Thirty-Four and a Half Predicaments: Rose Gardner Mystery #7 (10 page)

He looked down at me, a war waging in his eyes. Finally he said, “Let me check my schedule and call my uncle. Maybe we can go away this weekend. It’s not as good as having a full week, but I’d rather get you all alone sooner rather than later.”

“That sounds wonderful.” I kissed him and ran my hands down his back and to his butt.

He groaned against my lips. “You make it very difficult for me to get out of bed.”

“Then I’m doing my job.”

He laughed. “Speaking of jobs, I need to start getting ready for work. Otherwise we’ll be able to live at my uncle’s cabin since I’ll be unemployed.”

“My previous job offer still stands.”

He slid out of bed and tugged me with him to the bathroom. “Last I heard, your job offer involved me digging up plants while shirtless. If I’m thinking of applying, I’d better start working out.” He winked as he turned on the shower water.

I placed my hands on his chest, taking in the sight of his naked body. “You don’t need to do a thing. You’re absolutely perfect.”

He grinned and gave me another long, slow kiss. “Your job offer’s sounding better and better.”

I laughed and he pulled me into the water with him.

After we got out of the shower, I got dressed while Mason stood in front of the mirror, shaving.

“What do you have planned for the day?” he asked.

“I have two appointments set up for landscaping consultations. I’m thinkin’ about calling Neely Kate to see if she’ll come with me.”

“That’s a good idea. But after yesterday’s event, I think I should take my own car. Do you think she’ll have any trouble climbing into your truck?”

“We’ll manage. But I’m worried about
you
driving your car.”

“I’m going to talk to Joe again later, but you better be sure to
call me
if you have any trouble.”

I didn’t answer and hoped he didn’t notice. Instead, I pulled Dora’s journal out of my underwear drawer, fingering the worn edges of the leather cover.

Mason walked into the bedroom and pulled a shirt out of the closet. He glanced over his shoulder as he slipped it on. He saw the book in my hand and gave me a questioning glance.

I smiled. “Neely Kate is dying to know more about Dora, so I thought I’d take it with me and we could look at it together. It might give her something else to dwell on besides her miscarriage.”

His gaze was troubled when his eyes met mine. “Rose, I know you want to know more about your birth mother, but be careful how deep you dig.”

I stiffened. “What makes you say that?”

He walked over to me and set his hands on my shoulders. “I know the woman who raised you was a sadistic witch, so it’s only natural that you see your birth mother as the perfect mother who was stolen from you. All I’m saying is that no matter what you find, it might not match up to the fantasy you’ve created.” He pulled back and held my gaze. “You’ve had enough disappointment and pain in your life. I don’t want you to endure any more. So just be careful, okay?”

What did Mason know that he wasn’t telling me? I decided now was the time to press him. “You said you’d reopen her case when you had time. Have you done it yet?”

He hesitated. “Yes, but barely.” He held up his hands in surrender. “And before you lambast me for not telling you, I’d like to state my defense.”

“Okay.”

He looked surprised by the lack of anger in my voice, but he forged on. “I know how important it is to you, but I can only justify working on it in my spare moments, which we both know are few and far between. I didn’t want to get your hopes up before finding some real information, and sadly I only have the basics at this point. Mostly her employment history and not much else.”

“It’s okay.”

“Really?” he asked in surprise.

“Yeah.” I rubbed his chest with my fingertips. “I know how relentless I can be when I want something.”

A grin lit up his eyes. “Like a bulldog.”

I twisted my lips and gave him a dirty look. “All I ask is that you tell me the truth about what you find, okay? Even if you think it’s not what I want to hear.”

He studied me for a moment and said softly, “Deal.” He glanced down at the book, then back at me. “When things settle down, would you let me go through her journal to see if there’s anything I can use?”

“Of course.”

He finished getting dressed, then checked the time on his phone. “No time for breakfast with you today, sweetheart. I’ll be lucky if I’m not late for a meeting as it is.”

“That’s okay. I need to head to town soon too.”

