Transcending Nirvana (Dark Evoke #3) (27 page)

“I meant what I said downstairs,” his husky brogue penetrated my musing. “Wherever you go, I go. But I want you to know
all
of your choices, darlin’.”

“Huh?”

“The hardest part has been done and he’s been arrested.
You’re
the one holding the power now. You can speak up, press charges, show him that you’re not a victim, but a survivor and get him out of your life for good. Or we can stay here and begin a new life. The ball is in your court, darlin’.”

Walker

Regardless of my hand holding hers for support, I could still feel her shaking. The trembling which coursed up my arm had my heart thumping even harder in my chest. The fear and shock I saw in her eyes when I told her that Liam had finally been caught out was both a relief and heartbreaking.

Kady was strong, I’d never deny that, but that bastard still had a hold on her, a hold that I didn’t understand––a hold that isn’t visible enough for the outside world to see. I wish I could, at least that way I’d know how to help her break through it and finally be free.

I never realized how much I missed the typical morning family noises until we walked through the entrance hand in hand. The discussion of wedding invitations was halted as every eye in the room shot to us. Apart from Brittany’s.

“We’re going to need addresses to send those invites…”

“You can send ours to Boston,” Kady announced, finally releasing that lungful of air she just managed to suck up.

Now every eye was on us…actually, they were swaying between both of us, with my side receiving the hardest glare from Marcus that I’d ever seen from anyone. “
WHAT
?!”

“I said,” she halted, licking her lips and hanging her head for a moment before looking back at her father. “You can send ours to Boston.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t go back, we were just talking about getting an apartment for you both here, what’s changed your mind?” Judy rose from her seat and made her way towards us. Her voice so tender with motherly affection, that it made my eyes water a little for my own.

“Can’t you tell Judy? It’s obvious she’s been swayed…” Marcus spat, his glare so intense that it made me drop my head like the omega male. I didn’t like or care for the insinuation, but this wasn’t my court, and Kady didn’t need to see her father and boyfriend rolling on the floor.

“Liam has been arrested. Don’t you see? This is my closure to moving on, it has to be.” She recoiled when a thump followed by clattering echoed around the open area, and I instantly pulled her into my chest. The mere fact that a man, in his rage, had made her cower away had my blood boiling. It may be his house, and he may be Kady’s father and that in return deserved respect, but I still shot him a glare, which was followed by his hands in his hair while he retreated to the patio doors.

Once I guided Kady to Judy’s hold, telling her to take her for a moment, I headed out on Marcus’ tail, making sure the door was closed behind me as I stepped out onto the patio.

The old, frantic hands grasping me by the shirt and holding me against the wall out of eyeshot of the people inside, was unexpected. I didn’t fight back. I allowed his hands to tighten on me; I allowed his jaw to clench and his eyes to burn the flesh from my bones. Why? Because I knew his anger was through fear. I could see it deep down in his stare as I stood determined, with my head and shoulders pressed back against the brick.

“What the hell have you said to my daughter? You
WILL
change her mind. She isn’t going back to Boston,
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME
?!” He was furious, and regardless of whatever I was to say, he wouldn’t have listened…he wouldn’t have heard it. So I stood still and let him get it out. “
DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME
?!” he repeated himself, his hands tightening on the fabric of my shirt, shaking me between each word.

Looking into his eyes––helpless eyes, guilty eyes––I saw his determination dwindling. “Marcus,” I muttered. “He took her ability to control her own life away from her for years. She was never allowed to make decisions for herself.” His gaze softened as did his breathing, and when I lifted my hands, setting them on his shoulders, hooded eyes which were the exact same as Kady’s, were gazing back at me with understanding. “If she runs, she will always be looking over her shoulder; do you want that for your daughter? She wants to do this, she actually wants to fight back…she made the decision by herself because now she has the ability to do it. Don’t take that away from her.”

