An April Bride (12 page)

Kitten shook her head. “What I was going to say is now that he’s home again, he’s much better than he was when we first flew to Germany to see him. He couldn’t even remember us at first, and he had horrible flashbacks. It was so hard to bear, but we didn’t give up. We started telling him about his life, and at first he got upset and frustrated.” She looked up, her eyes on Stella. “He didn’t want you to see him like that. He was afraid for you to come there. I think he was afraid of you, period, because he couldn’t remember.”

“He told me the other night that he needed to protect me,” Stella said. “But I’m a big girl. I could have handled it. And if I’d known, I could have easily postponed the wedding. I can still do that.”

Rhonda’s blonde hair curled around her square face. She was married with two children, but she was always willing to talk to Stella on the phone, as they’d done a lot lately. “Maybe he’s holding back because he does love you, Stella.
He went through a lot of trauma from a head injury and this amnesia. Maybe he’s not ready to face reality.”

Kitten’s look of sympathy just about did Stella in. “The doctors do believe part of his amnesia might be hysterical. That means he’s afraid of something or he’s purposely not remembering certain things.”

“To protect himself or me? Or both?”

Kitten nodded. “I think maybe you, Stella. In his mind, he’s protecting you from what he had to endure.”

“Me? But I’m the reality he can’t face,” Stella said, still holding a white bottle full of bubbles, the ribbon she planned to tie around the lid forgotten. “Maybe he’s not ready to face a future with me.”

Her mother glanced over at Kitten and a worried look passed between them. “Honey, you can stop this at any time if you’re not sure.”

Stella had thought of nothing else since the day Marshall returned, but each time she came close to calling off the wedding, something inside her heart held her back. She could get past the public humiliation and the whispers of gossip. But she wouldn’t get over losing Marshall—or worse, hurting him by deserting him. How could she walk away now when it seemed he needed her more than ever?

“He wants to marry me,” she said. “In spite of everything, he’s as committed to this marriage as I am.”

Kitten got up and came over to hug her close. “Then we’re all behind you, honey. You know we feel like you’re family already. And I truly believe our faith and our love for you have helped calm Marshall’s concerns. He’s coming back to you, I
just know it. I mean, he talks about you all the time. You’ve given him something to hope for.”

Stella dabbed at her wet eyes. “I’m so sorry for getting all emotional. Jitters, I guess.”

Her mother’s steady gaze held hers. “You’re entitled to jitters. Weddings are always stressful, even when things are going perfect.”

“As are marriages,” her aunt said with a grin. “But it will all be worth it.”

Stella settled down to finish the tasks at hand, but later that night in her room she wrote in her wedding journal.

“Dear heavenly Father, bless this marriage with your love and grace. Help me to be a good wife and give me the wisdom to help Marshall heal, however long it takes.” Then as she had each day since he’d returned, she recorded little notes of encouragement in the journal.

We had a wonderful time at the zoo. Panic attack on the Moonwalk. It must be so hard for him. Forgive me for doubting. I know you have a plan for us and I love him enough to wait for you to reveal that plan.

The next morning, Stella woke up feeling more confident, her heart so full of love and joy that she didn’t have room for any worries. The beautiful Sunday morning practically sang with that same joy.

After a light breakfast, Stella got dressed for church and headed back downstairs. Her phone buzzed before she’d made it to the kitchen.

“Hello.”

“Want a ride to church?”

Marshall.

“I’d love that. I was about to leave with Mama and Daddy, so I’m ready.” She glanced around the foyer where her parents were usually waiting for her. “But apparently, they’re running behind for some reason.”

“I’ll be by in ten minutes.”

She put away her phone with a smile.

“Who was that?” Mama asked as she walked in from the kitchen.

“Marshall. He’s picking me up for church.”

Her mother shot her a knowing smile. “Good. That means he’s going, and that also means he wants to spend time with you.”

Stella came around the corner and nodded. “And
that’s
good because we have less than a week before we tie the knot.”

Marshall’s mood was considerably better this morning. He’d slept like a baby last night, and he’d opened his eyes with Stella on his mind. He had a surprise for her.

But he couldn’t help but go back over his time at home. Partly to remind himself that he could remember things and partly to assure himself that he was on the right track.

He’d been terrified to meet her.

Now he wanted to keep her around. He wanted to keep remembering her.

Somewhere between his disoriented mind, being home, and trying to grasp bits and pieces of his life, he’d discovered the one constant in all of this.

Stella.

She had the cutest smile. She had the purest heart. And she had the faith to move mountains. He liked being around her.

So he’d gone from despair and fear to acceptance and contentment. Would that be enough to start a life with her?

In my heart, I know her
.

He had to trust in that. And he had to trust in God.

I
came
back here for a reason, Lord. I will do my best to honor this marriage and to make the most of what I have.