I followed him downstairs and grabbed my coat to take Muffy out so I could walk Mason to his car. She trailed after us, taking off barking to chase a squirrel up a tree.

I cast a quick glance at her as I debated bringing her with me today, but I hated to leave her in the truck while I was talking to potential clients. Her barking was distracting for one thing, but more importantly, I hated leaving her cooped up. The temperature was supposed to be in the upper forties, so she’d be perfectly safe, but I always felt bad when she watched me through the window with that universal dog look that said
how could you leave me in here?

Mason opened his car door. “I’m not sure when I can get away to open our joint bank account.”

“Oh.” After all the fuss last night, I’d forgotten about the whole credit card fiasco. “Okay.”

He rested his arm across the top of the door. “Do you want to go by this afternoon and start setting it up?”

I was pretty sure this afternoon wouldn’t be an issue; after all, I wasn’t supposed to meet Skeeter until later that night. I still hadn’t figured out how to get away for our meeting, but I’d deal with one problem at a time. And the current one made me slightly less anxious. “Seein’ how you’re the one funding the account, I’d rather wait and go with you.”

“I understand.” He pulled out his wallet and handed me his debit card. “Here. If you need money, you should be safe enough getting cash from an ATM.”

“Thank you.” I took it from him, then pressed my hand to his chest. I stared into his eyes for a long moment before giving him a kiss, overcome with the knowledge of how very lucky I was. The idea of the checking account still made me uncomfortable, but I told myself I wasn’t taking advantage of him, and if our roles were reversed, I’d do the same for him. As he drove away, I pushed aside my guilt and embarrassment and pulled out my phone, hoping Neely Kate would pick up. She’d been screening her calls a lot lately.

I was happy when she answered, but her tone was dull and lifeless again. “Hey, Rose.”

“Hey, Neely Kate. What did Ronnie say about your hair?”

“He liked it.”

“Well that’s good, right?” When she didn’t answer, I pushed on. “I have a couple of landscaping consultations today, and I thought you might want to come with me.”

“I don’t know…”

“It would be really helpful if you could help with some of the consultations I have this spring and summer. Bruce Wayne flat out refuses and I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle them all myself.” Perhaps it was underhanded of me to take the guilt trip route, but I was sure what Neely Kate needed right now was fresh air and interaction with other people. She thrived off social situations, so being locked up alone in her house had to be hurting rather than helping.

“I guess I could come. But I have a doctor’s appointment at three.”

Relief washed through me. “We can make that work. I won’t be there for another hour to pick you up. Is that enough time for you to get ready?” If Neely Kate had to wash her hair, I knew it would take her a minimum of an hour to wash, dry, and style it.

“Yeah.”

She hung up, not sounding too excited by the proposition. I swallowed my disappointment. But she’d agreed to go with me, so I told myself to find happiness in that small victory. This was probably going to be a long battle.

Muffy was taking her sweet time, so I called Bruce Wayne to check on him and remind him about my appointments.

“I’m taking Neely Kate with me,” I added.

“And she agreed to go?”

“Reluctantly.”

“I hate seeing her so sad,” Bruce Wayne said. “I sure wish we could make her feel better.”

“It’s just gonna take some time. Probably lots of it.”

Muffy finished her business—which included sniffing the ground like she was a bloodhound, especially around the front bushes—and we went inside to get to work.

After I poured a cup of coffee, I sat at the table with the journal and a pad of paper and a pen. There were probably answers in these pages, answers to questions I had avoided asking for too long. But now I was ready for the truth, as hard as it might be to face. Running away from the possibility of something ugly in my birth mother’s past wouldn’t make it any less true.

I started at the beginning.

I’d already read about how she started the journal as a high school project. She wrote about school, boyfriends and friends, usually referring to people by their initials rather than their full names. Her best friend was H, but they also hung out with BM (unfortunate girl) and A. After flipping through the journal for a minute, I got to Dora’s time at community college. She had several boyfriends—all disastrous relationships—who occupied her time. But her world fell apart when her grandmother died. She had already lost her parents when she was five and her grandfather when she was fourteen. She had no siblings or extended family. Her greatest fear was being alone.