“I can’t lose my baby, Walker. I lost her once…I can’t lose her again…” the tear he fought so hard to quash finally broke free, and was trailing down his cheek as his hands lost grip of my shirt. He caught my face and pulled me so our foreheads were touching. “You look after my girl with your dying breath,” he warned, his body trembling. “I mean it. You die for my little girl. Understand?”

“Marcus, I would die for her every time.”

Kady

I never came to truly understand why people have the habit of asking: where were you and what were you doing when you heard JFK was assassinated? Or: what were you doing the moment the second plane took down the last remaining tower on 9/11? I used to think that every single one of us had that sadistic element in us. It dates back hundreds of years. The people of ancient Greece used to watch on as gladiators fought and fell, cheering at each and every vicious swipe of steel into flesh, at each and every drop of blood spilled for entertainment…

I was standing in Walker’s tiny kitchen on my cell after being back in Boston for four days, when I finally came to understand that those questions weren’t asked out of sadism, but because they were life changing moments.

“Miss Jenson, are you there?”

My body was vibrating from head to toe. Tears stole my vision as my heart met my stomach.

“Miss Jenson?”

“I don’t understand,” I was barely able to free the words through the lump forming in my throat. “I came in myself, I told you everything…”

“Unfortunately, Miss Jenson, all we have it your word against his. As far as the recording goes, considering Mr. DeLaney didn’t give consent to be recorded, it’s moot. And to be honest, even if we could use it as evidence, it just wasn’t enough––”

“What do you mean it wasn’t enough? He confessed…”

“Mr. DeLaney’s lawyer listened to the recording, Miss Jenson. In DeLaney’s defense, he didn’t confess. He actually didn’t say a word.” Falling back against the unit, the officer’s voice traveled down the speaker in an echo.

“Well, can’t that alone be used as evidence? The fact that he didn’t deny it either?”

“I’m sorry Miss Jenson. It doesn’t work that way. There’s only your word against his now, unless you have medical reports of injuries you sustained or witnesses…”

“No,” I breathed, unthinking.

“Then I’m sorry, there’s nothing more we can do. Mr. DeLaney has been released. Miss Jenson, ther––” I couldn’t listen to it anymore. I was too scared to. So I simply ended the call before I was fed more garbage which aided and bolstered the fear of what could happen, now that I just pissed off the shrewdest man I knew.

The worst part of all was the unknown––the dread that makes you physically nauseous because you can’t relax for the fear of not knowing where he is, what he’s doing, planning…

In a crumpled heap, the contents of my stomach were expelled onto the kitchen floor and it was in that moment that true fear struck me, because I felt I would be safer in the same room as him. At least I could anticipate his next move, whether it be the twitch of his lips, hardening of eyes, the drop in his hip before pulling his leg back or the flinch of his shoulder before a blow.

It was these mind games which were the worst, and I feared I would never see the end of them…

The turn in the situation wasn’t something you could discuss over a phone call, so I waited and waited for Walker’s return from the gym and McGinty’s. I didn’t want to disturb him with a bombardment of calls and texts since he had been with me practically every moment since getting back from D.C., holding my hand in the station while I gutted myself open and retold everything I had been through and had done to me. I knew Walker was strong, the strongest person with the broadest shoulders to hold the weight of the world for everyone. But he needed a breather. He needed some time for himself, and that was my order for him that day.

Each minute felt like an hour, and each second my heart was lurching from my chest. It’s funny how the mind works, how thought patterns are created and which road a simple concept or word can change the route of that thought’s progression.

Sitting on the couch, tapping my finger impatiently against the screen of my cellphone, I finally caved, and decided to text him:

Hope you’re okay, we need to talk when you come home.

Xxx

I was about to tap send when I heard the key in the lock of the apartment door. Twisting it, he booted it open only to have the chain halt its opening. Since the news I’d received earlier that afternoon about Liam freely walking the streets, I slid that chain in place instinctively. I don’t know why, it’s not like Liam couldn’t kick the damn thing in anyway.

“Kady? Darlin’?”

Relief flooded through my veins, and as I pushed away from the couch, I felt myself visibly relax. “Walker? You’re back?”

