William Shakespeare's Star Wars (9 page)

CASS
My Lord, our scout ships have reach’d Dantooine.

Remains of th’rebel base the scouts have found,

Yet surely hath it been a length of time

Deserted. Now shall they begin to search

Surrounding systems, so to find the base.

[Exit Officer Cass
.

TARKIN
The wench hath lied! Deceiving, cut-throat girl,

Most cunning princess born of Hell’s own heart!

VADER
I knew full well she never would betray

Her priz’d Rebellion whilst in her right mind.

And thus I said: she ne’er should have our trust.

TARKIN
Destroy her! ’Tis a sentence more than just.

[Exeunt
.

HAN
Now dropping out of light speed’s frantic rush

We enter swift unto the area

Where should there be great Alderaan in view.

But pray, what madness meets the
Falcon
’s flight?

Is this an ast’roid field I see before me?

The ship hath wrought a course direct and true,

And yet no Alderaan may here be found.

O errand vile, O portents of great ill!

What shall it mean, when planets are no more,

For those who make their wages by the stars?

LUKE
What news, good Han?

HAN
—The ship’s position hits

The mark, and yet no Alderaan there is.

LUKE
I pray thee, marry, say: what canst thou mean?

How can a planet vanish in the air?

HAN
Thou hast said right, my lad. It is not there.

The planet’s gone, all turned to rock and ash.

LUKE
Thou speak’st not right. Say how? Pray how? Tell how!

OBI-WAN
Destroy’d it was, and by the Empire cruel.

HAN
A thousand thousand ships could not destroy

The planet. Truly ’twould take greater pow’r

Than ever there was known to humankind.

But soft! Another ship approaches quick.

[A small ship flies quickly past the
Millennium Falcon.

LUKE
Belike they can the tale to us relate.

OBI-WAN
Imperi’l fighter ’tis.

LUKE
—Hath it made chase?

OBI-WAN
Nay, nay! A short-range fighter ’tis. [
Aside:
] O how

This situation here doth give me pause.

HAN
No base is there nearby. Whence cometh it?

[
Aside:
] The courage in me melts away at this.

My boasts cannot resolve this mystery.

LUKE
The ship departeth swiftly! If they have

Identifi’d our lot, we shall have strife.

HAN
’Tis my intent to keep us from that Fate.

Chewbacca, render its transmissions block’d.

OBI-WAN
Pray, let it go, ’tis too far flown.

HAN
—Not long!

OBI-WAN
Dost thou agree—a fighter of its size

This deep in space could not have come alone?

LUKE
Belike ’twas in a group and now is lost.

HAN
It shall not live to tell the tale today.

LUKE
Forsooth! He makes his way to that small moon.

HAN
I may play checkmate on him ere he lands.

OBI-WAN
Alas—I sense the game, and we’re the pawns.

That is no moon. ’Tis a space station there.

[The Death Star looms in the distance, growing closer
.

HAN
’Tis far too large a space station to be.

LUKE
My feelings now do stir, I sense them well!

They tell me we shall lose the match we play.

OBI-WAN
Pray, turn thee now the ship around.

HAN
—I shall!

Now Chewie, lock thou quick th’auxill’ry pow’r.

LUKE
Why do we still approach? What can be done?

HAN
It hath th’advantage, using tractor beam

To pull us in, unto its landing bay.

LUKE
But pray, some move thou must have left to make!

HAN
My moves are finish’d, lad, I must shut down,

Else shall the ship entire soon come apart.

But still, with all my players I shall fight.

OBI-WAN
Thou canst not win, but will by strategy

Some good alternatives to fighting see.

CHORUS
So enters the
Millenn’um Falcon
in

Unto the Death Star, grand and stark and mean.

With fear the Wookiee and the three brave men

Look on as their space journey changes scene.

Meanwhile, the denizens within the base

Make haste to catch the ship that cometh near.

Commanders come with well-arm’d guards apace,

While stormtroopers do at their posts appear.

[Exeunt
.

ENVOY
A freighter hath been captur’d entering

The system Alderaan. Its markings match

A ship that hath Mos Eisley quickly fled.

VADER
This errant ship, belike, endeavors to

Return the plans unto the princess who,

Within this base, is lock’d in guarded cell.

[
To Grand Moff Tarkin:
] Perhaps the princess yet hath use to us.

[Exit Grand Moff Tarkin. Vader crosses to the ship
.

OFFICER 1
No person is aboard the ship, my Lord.

The log maintain’d on board doth tell a tale

Of all the crew abandoning the ship

Directly after its departure. ’Tis

No doubt a decoy, Sir. For all the pods

Have launchèd been.

VADER
—Hast thou found any droids?