I’ve prepared myself for this day for practically my entire life, but now that it’s happened, I can barely breathe. I go into Grandma’s room and lie down on her bed, trying to breathe in what’s left of her lavender perfume. Because as long as I can still smell her, I can pretend she’s here with me. When it’s finally gone, I’ll truly be alone.

She then wrote about her money troubles. Her grandmother had a Social Security income that ended at her death, leaving Dora destitute. She sold off her beloved horses to make ends meet and took off for Shreveport for a few years until she moved back to the farm, heartbroken after her latest breakup. Her friend BM told her about a job at Atchison Manufacturing.

She didn’t write much about the job except to say her boss was a kind man who sensed how alone she felt in the world. She had stopped dating, despite her loneliness, because she’d fallen into a deep depression.

In December of 1985 she talked about a man she only referred to as ‘he’ and ‘him.’ He was married and older than she was, and she made vague references to seeing him at work and avoiding each other as much as possible to avoid suspicion. They had a brief, heated fling. She knew it was wrong, but she felt like she finally had a purpose for living.

That passage caught my breath. As far as I knew, Daddy had always worked for the lumberyard. Did that mean he wasn’t the man she had an affair with? Did that mean he wasn’t my father?

I sucked in a breath and pushed on. In January she wrote:

He noticed how upset I was and one thing led to another. I’m horrified. I knew how he felt and I took advantage of that. Now what will I do?

She wrote a single entry in February.

How can something so wonderful be so terrifying at the same time? It’s so wrong, yet I’ve never wanted something so much. Finally, I’ll have someone to love, someone who will never leave me. Finally, I will have the family I’ve always dreamed of with my own precious baby.

Her entries were sporadic after that, with no mention of my father other than her desperation to keep her pregnancy a secret from everyone for fear the baby’s father would find out and try to convince her to abort.

In April she wrote an entry that confused me.

He’s shown more interest than I expected, and I’m finding him difficult to manage. He’s a man I can’t deny and it scares me.

Who was she talking about? Daddy? I’d never seen him be forceful with anyone. It was also hard to tell whether the man she wrote about scared her, or if her feelings for him were what frightened her.

In June she wrote about trouble at work.

I find myself caught in the middle of something that has accidently landed in my lap. I can choose to look away or I can do the right thing, but what is the right thing? I only know I must protect my baby.

How had I missed these entries before?

There were more entries about the farm and her pregnancy; then in July she mentioned Daddy.

H has found out about the mess I’m in and has offered to help me find a way out. While I’m grateful, I can’t screw up his life any more than I already have. What am I to do?

What did that mean? Was Daddy her lover from the previous winter? Or could she have been referring to something else?

In the beginning of August, I found the first entry that explicitly mentioned her boss’s name.

Henry is obstinate in his belief that all is well, but the books continue to prove otherwise. Money is disappearing. He’s cold and evasive when I press the matter. He’s told me that he’s doing this for me just as much as he is for himself.

Why would her boss be doing something for them both that involved missing money? I told myself not to think the worst. The rest of the entries in August were about getting ready for my birth and Daddy.

I’ve told H that he must think things through carefully. There is his toddler to think about, as well as his wife. He says that he loves me, but things are complicated.

Then a week later, Dora wrote:

A girl. I’m having a precious baby girl. I’ve decided to name her Rose after my grandmother. How I wish my grandmother were with me now to help me with the decisions I face. I think she’d welcome my baby—despite the circumstances of her conception.

Dora began to write about Gloria and how mean she and the other office girl had become.

I know they think the worst of me, but they are small minded and petty. I don’t expect them to understand what Henry and I share.

Then in middle of September she wrote:

Bill is worried and thinks things are about to go bad. I can’t deal with this any more. I have to think about Rose.

Bill? That was a new person, and she’d actually shared his full first name. But without a last name to go with it, it wasn’t enough to help me.