pride throbbing in his voice. ‘Well, I suppose that's understandable. You are a half-vampire.'

And there was Mum smiling away too. But that wasn't why I'd joined in. I saw some pupils fooling about and so I had to support them. It was just a laugh and nothing to do with my vampire side bursting through.

4.35 p.m.

Nothing at all. Just like to make that really clear.

4.45 p.m.

Mum said to me, ‘So what would you like for tea, Ved?'

‘Who are you talking to?' I asked.

‘You, of course,' said Mum.

‘But my name's Marcus.'

‘I'm using your other name – your true name.' And then she said it again really softly: ‘Ved.'

‘Mum, you really can't do this, you know. After thirteen years of having one name, you can't suddenly give me another one. That's just going to leave me seriously confused. In fact, there's probably a law against it.'

‘We wait until your thirteenth birthday to tell you your wonderful secret,' said Mum. ‘As that's when we think you're ready to appreciate this news. And it would make your father and me very happy if you would now call yourself by your real name at night, and embrace your destiny,' she said.

‘Marcus is my real name,' I said firmly. ‘If you really wanted, you could call me Marcus Ved, or Marcus Von Ved – now that's got a certain ring to it, hasn't it?'

Mum just frowned in reply.

10.30 p.m.

‘I am not – nor ever will be – Ved.'

I shall fall asleep chanting that again tonight.

Saturday 6 October
9.05 a.m.

It seems to be working. Not a glimmer of a craving. Result, or what?

10.15 p.m.

Tonight Mum said, ‘I've got something to show you, Ved.' (Yeah, she and Dad are still pushing that creepy name.) Then she got out her certificate for French A Level. Grade A too.

‘Yeah. Great, Mum, but you have let me see it about ninety-four times before. Not that I'm saying you're a show-off or anything.'

‘Yes,' she said, ‘but did you ever wonder when I found time to study for this exam?'

‘Truly, Mum, I never did.'

‘It was at night. So while you and millions of other people slept, my half-vampire powers meant I could stay awake and alert for three hours longer than any ordinary human. I'm using my time to study Italian now.'

‘I had noticed,' I said, ‘how you two seemed to come to bed very late.'

‘And soon,' said Dad, ‘you needn't go to bed at a normal time either. While all your class-mates are tucked up for the night, you'll be able to stay up with your mother and me until two o'clock in the morning.'

‘And even later than that at weekends,' said Mum.

‘Wow,' I said. ‘So while most children only have to hang out with their parents during the day, I'll be able to stay up half the night with you as well.' I shook my head. ‘My friends would be so jealous if they knew.'

Sunday 7 October
10.15 a.m.

Still no sign of any cravings! And the bad breath and the fang now seem far away. In fact, I feel sort of normal again.

7.05 p.m.

Tonight, a surprise visitor! My nan. My parents acted all surprised when they saw her, but I knew at once they'd sent for her.

Now, my mum and dad don't really get me. To them I'm just an idiot. And I know they'resecretly
a bit ashamed of me. But Nan (my dad's mum) is different. She thinks I'm all right. You can have a laugh with her too. She sat opposite me in one of her gaudy shawls and wearing bright red lipstick as usual. (One of Nan's words of wisdom: ‘People always notice you if you're wearing red lipstick.')

‘So come on then, Marcus, why are you being such a big nuisance?' she demanded tonight.

‘Me? I'm very hurt now,' I said.

She smiled. ‘And you never guessed anything before your thirteenth birthday?'

‘Not a thing.'

‘Well, we're pretty good at keeping secrets. We have to be when it's right at the heart of our lives. And it's an incredible secret, isn't it?'

‘You could say that,' I said. Then I lowered my voice. ‘I'm not cut out to be a half-vampire.'

‘Nonsense,' she said. ‘But right now, you're very scared.' I shook my head vigorously. ‘Life's not easy for any thirteen-year-old, as I know,' she continued. ‘Yes, I can still
remember that far back.' We both sort of relaxed and smiled a bit then. ‘So teenagers cover up their fears with a lot of cheek and bravado – just like you do.'

‘But not many thirteen-year-olds are facing all this stuff,' I said.

‘No, they're not,' she agreed. ‘Do you know the first thing I did when I heard I was a half-vampire?'

‘No.'

‘I was so shocked and ashamed I ran away. I jumped on a train actually.'

‘I had no idea trains had been invented way back then – that's a joke, by the way. So where did you end up?'

‘Oh, somewhere very strange. I didn't have enough money to go home either. So I had to call my parents to come and get me.'

‘I bet they were mad,' I said.

‘Yes, but they weren't as angry as I expected. They could see why I wanted to run away from it. But that's not the answer. Change is a fact of everyone's life. It's just that our changes are a bit more extreme than most. But, Ved, it's worth it, because there's far more to you than you realize. There really
is magic inside you.' She paused. I'd been listening to her really intently. But then she spoiled it all by adding the killer words, ‘So come on, Ved, embrace your destiny.'