OFFICER 1
Nay, truly not, my Lord. If there had been,

Then surely must they have abandon’d too.

VADER
Send thou a scanning crew aboard the ship,

And check its nooks and crannies, ev’ry bit.

OFFICER 1
Aye, good, my Lord.

VADER
[
aside:
]                      —Distract’d is my mind,

But through its cloudy haze the reason comes:

Unless I am in error, someone here

Has come. I have not felt this presence since

The days that are but dark in memory.

This presence I have known since I was young,

This presence that once call’d me closest friend,

This presence that hath all my hopes betray’d,

This presence that hath turn’d my day to night.

This awful presence present here must be,

So shall I to this presence violence

Present.

[Exit Darth Vader
.

OFFICER 1
—Now to thy work, and scan the ship!

TROOPER 5
The scan is done; no living soul is here.

[Exeunt stormtroopers
.

LUKE
’Tis fortunate thou hast these storage bins.

HAN
Their use hath ever been for smuggling goods.

Ne’er have I thought I would myself herein

Be smuggling. All we do is madness—fie!

If I could start the ship, the tractor beam

Would wrap its eagle’s talons ’round my neck.

OBI-WAN
The tractor beam thou may’st leave unto me.

HAN
Thou fool, I knew that thou wouldst say as much.

OBI-WAN
Aye, say thou fool? Then fool, good Sir, am I.

But when thou sayest fool remember well

That fools do walk in foolish company.

So if I am a fool, perhaps ’tis true

That other fools around me may be found.

For who is he who hath more foolish been—

The fool or other fool who follows him?

[They hide. Guards 1 and 2 standby while scanning crew enters ship and are bested by Obi-Wan, Luke, Han Solo, and Chewbacca
.

GUARD 1
Oi! Didst thou hear that sound?

GUARD 2
—Pray, hear a sound?

GUARD 1
Aye, truly—I quite clearly heard a sound.

GUARD 2
Thine ears, mayhap, play tricks on thee, my friend.

GUARD 1
Nay, nay. Dost thou not think this strange?

GUARD 2
—What strange?

GUARD 1
The droids did flee the ship we have attack’d,

And unto Tatooine have gone by pod.

’Tis true, thus far?

GUARD 2
—I cannot claim ’tis false.

GUARD 1
On Tatooine they have been tracèd first

To Jawas vile and then to humans—

GUARD 2
—Dead.

GUARD 1
Aye, dead they are—our men did see to it.

But follow on: the boy who with them liv’d

Hath fled, we knew not where, till he was seen

At yon Mos Eisley with the pair of droids.

GUARD 2
Aye, aye, ’twas all in last week’s briefing. Pray,

What more of this? Hast thou aught new to say?

GUARD 1
The boy and droids together disappear’d

The very hour the ship—this ship—did fly.

And now, the ship is here, though empty seems.

GUARD 2
Nay, empty ’tis! The scanning crew doth work

E’en now.

GUARD 1
—Which bringeth me full circle to

The sound I just have heard. Is’t possible,

My friend, that boy and droids and rebels all

Have flown within this ship unto this base

And yet—e’en now—whilst thou and I do speak,

Still hide within the ship?

GUARD 2
—I am amaz’d!

GUARD 1
Aye, verily? Think’st thou I may be right?

GUARD 2
I said thou hast amaz’d me, and ’tis true.

But never did I say I think thee right—

Thou dost amaze by thy o’eractive thoughts!

A hidden boy! The droids within! A fig!

Avaunt, thou silly guard, be not so thick.

Thy great imagination hath o’erwrought

Thy better senses. Thinkest thou thy pow’rs

Of judgment far exceed our Masters true?

May’st thou outwit the great Darth Vader or

The cunning of our Gov’nor Tarkin? Nay!

We are but simple guards, our purpose here

Is plain and to the point: we have been task’d

To watch the ship and follow all commands,

And not to prattle on with airy thoughts.

GUARD 1
Aye, thou hast spoke a well-consider’d word.

Thou art a friend, as I have e’er maintain’d,

And thou hast spoken truth and calm’d me quite.

The rebels hide herein! What vain conceit!

That e’er they should the Death Star enter—ha!

GUARD 2
It warms my heart to see thee so restor’d

And back to thine own merry, native self.

HAN
[
within:
] Pray, may we have thy good assistance here?

GUARD 1
[
to Guard 2:
] So, let us go together, friend. Good cheer!

[Guards 1 and 2 enter ship and are killed. Exeunt others
.

OFFICER 2
Say—TK-421, now wherefore hast

Thou left thy station? TK-421,

Canst thou my message hear? [
To Officer 3:
] Take thou command,

Belike he hath a bad transmitter. So

Shall I attend and help him if I may.