“’Aye,” he muttered as I shut the door slightly and unhooked the chain. When I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging onto him for dear life, he asked, “What’s the matter darlin’?”

“I was worried about you; I didn’t expect you to be out so long. Are you okay?”

“Me and Da we um…we had a disagreement. I went for a drive to cool off.” When I refused to tear myself away from his neck, he chuckled and held me tighter. “You really missed me, huh?”

I didn’t want to pry into father and son business, so I didn’t ask about the disagreement, but knowing that that alone would be weighing down on him a little, I decided to keep my mouth shut about the news that would change everything.

“I did,” I forced a small smile.

“Well, I need a shower,” he tore me away from his sweaty body. “Would you care to join me, Miss Jenson?”

Tomorrow I would tell him what had happened and that I was heading back to D.C. I didn’t expect him to follow me; if he did then we would go from there. But for that night, I needed a distraction, a release from my own terrifying, gut-churning thoughts, and if it was to go pear-shaped, then at least this would be a perfect way to say goodbye.

“Yeah, I’d love too, Gerry.”

Walker

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sleep. I laid in the darkness hoping that it would take me somewhere peaceful and kill the echo of hasty words, which were spoken in anger, in my head.

“Walker you got to stop what you’re doing. You don’t think Les boasts about how you fight for him? The state you left that man in, not to mention all the others this week––”

“Don’t you dare talk to me about leaving, how fucking dare you? You made me leave my Ma back in Ireland. You tore me away to start a new life over the fuckin’ pond, and I can’t even go and visit her fuckin’ grave because of your decision.”

“I was trying to do what was best, son. The way you cope with problems is something that I can’t understand and you just got worse when she passed. I thought getting you away, and starting a new life would help.”

“Would help? Fuck that shite,” I scoffed, turning for the door. “It should have been you who was taken, not her!”

The soft moan coming from beside me paused the carousel of words in my head. She looked so peaceful when she slept. So peaceful and perfect. I trailed my pinky down her straight, narrow nose and smiled. I don’t know how the Downtown boy finally got the Uptown girl, but I thanked God himself every day.

Sighing, the clock beside me read 2:38 a.m. and my body and mind still wasn’t showing any signs of sleep. Even our lengthy shower and the session upon session of passionate lovemaking, hadn’t helped wear me out.

A small, quick crease appeared as I lightly pressed a kiss to her perfect brow. Quietly removing myself from the bed, I threw on some old sweatpants and a Lonsdale sweatshirt, before snatching the keys and cellphone, and leaving her sleeping safely in the apartment.

The times Ma used to take me out for our midnight walks, just to knock me out, was one of the highlights of my childhood. So, with the window of the truck down, the cold night air hitting me and pasting itself to my face as I tore through the night on autopilot, I hoped for the same outcome. Still, it wasn’t helping this time.

I hadn’t realized where I was going until I found myself there, only this time, the parking lot of McGinty’s wasn’t silent and isolated like I was used to at this time of night. It was bustling with voices of authority and onlookers behind tape as flashing lights of both police and the ambulance, lit up the night.

My stomach churned as I pulled up and dropped from the truck. Rushing to the scene with a frown, the air stuck in my throat as I saw the gurney being rolled out of the pub. “Stay back please, sir.”

“No, this is my Da’s pub…this…” then I saw him…”Fuck…that’s my Da!” I shouted over the commotion, barging my way under the tape as the paramedics halted before putting him in the ambulance. “Da, Da…” he was silent, eyes closed, battered and bleeding. “What happened?”

“We think there was a break in, sir. Everything’s smashed up. I assume they didn’t realize that your father was still inside. As soon as they knew they must have attacked him. That’s how these situations usually go.”

As he was lifted into the ambulance, I told them that I was going with him, and clambered inside. As I held his hand in my own on the journey to MA General, the sirens reverberating as we sped through the empty streets, all I could hear in my ear was my Ma’s words which were spoken many a time, ‘
never go to bed on an argument’.

I had never felt such guilt in my life.