Not only had she used that horrible name – twice! – but also that's
exactly
what Mum had said: ‘Embrace your destiny.' I'm surprised they don't give me a T-shirt with that written on it. But what if you've no intention of embracing your so-called destiny?

So I shook my head and said, ‘Good try, Nan, but sorry, no sale.'

10.15 p.m.

Feel more alone than ever tonight, blog. OK, I come from a family of crazies. But that doesn't mean I have to join them.

Nan says: ‘There's magic inside you.' What magic? I can stay up late and sit some extra exams. Wow! Spellbinding stuff. And that's the only benefit of being a half-vampire that I can see, while there are tons and tons of drawbacks. Sorry, Nan, I'm chanting ‘I am not Ved' even longer tonight.

Monday 8 October
8.30 a.m.

Still no cravings! Hooray!

4.15 p.m.

We've just had our after-school assembly with Townley.

He said, ‘Today I've discovered that the appalling behaviour in Friday's assembly was the result of a club: the Monster Club, I believe it's called.'

‘No, all wrong,' muttered Tallulah.

‘Well, I'm telling you,' said Townley, his voice rising, ‘that this club stops right now, and anyone still belonging to
it at school will face serious consequences.' Tallulah whispered, ‘So now we've got to go underground. Excellent.'

And quite suddenly I grinned. Not for any special reason. I just needed the exercise, I suppose. Only Townley saw me.

‘Marcus Howlett,' he screamed. ‘Why are you smiling?'

‘I'm just enjoying your assembly,' I said. ‘One of the best yet. In fact, it's really set me up for the evening.'

Townley didn't know how to react to this. So he waggled his fingers at me and said, ‘There are things I will not tolerate. And top of the list is rudeness.'

I stared at him. But I hadn't been rude. A tiny bit sarcastic, perhaps, but not rude.

‘I shall be watching you,' Townley went on, while glaring very hard at me. ‘I shall be watching you very closely.'

5.20 p.m.

Always when I get home Mum's around. So I was really surprised to find the house empty tonight.

Then I heard a noise in the sitting room. ‘Hi,' I called.

No answer.

I barged into the sitting room and got a massive shock. A boy who I'd never seen before was sitting all relaxed and comfortable on our sofa.

‘So who are you?' I asked. ‘A very lazy burglar?'

‘Heard you were a bit of a joker,' said the boy, grinning as he slowly got to his feet. He looked about seventeen, rather scrawny but oozing confidence. He was like a little sparrow strutting about. Only he had jet-black hair and pale staring eyes.

‘I'm Karl – Karl with a K not a C, just to clear that up right away.'

‘And perhaps you'd also clear up just what you're doing in my house, Karl with a K?'

‘Good, like your spirit. It shows potential,' he added approvingly. ‘You don't recognize me, do you?'

‘I really don't.'

‘I'm your second cousin; we met years and years ago at a wedding but only for a few seconds. Anyway, your parents asked me to
swing by. I hear you're having a few problems about being a vamp. That's what I call us half-vampires: vamps.'

‘And you're a vamp?'

‘Crossed over four years ago,' said Karl, giving a little bow. ‘I just loved every moment of it. Especially. … well, no one in my class could work out why I suddenly wasn't wearing glasses any more.'

‘Never heard of contact lenses, had they?' I said.

‘My sight just improved so much when I became a half-vampire. In fact, I've probably ended up with the best eyesight of anyone in my school.' Then he gave me the most patronizing smile you've ever seen and said, ‘But you're feeling a bit nervous about it all, aren't you? Well, your worries are over because I'm here to help you. First of all, you've got to chill out. And remember, you will never have such an amazing thing happen to you again. So just relax and let out your vamp side, and one day soon you could be exactly like me.'

I tried to look suitably excited at this prospect.

‘Your mum and dad have told you about other benefits of being half-vampire: like we only need four or five hours' sleep at night. So at two in the morning I'm still buzzing. But I understand you're worried about the cravings.'

‘Well, yeah,' I admitted. ‘It sounds … messy.'

‘And I won't lie to you,' said Karl. ‘Cravings can be messy.' He lowered his voice. ‘With me it was butchers' shops. Bit of an unusual one, that. And I made a tiny idiot of myself.' He smiled. ‘I even got myself banned from my local butcher's shop. But people forget. Well, the butcher still gives me a few funny looks whenever he sees me, but he's very easily frightened.' He grinned at me. ‘So have I reassured you?'

‘Oh yeah, massively,' I said sarcastically.

‘Hey, I told your parents I could sort you out. And here's some more good news. Your mum and dad want us to hang around together, hoping you'll pick up some of my vamp skills, I suppose.' He tried to laugh modestly. ‘So that's brilliant, isn't it?'