And hopefully, one day he’d truly love the woman who’d pledged her heart to him.

When he pulled up the long gravel drive to Flower Bend, he once again got that strange feeling in his stomach. He knew this place too. He could almost see the images in his head. Why did this part of his memories seem to stay just out of reach?

His therapist had suggested that he follow the shadows to find the memories, but sometimes that just gave him a headache.

Not today. Today he wanted to see what was behind that curtain that refused to open. Talking to Stella more and more had helped a lot.

She came out the back door and waved to him. Marshall took in her full-skirted green dress and cute white sandals. Her dark blonde hair was down around her shoulders. She
looked young and fresh and lovely. He envisioned her in a wedding dress, coming down the aisle.

And his heart stopped and sputtered from joy to terror.

“Hi.” She was in the car before he could catch his next breath.

“Hi,” he said, his lungs tightening. Breaking out in a cold sweat, he willed himself to calm down.

Breathe. Breathe
.

“Marshall?”

He gave her a panicked glance, then held up his right hand. “Give me a minute.”

Stella stared at him, worry coloring her face a pale white. “Are you having another flashback?”

He shook his head. “I’ll . . . be okay.”

She didn’t force him, but she did touch her hand to his.

When Marshall finally caught his breath again and the images had receded, he glanced over at Stella. She had her eyes shut and her lips were moving in a quiet prayer.

“Hey, I’m okay now.”

She opened her eyes and turned to him. “Are you up to church?”

“Yes.” He tapped the steering wheel. “I can’t hide away. I have to keep going, keep moving. I have to put one foot in front of the other and get on with my life.”

“Is that what you’re doing with our wedding? Putting one foot in front of the other so you can make it happen?”

He couldn’t lie. “Some days are harder than others.” Seeing the disappointment in her eyes, he said, “Hey, we had a little breakthrough after we went to the zoo. We’re getting there.”

Stella shook her head. “Are we? Or are you getting worse? The closer we get to the wedding, the more you seem to have these panic attacks.”

“It’s not about the wedding,” he tried to explain. “It’s about . . . everything. Just . . . don’t get the wrong idea.”

Stella didn’t respond. But Marshall could tell her good feeling went downhill pretty fast.

Marshall had things under control by the time they arrived at church. He couldn’t blow this. He’d been planning the surprise for days.

“Lots of cars here for social hour,” he said, smiling. “Must be the donuts.”

Stella gave him a measuring glance, probably to make sure he wouldn’t flip out on her again. “We don’t have to do the meet and greet,” she said. “We can sit here or go inside the sanctuary.”

Pushing away his anxieties, he said, “No, no. I want a donut. I missed donuts so much.”

They looked at each other, and he saw the relief in her eyes. “You always did love jelly donuts.”

“Yes. I remembered that when Mom had a whole box waiting for me when I came home.”

He got out and came around to open her door, and together they walked into the fellowship hall. Stella’s eyes widened when she saw the crowd inside. Then she held a hand to her mouth.

To Stella and Marshall. Congratulations!

The big banner had been hand painted by the youth group in shades of blue and silver.

“What’s all this?” she asked, her eyes bright with questions.

“You mentioned that we never had a proper couples’ shower,” Marsh said. “So some of your friends got together to give us one right here at church.”

Rhonda came rushing up to hug her. “I worked all week on this, but we had to keep it quiet. That’s one reason Marshall took you to New Orleans a couple of weeks ago. We had a quick meeting while you were away.”

“That and . . . I really did want to be alone with you,” he carefully amended. He indicated the table full of finger foods and donuts. “We eat and greet and . . . I guess we get more loot.”

Stella’s gaze moved over the tables and then back to him. “You helped plan this?”

“I asked my mom about it and she called Rhonda—just to make sure about the protocol, of course. They decided to have it here and invite all our friends who still live in the area.”

He didn’t add that his mother had been concerned about him being with so many people, but this would be quick and contained, so he could duck out at any time if things got to be too much.

Stella stood still, taking it all in. “That’s why they were acting so weird the other day. I can’t believe you did all of this . . . for us.”

He took her by the hand. “Well, I wanted you to show me off to all our friends. You remember them, I hope.”

She laughed at that. “I sure do. And I hope you will too.”

Marshall breathed a sigh of relief and tugged her forward. “Well then, let’s get this shindig going. We don’t want to be late for the church service.”

Stella gave him a grateful smile before she started hugging and greeting people. Seeing her so happy helped Marshall to calm down and focus on what he knew to be true.

Stella would make the perfect bride.

Which meant he had to be the perfect groom.

Fifteen minutes later, he was caught in a corner with several people he couldn’t remember. Somebody mentioned he sure did have a beautiful bride. Marshall nodded, ready to agree. But already his heart started pumping too fast and his breathing became shallow.